Top Chef - Season 12, Episode 5
Previously: The chefs went to Cheers, and Gregory really embraced the "bar" aspect of the Quickfire by spilling food all over the floor. George Wendt displayed the boredom that all of us audience members are experiencing this season. The Elimination Challenge threatened to spark some actual interest by giving us an intriguing challenge about menu design. Aaron kept on fighting, Gregory kept on winning, and my boyfriend kept on dropping off to sleep during these episodes. James and Rebecca made an unceremonious exit, and I think Rebecca just might be the chef that's made the least amount of impression on me in the history of the franchise. Ten chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Monday Morning Quarterback Session. Stacy is shell-shocked by how badly she and her team performed in the last challenge. I'm glad she was able to pull through, but yeah, step it up, girl. Quickfire Challenge. The chefs are met in the Kitchen by Padma and guest judge Jamie Bissonette, which is a name I feel like should be showing up in the Too Many Cooks intro. The theme of this week's challenges is battles, so it looks like I was right when I said "I guess Boston's current food culture is not enough of an attraction, so it's looking more and more like this season will be Quirky Challenges Regarding America's Past". This is like Assassin's Creed 3: Food Missions. Which actually sounds kind of awesome. Somebody make that game.
Anyhoo, in this week's Quickfire, half the chefs get to pick an opponent to cook against head-to-head. That opponent then gets to select a dish from a pre-set list that both chefs will make. There's no immunity, but the winning chef will get $10,000. That puts the chefs' game faces on pretty damned quick. Here's how the match-ups shake out:
Katsuji challenges Aaron, who picks smoked salmon. Doug challenges Adam, who picks mussels. Kariann challenges Stacy, who picks trout. Melissa challenges Katie, who picks BBQ. That leaves Mei vs. Gregory, and they'll be making steamed dumplings. There's naturally a lot of smack talk about who's weak, and who's a threat, and who's going down, and blah blah blah. Let's see who can back up their bluster. Ready? Go! The banter keeps up over the course of the prep, some more good-natured than others. When the dust settles, Padma and Jamie judge each pair of dishes. The winners and losers of each match-up will form a team of their own for their upcoming challenge:
Winners: Katsuji, Doug, Kariann, Katie, and Gregory
Losers: Aaron, Adam, Stacy, Melissa, and Mei
Mei looks piiiiiiiiiiised. Gregory not only beat her in the Quickfire match-up, but he is declared the overall winner, and gets to pocket the $10K. Elimination Challenge. As I just mentioned, the chefs who won their Quickfire match-ups are sorted into one team (Blue), while the losing chefs go to the other team (Red). For today's main challenge, the chefs can make whatever dish they like. They will then go head-to-head in another series of battles. Each time a team wins a battle, they get a point. First team to three points wins, and someone from the losing team goes home. The chefs may pick who participates in each battle, so this is very similar to that tennis challenge that we had such a rousing discussion about. Check the comments!
Shopping. Each team only gets $1000 to serve 100 guests, so they must split up their money and choose ingredients wisely. Which proceeds to happen with no issue whatsoever. Not that I want people pulling each other's hair over who gets to buy cumquats or whatever, but this season desperately needs a shot of adrenaline. Prep. Aaron is making a seafood noodle wrap very much like the one that edged out Katie's dish in that one Quickfire. Melissa interviews that she is confident about her soup. Then, thirty seconds later she interviews that she is concerned about her soup, because the texture isn't working out the way she'd hoped. Even the editors are too bored to pay attention to what's going on.
Service. The food is served outdoors, with people in Revolutionary War garb standing around playing with muskets. The hundred guests tear into the food, but have absolutely no say in whose dish is good or bad or better or worse than anyone else's. So...thanks for stopping by, everyone! The judges will be the ones deciding everything. Adam has taken a pseudo-leader role on the Blue team, but has the refreshing intelligence to realize that as long as he concentrates on making his own dish as good as possible, he's unlikely to be eliminated. Somewhere, Spike is watching this, smirking, then waltzing out the door to go lose yet another contest because he got more caught up in strategy than on making decent food. Aaron spills his dashi all over the ground. Mei has some instant dashi mix to loan him, which he hopes will be good enough to pull him through.
