Reap What You Sew

Project Runway - Season 3, Episode 4

Previously on Project Runway: A bunch of dramatic bitches overran the workroom. And there were some dogs, too! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Angela set out to prove that women are still anxious to look like hookers from 1981. Keith's ego started to become apparent to... Well, everyone except the viewers, who have already known about it for about a month. Bradley alternated between running around like crazy and being sunk in quiet despair. On the runway, Keith pretended that he'd made an outfit for the dog, and was displeased to discover that his charm does not extend to making the judges overlook ignoring half the challenge. Uli won the day, and though it looked at first like our cute hippie was about to be eliminated, Bradley surged into the top three, leaving Katie to take the walk of shame. 12 designers remain. Who will be out tonight?

Opening credits. I love how the contestants were probably told to be funny or charming or challenging in their intro bits, and Bradley just throws up his hands and shrugs, like, "I have no idea what you want from me." He's adorable.

Morning. Uli and Bonnie speculate on whether the women will have to move in together now that Katie's gone. They don't really care, as long as they don't have to hang out with Angela. Ouch. Quick shot over to Angela, and good God. Does the woman own anything BUT those hideous, short, poofy skirts? Jesus. She interviews that she wants to bounce back from the last challenge. And presumably the one before that. Jeffrey interviews that he's upset that he hasn't won a challenge, and that the judges don't understand him. Wah wah. He goes on to say that the judges love Keith, because Keith's main attribute is that he's a master bullshitter. Well, I don't disagree, but I also think Keith's clothes have been much, much better than Jeffrey's in pretty much every challenge, so this just comes off as sour grapes.

Runway. Heidi enters with another one of those annoying, perky "yoo-hoo!" calls. She tells the designers that their next challenge will be designing an outfit for INC (International Concepts), which is a division of Macy's. I've never heard of INC, so I don't know whether to believe Angela when she talks about what a big deal they are. Alison and Jeffrey nod at each other like they already know what they're going to do. Tim will fill them in on the rest of the details, so the only thing left to do is the Pointless Model selection. But wait! They're mixing it up! Thank goodness. The first week, models were assigned. The second week, everyone picked one. The third week, the previous challenge winner got to pick between the winning and losing models (the silly system from last season). And this week, everyone gets to pick again, this time with the knowledge of having seen these women walk in several challenges. A big thumbs up to the producer who decided to fix this.

Uli gets to choose first, being last week's winner. She says that she likes Lindsay (So do I, actually. Something about her eyes.), but that she's going to switch to Nazri. She squeezes Keith's shoulders compassionately as we hear her interview that Keith has had an advantage having Nazri the whole time, so she just took her. Heh, there's a little bit of the snake in Uli. The rest of the designers are picked randomly. Kayne switches from Katia to Amanda. Amanda had got to be thinking she was getting eliminated tonight (being Katie's model), so her wide grin is understandable. Now that Katia is free, Michael jumps from Alexandra to her. Bonnie sticks with Marilinda. Keith's model has been taken, so he takes Camilla away from Angela. Another understandable wide grin. Angela takes Clarissa from Bradley. This time, it's a very understandable non-grin. Laura sticks with Katie. Vincent sticks with Jia. Jeffrey sticks with Javi. Bradley takes Lindsay. Alison tells Toni it was nice working with her, then jumps to Alexandra. That just leaves Toni and Danielle the Sevenhead on the runway, with Robert to pick between them. He unsurprisingly sticks with Danielle the Sevenhead, so Toni is sent packing. Shot of Alison looking guilty. Eh, she made the right choice.

