Melted Plastic

Top Chef: Just Desserts - Season 1, Episode 7

Previously on Just Desserts: Heatherh managed to turn a completely legitimate gripe about being elbowed in the face into a groundswell of support for the elbower. Gidget's sense of moral superiority served him in good stead when the challenge literally called for the chefs to see things in black and white. He picked up the challenge win, while Erika's odd-tasting ice cream got her the boot. Six chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Opening menu. Every two or three years, I get an undeniable craving for Fig Newtons, and this year's urge dovetailed nicely into a show about desserts. Also, we got to consume the fruits of our labors from this past Saturday's pumpkin-carving party, as our gracious hosts set out bowls of the roasted seeds. Some with cayenne pepper! Yay!

Monday Morning Quarterback session. The Plastics hang out together. Naturally. Heatherh interviews that the last challenge was her first time in the bottom three after several appearances in the top three, so she's not worried. Merely a bump in the road! Gidget smarms that he's had a target on his back from almost the very beginning of the competition. Yes, I'm sure the other chefs were quaking in their aprons when they heard your bake sale item was the least popular offering of the day. Morgan doesn't like the Plastics, but makes sure not to underestimate them when it comes to talent.

Quickfire Challenge. The chefs are met in the Kitchen by Gail and Johnny. Gail informs them that from here on out, the winners of the Quickfires will not receive immunity. As to the challenge itself, it's lifted from its Top Chef ancestor. Luckily, it's the mise en place relay race, which I always enjoy. Of course, this one has a dessert twist on it, but first, the chefs need to be split into teams. The chefs draw their fake cookies, and in an odd twist of fate, the Plastics all wind up on the same team, which leaves Danielle/Morgan/Eric on the other. The Plastics are obviously thrilled about the situation, while Danielle is ready to take them on as a big, annoying bloc.

Tiffany: "Hey, Danielle. Why the long face?"

On to the race. First, someone will have to mold twelve perfect tart shells. Then, someone will pipe eight silver-dollar-sized buttercream roses. Then, someone will separate out six egg whites, and whip them into peaks stiff enough to hold over the chef's head for ten seconds without falling out. Finally, the entire team will roll out strudel dough to cover the entire length of the prep table, then fold the strudel up into it. To make up for the lack of immunity, the members of the winning team will get $3000 each. Not bad! Gail gives the teams one minute to decide who's doing which task. Once that's dispensed with, Johnny blasts his whistle, and the teams spring into action.

Danielle smokes Gidget on the tart shells. What was that about him being a giant threat, again? He asks for a check soon after, but Johnny tells him one of his shells is uneven, and he has to fix it. By the time he finishes, Eric has filled a pastry bag with buttercream, and is just starting on the roses. Heatherh hurries to catch up, and she is no slouch in the rose-making department. Eric may be being a bit too meticulous, or perhaps she just rocks, because she soon overtakes him. So, the teams are tied going into the egg whites. Morgan is confident that he can easily beat Zac, which he does, though he's overly proud of pulling out a four-second lead. It's a dead heat going into the strudel dough, which is pretty delicate work. It's easy to get holes and tears, so the dough must be gently massaged into shape. Morgan leads his team, but his tack appears to be too aggressive, and holes soon open up. The Plastics move a lot more smoothly and carefully, so it's no surprise that they finish first. At this point, the lead is a lot more significant, and it doesn't take much effort for the Plastics to roll up their apple strudel and win the challenge. They celebrate happily.

Elimination Challenge. As Gail begins the description, there's a shot of the truly wretched remains of the sadly symbolic Danielle/Morgan/Eric strudel dough. Since lifting the Quickfire Challenge wholesale from Top Chef: Original Recipe worked out so well, why not do it for the Elimination Challenge as well? Yes, it's the dessert version of Restaurant Wars. Well, it's never been my favorite challenge, but there's room for improvement in the translation between shows. Let's see how it goes. The two dessert shops will need to be well-stocked; each team member is responsible for making three items. Not only that, but the teams are required to include a bread item. Need some motivation? How about $30,000 to split amongst the winning team members? Danielle interviews that all of the remaining chefs have already won some prize money, save her, so she's looking forward to finally getting in on the action.

