Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 10
In the final episode, our three finalists are put through their usual paces. Each of the chefs must make a showpiece, an entremet cake, a bonbon, a plated dessert, and a bread course for the judges and a bunch of Names. There's also supposed to be some connection between the desserts and the chefs' loved ones, but it's fairly pointless. The Names help out as sous chefs on Day 1, and as we've seen in the past, eliminated contestants come in and are forced to help on Day 2.
Each chef gets two helpers, one of their choosing and one chosen at random. As fun as it would be to see someone get stuck with Dr. Teeth, it is not to be. Matthew gets Megan assigned to him, then chooses Carlos. Chris gets Rebecca, and chooses Amanda. Sally gets Vanarin (who everybody's forgotten), and chooses Orlando. This last choice is most important, because Sally knows full well that she's weak at making showpieces, so she sets Orlando to executing her design.
All three chefs work hard to impress the diners, though Matthew makes the weird choice to wander so far out of his comfort zone in service of risk-taking that everything he makes winds up looking so-so, with the showpiece being particularly ugly. That brings it down to Sally and Chris, and... Well, let's see...
Chris has been a focused overachiever from the start, while Sally has gone with the flow. Chris' story of leaving behind a newborn daughter with a heart condition is played to the hilt, while Sally has an ostensibly typical home life. And there's the most decisive factor: Chris made his own showpiece, while Sally used the help she was provided and expressly told to use. Well! We can't have that! Chris naturally takes the title, which is understandable and well-earned, though I don't think anybody can claim to be surprised.
So, shall we spend a moment talking about the season as a whole? If you don't count Top Chef Masters -- which I don't -- this has unquestionably been the gentlest crop of contestants this franchise has ever seen. A lot of people found that boring, but I thought it was a nice change to watch a competition that centered almost exclusively on challenges and not on maladjusted psychotic douchebags. Nobody wailing about their mommy's red-hots. No snide junior high cliques. No catty, backstabbing, egocentric bitches throwing glitter bombs. No homophobic jerks tearfully talking about their children while sitting on a stash of kiddie-porn. Just a bunch of mature adults, doing their best to excel in a competition that put their skills to the test. Novel, huh?
The challenges ranged from fine to great, with no real catastrophes to piss me off. If there's one issue I took with the season, it's that the judging showed no improvement from the lackluster panel last season. Gail is still a perfectly genial host, but Hubert still looks like he wishes he were eating savory dishes, Dannielle still shows no sign of why her opinion is any more relevant than your Great Aunt Betty's, and Johnny has become even more wooden and cranky.
Like I said, I'm pleased that there was no sucky challenge that turned out to be unwinnable, because there's almost nothing that makes me angrier. If there is something that can achieve it, though, it's the Chef-22. This isn't specific to Johnny; Ptom and Padma are known to indulge in this ugly practice. But at least they usually have the good grace to spread it out over multiple episodes. Johnny chided someone for having the temerity to make him wait after chiding someone else for not making her dessert to order, literally in the span of five minutes. In this finale, Sally is given a sous chef to help, and then punished for using said help. So, sorry you lost the weight for nothing, Iuzzini, but I'm afraid your television persona needs more of a workout than your biceps.
Overall Grade: B
Overall Season Grade: B
Showing posts with label TCJD2. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TCJD2. Show all posts
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
World War Chew
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 9
It's time to decide the finalists, so let's be sure to pour on the emotion! Calls home! Orlando's mom had to come to terms with his sexuality! Chris' daughter has a heart condition! Matt misses his wife! Sally comes from an immigrant family!
That dispensed with, Gail is joined in the Kitchen by Suzanne Goin for no reason, as there is no Quickfire tonight. But hell, I like Suzanne Goin, so sure, let's have her along for this announcement. Instead of a Quickfire, the chefs will have an extended Elimination Challenge. There are several nations' flags offered, and the chefs each pick one:
Chris: France
Orlando: Spain
Matt: Italy
Sally: Cuba
Now, the twist. The chefs have to make a dessert dish...that looks like a savory dish from the country they chose. Ouch. Sometimes, the twists and turns of the challenges can be a little silly, but this one is devious without being stupid or unmanageable. I like it! Matthew is sitting pretty, as he creates "manicotti" without much trouble. Orlando hits upon "paella", but doesn't think to do a rice pudding, which is odd to me. Sally dithers and second-guesses herself until she's forced to settle on making a "Cuban sandwich".
And Chris? Chris chooses "Beef Wellington", which Johnny notes is rather more English than French. The judges then bend over backwards to excuse him for it, and overlook him using store-bought puff pastry instead of making his own. Ladies and gentleman, our ordained season winner!
A large assortment of Names judges the challenge, with special guest judge Cat Cora, who looks fantastic all gussied up for the camera and not in her usual stressed-out-frantic-cooking mode. Matthew smirks to the camera that his wife better not find out about his secret crush on Cora, wink-wink. Um, Matt? Even if you were single, I don't think she'd be interested.
When it comes to judging, Sally's looks far-and-away most like her inspiration food, and she takes a much-deserved win.
With Chris automatically safe because we all know he's going to win the competition now, that leaves it between Matthew, whose "manicotti" was too safe, and Orlando, whose "paella" was kind of a mess. Lo and behold, Orlando's persnickety attitude can't keep him afloat any longer, and he's set adrift. So, we're down to our final three. Well, we're actually down to our winner, but we should probably let them have their finale anyway, right?
Overall Grade: B-
It's time to decide the finalists, so let's be sure to pour on the emotion! Calls home! Orlando's mom had to come to terms with his sexuality! Chris' daughter has a heart condition! Matt misses his wife! Sally comes from an immigrant family!
