Pilgrimage

Top Chef - Season 12, Episode 6

Previously on Top Chef: Head-to-head challenges allowed the chefs to work out some petty rivalries, and revealed that given the way they plan their strategies, you could probably beat them at chess pretty easily. Adam got caught in a Judge-22 for not assisting his weaker teammates, but that was quickly forgotten when the pimple on the face of this season was finally popped, and Aaron got booted to go abuse people off-camera. Nine chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Monday Morning Quarterback Session. Everyone is thrilled that Aaron is out. Melissa talks about her girlfriend back home, and I'm immediately convinced she's getting the axe tonight. P.S. - I'd hate that haircut on most people, but Melissa really makes it work somehow. While the chefs are still rolling out of bed and getting ready for the day, Season 1's Tiffani sneaks in to surprise them. It turns out today, there's a pre-Quickfire challenge that'll test the chefs' athleticism. Oh, hooray. If there's one thing this show should attempt to hearken back to, it's that ridiculous triathlon from the terrible Texas season.

Actually, this one isn't too bad. Tiffani takes the chefs to a very pretty cranberry bog, and tells them that they'll have to wade out to the berries, fill some buckets, and bring them back to fill a crate. The first four chefs to fill their crates will earn an advantage in the Quickfire. Here's a spoiler for you: Katsuji is not one of those four, but let's count our blessings; he didn't succumb to the heart attack he was clearly about to have if forced to do much more physical activity. The top finishers wind up being Katie, Adam, Gregory, and Dougie. OK, let's get back to the Kitchen!

Quickfire Challenge. The chefs will be making a cranberry dish, obviously. This is fortuitous! I've been looking for interesting new ways to incorporate those into some recipes. The four top finishers' advantage is that they'll have access to more high-end, extensive ingredients than the other chefs, who must work with the basics. Immunity goes to the winner. Ready? Go! When the dust settles, Adam's cranberry-gathering skillz have not done him much good, as he lands in the bottom three for burning his food. He's joined by Stacy, who has underseasoned her dish, and Katsuji, who appears to be addicted to serving improperly-cooked meat. For the good news, Doug is in the top three for his cranberry-glazed pork tenderloin. Mei is also praised for her cranberry-sauced sweet and sour pork. Yes, please! Even that can't take the top spot, which goes to Katie for her wonderfully-inventive cranberry borscht. I'd be curious to taste that.

Elimination Challenge. In the same vein as the cranberry Quickfire, it's another Thanksgiving-related challenge. I will never get tired of watching these people pretend that holiday meals are happening in real time, and that they're not cooking and eating a Thanksgiving feast in, say, August. I'm on record as saying this season is one of the most boring to date, but I do have to say, this Elimination Challenge ranks among my favorite holiday challenges that the franchise has ever done. The chefs will be going to a local historical site (the Plimoth Plantation) and cooking one, big dinner, using only ingredients that the original settlers/Native Americans would have had access to. The diners will be descendents of both the original colonists and the Native tribes. In addition, all the cooking equipment will be of the time period, as well. That sounds very difficult, but I'm genuinely looking forward to seeing the dishes, which I can't say about any other episode so far.

Stacy video-chats with her boyfriend, throwing a wrench into my confidence that Melissa is in trouble. Side-note: I know the editors use this type of footage to provide background info on the chefs and/or to provide foreshadowing of the episode, but is anyone in the audience actually interested in them? That is to say, does anyone give a good goddamn about how Melissa's girlfriend, Stacy's boyfriend, or Kariann's kids are passing the time while the competition is going on? I'm not mad or anything. It's just a weird reality show convention.

Food prep. As expected, working with fire pits and cauldrons and iron spike spits proves to be more challenging than the parameters that many other challenges impose. Ingredients include things like wild greens, meats like goose and rabbit, and shellfish. Somewhere along the way, my family has picked up the habit of having oysters at Thanksgiving. I had no idea we were being so traditional! Despite all the hurdles the chefs must clear in this challenge, every single dish they make looks incredible. The judges and the diners are all blown away, and I actively wish I could be at that table. After the meal is over, the judges agree that this week's elimination will come down to minute details, since nobody out-and-out screwed up.

Judges' Table. Even among a table full of great dishes, some managed to rise above the others. Doug's slow- and spit-roasted rabbit, Katsuji's butternut squash with poached lobster, and Mei's cabbage roasted with duck fat and trout vinaigrette all get top marks. We're starting to get a good idea of these chefs' strengths and weaknesses, but I just can't get a read on Katsuji. Some days, he appears to be a creative, culinary wizard. Some days, he appears to not be able to scramble an egg. It's odd. It gets even odder when he wins the challenge, which surprises me. Not that his dish looked bad. It just seemed fairly simple compared to the other two. Now, for the bad news. As foreshadowed by those photos and phone calls, both Melissa and Stacy tumble, Melissa for an overly simplistic vegetable dish and Stacy for too much earthy grit in her clam dish. They're joined by first-time loser Gregory, who had issues with cooking his goose. No, I won't make a wordplay joke about that. You're welcome.

I have half an idea that since this is such a warm challenge about tradition and gratitude, nobody will be eliminated. They've done it before. Plus, all the food was good. If they were going to do a non-elimination episode, now would be the time. But as a lot of turkeys have come to know, Thanksgiving requires sacrifice. Stacy, please pack your knives and go. She has a refreshing exit interview, in which she is neither sad nor bitter nor regretful. Honestly, she seems relieved to be finished. She's happy with her placement, saying that she thinks she did her hometown proud. I like her, so I won't give her shit about Boston being happy with ninth place. So, happy Thanksgiving, all! I'm grateful for many things, but if we're keeping it to show-related issues, I'm thankful that this season has finally given us an episode worth watching.

Overall Grade: B+