In the workroom, Tim introduces Mehmet Tangoren, one of probably many vice presidents at Macy's. Mehmet tells them that their challenge will be to design a three-piece look for INC. There's some blather about what an INC customer is looking for, but it's really just a weak excuse for some product placement. I'll just say that it's mass-produced clothing, so the designers would do well to reign in their more...artistic impulses. Tim tells them that they'll be working in teams of three. Thud of Doom, although the designers really don't appear to care that much. Angela interviews that this will be a chance for her to redeem herself. I'm not sure if she's talking about her ugly clothing or the fact that she was a shrill, loathsome harpy in the previous team challenge. Everyone will pitch their ideas to Mehmet, who will select four team leaders. They get a dossier with some typical INC clothes, and have half an hour to sketch. Go! We hear from Robert, Keith, and Bonnie about how confident they are in this type of challenge (and from Angela about how she doesn't really sketch as part of her design process). I wonder who the team leaders will turn out to be? Time runs out, and the designers head off to Macy's.

The pitches begin. If the glazed look on Mehmet's face is any indication, Jeffrey's tattoo-o-rama has doomed him from the start. Laura tells Mehmet her ideas sprang from the fact that she likes shopping. She suggests black pants. Alison talks about skinny jeans. Uli wants to make a coat. Keith's idea is a convertible tank top that can be pulled down and used as a dress. I don't get it. Bonnie charms Mehmet with talk of tunics. Michael talks about modified cardigans. Robert likes trenchcoats. Bradley explains his color palette, starting with "nut". Hehehe. Kayne. "I love color. I'm from the South." Er, ok. In that vein, I have brown hair, so I'm going to go make some waffles. OK, I'm back. Vincent thinks gray is the new brown. Has anyone said a sentence that makes complete sense in two minutes? Angela says that her inspiration is the Empire State Building. That's it, and everyone gathers to hear who the teams leaders will be. Why, it's the very four people we heard from before! Uncanny! Robert's sketches were impressive. Bonnie understands the customer she's designing for. Keith's colors are on, and had a good presentation. Angela had good inspiration and color choices. The other designers already have a look of panic on their faces. Michael and Kayne have interviews that basically boil down to "That was weird, because Angela suuuuuuucks." Jeffrey hopes that he won't wind up on her team. Not only for the clothing issue, but because he hates her guts.

Commercials. OK, Bravo. You can plug it endlessly, and you can stick it in weird spots on the schedule so that people stumble upon it accidentally, but you cannot and will not make me watch Work Out.

The four team leaders line up to pick teams. Tim randomly picks names out of the bag to determine the order. Angela gets to pick first. The other designers try to make themselves look as inconspicuous as possible. We hear another Jeffrey interview about how he really hopes he doesn't wind up with her. I mean, funny as it is to slag on Angela, it's not as though he's that much better, so maybe he shouldn't break his arm patting himself on the back just yet. She picks Michael. His reaction? "When Angela picked me as a teammate, I was kind of like, 'Awww....daaaaaaayum.'" Hehe. Robert picks his BFF Kayne. Keith takes Alison. She thinks it's because she's an expert sewer and knows more about construction than him. Bonnie takes Uli. Angela snags Laura, so she really has quite a good team going for her. Laura and Michael are excellent, both in creativity and in construction. Robert takes Vincent. Whaaaa? Keith takes Jeffrey (that's second-to-last, so this is about the seventeenth time Jeffrey has been smug, then immediately been smacked down for it - awesome). Bradley says that being picked last was horrible, like the kid being left out at kickball. Awww. He's welcome to come over. I'll cheer him up. He shuffles off to Bonnie's team. Bonnie interviews that she's worried, because Bradley was kind of a mess in the last challenge. Tim lets the designers know that the winning team's design will actually be put into production and sold at Macy's nationwide, so this is a huge opportunity.