That dispensed with, Gail is joined in the Kitchen by Suzanne Goin for no reason, as there is no Quickfire tonight. But hell, I like Suzanne Goin, so sure, let's have her along for this announcement. Instead of a Quickfire, the chefs will have an extended Elimination Challenge. There are several nations' flags offered, and the chefs each pick one:
Chris: France
Orlando: Spain
Matt: Italy
Sally: Cuba
Now, the twist. The chefs have to make a dessert dish...that looks like a savory dish from the country they chose. Ouch. Sometimes, the twists and turns of the challenges can be a little silly, but this one is devious without being stupid or unmanageable. I like it! Matthew is sitting pretty, as he creates "manicotti" without much trouble. Orlando hits upon "paella", but doesn't think to do a rice pudding, which is odd to me. Sally dithers and second-guesses herself until she's forced to settle on making a "Cuban sandwich".
And Chris? Chris chooses "Beef Wellington", which Johnny notes is rather more English than French. The judges then bend over backwards to excuse him for it, and overlook him using store-bought puff pastry instead of making his own. Ladies and gentleman, our ordained season winner!
A large assortment of Names judges the challenge, with special guest judge Cat Cora, who looks fantastic all gussied up for the camera and not in her usual stressed-out-frantic-cooking mode. Matthew smirks to the camera that his wife better not find out about his secret crush on Cora, wink-wink. Um, Matt? Even if you were single, I don't think she'd be interested.
When it comes to judging, Sally's looks far-and-away most like her inspiration food, and she takes a much-deserved win.
With Chris automatically safe because we all know he's going to win the competition now, that leaves it between Matthew, whose "manicotti" was too safe, and Orlando, whose "paella" was kind of a mess. Lo and behold, Orlando's persnickety attitude can't keep him afloat any longer, and he's set adrift. So, we're down to our final three. Well, we're actually down to our winner, but we should probably let them have their finale anyway, right?
Overall Grade: B-
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Easy As Pie
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 8
Tonight's episode kicks off with Chris sharing some family drama that usually portends either a stunning victory or a looming elimination. His newborn daughter has some medical issues, and he wants to win the competition to help pay for the treatments. That's an eminently noble motivation, of course, but you've got to think the producers are sitting there thinking "Stop talking about how you're going to spend the money on your kids! You're supposed to be obsessed with your career!"
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs are asked to make a pie for Gail and guest judge Francois Payard. Just baking a pie is too simple, of course, so the chefs are forced to do it one-handed. Everyone manages pretty well, except poor Matthew, who merely nudges his pie with his off-limit hand for one moment. That's enough to disqualify him from the win. It turns out not to matter, as Sally and Chris take the bottom two spots, and Orlando and Carlos take the top. Orlando's four-berry pie looks remarkably good, but it is Carlos who scores the win and the $5000 prize.
For the Elimination Challenge, it's time for Dana Cowin to host another fake party. In this case, it's got a carnival theme, and the chefs are told to to make upscale food inspired by usual carnival fare. My gorge immediately begins to rise, because I just know somebody's going to include fucking funnel cake. Yuck. Indeed, Chris makes funnel-cake-infused ice cream.
It's not very successful, and he lands in the bottom with Carlos (who made mini-burgers and fries out of dessert ingredients that look wonderful, but taste off) and Orlando (who once again gives the judges a description he can't sell when his candy apple inspiration leads to a chocolate dessert). Sally and Matthew get top marks, with Matthew snagging the win. Carlos takes the long walk home, much to our viewing party's despair. Though I had Sallyesque leanings before this episode, they're now full-blown. Get it, girl!
Overall Grade: B-
Tonight's episode kicks off with Chris sharing some family drama that usually portends either a stunning victory or a looming elimination. His newborn daughter has some medical issues, and he wants to win the competition to help pay for the treatments. That's an eminently noble motivation, of course, but you've got to think the producers are sitting there thinking "Stop talking about how you're going to spend the money on your kids! You're supposed to be obsessed with your career!"
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs are asked to make a pie for Gail and guest judge Francois Payard. Just baking a pie is too simple, of course, so the chefs are forced to do it one-handed. Everyone manages pretty well, except poor Matthew, who merely nudges his pie with his off-limit hand for one moment. That's enough to disqualify him from the win. It turns out not to matter, as Sally and Chris take the bottom two spots, and Orlando and Carlos take the top. Orlando's four-berry pie looks remarkably good, but it is Carlos who scores the win and the $5000 prize.
For the Elimination Challenge, it's time for Dana Cowin to host another fake party. In this case, it's got a carnival theme, and the chefs are told to to make upscale food inspired by usual carnival fare. My gorge immediately begins to rise, because I just know somebody's going to include fucking funnel cake. Yuck. Indeed, Chris makes funnel-cake-infused ice cream.
It's not very successful, and he lands in the bottom with Carlos (who made mini-burgers and fries out of dessert ingredients that look wonderful, but taste off) and Orlando (who once again gives the judges a description he can't sell when his candy apple inspiration leads to a chocolate dessert). Sally and Matthew get top marks, with Matthew snagging the win. Carlos takes the long walk home, much to our viewing party's despair. Though I had Sallyesque leanings before this episode, they're now full-blown. Get it, girl!
Overall Grade: B-
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
D'oh Nuts
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 7
Another evening, another strange opening scene in which the -- Rivalry? Dislike? Sexual tension? -- between Sally and Katzie is superficially explored. Honestly, it's baffling. The not-at-all-unexpected friendship between Chris and Matt is also mentioned, making me think one of them is not long for this competition.
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs are tasked with making an exciting doughnut (to serve with coffee) for Gail and guest judge Mark Israel. The winner won't get immunity, but will score a quick ten-thousand dollars. It's not all sprinkles and sugar, though, because the loser of the Quickfire will be eliminated. Pretty harsh for someone in the final seven. Sally, who's always good for a reaction shot, bugs her eyes out upon hearing this news.
When time runs out, Carlos and Sally take the top spots, with Carlos winning the challenge and the prize. Yay, now one of his kids can go to college for a third of a semester! Megan, Matt, and Orlando comprise the bottom three, and Orlando thinks that with elimination hanging in the balance, now would be a peachy time to whine and nitpick about his placement. However, since this is a television show and not real life, copping an attitude is actually a positive, and poor, normal Megan is shown the door. Not to say that her elimination isn't fair; her doughnut did look fairly gross.