First battle. Adam goes up against Dougie. Katie screams "Go Dooooooooooooogie!" on the sidelines, causing a weary Katsuji to grumble "Please don't do that." Wooo, check out the enthusiasm of even the contestants for this season! The judges like both of the dishes, but Adam's grits with cheddar cheese, poached egg, bacon, and onion jam edges out Dougie's beef tartare. Adam's does look awfully good. The Red team earns their first point.
Second battle. Katsuji has a mini panic attack as he puts together yet another dish with forty-thousand components. Luckily, he's up against Melissa, whose soup has an extremely off-putting texture that the judges find watery and unappetizing. It's bad enough that Katsuji is able to take the battle, earning the Blue team their first point.
Third battle. Gregory goes up for Blue, so the Red team puts up Mei, which was a terrible idea. If you accept that Mei is a strong competitor (which both I and all the chefs do), the one chef you shouldn't pit her against is Gregory, who is the only person that consistently beats her. Put her up against somebody weaker so that she's more likely to grab a point. No time-traveler picks up on my brainwaves, so they are re-matched, and although Mei's strip loin in kimchi vegetables is given high marks, she cannot overcome Gregory's mushroom/coconut milk/tumeric green curry. Bad strategy, Red. The Blue team takes their second point.
Fourth battle. Kariann goes up against Stacy. A lot of Quickfire rematches are going on here, which Padma notes sardonically. I think she may be drunker than usual. No matter how much the judges disliked Melissa's soup, it's nothing compared with the revulsion that meets Kariann's herb meatball. The judges completely trash it. Stacy's marinated beets are nothing to write home about, but they're clearly better than the hated meatball, so Stacy wins the battle. The Red team gets its second point.
Fifth battle. It all comes down to Aaron vs. Katie! Aaron says that if Katie beats him, he will shoot himself in the face. Katie has made a chocolate cake with smoked sour cream, and Aaron implies that she's copped out by making a dessert. Huh? Dessert is usually what gets people kicked off the show. If anything, making chocolate cake takes far stronger stones than making a savory dish; especially a rehash of your own Quickfire entry from a couple of challenge ago. Tom essentially says the same thing. Aaron's scallop noodle and pork meatball is panned, and Katie wins the point, solidifying the Blue team's win. Katie lets out a pretty endearing Xena yell of victory.
Judges' Table. The Blue team is congratulated, and sent to the safe zone. They are shortly joined by Adam and Mei, who both made very good dishes, despite being on the losing team. Looks like Adam's strategy paid off. He's given some guff about it from the judges (and from Gregory on the sidelines, like thanks for chiming in, Golden Boy, but your opinion from the safe zone on this matter is less than essential). It's all bullshit, and Adam happily shrugs it off as such. That leaves Stacy, Aaron, and Melissa up for the chop. Stacy is a little surprised to be in danger, since she won her point. The judges tell her that she shouldn't be too proud about that, since she didn't win so much as Kariann completely blew it. There's a pretty stellar shot of Kariann's reactionary bitchface to this proclamation. All three of these chefs did pretty poor work today, but the one going home is...Aaron. Hooray!
In his final interview, he graciously admits that his personality may not be for everyone. And the Atlantic Ocean is a bit moist. I may have added that last bit. He is finally out of our lives, to the delight of everyone but his girlfriend, since the only food he's prepared for her is a knuckle sandwich. And not that I advocate violence, but Aaron did say that he'd shoot himself in the face if Katie won the point. People should keep their promises, don't you think?
Overall Grade: B-
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Monday, November 10, 2014
That's An Order
Top Chef - Season 12, Episode 4
Previously on Top Chef: Teas! Tears! Toupees! T'ballpark food! Gregory hit a homerun, picking up yet another challenge win, while Ron struck out. Twelve chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Monday Morning Quarterback Session. Aaron talks. Nobody cares. Kariann bemoans how she hasn't been doing well in the competition, and cries about missing her kids. She should also spare some crying for wasting an entire tube of Dr. Pepper lip gloss, which is smeared all over her mouth. The chefs receive a note from Padma with the address where they are supposed to meet her. It's supposed to be very clandestine, but the surprise is immediately blown by hometown girl Stacy, who recognizes the address as Cheers. Whoops! That was the shortest game of Carmen Sandiego I've ever seen.