Tiffany: "You go get it, Oblong."

The teams head into the next room to check out the space. It's a bit sparse, but there are some nice elements, from the glass display case to the chalkboard menu square. The teams settle in for forty-five minutes of menu and decor planning. Theme comes up first. The Plastics want a candy store for adults, while the Non-Plastics aim for the dessert version of comfort food. As planning progresses, Danielle and Morgan begin to get a bit snippy and impatient with each other, but the Non-Plastics have the great good fortune of having Eric the Moderator as their third team member. He works to smooth over the tension while still making sure that decisions are getting made, and prevents what could easily have devolved into a real mess. I love Eric.

When menu planning ends, the teams head to the store for half an hour of shopping with a thousand-dollar budget. The Plastics load up on fun elements, like ribbons and bubbles. Zac describes his idea of putting flower arrangements in candy instead of water, snarking that the Non-Plastics have no style. So creative, that Zac! When I was a cater-waiter, I sure didn't see flowers stuck into vases of candy at approximately forty bazillion weddings! Or to put it another way, I did. Morgan sneaks into the employee area to ask for riper bananas. He's hoping the Plastics' overconfidence will be their downfall. What overconfidence? It's not like Gidget has said anything along the lines of "I have no idea what the Non-Plastics are making, but am sure that our ideas are better anyway". Until two seconds later.

Back in the Kitchen, the teams have five hours to prep. Heatherh provides the extra information that in addition to the bread item, two of the nine desserts must be served a la minute. She refers to the Non-Plastics as Team Loser. Keep riding on that glorious high horse, sweetness. It's not like pride has ever gone before a fall. Gidget interviews that the fastest way to get through the massive prep list is to set up an assembly line approach. Menus are described. As usual, we'll get to the food later. Heatherh doesn't trust the dough-rolling machine (and doesn't feel like waiting for the Non-Plastics to be done with it), and decides she's going to roll out all of the Plastics' dough by hand. Some minor drama erupts when Morgan cannot find a couple of bags of lemon. Gidget swears that the Plastics don't have any of the Non-Plastics' lemons, but Morgan doesn't buy it. The tension is unbearable!!!! What has become of the lemons?!?! Are the teams about to brawl?!?!? We build to... Nothing. I hope you enjoyed the spat that wasn't, because we're never going to hear another word about it. Towards the end of prep time, Morgan is not as far along as he usually is, and his stress shows in a mini-tantrum of whining and cursing. Time runs out, and Eric and Danielle spend the evening trying to calm Morgan down so he doesn't torpedo the entire team's momentum.

The next day, the teams have two additional hours to get things finished. Eric hopes Morgan is in a better mood, and can get all his prep work done. Gidget worries that his menu ideas are over-ambitious. A bowl of whipped cream falls to the floor when he opens the fridge, spattering his shoes. That must have been annoying, though probably not upsetting enough to act like it's hydrochloric acid. Heatherh takes the bowl and tells him to calm down. She's got worries of her own, because the Plastics' display case is looking a little bare in comparison to the Non-Plastics'. Final preparations are hysterically made on both sides. The plates are arranged out in the display areas, and flowery menus are drawn on the chalkboards. Before you know it, diners are streaming in. One lady is Tina Fey's doppelganger. Zac and Gidget handle the front-of-house. Gidget somewhat hilariously gives Heatherh a royal backhanded compliment by saying that she's a fantastic pastry chef, but probably doesn't belong in a room with, you know, other people. Meanwhile, Danielle, who's always such a spitfire in her interviews, has left her personality back at the lofts. She greets the customers with the enthusiasm most of us would exhibit as we're being audited.

The judges enter, and head for the Plastics' side of the room first. Hubert joins Gail and Johnny this week, as does guest judge Nancy Silverton, who's a local pastry chef. The judges settle into a table. Johnny appreciates the playful decoration of the candy flowers, which are quite pretty. While we're on the topic of decor, though, Hubert wonders why there's an industrial rack full of food, while the display case is almost empty. Yeah, that's weird. Gidget approaches to present the dishes. Zac has made a donut filled with wild blueberry jam, served with a lemon verbena milkshake. He's also taken on the bread item, which is a fennel seed and kalamata brioche with white truffle butter, and wraps up with caramel popcorn with bacon fat. The judges heartily enjoy the donut, but are meh about the shake. The brioche gets a big thumbs up, while the popcorn is wildly inconsistent. Some of the kernels are bare, while others are drenched in bacon.

