What's Your Line

Project Runway - Season 2, Episode 11

Previously on Project Runway: The designers were told to make each other over. Tension flared between Nick and Santino, and both of them were kind of assy about it, which made picking a side pretty difficult. On the runway, Santino tried to cajole Kara into defending a jumpsuit that was literally falling off, and while she didn't, she really felt bad about leaving Santino hanging. Chloe's suit for Nick took home the win, while Nick's suit for (apparently) Margaret Thatcher got him punted. Four designers remain. Who will be out tonight?

Opening credits. Tim Gunn is implacable. Peddle your booty shakin' elsewhere, nameless girl.

Atlas. Once again, we first leap to Chloe for an after-ejection commentary, which seems to happen every week. I'm not complaining; it just seems kind of weird, because of all the designers, Chloe is literally the only one with no connection to Nick's ouster. Anyhow, she disagrees with the decision, saying Santino got lucky again. Kara is equally disdainful, saying something about how Santino would kill his young to get to the final three. I'd be interested to see what Santino's young would act like. Seriously, add a child's normally overblown sense of entitlement to having Santino as a father. *shiver* Things aren't any jollier over in the men's room. The normally neutral Danzzz is furious that Santino's posturing got Nick ejected (which may be sort of true, but let's not forget that Nick's suit was awfully sucky), and Santino is moping on the bed, apparently shaving his crotch. Hey, I just report what I see, people. He interviews that everybody has contempt for him, but he's here to win, and blah blah blah. Can we get another record in the Santino jukebox, please?

Runway. Heidi enters to explain the next challenge, which will determine the three finalists who will go to Fashion Week. The designers are told to create an evening gown, and said gown should represent the collection that the designer would show if chosen as a finalist. Before we get to that, though, it's time once more for the Pointless Model Selection. No tears and emotional good-byes this time. Chloe naturally sticks with Grace, and Friendless, Gumby-Legged Rachael finally makes her exit. Nobody cares. Heidi sends the designers off, and Tim meets them in the workroom. He tells them they're going on a field trip to meet Fern Mallis, the woman in charge of Fashion Week. Hey, good idea. Everyone's pleased to hear it. They head over to her office. Santino asks her if people are more likely to remember clothes they love or clothes they hate. Fern says that the people looking at the collections are trained to concentrate on the good stuff. Danzzz asks for examples of mistakes that beginners make. Fern replies that it's very important to be nice. Danzzz gives Santino a look so pointed, you could kill a vampire with it. Fern goes on to say that you'll never win people over being the nasty, vicious type. Santino has his typical "You can't be nice all the time! I'm here to win!" answer for this. Oh my God. WE GET IT!

Santino has a very strange dichotomy. At times, he seems like the only competitor who realizes that there are two sets of contests going: the runway contest and the Make-A-Splash-On-TV contest. He knows how to balance both; how to design clothing that'll get people talking, and how to play to the cameras and be a brat so that people will love to hate him. That practically guarantees that they'll keep him around longer. I won't deny that that's shrewd. But at other times, he appears to be an insecure, deluded jerkoff, without a speck of self-awareness. He'll whine that he doesn't want to be nice; he wants to win. Why one necessarily follows the other is never explained. He'll brag in interviews about being hated, then whine to the other designers about how nobody likes him. Sometimes it's amusing and sometimes it's tiresome, but he's a tough guy to understand, and his schtick is starting to wear pretty thin, especially in this episode.

Fern sends them on their way, and back at the workroom, Tim gives them an hour to sketch. Chloe's idea is 1940s Hollywood glamour. Always a nice idea for an evening gown. Danzzz mentions a high slit and flowing fabric, and talks about his reputation for being body-conscious. Of course, that must lead directly to a shot of Santino, who ranks "comfort of my model" slightly below "plight of endangered boll weevils" on his priority list. His theme is very glitzy and artistic, as always. Kara is not used to making evening wear, so she isn't certain what she wants to do. They have $300 and two days, including an hour to shop. Danzzz gets some very pretty dark blue fabric. Santino grabs gold chiffon with gold paillettes hanging all over it. Chloe describes the type of jersey she wants for a clerk. Kara is still wandering around aimlessly. In the workroom, Chloe and Danzzz throw some advice her way about what she could do, shape-wise, but she's still very anxious. I don't quite understand. Haven't most of the designs this season been pretty similar to "evening wear"? Maybe nothing's been a ballgown proper, but how is making a ballgown that different from making other dresses? It's like saying you know how to make scrambled eggs, but not omelets. Kara tells Santino that she likes the fabric he picked up, and he interviews that he's basically ignoring her, because it's about "executing [his] creative vision" now. Oh, so he's not just being a dick. Gotcha. The three designers who are still talking to each other chat about how nervewracking it is to be so close to the final three, but know that someone's getting cut. Yeah, it'd be rough to be the last one cut. Santino says something jerky, the others tell him he's rude - blah, blah blah. This is one joyless episode.