Quickfire Challenge. Indeed, the chefs are on their way to the original Cheers bar, where they are met by Padma and George Wendt. He graciously suffers through the chefs yelling "Norm!" at him before we get down to business. Here's an interesting tidbit of trivia for the audience: By law, all bars in Boston must serve food. So, for today's Quickfire, the chefs will use whatever's on-hand in the Cheers kitchen to make an upscale bar snack. Winner gets immunity. Ready? Go!
Aaron combines eggs with peanut butter and mayonnaise, which sounds gross, but he insists that it actually works if balanced properly. I'll buy it; I'd like to try that mixture if it's in the right proportion. Gregory gets a good start on his burger, but gravity is not his friend today, and a lot of his ingredients fly off the plate and onto the floor. Adam is making black bean chilaquile with egg on top, and it's the first dish of the day (and maybe of the competition) that's really made me sit up and take notice. James works on a vegetable hummus, and insists that in Michigan, crudite is totally a bar food. I am unconvinced. Katsuji whips up a spin on a fish taco with some tuna, while Kariann focuses on crabcakes.
Tasting. Padma attempts to banter with George Wendt, who clearly wishes he were anywhere else. He's about as excited to appear on this show as he would be to get a root canal with a rusty screw. Obviously, Gregory is in the bottom, since most of his food is currently getting ground into the kitchen floor by people's shoes. He's joined by James, who didn't make anything approaching bar food. Save the carrot sticks for the garden party, brah. Katsuji and Kariann are the top two, with Katsuji taking the challenge and immunity. He's very pleased, but not as happy as George, who takes off so fast, there's a George-shaped puff of smoke left behind.
Elimination Challenge. Michael Schlow (a competitor from Top Chef: Masters and local food luminary) will be turning his restaurant over to the chefs and guest judging. The chefs will break into teams and each team will serve a three-course Italian meal: Antipasti, pasta, and entree. The chefs will design a menu, and whichever menu gets ordered the most by guests will be automatically be declared the winner and be safe from elimination. So, it doesn't even matter how the food tastes. If it at least sounds appetizing enough to entice the diners, a team can skate by. Everyone else is up for elimination.
How do we feel about this? I've been stewing it over in my mind, and have come to the conclusion that I like this challenge. Sure, on the one hand, it doesn't sound entirely fair that the chefs get to shield themselves from elimination via advertising rather than cooking skills. But, there's no denying that designing a menu does fall under the purview of a chef's duties, and if you can't appeal to diners' imaginations and manage their expectations, it doesn't really matter how good your food is, cause they'll never order it. In another fun little twist, Padma tells the chefs that they can pick their own teams, so let's see how that popularity contest shakes out:
Orange: Adam/Doug/Mei (the sous chef team)
Grey: Kariann/Melissa/James (the seafood team)
Blue: Rebecca/Katie/Stacy (the let's work with anyone except Aaron team)
Purple: Aaron/Katsuji/Gregory (the leftovers)
Interesting. It's completely natural that everyone else would avoid Aaron (including his girlfriend, apparently), but with all that talk last week about the bond between James and Aaron, it's curious that they didn't wind up together. Speaking of last week, since nobody went home during that Sudden Death Quickfire, Padma informs the chefs that this week will be a double elimination, and two people will be going home. The chefs make various consternated faces.
Planning and prep. James is reluctant to make seafood, but in the interest of team harmony, agrees to make fish. Katsuji and Aaron immediately fall to squabbling, of course, and Gregory is kept as busy trying to shut them up and keep them on task as cooking. During the meal, the judges are joined by Emmy Rossum, who drops the bomb on the chefs that she is gluten-free, so that pasta course takes on a new dimension. Katsuji responds to this by ripping open his ravioli and just dumping the filling into a bowl. It's not as though Emmy Rossum is missing anything, as the judges pretty uniformly hate his pasta, anyway. Stacy cuts her ribeye into thin strips, and chars the hell out of her vegetables. Every season seems to attract a group of people with one big problem. Last season, it was overseasoning/underseasoning. This time around, nobody can seem to cook their food for the proper amount of time. Doug makes a pretty basic radicchio salad, but everyone seems to enjoy it.
