Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 5
Now that poor, unloved Melissa is off giving donuts the stinkeye somewhere else, it appears that the remaining chefs need someone else to be offended by. The spinning wand comes to rest on Katzie, who now is on everyone's nerves for no apparent reason.
For today's Quickfire, the chefs are tasked with making their own candy bar for Gail and guest judge Pichet Ong. Yum! Orlando starts off as supercilious as ever, but when Rebecca's broken hand causes her to drop her desserts all over the floor, he redeems himself by spending his free time helping her get a new batch ready. Chris is fast becoming the overachiever of the group, and works hard to make not one candy bar, but a duo. When time runs out, Mathhew's unfinished bar sinks to the bottom of Pichet's list, along with Katzie's goopy, liquidy bar. Sally appeals to him with Asian flavors, and is joined in the top by Rebecca, who makes sure to thank Orlando for his assistance. Sally wins the challenge and immunity, which feels good after all the time she's spent at Losers' Table lately.
For the Elimination Challenge, get ready for a shock... The chefs are split into teams. TEAMS! Can you believe it? What's that you say? Every single Elimination Challenge so far has been a team challenge? Oh. Well, that's kind of anticlimactic, then. Seriously, it's time to let these people work individually. Anyhow, the teams are chosen randomly, and shake out to be:
Carlos/Sally/Amanda
Orlando/Chris/Matthew
Katzie/Rebecca/Megan
The challenge is to create refreshing treats for the crowd at a nearby waterpark. Naturally, this leads to a lot of ice cream and sorbet plans. Minor drama breaks out when Carlos hogs all the available ice cream machines. As befits the theme of this season so far, it never gets beyond some impatient sniping before everything is resolved into an organized list of whose turn it is next. As a group, I'm really enjoying these people's attitudes. Plus, Carlos gets his comeuppance when his machine hogging leads other teams to turn to liquid nitrogen that he desperately needs.
As with last week's edible room, this is one of those challenges that I wish I could attend as a guest, because the park's patrons obviously love augmenting their waterslide fun by getting nine free gourmet summer desserts. The judges work their way down the line, and manage to coin yet another annoying Catch-22, bringing the total number up to about six. In this case, Johnny rails against Amanda for preparing her funnel cakes ahead of time, because the taste and texture suffer, and she should have made them to order. He then takes Mathhew to task for taking two whole minutes to make his desserts on the spot, because oh my God he's been waiting two whole minutes for it. Criticizing chefs' mistakes is one of the tenets of this show, but when you pick a complaint, perhaps you should wait more than thirty seconds before arguing for the diametrically opposite point.
At Judges' Table, the Megan/Katzie/Rebecca team gets top marks, with Katzie winning her second Elimination Challenge in a row for her impressive spumoni. Huh, that sounds a lot more sexual than I intended. Everyone else is called to Losers' Table and each of them gets their own little personal critique before Amanda is axed for those pesky funnel cakes. Well, it's shame in the sense that she seems like a cool person, but as I'm the only citizen of America who detests funnel cake, it's nice to finally have some ammunition for my lonely battle.
Overall Grade: B-
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Scrumdiddlyumptious
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 4
Honestly, I'm shocked. At a couple of things. I'm shocked that it took this long for Just Desserts to put together a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory tie-in. I'm shocked at how pleased I was to see this week's guests. And I'm shocked by how well this episode was put together, and how enjoyable it was.
The producers knew exactly how special this week was going to be, choosing to dispense with the Quickfire entirely so that they can focus on this gem of an Elimination Challenge. In order to celebrate the fortieth anniversary of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -- Forty years?!? Yikes! -- the chefs are taken to a special screening of it. Having seen the special features on the Wonka DVD, I recognize the chefs' fellow moviegoers, but they do not. It's the original cast of kids, minus one Augustus Gloop, who probably didn't feel like wandering over from Europe for this.
The chefs are then thrown straight into the Elimination Challenge, in which they must work as one big team to transform the dining room into an edible wonderland straight out of the movie's showpiece scene. As proof that you don't need to cast psychotic weirdos in order to generate good television, a game plan is agreed upon, everyone does their best to pull their weight, and it's still fascinating.