Two days. $100 per team. For three pieces? Ouch. The teams have fifteen minutes to talk before going to buy fabric. Bonnie leads a little cheer. Robert explains his design while Vincent shakes his head rudely in the background. Vincent interviews that he didn't like Robert's design at all, but went along because he's not the team leader. He leaves out the part where Robert has been in the top two and he himself has almost been eliminated twice. Angela describes her inspiration, and Laura immediately begins guiding her into selecting a color palette for fabric shopping. Alison and Jeffrey become a bit suspicious of their illustrious leader when Keith assigns the most ambitious, difficult parts of the outfit to them. Time's up, and we're off to the fabric store. Bonnie can't find the fabric she wants that's within her budget. Michael suggests a fabric to Angela that she eats up with a spoon. I love it. He and Laura are very subtly pushing her away from her own "sense" of "taste". Laura likes the direction the team is taking and the fabric they wound up with. "It was more appropriate for this particular challenge than the full-tilt boogie Angela quilted extravaganza of puff." Hahahaha! Meanwhile, Keith haggles the price on his materials down. It's set up as very suspicious, even including an interview from Jeffrey about how shifty Keith is. But if I remember correctly, Santino did the exact same thing, and nobody seemed to care. It seems to me that this little bit is included solely to make Keith look like a weasel. Keith interviews that he "always breaks the rules just a tiny bit", because he thinks he's right. That...doesn't make any sense. If he were talking about general rules, I could see where he's coming from. For instance, a sign that says that you're not allowed to take food into a theater is presumably up there because they don't want crumbs and trash and whatnot. So if you sneak in a bag of Flipz, but eat them very cautiously and clean up after yourself, no harm done. Not that, you know, I ever do that. But breaking the rules of a contest or game? No.

Workroom. Five hours left. Angela says that she's making the pants, Michael is making the top, and Laura is making the jacket. You'll note the pants have the least element of actual design in them. Laura suggests leaving a seam out of the original design. Angela agrees. I'm not even sure she notices her ideas being gently twisted by her teammates. Bonnie gets on Bradley's case to get going on those pants. She's understandably worried about his time-management issues. For his part, Bradley feels like Bonnie's being too much of a nag, and kiddingly says that it's probably because she doesn't like his beard. He spins off into his own little world, saying that she'd let up if he shaved it. Hehe. Keith asks Alison for some help. She's a little busy working on something else, so he has a tiny little passive-aggressive snit. Alison interviews that Keith's at a disadvantage, because he's never done women's clothing. I guess we're ignoring the past three weeks when he did exactly that. Jeffrey interviews that Keith makes only the most basic of clothing, but gets where he does by being charming. Kayne has a similar interview about how manipulative Keith is, and how Jeffrey and Alison have to do all his work. Time runs out.

Everyone returns to the Atlas and gets ready for bed. Kayne tells Vincent that he saw some patternmaking books in Keith's room. Vincent is pretty much aghast. Kayne gives a quick explanation for all the fashion-ignorant viewers. Thanks! Essentially, patternmaking books are a how-to for various styles of clothing. So if the challenge is to make, say, a halter top, it would be a lot harder to just do it than to flip to a chapter entitled How to Make Halter Tops - Both Edible and Otherwise. Kayne does that tired bit where he says if Keith gets to use those resources, he wants to be able to, too. He's got a valid argument against Keith cheating, but just say "I didn't want Keith to get away with cheating." Leave the "poor me" shit out, Whiny McMartyr. He talks to Robert and Michael about it, too. It seems like he's trying to drum up support for himself before he blows the whistle on Keith so that he's not labeled a tattletale. Again, I'm in complete agreement with him on the unfairness of the book thing. He's just being such a priss about it that I kind of want to smack him.

Commercials. Not that talking about whose boobs are real or fake isn't fun, but having that discussion doesn't really make one a charming sophisticate.

They never get tired of that fog-on-the-Chrysler-Building shot. Time for the shit to hit the fan. Tim approaches the suite door with the books tucked under his arm. He interviews about the show rule strictly prohibiting how-to books. Mere possession of them is enough to get kicked off the show, but it turns out Keith didn't stop at that. At one point during production, he wandered off on his own (also a rule violation) and used the internet (ALSO a rule violation). So Tim calls him out. As schlecht said, it's a little odd that this was done in front of his roommates, rather than in privacy. The only explanations I can think of are that it makes for good reactions shots and interpersonal drama (read: ratings) and that it shows the zero-tolerance policy the production has to the others. I'm sure contestants feel like they can get away with a lot of crap ("They'd never kick me off; they wouldn't have a show without me!"), and this public lashing is to make an example of such an attitude. Those are just my guesses, though. So, Tim lists off the infractions Keith has committed, and just like that...asks him to leave. That night.