But, as you know, no matter how good or bad this food is, the winner is all about how good the food sounds. When the dust settles, it doesn't matter that Katsuji's pasta was awful, because the diners ordered the Purple menu most, so the most dysfunctional team gets to slide this week, but not before Katsuji is told he'd be looking at the business end of an elimination if things hadn't happened this way. All of the food on the Orange team was well-received, so they are declared safe as well. Katie, Kariann, and Melissa made some impressive items and are also excused. That brings it down to James, Rebecca, and Stacy. James' sauce was bad, and he should have stuck with his gut and made meat. I mean, yes, you have to make sure you can stand behind the dish you make, but if he can't make a serviceable fish entree, he doesn't really belong here, anyway. Rebecca's concept was all wrong (unbalanced and old-fashioned), and it didn't have enough sauce. Stacy's meat was cut too thin, and her vegetables sucked. Tom throws it over to Padma. Rebecca and James, please pack your knives and go.
Whew. Stacy has been one of the few bright spots so far in this snooze of a season, and it would have been disheartening to see her go. As it is, I'm not too put out to see Non-Entity Rebecca and Swayze Tattoo take off into the sunset. Now, if we could fast-forward to the part of the season that isn't incredibly dull, that'd be great.
Overall Grade: C+
Previously on Top Chef: Teas! Tears! Toupees! T'ballpark food! Gregory hit a homerun, picking up yet another challenge win, while Ron struck out. Twelve chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Monday Morning Quarterback Session. Aaron talks. Nobody cares. Kariann bemoans how she hasn't been doing well in the competition, and cries about missing her kids. She should also spare some crying for wasting an entire tube of Dr. Pepper lip gloss, which is smeared all over her mouth. The chefs receive a note from Padma with the address where they are supposed to meet her. It's supposed to be very clandestine, but the surprise is immediately blown by hometown girl Stacy, who recognizes the address as Cheers. Whoops! That was the shortest game of Carmen Sandiego I've ever seen.
Quickfire Challenge. Indeed, the chefs are on their way to the original Cheers bar, where they are met by Padma and George Wendt. He graciously suffers through the chefs yelling "Norm!" at him before we get down to business. Here's an interesting tidbit of trivia for the audience: By law, all bars in Boston must serve food. So, for today's Quickfire, the chefs will use whatever's on-hand in the Cheers kitchen to make an upscale bar snack. Winner gets immunity. Ready? Go!
Aaron combines eggs with peanut butter and mayonnaise, which sounds gross, but he insists that it actually works if balanced properly. I'll buy it; I'd like to try that mixture if it's in the right proportion. Gregory gets a good start on his burger, but gravity is not his friend today, and a lot of his ingredients fly off the plate and onto the floor. Adam is making black bean chilaquile with egg on top, and it's the first dish of the day (and maybe of the competition) that's really made me sit up and take notice. James works on a vegetable hummus, and insists that in Michigan, crudite is totally a bar food. I am unconvinced. Katsuji whips up a spin on a fish taco with some tuna, while Kariann focuses on crabcakes.
Tasting. Padma attempts to banter with George Wendt, who clearly wishes he were anywhere else. He's about as excited to appear on this show as he would be to get a root canal with a rusty screw. Obviously, Gregory is in the bottom, since most of his food is currently getting ground into the kitchen floor by people's shoes. He's joined by James, who didn't make anything approaching bar food. Save the carrot sticks for the garden party, brah. Katsuji and Kariann are the top two, with Katsuji taking the challenge and immunity. He's very pleased, but not as happy as George, who takes off so fast, there's a George-shaped puff of smoke left behind.
Elimination Challenge. Michael Schlow (a competitor from Top Chef: Masters and local food luminary) will be turning his restaurant over to the chefs and guest judging. The chefs will break into teams and each team will serve a three-course Italian meal: Antipasti, pasta, and entree. The chefs will design a menu, and whichever menu gets ordered the most by guests will be automatically be declared the winner and be safe from elimination. So, it doesn't even matter how the food tastes. If it at least sounds appetizing enough to entice the diners, a team can skate by. Everyone else is up for elimination.