All sorts of extremely clever ideas are put into practice (or at least clever adaptations of the movie's existing ideas), from Katzie's "carrot" cakes and honey-dripping beehive, to Carlos' lickable wallpaper, to Chris' supervision and construction of a working chocolate waterfall. Johnny interrupts the process to announce that two chefs will be eliminated tonight, which has the chefs scrambling to put their individual stamp on as many desserts as possible.
I've never wanted to be at a Just Desserts tasting more as when the Wonka kids (along with some actual kids) are turned loose in the finished room to go nuts. Apart from getting all sorts of delightful treats, it just looks super-fun. When the event is over, Katzie, Carlos, and Matt are declared the top three, with Katzie taking a very deserved win for her underground cakes and edible beehive.
Meanwhile, Sally's gritty, ugly "dirt", Melissa's abominable donuts, Dr. Teeth's lackluster gummi bears, and Megan's disappointing bourbon cake get them shunted to the bottom. The top three chefs admirably stick up for Megan, stressing that her dessert may have suffered because she spent most of her time busting ass to help other chefs and ensuring the room as a whole turned out well. Johnny is a bit smarmy about this, but thankfully, appears to take it into consideration. After the deliberations, the judges finally, finally axe Dr. Teeth. About three episodes late, in my estimation, but better late than never. Poor, unloved Melissa also gets her walking papers, so it looks like we're getting down to the real competition now.
Overall Grade: A
Honestly, I'm shocked. At a couple of things. I'm shocked that it took this long for Just Desserts to put together a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory tie-in. I'm shocked at how pleased I was to see this week's guests. And I'm shocked by how well this episode was put together, and how enjoyable it was.
The producers knew exactly how special this week was going to be, choosing to dispense with the Quickfire entirely so that they can focus on this gem of an Elimination Challenge. In order to celebrate the fortieth anniversary of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -- Forty years?!? Yikes! -- the chefs are taken to a special screening of it. Having seen the special features on the Wonka DVD, I recognize the chefs' fellow moviegoers, but they do not. It's the original cast of kids, minus one Augustus Gloop, who probably didn't feel like wandering over from Europe for this.
The chefs are then thrown straight into the Elimination Challenge, in which they must work as one big team to transform the dining room into an edible wonderland straight out of the movie's showpiece scene. As proof that you don't need to cast psychotic weirdos in order to generate good television, a game plan is agreed upon, everyone does their best to pull their weight, and it's still fascinating.
All sorts of extremely clever ideas are put into practice (or at least clever adaptations of the movie's existing ideas), from Katzie's "carrot" cakes and honey-dripping beehive, to Carlos' lickable wallpaper, to Chris' supervision and construction of a working chocolate waterfall. Johnny interrupts the process to announce that two chefs will be eliminated tonight, which has the chefs scrambling to put their individual stamp on as many desserts as possible.
I've never wanted to be at a Just Desserts tasting more as when the Wonka kids (along with some actual kids) are turned loose in the finished room to go nuts. Apart from getting all sorts of delightful treats, it just looks super-fun. When the event is over, Katzie, Carlos, and Matt are declared the top three, with Katzie taking a very deserved win for her underground cakes and edible beehive.
Meanwhile, Sally's gritty, ugly "dirt", Melissa's abominable donuts, Dr. Teeth's lackluster gummi bears, and Megan's disappointing bourbon cake get them shunted to the bottom. The top three chefs admirably stick up for Megan, stressing that her dessert may have suffered because she spent most of her time busting ass to help other chefs and ensuring the room as a whole turned out well. Johnny is a bit smarmy about this, but thankfully, appears to take it into consideration. After the deliberations, the judges finally, finally axe Dr. Teeth. About three episodes late, in my estimation, but better late than never. Poor, unloved Melissa also gets her walking papers, so it looks like we're getting down to the real competition now.
Overall Grade: A
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Beverly Hillbillies
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 3
I've never been a fan of television "synergy". Not the word, which strikes me as one of those obnoxious corporate buzz phrases that threatened to consume us in the '80s, and not the convention, which shoehorns people into situations in which they simply do not belong. Tonight is no exception, and only magnifies Bravo's problem of having precisely one watchable franchise.