The Elimination Challenge is yet another team challenge, in which chocolate re-establishes its reign as King of Dessertland. Each team must make a showpiece, and each team member is responsible for an individual dessert, as well. The teams shake out to be:
Orlando/Carlos/Sally
Chris/Matt/Katzie
Orlando and Chris immediately go head-to-head on the showpieces, although neither can see what the other is doing, as partitions have been put up to keep everyone's eyes on their own papers. Orlando passes along a recipe to his team, and trusts Carlos and Sally to execute his individual dessert for him. That sounds like it has the potential for major disaster, but everything turns out for the best. In the end, both showpieces turn out quite lovely, and some of the individual desserts look great as well. Any dessert that incorporates bananas put its maker in the running for my new best friend.
The Orlando/Carlos/Sally team takes the win, which pleases Orlando no end, since he once lost to Chris in another competition. Chris, Matt, and Katzie head to Losers' Table, and despite all the ominous "He's my friend" talk at the beginning of the episode, it is Katzie who gets her walking papers. Wow. Not a good episode for the ladies. Sally, perhaps cognizant of that fact, gives Katzie a hug on her way out, so their conflict will remain a mystery for the ages.
Overall Grade: C
Another evening, another strange opening scene in which the -- Rivalry? Dislike? Sexual tension? -- between Sally and Katzie is superficially explored. Honestly, it's baffling. The not-at-all-unexpected friendship between Chris and Matt is also mentioned, making me think one of them is not long for this competition.
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs are tasked with making an exciting doughnut (to serve with coffee) for Gail and guest judge Mark Israel. The winner won't get immunity, but will score a quick ten-thousand dollars. It's not all sprinkles and sugar, though, because the loser of the Quickfire will be eliminated. Pretty harsh for someone in the final seven. Sally, who's always good for a reaction shot, bugs her eyes out upon hearing this news.
When time runs out, Carlos and Sally take the top spots, with Carlos winning the challenge and the prize. Yay, now one of his kids can go to college for a third of a semester! Megan, Matt, and Orlando comprise the bottom three, and Orlando thinks that with elimination hanging in the balance, now would be a peachy time to whine and nitpick about his placement. However, since this is a television show and not real life, copping an attitude is actually a positive, and poor, normal Megan is shown the door. Not to say that her elimination isn't fair; her doughnut did look fairly gross.
The Elimination Challenge is yet another team challenge, in which chocolate re-establishes its reign as King of Dessertland. Each team must make a showpiece, and each team member is responsible for an individual dessert, as well. The teams shake out to be:
Orlando/Carlos/Sally
Chris/Matt/Katzie
Orlando and Chris immediately go head-to-head on the showpieces, although neither can see what the other is doing, as partitions have been put up to keep everyone's eyes on their own papers. Orlando passes along a recipe to his team, and trusts Carlos and Sally to execute his individual dessert for him. That sounds like it has the potential for major disaster, but everything turns out for the best. In the end, both showpieces turn out quite lovely, and some of the individual desserts look great as well. Any dessert that incorporates bananas put its maker in the running for my new best friend.
The Orlando/Carlos/Sally team takes the win, which pleases Orlando no end, since he once lost to Chris in another competition. Chris, Matt, and Katzie head to Losers' Table, and despite all the ominous "He's my friend" talk at the beginning of the episode, it is Katzie who gets her walking papers. Wow. Not a good episode for the ladies. Sally, perhaps cognizant of that fact, gives Katzie a hug on her way out, so their conflict will remain a mystery for the ages.
Overall Grade: C
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Mark of the Beast
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 6
I've mentioned already that I'm enjoying the relatively low levels of drama this season, and I stand by that opinion. That said, does anyone have any idea why Sally hates Katzie so much? Did Katzie do a really offensive Asian stereotype voice off-camera? Did she steal Sally's toothpaste? Seriously, every episode seems to feature a segment about how Katzie really grinds Sally's gears, and we have zero indication of why that might be. Odd.
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs yank out a root vegetable buried in some dirt, and must make a dessert featuring that item for Gail and guest judge Jordan Kahn. Naturally, some items are more difficult than others. Chris, ever the overachiever, makes sure to serve his root veggie garnish at just the right time to make it taste the best. Unfortunately, that time is after the buzzer, and he's disqualified. Rebecca and Carlos sink to the bottom two, while Matthew and Sally rise to the top. Sally, who's really getting the hang of this whole Quickfire thing, scores her second consecutive win, along with immunity and $5,000. Not bad for an hour's work.
Finally, we get an Elimination Challenge that doesn't split the chefs into teams. Unfortunately, now that the chefs can shine on their own, they're given one of those wacky-ass challenges in which it's well-nigh impossible to determine the good chefs from the bad, because the challenge restrictions are so off-kilter that it basically boils down to luck. Aging Beastie Boy Adam Horovitz assumes the mantle of guest judge, and presents the chefs with an array of weird ingredients mentioned in Beastie Boys' songs. Each chef has to choose two of the off-putting foods to incorporate into their dessert, and in an additional twist, are assigned a third by one of their fellow chefs.
The foods are presented at an art show, where thankfully, the guests are fully prepared and in the mood for weird cuisine. Marcel is in attendance for whatever reason, but I see no reason to give him any more attention. All of the desserts sound pretty nasty, what with the pesto, falafel, matzo meal, and other non-dessert ingredients. Sally is the exception, managing to make a toffee and chicken skin dessert that I actively want to try. She scores a position in the Winners' Circle, along with Chris and Matt, who wins for incorporating mashed potatoes and gravy into his dessert. Down at the bottom, Katzie, Megan, and Rebecca are scolded for their disappointing dishes, with Rebecca taking the long walk home. Honestly, if I woke up and found myself on this show knowing that I couldn't win, this is the challenge I would want to get eliminated on. To reiterate my original point, not knowing how to make hummus into a pastry is no reason to beat yourself up, so Rebecca can make a graceful exit with a minimum of pain and regret. Except that whole broken bone thing.