How do we feel about this? I've been stewing it over in my mind, and have come to the conclusion that I like this challenge. Sure, on the one hand, it doesn't sound entirely fair that the chefs get to shield themselves from elimination via advertising rather than cooking skills. But, there's no denying that designing a menu does fall under the purview of a chef's duties, and if you can't appeal to diners' imaginations and manage their expectations, it doesn't really matter how good your food is, cause they'll never order it. In another fun little twist, Padma tells the chefs that they can pick their own teams, so let's see how that popularity contest shakes out:
Orange: Adam/Doug/Mei (the sous chef team)
Grey: Kariann/Melissa/James (the seafood team)
Blue: Rebecca/Katie/Stacy (the let's work with anyone except Aaron team)
Purple: Aaron/Katsuji/Gregory (the leftovers)
Interesting. It's completely natural that everyone else would avoid Aaron (including his girlfriend, apparently), but with all that talk last week about the bond between James and Aaron, it's curious that they didn't wind up together. Speaking of last week, since nobody went home during that Sudden Death Quickfire, Padma informs the chefs that this week will be a double elimination, and two people will be going home. The chefs make various consternated faces.
Planning and prep. James is reluctant to make seafood, but in the interest of team harmony, agrees to make fish. Katsuji and Aaron immediately fall to squabbling, of course, and Gregory is kept as busy trying to shut them up and keep them on task as cooking. During the meal, the judges are joined by Emmy Rossum, who drops the bomb on the chefs that she is gluten-free, so that pasta course takes on a new dimension. Katsuji responds to this by ripping open his ravioli and just dumping the filling into a bowl. It's not as though Emmy Rossum is missing anything, as the judges pretty uniformly hate his pasta, anyway. Stacy cuts her ribeye into thin strips, and chars the hell out of her vegetables. Every season seems to attract a group of people with one big problem. Last season, it was overseasoning/underseasoning. This time around, nobody can seem to cook their food for the proper amount of time. Doug makes a pretty basic radicchio salad, but everyone seems to enjoy it.
But, as you know, no matter how good or bad this food is, the winner is all about how good the food sounds. When the dust settles, it doesn't matter that Katsuji's pasta was awful, because the diners ordered the Purple menu most, so the most dysfunctional team gets to slide this week, but not before Katsuji is told he'd be looking at the business end of an elimination if things hadn't happened this way. All of the food on the Orange team was well-received, so they are declared safe as well. Katie, Kariann, and Melissa made some impressive items and are also excused. That brings it down to James, Rebecca, and Stacy. James' sauce was bad, and he should have stuck with his gut and made meat. I mean, yes, you have to make sure you can stand behind the dish you make, but if he can't make a serviceable fish entree, he doesn't really belong here, anyway. Rebecca's concept was all wrong (unbalanced and old-fashioned), and it didn't have enough sauce. Stacy's meat was cut too thin, and her vegetables sucked. Tom throws it over to Padma. Rebecca and James, please pack your knives and go.
Whew. Stacy has been one of the few bright spots so far in this snooze of a season, and it would have been disheartening to see her go. As it is, I'm not too put out to see Non-Entity Rebecca and Swayze Tattoo take off into the sunset. Now, if we could fast-forward to the part of the season that isn't incredibly dull, that'd be great.
Overall Grade: C+
Monday, November 03, 2014
Making Concessions
Top Chef - Season 12, Episode 3
Previously on Top Chef: Aaron decided he didn't have time to develop The Villain Role organically, and decided to just transparently grab for as much camera time as possible. Lanterns went on and off. Jaaaaaaames haaaaaaaad.....the time of his liiiiiiiife, and was led to a Quickfire win by his patron saint, Patrick Swayze. The chefs served the city's first responders, and came thisclose to actually needing them in a professional sense, as Aaron and Kariann lunged at each other's throats without bothering to put much thought into, you know, cooking. Stacy managed to save them both from elimination, goddamn it, so Joy's undercooked veal sent her packing. Double goddamn it. Thirteen chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Monday Morning Quarterback Session. Everyone in the household hates Aaron, except James, who feels some kind of ridiculous kinship with him. Aaron explains in interview that he knows he's a lot to take, but it's not his fault, cause he comes from a broken home. Oh, awesome! I had no idea that being a child of divorce gave me free rein to be a raging asshole! This opens up so many avenues for me, you guys. He goes on to say that Top Chef is helping him work through those issues, because this is a televised therapy session, and not a competition where people cook. Apparently. Also, let's ask Seth how competing in Top Chef fared in addressing his mental health issues. Assuming we can get a permit to visit him in his rubber room.