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs are asked to make a mini-dessert that will be entered into a public vote that will perhaps inspire a new gum flavor. Wooooooooooooooooooooo! Realizing that this prize won't exactly get the chefs jazzed about their work, Gail offers a cool twenty-five grand to the winning contestant, in addition to the usual immunity. That does the trick. Everyone gives it their all, and several delightful little tiny treats are presented. Rebecca, Melissa, and Matthew fall to the bottom three of guest judge Hugh Acheson's list, while Carlos, Nelson, and Dr. Teeth (that'd be Craig - whose giant chompers, zany voice, and ill-advised facial hair all scream Muppet) get top marks. Dr. Teeth pulls down the win and immunity, and crows about going shopping, which leads to a shot of a very frustrated Carlos, who wanted to put some of that scratch away for his kids' college education.
That's about it for the entertaining part of tonight's episode, as the Elimination Challenge slides into the hated synergy mentioned above. See, the reason I watch Top Chef and not The Real Housewives is because I like Top Chef and don't like The Real Housewives. See how that works? Does Bravo think that by forcing the latter into the former that I'll become a fan of these vapid whores? No sale. So, the challenge doesn't even really matter, as it's just as contrived and pointless as any Real Housewives episode. Suffice it to say that the chefs will be split into two teams and will put together a giant dessert presentation to impress people that we're all asked to pretend have a modicum of class, taste, or sophistication. As winner of the Quickfire, Dr. Teeth gets to select team captains, and he chooses himself and Amanda. They alternate choices, and the teams shake out to be:
Dr. Teeth/Sally/Matthew/Orlando/Nelson/Rebecca
Amanda/Chris/Carlos/Megan/Katzie/Melissa
Poor Melissa is chosen last yet again, and despite her protestations, you can tell that her psyche is started to get a little damaged by the unpopularity. A suggestion by Closet Case Husband #7B that Botoxed Shallow Wife #16F enjoys the color pink leads to both teams' presentations appearing as if the Barbie factory just exploded. Aside from that, both tables are actually quite nice. The desserts are presented to the judges, and a panel of various Botoxed Shallow Wives, Purse Dog #4B, Closet Case Husband #7B, and Entitled Brat #23P.
After the desserts are consumed and the presumable off-screen break so everyone can purge, Amanda's team is declared the winner. Actually, "Chris'" team is declared the winner, I guess because he explained the team's concept to the panel. Still, ouch. On the losing team, Matthew, Orlando, and Rebecca did good enough work to save them from the chop, which leaves Dr. Teeth, Nelson, and Sally up for elimination. Or rather, Nelson and Sally, because the judges did not eliminate Dr. Teeth when they had the chance, and despite making the worst dessert of the day, and being a terrible team leader, he's got that Quickfire immunity tonight. He's dismissed, but not before Johnny makes sure to tell him that he'd be looking at the business end of an elimination if he hadn't won the Quickfire.
Back in the Kitchen, Dr. Teeth whines about Johnny's criticism, which nobody else wants to hear, since no matter what happens, the rules of the game have brought about the end of someone who's far more talented than he is. I guess I can't fault him for not giving up his immunity and throwing himself on the sword, although everyone both on-screen and off dearly wishes he would. Instead, the judges shrug their shoulders and axe Nelson. You see what horrors this goddamned synergy brings about?
Overall Grade: C
I've never been a fan of television "synergy". Not the word, which strikes me as one of those obnoxious corporate buzz phrases that threatened to consume us in the '80s, and not the convention, which shoehorns people into situations in which they simply do not belong. Tonight is no exception, and only magnifies Bravo's problem of having precisely one watchable franchise.