People work. Santino wants to win. They leave for the day. It's as exciting as it sounds. A full, yellow moon brings us back to the Atlas. There's a note on the chalkboard from Nick wishing Danzzz luck. Santino complains that Nick got really fickle (read: "wouldn't let me push him around anymore") toward the end and had made some comment about Santino's jumpsuit and its poor quality. Danzzz tells him, basically "well, duh - it was falling off". Santino tries to fight with Danzzz about how wonderful his clothing is, but Danzzz's not buying. You can actually pinpoint the moment that Santino loses the argument when he starts spewing "whatevers" (count: 4) instead of making any viable points, because he knows he doesn't have any. He stalks off to bed. Commercials.

We return on a shot of a statue's hands in a pose that makes it appear that it's praying to God. Maybe he's praying that the rest of this episode won't suck as hard. He's going to be disappointed. Oh, good. Here's another interview from Santino about how Danzzz is full of shit and just jealous. And again, I'm sure he's totally right. Danzzz is probably cringing with envy over the fact that Santino has won half as many challenges as he has. See what I mean about the dichotomy? Surely Santino isn't this blinded by his own wonderfulness. How can he be? Danzzz hopes the judges will finally recognize what a one-trick pony Santino is. Good luck with that, Danzzz. Everyone heads to the workroom. Tim enters, and you can tell how much tension there is in the room, just by watching the change in Tim's demeanor when he comes in. He can feel it. Kara is still atwitter, and not in the calm way she was in "Flower Power". Someone has written "I [heart] red" in giant bubble letters on the chalkboard. Ummmmm. OK. Danzzz seems to know exactly what he's doing, but confounds me in an interview by saying that not just twenty-year-olds can have sophistication; so can fifty-year-olds. Er...thanks, Danzzz. I'm sure those over-the-hill women appreciate your approval. I know when I look for a lady of sophistication, I always turn to the ones who haven't hit the drinking age yet. Tim is confused by the seam on Chloe's dress. From the glimpses we see of it now, he's got a point, but we'll come to that at the judging. Santino's silhouette looks good, but he has a lot of work to do on the attachments.

Tim gathers them for an announcement. He says that they'll continue to design with their original ideas, but that supermodel Iman will figure into the challenge now. Everyone's thrilled. Iman will be the guest judge and will wear the winning gown at some upcoming red carpet event. The designers are really pumped; especially Santino, who feels that the color and style of his gown would fit Iman very well. Danzzz, already anxious about the elimination, is now even more nervous. He really wants to get to Fashion Week, because it'd be such a great jumpstart for his career. Chloe says that she's still questioning if she wants it. She's already lived the life of a New York fashion designer, and interviews that it's a rough one. Danzzz and Santino jump down her throat. Everyone gets back to work, and Tim drops by again with a little more than three hours to go. He says that he's taking them on a field trip. Nobody's glad to hear that, because they've got so much work still to do. He takes them to a club called Suede. Supposedly, it's about 9:00 PM, but the sun is still setting. And who meets them at Suede? Heidi! And their models! And Michael Kors! And three of the final four from Season 1: Austin, Kara Saun, and winner (and bitchy guest judge) Jay McCarroll! Heh, I like how Nina couldn't be bothered to come. Oh, and that the designers are still in their casual work clothes, and look really unprepared for a party.

The party does look pretty fun, and it's nice to take a step back from all the crap that's been flung at us so far. Kara Saun warns Danzzz to keep his eye on the ball, so to speak, because the last challenge is the one where all the fatigue catches up with you, and you're more prone to screwups. Jay tells Santino about how the Season 1 crew bombed their last challenge, and when Santino responds that he thinks he's got a pretty good shot at advancing, Jay tells him he hopes Santino gets canned. I'd love to give him an "ooh, you go girl!" or something for that, but he's obviously so pleased with himself that it's kind of sickening. Austin flames around awesomely. Kara Saun talks about the exposure the designers are getting with Chloe, Kara, and Eden, who's towering over them all. Heh. Michael talks about how exciting it is to be a judge and toasts the hard work the designers have done. Aw, I like Nice Michael. Cheers! Commercials.