Overall Grade: B-
I've mentioned already that I'm enjoying the relatively low levels of drama this season, and I stand by that opinion. That said, does anyone have any idea why Sally hates Katzie so much? Did Katzie do a really offensive Asian stereotype voice off-camera? Did she steal Sally's toothpaste? Seriously, every episode seems to feature a segment about how Katzie really grinds Sally's gears, and we have zero indication of why that might be. Odd.
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs yank out a root vegetable buried in some dirt, and must make a dessert featuring that item for Gail and guest judge Jordan Kahn. Naturally, some items are more difficult than others. Chris, ever the overachiever, makes sure to serve his root veggie garnish at just the right time to make it taste the best. Unfortunately, that time is after the buzzer, and he's disqualified. Rebecca and Carlos sink to the bottom two, while Matthew and Sally rise to the top. Sally, who's really getting the hang of this whole Quickfire thing, scores her second consecutive win, along with immunity and $5,000. Not bad for an hour's work.
Finally, we get an Elimination Challenge that doesn't split the chefs into teams. Unfortunately, now that the chefs can shine on their own, they're given one of those wacky-ass challenges in which it's well-nigh impossible to determine the good chefs from the bad, because the challenge restrictions are so off-kilter that it basically boils down to luck. Aging Beastie Boy Adam Horovitz assumes the mantle of guest judge, and presents the chefs with an array of weird ingredients mentioned in Beastie Boys' songs. Each chef has to choose two of the off-putting foods to incorporate into their dessert, and in an additional twist, are assigned a third by one of their fellow chefs.
The foods are presented at an art show, where thankfully, the guests are fully prepared and in the mood for weird cuisine. Marcel is in attendance for whatever reason, but I see no reason to give him any more attention. All of the desserts sound pretty nasty, what with the pesto, falafel, matzo meal, and other non-dessert ingredients. Sally is the exception, managing to make a toffee and chicken skin dessert that I actively want to try. She scores a position in the Winners' Circle, along with Chris and Matt, who wins for incorporating mashed potatoes and gravy into his dessert. Down at the bottom, Katzie, Megan, and Rebecca are scolded for their disappointing dishes, with Rebecca taking the long walk home. Honestly, if I woke up and found myself on this show knowing that I couldn't win, this is the challenge I would want to get eliminated on. To reiterate my original point, not knowing how to make hummus into a pastry is no reason to beat yourself up, so Rebecca can make a graceful exit with a minimum of pain and regret. Except that whole broken bone thing.
Overall Grade: B-
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Water Sports
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 5
Now that poor, unloved Melissa is off giving donuts the stinkeye somewhere else, it appears that the remaining chefs need someone else to be offended by. The spinning wand comes to rest on Katzie, who now is on everyone's nerves for no apparent reason.
For today's Quickfire, the chefs are tasked with making their own candy bar for Gail and guest judge Pichet Ong. Yum! Orlando starts off as supercilious as ever, but when Rebecca's broken hand causes her to drop her desserts all over the floor, he redeems himself by spending his free time helping her get a new batch ready. Chris is fast becoming the overachiever of the group, and works hard to make not one candy bar, but a duo. When time runs out, Mathhew's unfinished bar sinks to the bottom of Pichet's list, along with Katzie's goopy, liquidy bar. Sally appeals to him with Asian flavors, and is joined in the top by Rebecca, who makes sure to thank Orlando for his assistance. Sally wins the challenge and immunity, which feels good after all the time she's spent at Losers' Table lately.
For the Elimination Challenge, get ready for a shock... The chefs are split into teams. TEAMS! Can you believe it? What's that you say? Every single Elimination Challenge so far has been a team challenge? Oh. Well, that's kind of anticlimactic, then. Seriously, it's time to let these people work individually. Anyhow, the teams are chosen randomly, and shake out to be:
Carlos/Sally/Amanda
Orlando/Chris/Matthew
Katzie/Rebecca/Megan
The challenge is to create refreshing treats for the crowd at a nearby waterpark. Naturally, this leads to a lot of ice cream and sorbet plans. Minor drama breaks out when Carlos hogs all the available ice cream machines. As befits the theme of this season so far, it never gets beyond some impatient sniping before everything is resolved into an organized list of whose turn it is next. As a group, I'm really enjoying these people's attitudes. Plus, Carlos gets his comeuppance when his machine hogging leads other teams to turn to liquid nitrogen that he desperately needs.
As with last week's edible room, this is one of those challenges that I wish I could attend as a guest, because the park's patrons obviously love augmenting their waterslide fun by getting nine free gourmet summer desserts. The judges work their way down the line, and manage to coin yet another annoying Catch-22, bringing the total number up to about six. In this case, Johnny rails against Amanda for preparing her funnel cakes ahead of time, because the taste and texture suffer, and she should have made them to order. He then takes Mathhew to task for taking two whole minutes to make his desserts on the spot, because oh my God he's been waiting two whole minutes for it. Criticizing chefs' mistakes is one of the tenets of this show, but when you pick a complaint, perhaps you should wait more than thirty seconds before arguing for the diametrically opposite point.
At Judges' Table, the Megan/Katzie/Rebecca team gets top marks, with Katzie winning her second Elimination Challenge in a row for her impressive spumoni. Huh, that sounds a lot more sexual than I intended. Everyone else is called to Losers' Table and each of them gets their own little personal critique before Amanda is axed for those pesky funnel cakes. Well, it's shame in the sense that she seems like a cool person, but as I'm the only citizen of America who detests funnel cake, it's nice to finally have some ammunition for my lonely battle.
Overall Grade: B-
Now that poor, unloved Melissa is off giving donuts the stinkeye somewhere else, it appears that the remaining chefs need someone else to be offended by. The spinning wand comes to rest on Katzie, who now is on everyone's nerves for no apparent reason.
For today's Quickfire, the chefs are tasked with making their own candy bar for Gail and guest judge Pichet Ong. Yum! Orlando starts off as supercilious as ever, but when Rebecca's broken hand causes her to drop her desserts all over the floor, he redeems himself by spending his free time helping her get a new batch ready. Chris is fast becoming the overachiever of the group, and works hard to make not one candy bar, but a duo. When time runs out, Mathhew's unfinished bar sinks to the bottom of Pichet's list, along with Katzie's goopy, liquidy bar. Sally appeals to him with Asian flavors, and is joined in the top by Rebecca, who makes sure to thank Orlando for his assistance. Sally wins the challenge and immunity, which feels good after all the time she's spent at Losers' Table lately.