Gidget's desserts are up next. The first is a dark chocolate ganache tart with peanuts and caramel, followed by a margarita sorbet, and finishing with a fraisier with raspberry, strawberry, and a hibiscus gelee. Tasting. The sorbet has wonderful texture, and tastes mellow and delicious. The fraisier, on the other hand, doesn't measure up to its classy description, and the tart is as hard as a hockey puck. There is so much dough, Hubert almost shatters his plate when he tries to cut into it. Meanwhile, Zac has wandered back to the Kitchen, and is getting in Heatherh's way. She's in a foul mood, and since she can't yell at Morgan, she snaps at Zac to shut up when he tries to interject some suggestions about which plates go out next. Once they figure out the plate situation, he tells her never to tell him to shut up again. "Shut up," Heatherh responds without missing a beat. My left and right brain battle over whether that was uncalled for or awesome. I guess I can't see any reason why it can't be both.

Gidget presents Heatherh's desserts to the judges. First is a lemon cream tart, with a white chocolate cream and fresh raspberries. That's followed by a frozen key lime bar with a graham cracker crust and strawberry sauce. The last one is a chocolate pudding cup with some fresh mango garnish. Tasting. Before the judges dig in, they agree that Gidget has a very positive front-of-house presence. Gail likes Heatherh's presentation, until Hubert points out that the frozen key lime bars have her fingerprints all over them. Nancy finds the lime flavor too timid. Ugh. I wouldn't be Limecrete without a love of lime, and weak key lime pie is the worst. The pudding is nice, but Johnny notes that the crust on the lemon tart is the same thick mess that Gidget's tart had. After the judges leave, a bunch of picky eaters come up to place special requests. They do realize that this isn't an actual shop where they're paying customers, yes? To their credit, the Plastics accommodate everyone to the best of their ability.

The Non-Plastics have customer issues too. One guy is even allergic to nuts and processed sugar, which he notes sourly. He must be a blast at parties. Morgan takes on the challenge of making him a quick sorbet with liquid nitrogen, even though the judges are due any minute. Good for him. The judges soon appear in the Non-Plastics' line, and order one of everything. Danielle continues to have the personality of a carp. What the hell happened to her? Gail notes this once the judges are seated. She does appreciate how well-stocked and well-organized the display case is, though. Danielle presents Eric's dishes first, beginning with a classic chocolate chip cookie. That's followed by a vanilla malted layer cake with chocolate buttercream and malted candy. Finally, there's a banana loaf with brown butter and tangerine icing. Tasting. Everything gets mixed reviews. The layer cake is very rich and heavy, but the buttercream has wonderful texture. The cookie is an extremely simple idea, but fits well into the theme of comforting desserts that everyone loves. The banana loaf is a bit underdone, but the flavors work really well.

Danielle returns with her own desserts. The first one is a pistachio shortcake with lemon cream and strawberries. I like everything that's gone into it, but it's not very visually appealing. The second dessert is coffee cream pie with hazelnut brittle. Yay, hazelnut! That one's also kind of weird-looking. However, the third offering looks fantastic. It's a house-made ginger ale float with raspberry and tangerine lime sorbets. That float is really fighting it out with Zac's blueberry donut for Limecrete's Pick of the Week. Tasting. The float gets mostly positive feedback, as does the shortcake. The cream pie doesn't have enough coffee flavor.