When we return, the designers go back to the workroom, and Tim gives them some extra time to finish their dresses. Kara worries about her dress puckering. Santino thinks he'll go through just because his dress is so different from everyone else's. Not a bad argument. Danzzz thinks Santino's is too over-the-top, and Chloe brags that she knows a lot about gowns. Just like how Andrae bragged about how comfortable he was with the plant design, and Nick bragged about how good he was with menswear. You'd better watch yourself, Chloe. Time runs out, and the designers go back to the Atlas. Kara and Chloe mumble about how weird Santino's dress is, while Santino blasts Danzzz for "playing it safe". Danzzz (very diplomatically, under the circumstances) says that he just does what he can do. Santino tells him he likes the dress Danzzz made, and Danzzz makes an awesome face that's equal parts "Oh...THANKS, your Majesty" and "Did Santino just pay someone else a compliment?". Morning. Kara interviews that Chloe isn't very excited about this challenge, and questions how much she wants to go to Fashion Week. Jeez, maybe she's just nervous. No need to dissect her psyche, Kara.

At the workroom, Santino refuses to spend four seconds helping Kara move a dress form, because that will somehow lead to his loss in the challenge. Dick. Kara calls him a dick. Hey, she's reading my mind! Cool. Tim comes in, and there's that wary "how's everyone doing?" again, because you can slice the air with a knife by this point. Tim tells Chloe he's disappointed in her dress, because it outlines and hugs the butt too much. Chloe says that's what she was going for, so Tim tells her to be prepared to defend a dress that makes it look like the model has a big, fat ass. I love Tim. Kara is still ambivalent about parts of her design, which makes Tim sigh "Oh, Kara" in a very disappointed Dad sort of voice. That voice makes me cringe. That voice makes anyone with parents cringe, because it forces recollections of past embarrassments upon you. Anyway, he recommends finding a way to use a sash. In fact, he admonishes everyone but Santino for being kind of boring, but then blasts Santino's for looking too costumey. The models come in, and start getting made up and fitted. Danzzz very wisely tells the makeup artist not to go too wild, because the look has to be relatable to Iman. Santino councils Heather on moving her hips so that the fabric flows well. Chloe interviews AGAIN about how much she wants to advance to Fashion Week. Tim comes in to get everyone. Heather's hair is still in rollers. Commercials.

Heidi welcomes everyone to the runway. I didn't mention it before, but she's gotten a haircut that I don't like as much as her longer hair. Boo! The judges will be Michael Kors, Nina Garcia, and of course, Iman. Let's start the show. First up is Eden, in Kara's dress. It's pretty, but boring. It's a simple long, sleeveless, black dress. It's low cut, and I see Kara has found a way to use the sash by putting it around the waist so that it flows out in the back. The outfit may have looked better if it had some color to it. Next is Heather in Santino's dress. It's certainly different. It's gold fabric with panels of gold paillettes sewn on in a swooping pattern on the skirt, and a matching swoop of paiettes at the bustline. I know it has nothing to do with the outfit, but Heather's hair looks really, really good. As to the outfit itself, I agree with Tim that it's overly dramatic, but it's at least eye-catching. I kind of like it. Grace, in Chloe's dress. I'm dumsquizzled. Chloe has made a pretty good, if not downright wonderful outfit in every single challenge so far. This? Sucks. The fabric appears to be pale silver, which is all wrong for Grace. The seam clearly outlines the stomach and butt, making them both look big. Skinny Grace looks almost pregnant in this thing. There's a regrettable bow in the front, and while I like the open back Chloe designed, this dress is not pretty. Finally, Rebecca, in Danzzz's dress. It's nice. This is kind of what Kara's dress would have looked like, with some color. Except this one has a slit cut up on one leg to reveal some skin, which looks very nice. The back is a crisscross. Again, pretty, but unremarkable. Wow, Kara Saun and Jay weren't kidding when they warned about the Final Challenge crash.

