Cooking by the Numbers

Top Chef - Season 3, Episode 4

Previously on Top Chef: The chefs were asked to update old-fashioned favorites for the judges, who embraced the "old-fashioned" part of the challenge by acting like cranky old codgers for the entire episode. Howie and Dale managed to score some points, but CJ's idea didn't work out, Lia didn't put enough effort into her food, and Saram... Didn't really do anything that wrong, but got chewed out anyway. Micah, despite living in every single country in the world, couldn't figure out how to make a serviceable meatloaf, and she was sent on her way. Twelve chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Opening menu. Everyone really went all out this week. Except me. I just bought wine. But really tasty wine! LabRat made Parmesan chicken drumsticks, while Timiffany got experimental with pineapple/ham quesadillas, mango/kiwi salsa, and an odd concoction of kiwi/peanut butter tortilla rolls with whipped cream. They actually weren't half-bad, though I may have been the only one to think so. Toss in some aged cheddar blocks and summer sausage, and we were all stuffed and happy.

Morning at Chef's Manor. ONCE AGAIN, we're told how much it feels more like a competition once someone gets eliminated. Chefs get prepared for their day. Lia interviews that she's one of the younger competitors, but has the drive to win. Howie hopes the others have a new perception of him, now that he's actually won a challenge instead of flailing at the bottom. He's a little reluctant to give up his underdog status, but seems to be in a much better mood. The chefs give a little cheer, and head out for the day.

Quickfire Challenge. The chefs come into the Kitchen, where Padma and a well-dressed man await. There are tables set up with several different cocktails in martini glasses. I hope it's not too early. I like to drink, too, but I do not need to be knocking back rum at nine in the morning. Dale gets excited for the challenge, because his last consulting gig was "mixology" and food-pairing. Ah, "mixology". When I first ran across this hideous term, it simply meant "bartender". I guess people with insecurity issues needed to make their jobs sound more important. But now, "mixology" has taken on new life. Just as wine stewards have taken to calling themselves sommeliers, "mixologists" fancy themselves experts at pairing certain types of mixed drinks with certain types of food. It's not a bad idea in general, but that insecurity (along with a fair amount of pretention and arrogance) kicked back in, so "mixologists" try to sell the idea that it takes a highly sophisticated palate to suggest an appletini to someone eating pork or whatever. Casey is nervous, knowing her wines, but being less experienced with cocktails.

Padma introduces the Quickfire's guest judge, Jamie Walker. He's the "global master mixologist" for the gin company that sponsors Top Chef. See what I mean about the pretention? "Global master"? He makes drinks with gin in them. Speaking of which, he's made a wide array of drinks for today's challenge. The chefs will need to create an appetizer to pair with the cocktail that they get. They'll choose cocktails by drawing knives. Jamie tells them how important it is to balance flavors, then dutifully recites his product placement script. The chefs pull their knives, and Padma gives them thirty minutes to taste their drinks and whip up an appetizer. Get going, scrubs!

Hung, you'll be surprised to hear, runs around like a gazelle. Everyone picks up their drinks, and sips at them daintily. Dale got a glass of sherry, which is pure alcohol, so he wants to make something that will cut through that flavor. He chooses foie gras, which causes a few noses to wrinkle at the viewing party, but which I love. Yay, liver! Camille has gotten a chocolate mint martini, and she thinks the sweetness may give her some problems as far as pairing food with it. Dallas Joey has a roasted pineapple and vanilla martini, which he enjoys mightily. Casey, on the other hand, has pulled a strawberry balsamic rickey, and doesn't even know what that is, exactly. Being an inquisitive sort, I spent thirty full seconds researching it on the web. No, no, don't thank me. The warmth from the fact that I've spread knowledge through the world is just reward for my sacrifice. Most of the rickeys I came across are a combination of lime juice, gin, and carbonated water. Rickeys with other ingredients all seem to branch off of that one. I didn't see any reference to strawberries, so maybe this is breaking new ground in the field of "mixology". Exciting! Not having any experience to draw from, Casey's brain frantically cross-references strawberries with everything else in creation, and comes up with the idea to make a kind of French toast as her appetizer.

Hung disdains the challenge, because hard alcohol doesn't go with the "fine, elegant, refined" food that he cooks. Says the guy who works in a casino. The pretentious twat alarm goes off for the second time this episode, and we're not even through the Quickfire yet. Hang on, I've got to go add Pretentious Twats to the Awesome Band Name list. OK, done. Actually, I kind of feel Hung on this one (hehe -- I said "feel Hung"), because he drew the raspberry and mint martini, which I've got to admit is pretty damn froufrou. His appetizer has a cream sauce of some kind, and he interviews that "sweetness always goes with creaminess". More on this in a second. Time runs short, and everyone goes into their usual hyperdrive mode. The chefs plate up, and time runs out.