Quickfire Challenge. I guess Boston's current food culture is not enough of an attraction, so it's looking more and more like this season will be Quirky Challenges Regarding America's Past. In this one, Padma and guest judge Ming Tsai are on hand to administer a Sudden Death Quickfire revolving around tea. BOSTON TEA PARTY, GET IT?!? It actually isn't a bad ingredient to base a challenge on, since people don't really work much with tea. The chefs will each grab a mystery blend and have to incorporate it into their dish. Winner gets immunity, and loser faces elimination. Ready? Go!
Some of these tea blends sound deeply unappetizing. I guess I have classical tastes when it comes to tea, because strawberry white tea? Gunpowder spearmint tea? No thanks. Rebecca is finally allowed to speak on-screen, as she tells us that she's somewhat of a double threat, because she has actual pastry experience, unlike a lot of other savory chefs. She makes a neutral cake in order to soak up as much of the tea flavor as possible. It seems she's not as big a threat as she thinks, because after time runs out, she lands in the bottom three, along with James (bad sauce) and Aaron (overcooked fish). The top three include Melissa's duck plate, Ron's mole sauce, and Gregory, who mixed that strawberry tea with tuna. That sounds disgusting, but if the judges say it's good, I'll trust them on this one. Gregory wins the challenge and immunity. Aaron is declared the worst, and must face off against another chef to stay in the competition. Oh, please... Send him packing, someone.
Hmm... Who shall he pick to compete against? Another dude? The strong-willed woman he declared he could cook under the table last week? Nah. Dudebro needs to pick on a meek lady, because he's a giant cliche, so of course he selects Katie. The follow-up challenge is to cook something with only a pot of boiling water as the heating element. Aaron hammers some shrimp into a sheet to make a kind of free-form spring roll. I hate to throw credit his way, but that sounds like a great idea. Katie attempts to impress by hand-making pasta, but her lack of sauce does her in. Aaron wins the head-to-head, and gets to stay. Katie! Get your shit together!
Elimination Challenge. Padma announces that the chefs will be serving the meal at Fenway Park, and the chefs react as if they've been told they'll be hanging out in the Oval Office with Barry O. I'll accept the backflips from Stacy, but the rest of you people... It's a stadium. A stadium. There are a lot them lying around. Plus, fuck the Red Sox. The chefs will pick from a selection of ballpark snacks, and must create an elevated, "fine dining" dish based on it. Popcorn is a popular choice, as are peanuts and pretzels. Katsuji is the only one to pick funnel cake, and nobody picks cotton candy, because everyone is playing it safe, and this season is boring so far.
Prep. Katie dedicates her dish to her late father. Kariann insists she can braise her short ribs in three hours, because the laws of time and physics bend to her will. Ron is sad that being a chef takes him away from his family so much. A vulture swoops in and begins circling his head. Gregory used to do drugs, and has thrown himself completely into his career into order to help overcome his addictions. That's nothing, Gregory. My mom... And my dad... ARE NO LONGER MARRIED TO EACH OTHER. Beat that! Towards the end of prep, Katie realizes that her crème brulee is just not going to set, no matter how she tries to save it. Tying it directly to the memory of her father was perhaps not the best idea, as she is now an emotional wreck. Service. The chefs present in sets of three. Boston sportswriter Dan Shaughnessy, Hall of Fame pitcher Dennis Eckersley, and Hall of Fame pitcher Dennis Eckersley's "hair" are all on-hand to help judge.
I'm not going to go over everyone's dishes, but there are some highlights and lowlights. There are also some boring-lights, as everyone kind of aimed for the same thing. There are a mess of corn soups, scallops, and Thai peanut toppings, all of which can be tasty, but none of which are particularly impressive, conceptually. Katie immediately begins crying upon presenting her crème brulee, which she has turned into popcorn mousse, on blue cornmeal salted cornbread. Hey, sounds good to me. It sounds good to the judges, too. They like it very much, and chide her for shooting herself in the foot before anyone has tasted her food. Ron presents a giant mass of a fish croquette in a popcorn soup. I can't comment on its flavor, but visually, it's the furthest thing from "fine dining" we'll see tonight. A lot of chefs have severely undercooked meats (Keriann's magical ribs included), and who knows if that's related to the stadium cooking equipment or not; it's never addressed.
