Watch What Happens

Top Chef - Season 3, Episode 6

No. Oh, very well. Let's watch what "happens" in this reunion episode, which has got more filler than discount hot dogs. There's a mix of contestants from all three seasons, including the most controversial people like Tiffani, Marcel, and Stephen. Oh, wait. None of those people are present. Most of the people who did bother to show up are the fangless or inconsequential contestants.

Season 1: Harold and Lee Anne continue to be wonderfully normal people, and it's great to see them, though the only interesting thing contributed is to learn a bit about what Lee Anne does behind the camera these days. Dave is also there, and are we really still talking about his frequent torrents of tears?

Season 2: A big chunk of the Bully Brigade is there, but since their adversary had enough sense to stay away, they don't have much to say for themselves. Ilan still has absolutely no concept of how to dress himself. Everyone is exactly as they were on the show, which means that the only person worth a damn is Cliff, and unfortunately, all they want to discuss with him is the joke-gone-wrong incident.

Season 3: All of the eliminated contestants so far, most of whom just mutely sit there for the duration of the episode. Micah can't figure out why people are so interested in her heritage, just because she spent 70% of her time bragging about where she's lived besides boring old America. Sandee can't understand why talented chefs get eliminated for having a bad day. Someone ought to take her to a baseball game and explain that no matter how good Pujols is, when he swings at a ball and misses, it's called a strike.

Although the hour itself was spent with delightful people, some tasty bacon-wrapped shrimp with a real kick to them, and a much-needed bottle of red, the episode was a giant waste of time, and I'm not going to waste more by writing about it in detail. See you next week!

Overall Grade: Zzzzz