Padma and Jamie go down the line. Wichita Joey has made a caramelized diver sea scallop and some jasmine rice risotto to go with his pineapple/vanilla martini. This year's contestants really like their scallops, don't they? Jamie likes, but doesn't love it. Howie has made some very pretty balsamic-glazed diver scallops (see?) and topped them with arugula, blueberries, and grapes (to go with a watermelon/chili martini). Jamie enjoys it. Hung has paired his raspberry mint martini with salmon and salmon skin, with a sour cream and lemon balsamic sauce on the side. Sounds tasty, although... Well, we'll still get to it in a second. Jamie finds the drink too sweet for the dish. Moving on, he notes that CJ is tall. Can't slip anything by the "global master"! CJ's drink was the lemon bomb, and he's paired it with caramelized watermelon, grilled avocado, and squid. I'm not sure how I feel about caramelized watermelon, but it looks good, overall. Jamie thinks the drink calls for richer, bolder flavors.

Dale has paired his sherry with seared foie gras, candied parsnips, oranges, and rice wine vinegar gastrique. After tasting it, Jamie says he knows it'll work well with the drink even before sipping it. He sips, then agrees with himself. Tre has the strawberry basil martini, and has made sumac and black pepper halibut with smoked sea salt and watermelon. I didn't know people could cook with sumac. At any rate, it looks really, really good. Jamie seems to agree. Casey has followed through on her French toast idea, and made it with a baguette. She's also made pecan-crusted foie gras and a raspberry sauce. Hmm. Foie gras and raspberry? Jamie says that it works very well.

Decision time. Padma asks for the bad news first. Minneapolis Joey's flavors were too robust and heavy -- almost clumsy. Hung's flavors were "muddled", and he would have done better to work with "richer, stronger" flavors. "So sweetness didn't go good [sic] with creaminess? Thank you," Hung says mildly. Then, in interview, Hung says that Jamie was just confused, so he "called [Jamie] out". OK, now we can settle in for a minute. First of all, "called him out"? Hung's response to Jamie was so meek, he's about to inherit the Earth. He barely asked for a clarification, let alone issue some sort of challenge. But the real issue here is that yet again, Hung has decided that because someone didn't like his preparation, they must be a complete nimrod. As I said, Hung's Quickfire entry sounded pretty tasty. If it had been on its own. But salmon, sour cream, and raspberry mint liquor? Eeeeew. Does he seriously think that all creamy textures go with all sweet flavors? Macaroni and cheese with a Hershey's bar? A cup of blueberry yogurt with peanut butter cookies? Sorry you're not the golden boy in every challenge, Hung, but perhaps you could get over yourself just a wee bit.

There's a lingering shot of CJ, so perhaps he's the third person in the bottom, but we never hear a word about it. On to the good news. Casey worked well with her "botanical" flavors. Tre's looked too light at first, but worked really well with the drink. Finally, Dale had a difficult drink to work with, and handled the balance deftly. Jamie gives a proper dramatic pause before announcing the winner of the challenge -- Casey. The other chefs applaud. They're certainly more polite than last season's batch of self-entitled, whiny losers. Not that I'm still bitter. Casey snags immunity for her win, so she's settled safely for the rest of the episode. She interviews about how happy she is to have won, and we get an inkling of why she wears so many headbands and hair scarves. When Casey's hair isn't pulled back, the effect is just a little bit soccer-mom-at-the-mall. I'm just happy she doesn't drone on about how she's still going to give it her all in the Elimination Challenge.

Speaking of which, here it is. Padma tells the chefs that they'll be dividing themselves into teams of three. Each team will create one course of a four-course tasting menu. Each course must be a trio based around a single ingredient. Hey, good challenge. Lia interviews that it's been all individual challenges up to now, and nobody knows what people will be like once they're forced into a group. Oh, I'd wager that some of these folks don't play well with others. The chefs will have two hours to cook at a local restaurant, and the meal will be served to ten members of the Pretentious Twat Dining Society. As an added cruel (and thus welcome) twist, the chefs aren't assigned teams, but have ten minutes to pick them for themselves. Brian suggests just putting everyone's name into a hat and drawing for teams. Aw, nobody's getting picked last at this kickball game. The initial idea is that the first three people drawn are a team, and will have the first course. It turns out to be Camille, Brian, and Lia. The next bunch is Howie, Dale, and Casey.