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs are asked to make a mini-dessert that will be entered into a public vote that will perhaps inspire a new gum flavor. Wooooooooooooooooooooo! Realizing that this prize won't exactly get the chefs jazzed about their work, Gail offers a cool twenty-five grand to the winning contestant, in addition to the usual immunity. That does the trick. Everyone gives it their all, and several delightful little tiny treats are presented. Rebecca, Melissa, and Matthew fall to the bottom three of guest judge Hugh Acheson's list, while Carlos, Nelson, and Dr. Teeth (that'd be Craig - whose giant chompers, zany voice, and ill-advised facial hair all scream Muppet) get top marks. Dr. Teeth pulls down the win and immunity, and crows about going shopping, which leads to a shot of a very frustrated Carlos, who wanted to put some of that scratch away for his kids' college education.
That's about it for the entertaining part of tonight's episode, as the Elimination Challenge slides into the hated synergy mentioned above. See, the reason I watch Top Chef and not The Real Housewives is because I like Top Chef and don't like The Real Housewives. See how that works? Does Bravo think that by forcing the latter into the former that I'll become a fan of these vapid whores? No sale. So, the challenge doesn't even really matter, as it's just as contrived and pointless as any Real Housewives episode. Suffice it to say that the chefs will be split into two teams and will put together a giant dessert presentation to impress people that we're all asked to pretend have a modicum of class, taste, or sophistication. As winner of the Quickfire, Dr. Teeth gets to select team captains, and he chooses himself and Amanda. They alternate choices, and the teams shake out to be:
Dr. Teeth/Sally/Matthew/Orlando/Nelson/Rebecca
Amanda/Chris/Carlos/Megan/Katzie/Melissa
Poor Melissa is chosen last yet again, and despite her protestations, you can tell that her psyche is started to get a little damaged by the unpopularity. A suggestion by Closet Case Husband #7B that Botoxed Shallow Wife #16F enjoys the color pink leads to both teams' presentations appearing as if the Barbie factory just exploded. Aside from that, both tables are actually quite nice. The desserts are presented to the judges, and a panel of various Botoxed Shallow Wives, Purse Dog #4B, Closet Case Husband #7B, and Entitled Brat #23P.
After the desserts are consumed and the presumable off-screen break so everyone can purge, Amanda's team is declared the winner. Actually, "Chris'" team is declared the winner, I guess because he explained the team's concept to the panel. Still, ouch. On the losing team, Matthew, Orlando, and Rebecca did good enough work to save them from the chop, which leaves Dr. Teeth, Nelson, and Sally up for elimination. Or rather, Nelson and Sally, because the judges did not eliminate Dr. Teeth when they had the chance, and despite making the worst dessert of the day, and being a terrible team leader, he's got that Quickfire immunity tonight. He's dismissed, but not before Johnny makes sure to tell him that he'd be looking at the business end of an elimination if he hadn't won the Quickfire.
Back in the Kitchen, Dr. Teeth whines about Johnny's criticism, which nobody else wants to hear, since no matter what happens, the rules of the game have brought about the end of someone who's far more talented than he is. I guess I can't fault him for not giving up his immunity and throwing himself on the sword, although everyone both on-screen and off dearly wishes he would. Instead, the judges shrug their shoulders and axe Nelson. You see what horrors this goddamned synergy brings about?
Overall Grade: C
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Bittersweet Symphony
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 2
We begin tonight's episode with Rebecca suddenly incurring a disabling hand injury. I don't know if the viewing party was busy filling our wineglasses, and just wasn't paying enough attention, or if the show really didn't explain how it happened, but it just kind of comes out of nowhere. She's bandaged up, and hopes for the best in the upcoming challenges.
Tonight's Quickfire is a good one. Gimmicks are fine once in a while, but I tend to enjoy challenges that are simply "Take this basic ingredient, and do whatever you like with it". In this case, it's lemons. That makes it doubly exciting, because I happen to love lemon desserts, so the Kitchen is soon filled with concoctions that have me scratching at the screen.
Nelson, Orlando, and Amanda fall to the bottom of guest judge Margaret Braun's list, mostly due to flavor combinations that she doesn't happen to be a fan of. Matthew, Katzie, and Carlos take the top spots, with Matthew winning the challenge and its attendant immunity.