For the Elimination Challenge, get ready for a shock... The chefs are split into teams. TEAMS! Can you believe it? What's that you say? Every single Elimination Challenge so far has been a team challenge? Oh. Well, that's kind of anticlimactic, then. Seriously, it's time to let these people work individually. Anyhow, the teams are chosen randomly, and shake out to be:
Carlos/Sally/Amanda
Orlando/Chris/Matthew
Katzie/Rebecca/Megan
The challenge is to create refreshing treats for the crowd at a nearby waterpark. Naturally, this leads to a lot of ice cream and sorbet plans. Minor drama breaks out when Carlos hogs all the available ice cream machines. As befits the theme of this season so far, it never gets beyond some impatient sniping before everything is resolved into an organized list of whose turn it is next. As a group, I'm really enjoying these people's attitudes. Plus, Carlos gets his comeuppance when his machine hogging leads other teams to turn to liquid nitrogen that he desperately needs.
As with last week's edible room, this is one of those challenges that I wish I could attend as a guest, because the park's patrons obviously love augmenting their waterslide fun by getting nine free gourmet summer desserts. The judges work their way down the line, and manage to coin yet another annoying Catch-22, bringing the total number up to about six. In this case, Johnny rails against Amanda for preparing her funnel cakes ahead of time, because the taste and texture suffer, and she should have made them to order. He then takes Mathhew to task for taking two whole minutes to make his desserts on the spot, because oh my God he's been waiting two whole minutes for it. Criticizing chefs' mistakes is one of the tenets of this show, but when you pick a complaint, perhaps you should wait more than thirty seconds before arguing for the diametrically opposite point.
At Judges' Table, the Megan/Katzie/Rebecca team gets top marks, with Katzie winning her second Elimination Challenge in a row for her impressive spumoni. Huh, that sounds a lot more sexual than I intended. Everyone else is called to Losers' Table and each of them gets their own little personal critique before Amanda is axed for those pesky funnel cakes. Well, it's shame in the sense that she seems like a cool person, but as I'm the only citizen of America who detests funnel cake, it's nice to finally have some ammunition for my lonely battle.
Overall Grade: B-
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Scrumdiddlyumptious
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 4
Honestly, I'm shocked. At a couple of things. I'm shocked that it took this long for Just Desserts to put together a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory tie-in. I'm shocked at how pleased I was to see this week's guests. And I'm shocked by how well this episode was put together, and how enjoyable it was.
The producers knew exactly how special this week was going to be, choosing to dispense with the Quickfire entirely so that they can focus on this gem of an Elimination Challenge. In order to celebrate the fortieth anniversary of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -- Forty years?!? Yikes! -- the chefs are taken to a special screening of it. Having seen the special features on the Wonka DVD, I recognize the chefs' fellow moviegoers, but they do not. It's the original cast of kids, minus one Augustus Gloop, who probably didn't feel like wandering over from Europe for this.
The chefs are then thrown straight into the Elimination Challenge, in which they must work as one big team to transform the dining room into an edible wonderland straight out of the movie's showpiece scene. As proof that you don't need to cast psychotic weirdos in order to generate good television, a game plan is agreed upon, everyone does their best to pull their weight, and it's still fascinating.
All sorts of extremely clever ideas are put into practice (or at least clever adaptations of the movie's existing ideas), from Katzie's "carrot" cakes and honey-dripping beehive, to Carlos' lickable wallpaper, to Chris' supervision and construction of a working chocolate waterfall. Johnny interrupts the process to announce that two chefs will be eliminated tonight, which has the chefs scrambling to put their individual stamp on as many desserts as possible.
I've never wanted to be at a Just Desserts tasting more as when the Wonka kids (along with some actual kids) are turned loose in the finished room to go nuts. Apart from getting all sorts of delightful treats, it just looks super-fun. When the event is over, Katzie, Carlos, and Matt are declared the top three, with Katzie taking a very deserved win for her underground cakes and edible beehive.
Meanwhile, Sally's gritty, ugly "dirt", Melissa's abominable donuts, Dr. Teeth's lackluster gummi bears, and Megan's disappointing bourbon cake get them shunted to the bottom. The top three chefs admirably stick up for Megan, stressing that her dessert may have suffered because she spent most of her time busting ass to help other chefs and ensuring the room as a whole turned out well. Johnny is a bit smarmy about this, but thankfully, appears to take it into consideration. After the deliberations, the judges finally, finally axe Dr. Teeth. About three episodes late, in my estimation, but better late than never. Poor, unloved Melissa also gets her walking papers, so it looks like we're getting down to the real competition now.
Overall Grade: A
Honestly, I'm shocked. At a couple of things. I'm shocked that it took this long for Just Desserts to put together a Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory tie-in. I'm shocked at how pleased I was to see this week's guests. And I'm shocked by how well this episode was put together, and how enjoyable it was.
The producers knew exactly how special this week was going to be, choosing to dispense with the Quickfire entirely so that they can focus on this gem of an Elimination Challenge. In order to celebrate the fortieth anniversary of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory -- Forty years?!? Yikes! -- the chefs are taken to a special screening of it. Having seen the special features on the Wonka DVD, I recognize the chefs' fellow moviegoers, but they do not. It's the original cast of kids, minus one Augustus Gloop, who probably didn't feel like wandering over from Europe for this.
The chefs are then thrown straight into the Elimination Challenge, in which they must work as one big team to transform the dining room into an edible wonderland straight out of the movie's showpiece scene. As proof that you don't need to cast psychotic weirdos in order to generate good television, a game plan is agreed upon, everyone does their best to pull their weight, and it's still fascinating.