That's all we see for now, and people try to decide what they're going to make. It becomes a clusterfuck, as multiple teams want to take on a fish course. As with every other person in the history of this show (except Marisa, God bless her entertaining incompetence), nobody wants to even get near dessert. Dale points out in interview (freshly shaven) that nobody really knew the ins and outs of a tasting menu. We, the audience are never let in on the hallowed rules of such a menu. He finally gets fed up with the dessert cowardice, and volunteers to switch with someone on the fourth course. He manages to pull Saram and Camille into his team, and after the shuffle, Casey is now on a team with Howie and Albuquerque Joey, who you'll remember aren't the best of friends. She's aggravated by this turn of events. After escaping the dessert team, Hung wonders why they have to do dessert at all, since it was never specified in the challenge instructions.

The new team for the first course is Brian, Hung, and Lia. Brian likes being on a team with people as "passionate as myself [sic]". OK, I promise not to harp on it all season, but I have to get my seasonal jibe in at the "myself" crap. The third course will be CJ, Tre, and Saran. Saran thinks their personalities will mesh very well. As we know, Dale, Saram, and Camille are attempting the dessert (i.e., fourth) course. They discuss ideas. Camille actually gets a few precious seconds of screentime, as she interviews that she's not in her comfort zone, since she doesn't have a recipe to work off of. She thinks she's done enough baking to get through the challenge. Back on the second course, Casey, Howie, and San Diego Joey are clashing a lot more than the other groups. Wow, who could have predicted that? Howie notes how odd it is to have to work with people that you're trying to beat. I get being competitive, but surely he recognizes the usefulness of temporary alliances, right? He's never played Risk before?

Commercials. I don't see the point of advertising the gas mileage of your truck if said mileage is going to be that unimpressive.

Back at Chef's Manor, the teams reconvene to talk over more ideas. Guess which team has trouble with that. Go on. Yes, while Casey contentedly munches on a sandwich, Howie and Philadelphia Joey are getting over their dislike of each other to bond over their disdain of her. Fargo Joey goes inside to ask Casey to come out and talk over their food for the challenge, but she has the gall to want to finish eating before getting back to work. God, what a bitch! Her teammates construe this as her not caring about the challenge's outcome, since she's got immunity. OK, so once she comes outside and gets into a discussion of what they're going to make, all is well, right? Don't be silly. No, her talking about ideas for the challenge is construed as taking too much of a leadership role. Howie thinks someone with immunity should just take a backseat and not make waves. Coming from anyone else, this would be fine. From the guy who may as well have a string in his back that causes him to say "This is a competition! I'm here to win, not make friends!" every time you pull it, it's not as fine. You don't get to be ultra-competitive, then whine that your competitors aren't doing enough for you. This team's a mess.

Night falls. Camille enjoys the hot tub. And...scene! The next morning, the chefs get half an hour and $150 to shop for supplies. Lia thinks that $150 is really not that much to create a "fine dining" sort of menu. Saran agrees that everyone is stressed out over the budget. Hung runs around, as usual. He, Brian, and Lia find that the scallops they were going to buy are frozen solid, so they opt for shrimp, instead. Casey, Howie, and Houston Joey find that duck is expensive, so they opt for tuna, instead. The beef for CJ, Tre, and Saran is pricey as well, so they buy the smallest cut they can. Dale, Saram, and Camille are going to base their dessert trio around pineapple. Multiple teams probably have to put things back once they reach the register, but we're only shown Team Tunaville, as they're forced to part with various ingredients to make the budget.

We cut straight to that evening, as the chefs file into the restaurant where they'll be preparing the meal. Lia wants to get started right away, since Team Shrimpsalot will be serving first. Brian doesn't have a lot of work to do, as his shrimp will served raw, and he describes the progression of Team Shrimpsalot's trio as increasingly strong flavors. Team Tunaville keeps on struggling, as Casey runs out of soy, and has to borrow more from Howie. She reminds herself that you'll probably always have to work with someone you don't like. Montpelier Joey interviews that although they're in teams, everyone's being judged on his or her individual dish, so he's concentrating on that. Team Beefy is going from light to robust flavors for their beef tenderloin trio. Saran thinks that everyone's really on edge for this challenge. Camille knows that Team Sweet-Tooth didn't have to make dessert, but that a four-course tasting menu usually includes such a course. Saram thinks they're making good progress, but says that they're all having some issues, due to their lack of experience in pastry-making. Dale interviews that he loves Camille, but that her cakes just aren't working out.