The designers step onto the runway as the judges tally their scores. The models emerge. We'll start with Kara. Iman tells her it needs a steaming. Ew, yeah. It is kind of wrinkly. The judges also feel that the dress is too narrow, and that the hemline is uneven. They praise the dress that Kara herself is wearing (and designed) over the one she's designed for the challenge. In other words: uh, oh. She doesn't defend it very well, and Nina tells her that this was her opportunity to impress the judges with a sample of what her collection would be. Kara nods. She knows she's blown it. Danzzz. Iman thinks it's a nice dress, but not very special. Nina goes on the offense again, calling it too safe, to the point of being boring. I can't disagree. Santino. They ask what his inspiration is. He comes up with some blather that's not worth repeating. And here comes Nina again. She says it's certainly creative, but once again, Santino's crossed the line from creative to joke. It's not elegant enough. Iman semi-agrees, but you can tell she's pretty intrigued by him. Wow, Michael hasn't said a word yet. Oh, here he is. He captures my heart by saying "Listen, I understand the bad boy thing. I GOT IT." My hero. He goes on to completely peg Santino as thinking he's very above the judges. Chloe. Michael points out some sewing problems, and says it's not as wearable as the other things she's made.

Heidi asks Chloe who among the designers doesn't deserve to go to Fashion Week. Yikes. Here's where I'd panic if I were on this show. They're forcing them to be mean, which I'd be extremely uncomfortable with. Shut up. I know, I'm mean here, but trust me - I'm very polite in my face-to-face interactions. In real life, you'd have no idea if I didn't like you. In any case, I fully expect a Santino pile-on here. Indeed, Chloe does choose Santino for his construction problems. Santino chooses her right back for not being creative. Danzzz. He chooses Chloe. WHAAAAAAAT? I'm shocked. His reasoning is actually pretty sound; that she's already got an established business, and the other three need the catalyst of Fashion Week more than she does. Still, I'm blown away that he'd sell her out to the judges. Kara jumps on the bandwagon as well, also picking Chloe. Man, that's harsh. Heidi asks Chloe how she feels about this, and if she really wants to go to Fashion Week. It's about here that my heart seized, because people on America's Next Top Model get cut all the time for "not wanting it enough", as if the judges could reliably assess that. Chloe responds that she wouldn't have gone through all of these challenges if she didn't want it, and really, judges? DUH. The designers are sent off, and Chloe interviews about how betrayed she feels. No kidding. The judges go into their deliberations. They're underwhelmed by everyone's dresses. Heidi jumps on the butt problem in Chloe's dress. Santino's was interesting, but over-the-top. Kara's was unmemorable. Danzzz's was pretty, but too simple. Iman is completely charming and articulate through the whole thing. She's nifty. Heidi calls the designers back out.

This week's fun trivia tidbit to avoid tiresome, repetitive show dialogue: As I said a while back, I'm certainly willing to give Top Chef a shot. However, I should point out to BRAVO that this episode of Project Runway, which features the most assholish behavior so far, is also getting the lowest grade so far. Upon meeting the Top Chef contestants during this past commercial break, you've made me extremely skeptical. Twelve assholes. Wait, that's not fair. It's actually a weenie, a dumb slut, a hippie, eight assholes, and one extremely spazzy asshole. Now, instead of me starting with high hopes and giving you the benefit of the doubt, you're going to have to win me over. Hope you're up to the task.

Elimination time. Santino is in. The winner of the challenge is Danzzz. Wow, he must be even more jealous of Santino now. That leaves a final two of Chloe and Kara, and it's genuinely suspenseful. I've been suspecting that Kara was on the chopping block for a long time now, but all this talk about if Chloe really wants to be there, combined with her lackluster dress made me wonder if they were setting us up for her elimination. Kara failed the challenge in regards to showcasing her abilities. Chloe doesn't have enough passion. Heidi calls Kara's name, which is usually followed by a "you're in", leaving the eliminated one alone. But she shiftily pulls the rug out from under me. "Kara...I'm sorry, you're out." Chloe is still in the running. Kara tells the judges it's been incredible, and thanks them for the experience. She hugs everyone backstage, including Tim, who tells them that they're all winners. That's sweet. She interviews that she played it a little too safe, but plans to pursue her business wholeheartedly. She blows us a kiss as the lights go out. Aw. Right back atcha, Janx.

There's a little post-script to the episode as we see Iman wearing Danzzz's dress at some Elle event. She looks gorgeous. Danzzz's hair looks weird.

Next week on Project Runway: The reunion special. Santino didn't come on the show to make friends, which is officially the most tired statement a reality show contestant can make, bar none. Chloe doesn't want to discuss something. Raymundo is invited to be on the show, for some reason. Kara thinks something's hurtful. Chloe cries. Lupe is still extremely obnoxious. Nick and Zulema fight about the whole model thing. Tim thinks the designers are full of shit. Santino and Heidi have a faux boxing match. Andrae is still scrounging for attention.

Overall Grade: C-