Now it's time to say good-bye to the roommates. You know, the people he was trying to cheat. Let's see how he handles it. "I wanted to let you know that I appreciate your feelings about the situation, and I feel that they're valid. I apologize." Pause. Nothing pisses me off more than people who get caught red-handed doing something wrong, then tell you that's it OK that you're upset with them. OF COURSE IT'S OK. I DON'T NEED YOUR APPROVAL TO BE ANGRY. Kayne, not content to leave it at that, tells Keith that he brought it on himself. Thanks, MOM. Robert is a little less...condescending. He says that it's a competition with extreme odds. Keith says that his reputation has been tarnished, he's off the show, and he's going to be a laughing-stock to his friends (intimating that he doesn't need this additional lecture). Ooh, Keith! You left off the part where nobody will ever want to work with you again. He goes on to interview that people under a lot of stress look for a scapegoat. Sure, man. Anything to help you sleep at night. He says he never used the books to gain an advantage (which isn't the point, but take note at how he looks down at his lap when he says that), and that he's sure he would have made it far in the competition were he not leaving. I agree with him, but only because they'd keep him around as the pompous villain before his grand elimination. He says he's disappointed, because he still had some tricks left up his sleeve, which is pretty much the poorest choice of words he could possibly have used. Bye, Keith! Enjoy being a pariah!

Morning. Everyone goes into the workroom, where Tim holds an impromptu meeting. He tells the other designers about Keith's books. There's a shot of Kayne, and I know that I really have no right to be pissy with him for blowing the whistle, but something about the look on his face just makes me want to slug him. Tim goes on to say that Keith has been asked to leave, and it looks like Angela was the only person who hadn't already been told what was happening. Heh, that makes sense. Laura has an interview in which she shakes her head in disgust. "Keith. What an asshole. I'm glad to see him gone." Have I mentioned that I love Laura? More important news. Poor Alison and Jeffrey have to carry on with Keith's design by themselves. Yeesh. Alison looks like she's about to crack. Uli gives her a hug. Aw. Still, Alison excuses herself for a few quiet tears in the hallway before getting back to work.

Six hours left. Bradley adjusts something on the pants while Uli and Bonnie kid that if he messes it up, he's so out of there. "I'm a fish out of water. I'm a squid with no ocean. I'm an eagle with no sky," Bradley says in an interview before cracking up. I really want a T-shirt with "I'm a squid with no ocean" printed on it, and a little cartoon squid in the background. Meanwhile, Kayne thinks their team's outfit is looking a little too flight attendanty. They discuss ways to work around it. Robert interviews that Vincent kept disagreeing with his suggestions, and he responds that Vincent is certainly entitled to his wrong opinion. Hehehe. OK, I give up. I know I got a really bad vibe from Robert at the beginning of the season, but he's grown on me. Vincent continues to interview that he's just letting aspects he doesn't like roll off his back, but he grimaces whenever someone suggests something he disagrees with. Just because you're not voicing your disagreement doesn't mean you're going with the flow, nutjob. Speaking of nutjobs, here's some music that would most aptly be titled "Clown Goes Crazy". Yes, it's Angela, making the very little rosettes hanging off the garment that the judges hated last week. In the sewing room, Laura tells Michael that Angela's in there making her "grandma circle" things, and Michael cracks up. Laura is less amused, figuring that Angela will be dragging them down with her. "We obviously just can't stop her from hanging herself," she says despondently. They go in and basically beg Angela to not put them on. Laura has a genius brainwave and suggests pressing some black rosettes into flat circles, and using them as the buttons. Angela loves it, and agrees. She interviews that she's really enjoying the collaboration (read: she gets to ride her teammates' coattails during the construction phase, and gets to take credit for the design, should they win). Angela says that their team is exactly how a collaboration should work. Uh, huh.