Finally, we have Morgan's plates. The bread item is a pretzel stick served with two kinds of mustard. I'm sorry to keep harping on this, but Danielle is still presenting these with zero personality, and it is driving me up the fucking wall. Anyway. The second plate is a lovely chocolate cake with chocolate mousse and a creme brulee center. It's cut to show the layers as concentric squares, and looks awesome. The last plate is lemon fried pie with salted caramel ice cream. Yes, please! That's the third thing I want to make my pick of the week. Decisions, decisions. I think I'm going to have to go with the blueberry donut, simply because I haven't stopped craving one since the episode aired. Tasting. Morgan's ice cream is delicious, and his citrus element worked a lot better than Heatherh's. The pretzel is a tad too buttery, but Gail would love to pair one with a big ol' mug of beer. The layered cake is beautiful, and Morgan has shown the most range and sophistication of all of the chefs today. Service winds down. The guests fill out comment cards and compliment the chefs on their favorite dishes. The judges head out, and the chefs celebrate a job well done with their servers. Both teams hope they pulled out a win. Based on judge feedback, it could really go either way. Suspense!

Interstitial. Morgan and Danielle have a very sibling-like relationship, with all the pros and cons that go along with it.

Judges' Table. Both teams come out to hear the verdict. Gail tells them that there were highs and lows on both sides. The Non-Plastics had a very welcoming atmosphere, but Danielle didn't do a stellar job as hostess. Johnny proclaims that she was "laxadaisical" and too casual. Really, Johnny? Did she refudiate your notion of good service? Supposably, she should have done a better job. Perhaps we should hold off on the ten-cent words until we can handle the nickels. Now, to the food. Eric's banana loaf was pale and had issues with the leavening ratio. He admits that he couldn't remember the exact recipe. Morgan's cake, on the other hand, could easily be featured on any glossy cookbook page. Danielle knows her coffee cream pie didn't have enough coffee, even before the judges call her on it.

On to the Plastics. Zac's donut had perfect consistency, even reminding Hubert of his childhood back in France. The milkshake that was served alongside it may as well have not existed. Nancy tells him his brioche was perfect, and for once, his excitement seems genuine. Heatherh's key lime bar had fingerprints all over it, and the lime flavor was weak. The ganache in Gidget's tart was sensational, but it was ruined by the thick crust. Heatherh jumps in to take responsibility for making the dough. Gail pointlessly reiterates that admission before moving on to ask why the display case was so bare. Zac says that they were slammed with customers right before the judges showed up. Gail asks whose responsibility it was to keep the case stocked. "We all take ownership. We're a team," Heatherh responds.

Kender: "But of course I was in the Kitchen the whole time, so..."

Zac picks up the unity thread, and says that they'll either all rejoice in the prize money, or they'll all sink as a team. Well, that's sweet. Gail understands the sentiment, but says that only one person from the losing team is going home.

Tiffany (as Zac): "Oh, well then she did it."

The decision was a tough one, but as Nancy explains, if these two shops existed across the street from each other, the one that the judges would return to again and again is... The Non-Plastics. Yaaaaaaay! So, that's $10,000 a piece for Danielle, Morgan, and Eric, and the Plastics will lose a Mean Girl. What better result could there be? The Non-Plastics hug and celebrate. Eric is in tears. The Plastics suck a collective lemon, and Zac swipes at Danielle's cooking ability in interview. The chefs are dismissed.

Deliberations. Zac's milkshake was bland, and his popcorn was uneven. Heatherh's key lime bar was unpleasant, and her lemon tart included the horrible crust that she made. Gidget's fraisier was lackluster. The judges reach a decision.

Elimination. That weird didgeridoo sound effect is back. Johnny tells the Plastics that the decision came down to details, but they fell short on both the atmosphere and the food. Zac and Gidget are both assigned blame for not keeping the display case full, and both of them had individual issues with their desserts. Heatherh's dough is simply unacceptable at this level of the competition. We go over the Gail for the chop. Heatherh. Your dessert just didn't measure up. Please pack your tools and go. In her final interview, the first thing out of her mouth is how she's sure there were some people that should have gone first, but whatever. She makes sure to hug all of her chosen buddies on her way out, as we hear a voiceover of how grateful she is to have worked with said people. She started off as one of my favorites, and I'll bet she's one hell of a pastry chef. If she'd have kept her eyes on her own paper, I'd be cheering for her madly. But no. She had to have her powerful clique, and she had to obsess over her mortal enemy like an obnoxious teenager, and for that reason, I'm not sorry to see her go.

Overall Grade: C+