Judges' Table. Despite her emotional swings, Katie lands in the top three, along with Gregory (for his roasted duck with peanut sauce) and Melissa (for her corn and ramp soup with fried calamari). It's time for the increasingly less-rare double win, as Gregory sweeps the week. Meanwhile, Keriann's undercooked ribs and Ron's off-putting fish croquette have sunk them to the bottom, where they're joined by Katsuji, who once again has made a dish where he's thrown everything except potato peelings and paint chips in. The fish croquette is the worst culinary sin, and Ron is sent packing. He's a perfectly nice person, but I don't remember a word of his good-bye. Meanwhile, back in the Kitchen, Aaron has had enough of fighting with Kariann, and picks a fight with Katsuji for a change. I look around for a single molecule of caring, and can't find one.
Overall Grade: C
Previously on Top Chef: Aaron decided he didn't have time to develop The Villain Role organically, and decided to just transparently grab for as much camera time as possible. Lanterns went on and off. Jaaaaaaames haaaaaaaad.....the time of his liiiiiiiife, and was led to a Quickfire win by his patron saint, Patrick Swayze. The chefs served the city's first responders, and came thisclose to actually needing them in a professional sense, as Aaron and Kariann lunged at each other's throats without bothering to put much thought into, you know, cooking. Stacy managed to save them both from elimination, goddamn it, so Joy's undercooked veal sent her packing. Double goddamn it. Thirteen chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Monday Morning Quarterback Session. Everyone in the household hates Aaron, except James, who feels some kind of ridiculous kinship with him. Aaron explains in interview that he knows he's a lot to take, but it's not his fault, cause he comes from a broken home. Oh, awesome! I had no idea that being a child of divorce gave me free rein to be a raging asshole! This opens up so many avenues for me, you guys. He goes on to say that Top Chef is helping him work through those issues, because this is a televised therapy session, and not a competition where people cook. Apparently. Also, let's ask Seth how competing in Top Chef fared in addressing his mental health issues. Assuming we can get a permit to visit him in his rubber room.
Quickfire Challenge. I guess Boston's current food culture is not enough of an attraction, so it's looking more and more like this season will be Quirky Challenges Regarding America's Past. In this one, Padma and guest judge Ming Tsai are on hand to administer a Sudden Death Quickfire revolving around tea. BOSTON TEA PARTY, GET IT?!? It actually isn't a bad ingredient to base a challenge on, since people don't really work much with tea. The chefs will each grab a mystery blend and have to incorporate it into their dish. Winner gets immunity, and loser faces elimination. Ready? Go!
Some of these tea blends sound deeply unappetizing. I guess I have classical tastes when it comes to tea, because strawberry white tea? Gunpowder spearmint tea? No thanks. Rebecca is finally allowed to speak on-screen, as she tells us that she's somewhat of a double threat, because she has actual pastry experience, unlike a lot of other savory chefs. She makes a neutral cake in order to soak up as much of the tea flavor as possible. It seems she's not as big a threat as she thinks, because after time runs out, she lands in the bottom three, along with James (bad sauce) and Aaron (overcooked fish). The top three include Melissa's duck plate, Ron's mole sauce, and Gregory, who mixed that strawberry tea with tuna. That sounds disgusting, but if the judges say it's good, I'll trust them on this one. Gregory wins the challenge and immunity. Aaron is declared the worst, and must face off against another chef to stay in the competition. Oh, please... Send him packing, someone.
Hmm... Who shall he pick to compete against? Another dude? The strong-willed woman he declared he could cook under the table last week? Nah. Dudebro needs to pick on a meek lady, because he's a giant cliche, so of course he selects Katie. The follow-up challenge is to cook something with only a pot of boiling water as the heating element. Aaron hammers some shrimp into a sheet to make a kind of free-form spring roll. I hate to throw credit his way, but that sounds like a great idea. Katie attempts to impress by hand-making pasta, but her lack of sauce does her in. Aaron wins the head-to-head, and gets to stay. Katie! Get your shit together!