All sorts of extremely clever ideas are put into practice (or at least clever adaptations of the movie's existing ideas), from Katzie's "carrot" cakes and honey-dripping beehive, to Carlos' lickable wallpaper, to Chris' supervision and construction of a working chocolate waterfall. Johnny interrupts the process to announce that two chefs will be eliminated tonight, which has the chefs scrambling to put their individual stamp on as many desserts as possible.
I've never wanted to be at a Just Desserts tasting more as when the Wonka kids (along with some actual kids) are turned loose in the finished room to go nuts. Apart from getting all sorts of delightful treats, it just looks super-fun. When the event is over, Katzie, Carlos, and Matt are declared the top three, with Katzie taking a very deserved win for her underground cakes and edible beehive.
Meanwhile, Sally's gritty, ugly "dirt", Melissa's abominable donuts, Dr. Teeth's lackluster gummi bears, and Megan's disappointing bourbon cake get them shunted to the bottom. The top three chefs admirably stick up for Megan, stressing that her dessert may have suffered because she spent most of her time busting ass to help other chefs and ensuring the room as a whole turned out well. Johnny is a bit smarmy about this, but thankfully, appears to take it into consideration. After the deliberations, the judges finally, finally axe Dr. Teeth. About three episodes late, in my estimation, but better late than never. Poor, unloved Melissa also gets her walking papers, so it looks like we're getting down to the real competition now.
Overall Grade: A
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The Beverly Hillbillies
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 3
I've never been a fan of television "synergy". Not the word, which strikes me as one of those obnoxious corporate buzz phrases that threatened to consume us in the '80s, and not the convention, which shoehorns people into situations in which they simply do not belong. Tonight is no exception, and only magnifies Bravo's problem of having precisely one watchable franchise.
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs are asked to make a mini-dessert that will be entered into a public vote that will perhaps inspire a new gum flavor. Wooooooooooooooooooooo! Realizing that this prize won't exactly get the chefs jazzed about their work, Gail offers a cool twenty-five grand to the winning contestant, in addition to the usual immunity. That does the trick. Everyone gives it their all, and several delightful little tiny treats are presented. Rebecca, Melissa, and Matthew fall to the bottom three of guest judge Hugh Acheson's list, while Carlos, Nelson, and Dr. Teeth (that'd be Craig - whose giant chompers, zany voice, and ill-advised facial hair all scream Muppet) get top marks. Dr. Teeth pulls down the win and immunity, and crows about going shopping, which leads to a shot of a very frustrated Carlos, who wanted to put some of that scratch away for his kids' college education.
That's about it for the entertaining part of tonight's episode, as the Elimination Challenge slides into the hated synergy mentioned above. See, the reason I watch Top Chef and not The Real Housewives is because I like Top Chef and don't like The Real Housewives. See how that works? Does Bravo think that by forcing the latter into the former that I'll become a fan of these vapid whores? No sale. So, the challenge doesn't even really matter, as it's just as contrived and pointless as any Real Housewives episode. Suffice it to say that the chefs will be split into two teams and will put together a giant dessert presentation to impress people that we're all asked to pretend have a modicum of class, taste, or sophistication. As winner of the Quickfire, Dr. Teeth gets to select team captains, and he chooses himself and Amanda. They alternate choices, and the teams shake out to be:
Dr. Teeth/Sally/Matthew/Orlando/Nelson/Rebecca
Amanda/Chris/Carlos/Megan/Katzie/Melissa
Poor Melissa is chosen last yet again, and despite her protestations, you can tell that her psyche is started to get a little damaged by the unpopularity. A suggestion by Closet Case Husband #7B that Botoxed Shallow Wife #16F enjoys the color pink leads to both teams' presentations appearing as if the Barbie factory just exploded. Aside from that, both tables are actually quite nice. The desserts are presented to the judges, and a panel of various Botoxed Shallow Wives, Purse Dog #4B, Closet Case Husband #7B, and Entitled Brat #23P.
After the desserts are consumed and the presumable off-screen break so everyone can purge, Amanda's team is declared the winner. Actually, "Chris'" team is declared the winner, I guess because he explained the team's concept to the panel. Still, ouch. On the losing team, Matthew, Orlando, and Rebecca did good enough work to save them from the chop, which leaves Dr. Teeth, Nelson, and Sally up for elimination. Or rather, Nelson and Sally, because the judges did not eliminate Dr. Teeth when they had the chance, and despite making the worst dessert of the day, and being a terrible team leader, he's got that Quickfire immunity tonight. He's dismissed, but not before Johnny makes sure to tell him that he'd be looking at the business end of an elimination if he hadn't won the Quickfire.
Back in the Kitchen, Dr. Teeth whines about Johnny's criticism, which nobody else wants to hear, since no matter what happens, the rules of the game have brought about the end of someone who's far more talented than he is. I guess I can't fault him for not giving up his immunity and throwing himself on the sword, although everyone both on-screen and off dearly wishes he would. Instead, the judges shrug their shoulders and axe Nelson. You see what horrors this goddamned synergy brings about?
Overall Grade: C
I've never been a fan of television "synergy". Not the word, which strikes me as one of those obnoxious corporate buzz phrases that threatened to consume us in the '80s, and not the convention, which shoehorns people into situations in which they simply do not belong. Tonight is no exception, and only magnifies Bravo's problem of having precisely one watchable franchise.
In tonight's Quickfire, the chefs are asked to make a mini-dessert that will be entered into a public vote that will perhaps inspire a new gum flavor. Wooooooooooooooooooooo! Realizing that this prize won't exactly get the chefs jazzed about their work, Gail offers a cool twenty-five grand to the winning contestant, in addition to the usual immunity. That does the trick. Everyone gives it their all, and several delightful little tiny treats are presented. Rebecca, Melissa, and Matthew fall to the bottom three of guest judge Hugh Acheson's list, while Carlos, Nelson, and Dr. Teeth (that'd be Craig - whose giant chompers, zany voice, and ill-advised facial hair all scream Muppet) get top marks. Dr. Teeth pulls down the win and immunity, and crows about going shopping, which leads to a shot of a very frustrated Carlos, who wanted to put some of that scratch away for his kids' college education.