Ptom comes in to Ptimewaste. Team Shrimpsalot is doing fine. Team Beefy is doing fine. Team Sweet-Tooth admits that their experience is limited, and Dale says that it didn't make sense not to have dessert for such a menu. Ptom tells them that it sounds great. Team Tunaville can't seem to take two steps without something flaring up. Howie describes the trio to Ptom as a meld of Eastern and Western flavors. Ptom ascertains that Hattiesburg Joey's dish incorporates soy, then walks away. Somehow, Carson City Joey interprets this as Ptom thinking that there's no way his dish will work. I don't see how he arrived at that conclusion, but whatever. He just does what he does best, and starts pissing and moaning, whining that Ptom is always looking for a way to ruffle his feathers, and that he'll "fucking go home". Again, this is in response to a question about the use of soy. Nothing more. God, he's such a fucking baby. Casey is similarly disgusted, as she interviews that Albany Joey takes everything as a personal attack.

Twenty-eight minutes left. Tre offers some ingredient or other to Saran, who doesn't need it, but she thanks him, using the polite address "chef" (pretty much the same as "sir" or "ma'am" in the kitchen). Aw. Saram is working with powdered gelatin, which she's never used before. Her inexperience bites her in the ass, and whatever she's making will not solidify in time for service. She reverts to Plan B, which is to turn the mixture into a semifreddo. Team Shrimpsalot is all atwitter with getting their food plated.

Commercials. I think I'll go elsewhere for my ice cream if Cold Stone Creamery insists on filling their stores with their patrons' deepest nightmares.

The Pretentious Twat Dining Society comes in and gets seated. Their outfits are adorned with colored sashes, chains, and various medals, because they're JUST THAT CLASSY. One guy looks like Chip from Season 4 of The Amazing Race. So much so that I think it may actually be him. The judges are also there, of course. Nothing against Ted Allen, but is Gail ever coming back? Hung knows birds of a snobby feather, so he's really happy to serve such "elite" people.

Tiffany: "Eat a bag of dicks."

Padma introduces Barton G. Weiss, who owns the restaurant, and will serve as guest judge for the Elimination Challenge. The Pretentious Twats toast each other, and settle in for their meal. Team Shrimpsalot finishes plating with seconds to spare. Lia thinks she did well this time around. They take their plates out to serve. Their shrimp trio starts with Brian's raw pink shrimp in ceviche marinade, with radish and some caviar. Ooh, it's been a while since I've had caviar. It looks so good. Next is Lia's shrimp poached in olive oil, which is garnished with avocado, cucumber, candied lime, and a grilled Poblano pepper salad. That also looks good. Finally, Hung has sauteed shrimp with corn pudding, a bacon and corn salad, and shrimp foam. Aaah, not foam! Unpleasant flashbacks! After they go back to the kitchen, the diners dig in. Everyone seems to enjoy the trio, though Brian's may be a tad salty. Overall, Lia seems to have impressed everyone the most.

Team Tunaville still can't catch a break, as Casey is off doing whatever when it comes time to serve. Howie is disappointed in the team, and feels they could have accomplished more. They take their trio out to the diners. First is Casey's tuna tartare, accompanied by a bird's nest of cucumber and jalapeno. Howie has made coriander-crusted ahi tuna with blood orange marmalade, cilantro salad, and shiitake mushrooms. One of these days I'm going to make Top Chef bingo cards, and blood oranges are definitely going to be on one of those squares. They use them in everything! Hartford Joey has made a confit of tuna, with fire-roasted cherry tomatoes, shallots, and bacon. They retire to the kitchen. Howie's marmalade is apparently a bit strong, and Casey's dish may have worked on paper, but is weak in execution. Ptom points out to the Pretentious Twats that Casey has immunity, so even if she propels her team into the bottom, it's one of her teammates who will get the axe. Dramatic!

Team Beefy takes out their tenderloin trio. That beef looks perfectly cooked. Mmm. Tre is very happy with the team, and predicts that they may see the judges later as winners, and no way will they wind up in the loser bunch. Casey compliments their food as they take it out to the dining room. First in the beef trio is CJ's beef carpaccio with sherry vinaigrette, a "cigar tuile" made out of phyllo pastry, and some parsley oil. Saran has made butter-braised beef tenderloin with white truffle sauce. There's also some asparagus and carrots on the side. Tre has made a black pepper and rosemary-seared beef tenderloin with a sherry reduction, and there's also a mushroom risotto cake. I know Tre's not getting a lot of attention in this episode, but everything he's made sounds absolutely fantastic. Once they're gone, Padma compliments the beautiful presentation. Tre's food goes over very well, but one of the Pretentious Twats doesn't like Saran's, because it's like roast beef you could "get at Denny's". Yes, many is the evening I've stumbled into Denny's at three in the morning and gotten a heaping plate of filet mignon. Pretentious twat.