Elimination Challenge. Padma announces that the chefs will be serving the meal at Fenway Park, and the chefs react as if they've been told they'll be hanging out in the Oval Office with Barry O. I'll accept the backflips from Stacy, but the rest of you people... It's a stadium. A stadium. There are a lot them lying around. Plus, fuck the Red Sox. The chefs will pick from a selection of ballpark snacks, and must create an elevated, "fine dining" dish based on it. Popcorn is a popular choice, as are peanuts and pretzels. Katsuji is the only one to pick funnel cake, and nobody picks cotton candy, because everyone is playing it safe, and this season is boring so far.
Prep. Katie dedicates her dish to her late father. Kariann insists she can braise her short ribs in three hours, because the laws of time and physics bend to her will. Ron is sad that being a chef takes him away from his family so much. A vulture swoops in and begins circling his head. Gregory used to do drugs, and has thrown himself completely into his career into order to help overcome his addictions. That's nothing, Gregory. My mom... And my dad... ARE NO LONGER MARRIED TO EACH OTHER. Beat that! Towards the end of prep, Katie realizes that her crème brulee is just not going to set, no matter how she tries to save it. Tying it directly to the memory of her father was perhaps not the best idea, as she is now an emotional wreck. Service. The chefs present in sets of three. Boston sportswriter Dan Shaughnessy, Hall of Fame pitcher Dennis Eckersley, and Hall of Fame pitcher Dennis Eckersley's "hair" are all on-hand to help judge.
I'm not going to go over everyone's dishes, but there are some highlights and lowlights. There are also some boring-lights, as everyone kind of aimed for the same thing. There are a mess of corn soups, scallops, and Thai peanut toppings, all of which can be tasty, but none of which are particularly impressive, conceptually. Katie immediately begins crying upon presenting her crème brulee, which she has turned into popcorn mousse, on blue cornmeal salted cornbread. Hey, sounds good to me. It sounds good to the judges, too. They like it very much, and chide her for shooting herself in the foot before anyone has tasted her food. Ron presents a giant mass of a fish croquette in a popcorn soup. I can't comment on its flavor, but visually, it's the furthest thing from "fine dining" we'll see tonight. A lot of chefs have severely undercooked meats (Keriann's magical ribs included), and who knows if that's related to the stadium cooking equipment or not; it's never addressed.
Judges' Table. Despite her emotional swings, Katie lands in the top three, along with Gregory (for his roasted duck with peanut sauce) and Melissa (for her corn and ramp soup with fried calamari). It's time for the increasingly less-rare double win, as Gregory sweeps the week. Meanwhile, Keriann's undercooked ribs and Ron's off-putting fish croquette have sunk them to the bottom, where they're joined by Katsuji, who once again has made a dish where he's thrown everything except potato peelings and paint chips in. The fish croquette is the worst culinary sin, and Ron is sent packing. He's a perfectly nice person, but I don't remember a word of his good-bye. Meanwhile, back in the Kitchen, Aaron has had enough of fighting with Kariann, and picks a fight with Katsuji for a change. I look around for a single molecule of caring, and can't find one.
Overall Grade: C
Saturday, November 01, 2014
Sugar Imperatives and the Shortbread Concierge
Four Courses Podcast - Episode 10
Autumn! Autumn! Autumn! It's passing by too quickly. While we've still got it in our clutches, we've packed another episode full of seasonal goodness, so put on a sweater and go listen to Episode 10.
Topics include "No Menu Monday" at Home Wine Kitchen, a new semi-regular segment about our favorite drinks of the season, the majesty of soups and stews, and the food traditions of Halloween. Dibs on all the Mr. Goodbar! We close with Kyle's advice on stocking up the freezer for the cold months ahead, and given the sudden shift in temperature, it has come none too soon. Please enjoy, and feel free to drop a line to fourcoursespodcast@gmail.com with any questions, comments, feedback, or suggestions!
Autumn! Autumn! Autumn! It's passing by too quickly. While we've still got it in our clutches, we've packed another episode full of seasonal goodness, so put on a sweater and go listen to Episode 10.
Topics include "No Menu Monday" at Home Wine Kitchen, a new semi-regular segment about our favorite drinks of the season, the majesty of soups and stews, and the food traditions of Halloween. Dibs on all the Mr. Goodbar! We close with Kyle's advice on stocking up the freezer for the cold months ahead, and given the sudden shift in temperature, it has come none too soon. Please enjoy, and feel free to drop a line to fourcoursespodcast@gmail.com with any questions, comments, feedback, or suggestions!
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