That's about it for the entertaining part of tonight's episode, as the Elimination Challenge slides into the hated synergy mentioned above. See, the reason I watch Top Chef and not The Real Housewives is because I like Top Chef and don't like The Real Housewives. See how that works? Does Bravo think that by forcing the latter into the former that I'll become a fan of these vapid whores? No sale. So, the challenge doesn't even really matter, as it's just as contrived and pointless as any Real Housewives episode. Suffice it to say that the chefs will be split into two teams and will put together a giant dessert presentation to impress people that we're all asked to pretend have a modicum of class, taste, or sophistication. As winner of the Quickfire, Dr. Teeth gets to select team captains, and he chooses himself and Amanda. They alternate choices, and the teams shake out to be:
Dr. Teeth/Sally/Matthew/Orlando/Nelson/Rebecca
Amanda/Chris/Carlos/Megan/Katzie/Melissa
Poor Melissa is chosen last yet again, and despite her protestations, you can tell that her psyche is started to get a little damaged by the unpopularity. A suggestion by Closet Case Husband #7B that Botoxed Shallow Wife #16F enjoys the color pink leads to both teams' presentations appearing as if the Barbie factory just exploded. Aside from that, both tables are actually quite nice. The desserts are presented to the judges, and a panel of various Botoxed Shallow Wives, Purse Dog #4B, Closet Case Husband #7B, and Entitled Brat #23P.
After the desserts are consumed and the presumable off-screen break so everyone can purge, Amanda's team is declared the winner. Actually, "Chris'" team is declared the winner, I guess because he explained the team's concept to the panel. Still, ouch. On the losing team, Matthew, Orlando, and Rebecca did good enough work to save them from the chop, which leaves Dr. Teeth, Nelson, and Sally up for elimination. Or rather, Nelson and Sally, because the judges did not eliminate Dr. Teeth when they had the chance, and despite making the worst dessert of the day, and being a terrible team leader, he's got that Quickfire immunity tonight. He's dismissed, but not before Johnny makes sure to tell him that he'd be looking at the business end of an elimination if he hadn't won the Quickfire.
Back in the Kitchen, Dr. Teeth whines about Johnny's criticism, which nobody else wants to hear, since no matter what happens, the rules of the game have brought about the end of someone who's far more talented than he is. I guess I can't fault him for not giving up his immunity and throwing himself on the sword, although everyone both on-screen and off dearly wishes he would. Instead, the judges shrug their shoulders and axe Nelson. You see what horrors this goddamned synergy brings about?
Overall Grade: C
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Bittersweet Symphony
Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 2, Episode 2
We begin tonight's episode with Rebecca suddenly incurring a disabling hand injury. I don't know if the viewing party was busy filling our wineglasses, and just wasn't paying enough attention, or if the show really didn't explain how it happened, but it just kind of comes out of nowhere. She's bandaged up, and hopes for the best in the upcoming challenges.
Tonight's Quickfire is a good one. Gimmicks are fine once in a while, but I tend to enjoy challenges that are simply "Take this basic ingredient, and do whatever you like with it". In this case, it's lemons. That makes it doubly exciting, because I happen to love lemon desserts, so the Kitchen is soon filled with concoctions that have me scratching at the screen.
Nelson, Orlando, and Amanda fall to the bottom of guest judge Margaret Braun's list, mostly due to flavor combinations that she doesn't happen to be a fan of. Matthew, Katzie, and Carlos take the top spots, with Matthew winning the challenge and its attendant immunity.
In the Elimination Challenge, the chefs are split into four teams, which are picked by captains:
Red: Matthew, Chris, Megan, and Melissa
Green: Carlos, Sally, and Rebecca
Black: Orlando, Nelson, and Craig
Blue: Amanda, Katzie, and Vanarin
Melissa is picked last - she's fairly unpopular these days, due to her attack on Lina last week. Honestly, she does seem to be a somewhat unpleasant person, but let's not pretend that anything she said about Lina was untrue. Orlando has issues picking anyone as awesome as he is. Apparently, being in the bottom of two out of three challenges is our benchmark for quality these days.
The teams will be making cakes to serve the 150 orchestra members at the iconic concert hall in LA, and each chef is responsible for his or her own individual tier. Three of the teams hum along quite harmoniously in terms of teamwork, even if not all of their creative ideas are the best. The fourth team contains Orlando, so...
When all is said and done, the Green and Red teams wind up on top, so once again, the team with the extra pair of hands was able to accomplish better things. What a shock! The Red team takes the win, and I hope the victory is achievement enough, because they don't get anything for it. At Losers' Table, the Black team is rightfully blasted for creating three tiers that have absolutely no relation to one another, while the Blue team crammed too many details onto their cake, resulting in a sloppy mess (though not the worst mess we've ever seen).
Despite the fact that this is an opportune time to jettison Craig, who's so clearly out of his depth that he should be wearing floaties, the judges cut Vanarin for his disappointing flavor and amateur decoration work. It's a shame, but becomes less of one when he complains in his final interview about how he "didn't have an opportunity" to show what he can really do. I'm pretty sure you did, chief. You just didn't do it well.
Overall Grade: B
We begin tonight's episode with Rebecca suddenly incurring a disabling hand injury. I don't know if the viewing party was busy filling our wineglasses, and just wasn't paying enough attention, or if the show really didn't explain how it happened, but it just kind of comes out of nowhere. She's bandaged up, and hopes for the best in the upcoming challenges.
Tonight's Quickfire is a good one. Gimmicks are fine once in a while, but I tend to enjoy challenges that are simply "Take this basic ingredient, and do whatever you like with it". In this case, it's lemons. That makes it doubly exciting, because I happen to love lemon desserts, so the Kitchen is soon filled with concoctions that have me scratching at the screen.
Nelson, Orlando, and Amanda fall to the bottom of guest judge Margaret Braun's list, mostly due to flavor combinations that she doesn't happen to be a fan of. Matthew, Katzie, and Carlos take the top spots, with Matthew winning the challenge and its attendant immunity.
