Burn Notice

Harper's Island - Season 1, Episode 7

Previously on Harper's Island: DEATH!

The sheriff arrives at the inn, which spurs talk amongst the wedding party about room searches and such. This freaks Malcolm out, because he still hasn't bothered to hide the ill-gotten money anyplace safer than under his bed. Shea and Madison sit in the dining room. Madison is a creepy brat some more. Shea looks like she's starting to catch the snap that her daughter's a psycho. Malcolm rushes upstairs to try and transfer the money from the satchel to his backpack, but he's interrupted by a knock at the door. Instead of asking who it is, he continues with his panic, and tosses the satchel of money out the window. He could have saved himself the trouble, because it's only Beth at the door, there to thank him for giving her a shoulder to blubber on.

MEANWHILE, Henry tries to talk to Trish. He says that while there's a charter boat coming later to take everyone back to Seattle, he can stay on the island until her dad's body is released. He also wants to know where their wedding stands now. Trish is too upset to offer any sort of opinion. Abby is met in the lobby by Jimmy, who's looking more like Milo Ventimiglia by the day. They both bemoan the fact that murder sprees always seem to get in the way of their budding romance. Yeah, poor you. We're catapulted into a flashback of seven years ago, when Harper's Island was some sort of sun-dappled paradise. Nikki and Abby giggle over the fact that Jimmy has invited Abby to go camping (the locals use camping as an excuse to bone each other). Abby figures if it ain't broke, don't fix it, and is all too willing to give it up. Jimmy overhears the last bit, and is all smiles. He and Abby make with the smooches.

MEANWHILE... Well, not meanwhile. Seven years later, the sheriff searches JD's room and finds some firecrackers. Henry comes in, and the sheriff snarks that Henry knew JD put the dead raccoon on the church altar, and didn't tell him. Wait, did Henry show the firecracker to the sheriff? I thought he hid it. Also, all the guests knew that JD had firecrackers. Why is it such a surprise now? ALSO, also, though the firecracker and the raccoon were found together, it doesn't automatically follow that JD is responsible for the animal carcass. We pass over all of that, and Henry just whines that he was trying to protect JD. Things get worse for the absent JD when the sheriff discovers the anti-depressant (or anti-psychotic) medication in the bathroom. Henry says that JD hasn't been taking his pills. Then the sheriff finds Uncle Marty's cell phone in JD's bag. That's enough evidence for him to assume for now that JD is the killer.

MEANWHILE, the inn staff takes down all the wedding decorations. Abby spots Henry trying to talk to a very unreceptive Trish. He comes over, and tells Abby about the cell phone, and that Trish must blame him for his brother being a psycho killer (in addition to being a depressive Froot Loop). He wanders off to convince the sheriff to let him come along on the search for JD. Abby takes a plate of food over to Trish, and they bond over their dead parents.

MEANWHILE, we get some interweaving scenes between sun-dappled-seven-years-ago, and now. Back then, Abby packs for her "camping" trip, which her Valerie Harperesque mother disapproves of, because she knows exactly what Abby's up to. In the present, Abby tells Trish that she was helped by going to talk to her mother's body before the funeral. Trish doesn't know if she can go through with that. In flashback, land, Valerie Harper extracts a promise from Abby that she'll be home by breakfast, and tacitly agrees to cover for her. Abby and Jimmy head off into the woods, chatting about the future, until a massive explosion from the docks rattles them.

MEANWHILE, the sheriff and Henry walk through the woods and talk about JD. Henry somewhat blames himself for the way that JD turned out, and we learn that Uncle Marty was JD's guardian after his and Henry's parents died. The two of them didn't get along well, as Uncle Marty was hardly the paternal type. The sheriff points out that plenty of people have had worse lives than JD and turned out fine.

MEANWHILE, Malcolm interrupts the gardener, who's trimming hedges with an electric chainsaw. This chainsaw was also seen earlier when Abby took the food to Trish. Why do I get the feeling we'll see it later, too? Malcolm snags the satchel from underneath his window, and dashes back to his room to transfer the money to a backpack. His bad luck continues, though, when Blond Tool and Danny barge in, Blond Tool demanding to know where Muffin is. Sure. You've seen two dead bodies in as many days, one of which was killed right before your eyes. You're hiding the fact that you've stolen thousands of dollars. One of your best friends has vanished. People are having their rooms searched by police. Naturally, the only thing you'd care about at a time like this is where your blow-up sex doll is. There's being a Tool, and there's just plain stupid. Assuming she's in the backpack, Blond Tool snags it and discovers the money. Malcolm swears he can explain.