In the Elimination Challenge, the chefs are split into four teams, which are picked by captains:
Red: Matthew, Chris, Megan, and Melissa
Green: Carlos, Sally, and Rebecca
Black: Orlando, Nelson, and Craig
Blue: Amanda, Katzie, and Vanarin
Melissa is picked last - she's fairly unpopular these days, due to her attack on Lina last week. Honestly, she does seem to be a somewhat unpleasant person, but let's not pretend that anything she said about Lina was untrue. Orlando has issues picking anyone as awesome as he is. Apparently, being in the bottom of two out of three challenges is our benchmark for quality these days.
The teams will be making cakes to serve the 150 orchestra members at the iconic concert hall in LA, and each chef is responsible for his or her own individual tier. Three of the teams hum along quite harmoniously in terms of teamwork, even if not all of their creative ideas are the best. The fourth team contains Orlando, so...
When all is said and done, the Green and Red teams wind up on top, so once again, the team with the extra pair of hands was able to accomplish better things. What a shock! The Red team takes the win, and I hope the victory is achievement enough, because they don't get anything for it. At Losers' Table, the Black team is rightfully blasted for creating three tiers that have absolutely no relation to one another, while the Blue team crammed too many details onto their cake, resulting in a sloppy mess (though not the worst mess we've ever seen).
Despite the fact that this is an opportune time to jettison Craig, who's so clearly out of his depth that he should be wearing floaties, the judges cut Vanarin for his disappointing flavor and amateur decoration work. It's a shame, but becomes less of one when he complains in his final interview about how he "didn't have an opportunity" to show what he can really do. I'm pretty sure you did, chief. You just didn't do it well.
Overall Grade: B
We begin tonight's episode with Rebecca suddenly incurring a disabling hand injury. I don't know if the viewing party was busy filling our wineglasses, and just wasn't paying enough attention, or if the show really didn't explain how it happened, but it just kind of comes out of nowhere. She's bandaged up, and hopes for the best in the upcoming challenges.
Tonight's Quickfire is a good one. Gimmicks are fine once in a while, but I tend to enjoy challenges that are simply "Take this basic ingredient, and do whatever you like with it". In this case, it's lemons. That makes it doubly exciting, because I happen to love lemon desserts, so the Kitchen is soon filled with concoctions that have me scratching at the screen.
Nelson, Orlando, and Amanda fall to the bottom of guest judge Margaret Braun's list, mostly due to flavor combinations that she doesn't happen to be a fan of. Matthew, Katzie, and Carlos take the top spots, with Matthew winning the challenge and its attendant immunity.
In the Elimination Challenge, the chefs are split into four teams, which are picked by captains:
Red: Matthew, Chris, Megan, and Melissa
Green: Carlos, Sally, and Rebecca
Black: Orlando, Nelson, and Craig
Blue: Amanda, Katzie, and Vanarin
Melissa is picked last - she's fairly unpopular these days, due to her attack on Lina last week. Honestly, she does seem to be a somewhat unpleasant person, but let's not pretend that anything she said about Lina was untrue. Orlando has issues picking anyone as awesome as he is. Apparently, being in the bottom of two out of three challenges is our benchmark for quality these days.
The teams will be making cakes to serve the 150 orchestra members at the iconic concert hall in LA, and each chef is responsible for his or her own individual tier. Three of the teams hum along quite harmoniously in terms of teamwork, even if not all of their creative ideas are the best. The fourth team contains Orlando, so...
When all is said and done, the Green and Red teams wind up on top, so once again, the team with the extra pair of hands was able to accomplish better things. What a shock! The Red team takes the win, and I hope the victory is achievement enough, because they don't get anything for it. At Losers' Table, the Black team is rightfully blasted for creating three tiers that have absolutely no relation to one another, while the Blue team crammed too many details onto their cake, resulting in a sloppy mess (though not the worst mess we've ever seen).
Despite the fact that this is an opportune time to jettison Craig, who's so clearly out of his depth that he should be wearing floaties, the judges cut Vanarin for his disappointing flavor and amateur decoration work. It's a shame, but becomes less of one when he complains in his final interview about how he "didn't have an opportunity" to show what he can really do. I'm pretty sure you did, chief. You just didn't do it well.
Overall Grade: B
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