In the Elimination Challenge, the chefs are split into four teams, which are picked by captains:
Red: Matthew, Chris, Megan, and Melissa
Green: Carlos, Sally, and Rebecca
Black: Orlando, Nelson, and Craig
Blue: Amanda, Katzie, and Vanarin
Melissa is picked last - she's fairly unpopular these days, due to her attack on Lina last week. Honestly, she does seem to be a somewhat unpleasant person, but let's not pretend that anything she said about Lina was untrue. Orlando has issues picking anyone as awesome as he is. Apparently, being in the bottom of two out of three challenges is our benchmark for quality these days.
The teams will be making cakes to serve the 150 orchestra members at the iconic concert hall in LA, and each chef is responsible for his or her own individual tier. Three of the teams hum along quite harmoniously in terms of teamwork, even if not all of their creative ideas are the best. The fourth team contains Orlando, so...
When all is said and done, the Green and Red teams wind up on top, so once again, the team with the extra pair of hands was able to accomplish better things. What a shock! The Red team takes the win, and I hope the victory is achievement enough, because they don't get anything for it. At Losers' Table, the Black team is rightfully blasted for creating three tiers that have absolutely no relation to one another, while the Blue team crammed too many details onto their cake, resulting in a sloppy mess (though not the worst mess we've ever seen).
Despite the fact that this is an opportune time to jettison Craig, who's so clearly out of his depth that he should be wearing floaties, the judges cut Vanarin for his disappointing flavor and amateur decoration work. It's a shame, but becomes less of one when he complains in his final interview about how he "didn't have an opportunity" to show what he can really do. I'm pretty sure you did, chief. You just didn't do it well.
Overall Grade: B
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Fairy Tale...Ending
Top Chef: Just Desserts: Season 2, Episode 1
Well, we're back for a new season of pastry, and at first glance, it appears the producers have learned a valuable lesson about casting. That is, that it perhaps isn't the wisest idea to recruit your contestant pool from the Cuckoo's Nest Ward over at the local asylum. The new group of fourteen chefs naturally has its fair share of obnoxious people you'd cheerfully push into a kiddie pool full of alpaca droppings, but at least everybody appears to have all their marbles. Oh, and Johnny has dropped a bunch of weight.
In the first Quickfire, the chefs are immediately thrown into pairs, the better to bring their personality disorders to the surface right away. The pairs are tasked with making a modern soda fountain treat. Orlando/Megan and Craig/Lina sink to the bottom, more for unoriginal ideas than for bad food, which is a promising sign as far as talent goes. The Carlos/Rebecca and Amanda/Nelson teams take the top two spots, with Amanda and Nelson winning the challenge and its attendant immunity.
For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs are thrown into teams yet again. Evil. This time, the teams are given famous fairy tales, and are told to create a showpiece and two plated desserts that represent each story. Nerves fray almost immediately. Restraining one's ego to work with other people with input and opinions is, like, so hard and stuff!
Matthew/Amanda/Carlos/Chris do great sugar work for "Little Red Riding Hood" and Rebecca/Sally/Orlando/Nelson make a lovely architectural showpiece for "Goldilocks and the Three Bears", so these two teams go to Winners' Circle, with the former team winning the challenge. Once they're done not getting anything for their win, Katzie/Craig/Megan and Melissa/Vanarin/Lina trudge out to Losers' Table. Huh, it's almost as if the teams with four people were able to get more and better work done with an extra pair of hands! Weird!
That's not to say that these two teams don't deserve to be at Losers' Table, because ugh. The showpiece that Katzie and Megan put together for "Jack and the Beanstalk" has a bunch of flaws and cracks, and Craig mostly just runs around being useless. Melissa/Vanarin/Lina have "Hansel and Gretel", which has a dessert inspiration WRITTEN INTO THE STORY that Lina chooses to ignore in favor of making a giant, ugly cake house, then lies about at Judges' Table. It doesn't work, she gets booted, and all is right with the world.
Overall Grade: B+
Well, we're back for a new season of pastry, and at first glance, it appears the producers have learned a valuable lesson about casting. That is, that it perhaps isn't the wisest idea to recruit your contestant pool from the Cuckoo's Nest Ward over at the local asylum. The new group of fourteen chefs naturally has its fair share of obnoxious people you'd cheerfully push into a kiddie pool full of alpaca droppings, but at least everybody appears to have all their marbles. Oh, and Johnny has dropped a bunch of weight.
In the first Quickfire, the chefs are immediately thrown into pairs, the better to bring their personality disorders to the surface right away. The pairs are tasked with making a modern soda fountain treat. Orlando/Megan and Craig/Lina sink to the bottom, more for unoriginal ideas than for bad food, which is a promising sign as far as talent goes. The Carlos/Rebecca and Amanda/Nelson teams take the top two spots, with Amanda and Nelson winning the challenge and its attendant immunity.
For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs are thrown into teams yet again. Evil. This time, the teams are given famous fairy tales, and are told to create a showpiece and two plated desserts that represent each story. Nerves fray almost immediately. Restraining one's ego to work with other people with input and opinions is, like, so hard and stuff!
Matthew/Amanda/Carlos/Chris do great sugar work for "Little Red Riding Hood" and Rebecca/Sally/Orlando/Nelson make a lovely architectural showpiece for "Goldilocks and the Three Bears", so these two teams go to Winners' Circle, with the former team winning the challenge. Once they're done not getting anything for their win, Katzie/Craig/Megan and Melissa/Vanarin/Lina trudge out to Losers' Table. Huh, it's almost as if the teams with four people were able to get more and better work done with an extra pair of hands! Weird!
That's not to say that these two teams don't deserve to be at Losers' Table, because ugh. The showpiece that Katzie and Megan put together for "Jack and the Beanstalk" has a bunch of flaws and cracks, and Craig mostly just runs around being useless. Melissa/Vanarin/Lina have "Hansel and Gretel", which has a dessert inspiration WRITTEN INTO THE STORY that Lina chooses to ignore in favor of making a giant, ugly cake house, then lies about at Judges' Table. It doesn't work, she gets booted, and all is right with the world.
Overall Grade: B+
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