MEANWHILE, Abby and Trish go to talk to Sinister Dad's body. The annoying coroner pulls Abby aside and needlessly reminds her that neither of them should look under the sheet. As Trish prepares to pour out her heart, we rejoin Abby and Jimmy in Flashback Land. They rush to the docks where Henry and the sheriff are attempting to administer first aid to Burnface McGee, who appears to be a deputy of some type. The sheriff sends Abby to report to her mother. In the present, Malcolm spills his guts. Not literally. Yet. He tells Danny and Blond Tool the whole story about Booth and the money. Danny socks him across the jaw. He announces that they have to tell the sheriff everything, and that there's no way they're leaving Booth in an unmarked grave on this island.

MEANWHILE, Henry tells the sheriff that back in the day, JD and some girl had a suicide pact. Henry came home in time to save JD, but not the girl. After that, he and Uncle Marty put JD into an institution, for which JD never forgave them. At the morgue, Trish finishes up, comes out to the lobby, and thanks Abby for taking an interest in her. She worries that her relationship with Henry will never be the same. Abby asks the coroner to take Trish back to the inn, because Abby needs to stop by her dad's place. The coroner doesn't think that's wise or safe, but Abby blows him off. In Flashback Land, Abby arrives home to find that the door has been forced, and her mother's coffee cup lies shattered on the ground. The sheriff calls in a panic, and orders her to lock all the doors and windows. In the present, Abby leaves the sheriff's house, where she's confronted by Burnface McGee. He tells her that JD is innocent, and that the sheriff is a liar who can't be trusted. He instructs her to ask her father about Wakefield's revenge against him.

MEANWHILE, in Flashback Land, Abby is ever the drama/danger queen, and disobeys her father to go wandering in the woods, looking for her mother. She witnesses Wakefield (I assume - we never see his face) murdering one of the locals with the head spade, and cries out. Wakefield comes after her, but is surprised by Jimmy in his truck. When Wakefield turns his attention to Jimmy, he roars off in the truck, and Abby uses the opportunity to escape. In the present, the police find JD, and after a brief chase, Henry tackles him on the docks. JD protests his innocence. After JD is locked up, Henry and the sheriff meet up with Abby, who confronts her father about what Burnface McGee said. The sheriff says that Wakefield wasn't after him, but Valerie Harper. Turns out that she and Wakefield dated when they were younger, and when Valerie Harper ran away, Wakefield tracked her for revenge. Oh, please don't tell me that Abby is going to turn out to be Wakefield's kid.

In Flashback Land, Abby pleads with her father not to be sent away. In his pain, he snaps that maybe Valerie Harper got what she deserved. In the present, he admits that when Wakefield first came after her, he sent his deputies, including Burnface McGee, to teach him a lesson. When Burnface McGee got hurt, the sheriff charged Wakefield with attempted murder, and put him away for a long time. Funny how that affects a man they already know is hell-bent on revenge. It made him even more so. The sheriff just thought it'd be easier to let Abby hate him than besmirch the memory of her mother.

MEANWHILE, Trish tells Shea that she's calling off the wedding for good, because she can't look at Henry without reliving Sinister Dad's death. Shea tries to tell her not to rush anything, but Trish has made up her mind. Madison is hanging around in some lobby somewhere. By herself, of course. Someone spots her through a window, and slips a note under the door. She reads it, and quickly exits. Malcolm goes down to the basement to throw the money into the incinerator. By himself, of course. Sigh. You wouldn't be able to pry me away from other people if I knew there was a murderer loose on the island. I'd be hanging out with the inn's employees all day. Malcolm has no such qualms, which is why it's ridiculously easy for the murderer to wait until the money is disposed of before disposing of Malcolm. He's chopped from behind, and in his screams and death throes, is only able to grasp the incinerator with his bloody hand, which can't feel great, either.

MEANWHILE, Abby goes to talk to Trish. She intimates that Trish shouldn't make any rash decisions about ending things with Henry, and hands Trish a picture of her and Henry when they were little kids. Trish softens. In Flashback Land, the sheriff puts Abby on the ferry to the mainland. Jimmy runs down to the dock yelling, but doesn't get there in time. In the present, Abby meets Jimmy at the dock, and apologizes for never contacting him during the seven years she was away. She also tells him that he saved her life that day in the woods with Wakefield, which he already knew. She leans in and kisses him, not caring that he's covered in fish guts.

MEANWHILE, Madison clutches the note she was given, and slowly walks to one of the inn's rooms. She calls for Richard as she enters the room, and the door is slammed behind her. I guess it's too much to ask that next week opens with the unfortunate news of her demise. I'm sorry! She gets on my nerves.

Next week on Harper's Island: DEATH!

Overall Grade: B-