Two hours remain. Tim comes in to check on everyone. He tells Robert's team that the outfit is looking a little "matronly"; always a word of doom on this show. Vincent brags in an interview about how he never liked the outfit. Maybe you could try making an outfit of your own that isn't out and out fugly before you look down on others, you snot. Tim likes the way Angela's team's outfit is coming together. Bonnie's pants have seam issues. The fabric is too wide, so it's drooping a little, making the overall effect somewhat of a sagging diaper. Bradley's in charge of the pants, but Uli interviews that the problem with the pants is more one of design than construction, so it's really Bonnie who should take the blame. She doesn't make a fuss, since she has immunity. Tim is impressed with how far along Alison and Jeffrey are. They're doing fairly well, all things considered. Alison says that they talked through every element of the design before Keith left (that is, got his ass unceremoniously kicked out on the street. Ah....let me enjoy that imagery for a second). Tim leaves, and Alison tells Jeffrey that they're going to win. Jeffrey is hesitant to agree, which surprises me. Work montage, and then time's up. Why does my workday never montage like that? I'd have all sorts of free time. At the Atlas, the designers rehash the Keith thing. Looks like it's Bonnie's turn to wear that odd tiara lookin' thing. Jeffrey hopes he and Alison can pull out a win.

Morning. Two hours to get the models ready and such. The models stream in and get fitted. Kayne interviews that the slit in the back of the skirt went up a little bit too high, verging on skanky. Bonnie worries some more about Bradley's pants. Camilla talks with Alison and Jeffrey about how they finished up on their own. Camilla has got to be upset right now. Even if the outfit wins this week, two models will need to go next week, and being Keith's model will certainly bump her to the front of the line, elimination-wise. Jeffrey and Alison are pleased to see that their outfit practically fits Camilla already. Michael takes over direction of the hair and makeup for Angela's team. Laura is pleased with the outfit, and says that Angela was a good team leader (read: got out of her and Michael's way so that the outfit would be more tasteful). Tim comes to collect everyone, and they're off to the runway.

Commercials. Dynamic networking enables collaboration. Gee, any other irritating corporate buzzwords you'd like to shove down our throats, AT&T?

Runway. Heidi rehashes the challenge, and says that although Keith had to go (ahh.....), there will still be an elimination tonight. She introduces the judges: Vera Wang (jeez - is Michael Kors ever coming back?), Nina, and Mehmet. Let's start the show! First up is Angela's outfit, modeled by Katia. I think. It's cute. There's a short, collared jacket (with the black rosettes used as simple ornamentation) over a pink top, and black pants with wide belt loops. Laura and Michael really deserve some kind of medal for wrangling this outfit out of Angela.

Next is Robert's outfit, modeled by Amanda. I don't like the jacket at all. It's frilly and bunched, and has messy looking bows hanging off of it. Underneath the jacket is a rather severe collared top (with matching cuffs) and the skirt with a slit that is, indeed, far too high for such an outfit. The top and bottom aren't too bad, taken separately, but as a complete outfit, this isn't good. Next is Bonnie's outfit, modeled by Nazri. The coat is boring, and she never takes it off to reveal exactly how the pink shirt and brown pants below work. It's not an ugly outfit by any means, but I just don't see any creativity there. Alison and Jeffrey's outfit. I don't understand what's going on at the waist. There's a white top, and at the bottom of it are strips of fabric that look like they can be pulled up to form a tank top. That's what the original design intent was, but when it's not acting as a tank top, those fabric straps are just...hanging there. It's not cute. The rest of the outfit (a dark gray jacket and black pants) is quite nice.

The designers step onto the runway. Scores are tallied. Will the following teams step forward? Jeffrey and Alison. Angela's team. These two teams have the highest scores, and Heidi is going to keep them on the runway for some questions. Robert's team and Bonnie's team have the lowest scores, but are excused for the time being. The models emerge. Mehmet loves the proportions of the rosettes at the collar and waist. Angela explains her Empire State building inspiration. Michael points out the jacket lining fabric that the judges may have missed before. Everyone loves it. Heidi thinks that Angela's team made an outfit that looks very expensive for their meager budget. Jeffrey says that he and Alison worked together really well, considering how much pressure they were under. Mehmet really likes the pants, and I didn't see the little slit at the bottom of those, with shiny buttons attached, but they're cool. Alison says they incorporated some stretch into the pants so that people can move a little more easily. Heidi tells the designers that once a winner is picked, the winning outfit will be put in a window display at Macy's flagship store. They won't know which outfit it is until they show up there tomorrow morning. Nothing is mentioned about immunity for the winner. They're dismissed.

The loser teams are brought out. The judges have Nazri take the coat off so they can actually, you know, SEE THE OUTFIT. They disapprove of the cowl neck sweater, and hate the fabric she has chosen for the pants. Nina says that she doesn't see anything "hip" about the outfit. And isn't "hip" the first word that springs to your mind when you think of Macy's? Uli says that the style was made with an older customer in mind. Nina says that even if the customer is older, they don't want to look older. Bradley is asked what his role was, and he responds that he made the pants. Nina asks him how he feels about the outfit. Instead of cutting Bonnie's throat, he says that what the team made is very close to the original sketch. He's neither complimenting nor criticizing the outfit (and also puts some responsibility directly on Mehmet's shoulders, since he picked Bonnie as a leader based on that sketch). I love Bradley.

Robert is asked if his team had a similar idea of designing for an older customer. He semi-agrees. Heidi doesn't understand how the three pieces fit together. They have Amanda take the jacket off and turn around. Vera points out the high seam, and Nina asks why none of the designers noticed it (which they did - they just didn't do enough to fix it). Vincent says that Robert was team leader and was passionate about his design. Kayne never says much of anything, because Nina's telling them that the designers' job is to wow the judges, and she doesn't want to see boring clothes. Ouch. They're dismissed. Deliberations. Angela's was trendy and can be mixed and matched. Jeffrey and Alison's outfit was cool and fit well. Plus, they worked well under stressful conditions. Mehmet calls Bonnie's outfit "Triple LY" meaning "Last year's, last year's, last year." Um, witty. The whole outfit was boring. Robert's outfit was out of proportion and looked cheap. The judges reach a decision.

This week's nice thing about someone I don't like: The Women of the Second Floor haven't been hogging the damn elevator nearly so much lately.

Elimination. Uli is immune, so she's naturally in. Kayne is in. Vincent is in. Bradley is in. That just leaves the team leaders. Robert was too conservative in his color choices and proportions. Bonnie's was not fashionable. Bonnie... Is... Out. Robert is dismissed. Bonnie is sad to be leaving, saying she enjoyed the challenges and other designers. She holds it together pretty well until she leaves to go to the workroom, then cries a little bit. She's glad to have had the opportunity. Meh. The fact that I can't really dredge up any feelings about her elimination, good or bad, is probably why she got eliminated in the first place. Think about it. Do you really think Vincent (or Angela, really) is more talented than Stacey, Malan, Katie, or Bonnie? He's not. But he's crazy and wacky and fun to watch, so the people cursed with being perfectly nice and normal (and Malan) are cursed to early elimination, just because they don't scream, yell, have dismissive, snotty interviews or climb all over the furniture. In a way it's a shame, because in an episode that's mostly about how fair this show strives to be...it really isn't. But in another way, it's a reality show. This shit happens, and you should understand that before signing on to one. Bye, Bonnie. Please settle on a hair color. The next day, the two top teams stroll to Macy's to discover who won. Long story short, it's Angela. Jeffrey's pissed. The end.

Next week on Project Runway: Modernizing a look for a fashion icon. The models get into a workroom scuffle. Jeffrey and Angela fight. Robert needs a "miracle from heaven". And Michael Kors finally returns from whatever weird sabbatical he was on.

Overall Grade: B+