Team Sweet-Tooth plates up. Dale isn't happy with his presentation. Everything is a mess, and he says that although all the flavors were fine, he'd be better off serving his dish to a bunch of blind people. Camille is equally unimpressed with her own pineapple upside-down cake. She says it's a fair one, given the time constraints. Wilmington Joey makes fun of the dessert course, because he's been such a model of taste and professionalism tonight. He does have the grace to say that he respects Team Sweet-Tooth for taking such a chance by making dessert. A point to him for that. Dessert is served. First up is Saram's pineapple semifreddo with pistachio and ginger, and also some blueberry sauce and a pineapple reduction. I'm not sure if her idea turned out as well as she'd hoped, but those ingredients sound lovely. Dale has made a "free-form tropical tart".

Tiffany: "When I was in Key West, I was a free-form tropical tart, too."

Dale's tart is made of macadamia nut pastry with some hibiscus-marinated raspberry, vanilla coconut cream, and roasted pineapple. Camille has made a pretty sad-looking pineapple upside-down cake with a ginger sabayon (or zabaglione). The chefs head back to the kitchen. Dessert is not a hit. We get our first whine that the chefs didn't have to do dessert, but Ted seems to appreciate that they took a chance. Saram's semifreddo just tastes like frozen cream. Camille's cake is "hideous". MaybeChip calls it an English dessert, which is "dreadful". Nobody says anything about Dale's tart, so it was probably fine. Dale interviews that Team Sweet-Tooth put their asses on the line by doing dessert, and he's proud of himself for not doing a "tune tartare or a little seared piece of beef. That's the kind of shit we can do in our sleep." Hehe. I'm liking Dale more and more these days. He thinks the other teams played it safe, and hopes to get some points for risk-taking. Padma thanks the Pretentious Twats. Howie is worried about his chances. Blah blah Casey's immunity. Yep, it's been covered, thanks.

Commercials. Don Cheadle with a '60s fro. Yes, please!

Judges' Table. Padma reiterates that this was the first team challenge. Ptom thinks the chefs did a pretty good job, overall. He says that the teammates had to come to a consensus on what ingredient to focus on, taking the opportunity to give us another rousing whine about dessert. Ted also points out that nobody told these people they had to make dessert. OK, here's as good a place as any. Dear judges -- You may do one of the following two things, but not both:

1) Piss and moan that chefs are playing things too safely, not going out of their comfort zones, or are playing to stay in the game, rather than to win.

2) Shoot down a chef every time they try to do something different and aren't perfect at it, be it making a barbecue dish that wasn't cooked in the traditional method, creating a chicken a la king that's not reminiscent of its ancestor, or attempting to make a dessert when that's not the chef's forte.

PICK ONE. I can't count the number of episodes that Ptom rumbles on and on about people playing it too safely. And then, when Team Sweet-Tooth takes him at his word, and tries to accomplish something difficult, they're practically ridiculed. If dessert was truly heinous and inedible, that'd be one thing. I'm all for taking contestants to task for bad cooking. But this is more a matter of attitude. Ptom's eyes practically rolled out of his head when he mentioned Team Sweet-Tooth's pineapple. He honestly appears to be thinking "What could have possessed them to cook something they're not experts at?". And I have no proof of this, but I'm convinced that had nobody tried to make dessert, we'd be sitting at Judges' Table, listening to a disappointed dad lecture about how underwhelming and safe everybody's dishes were. This season has been pretty good so far, but its worst flaw is this arbitrary and hypocritical judging.

So anyway, nobody liked dessert. The shrimp course was far more popular. Barton thinks Hung's tasted fine, but looked a little off, including that damn foam. Ted says that he liked the foam, and that it brought a lushness to the dish. Lia's reviews aren't as mixed. Everyone liked hers. Brian's could have used a little bit more contrast, but was good as well. In fact, the entire shrimp course was "poetic". It's agreed upon as the favorite of the evening. Padma goes back to the Kitchen and summons Team Shrimpsalot to the table. They're told they are the winning team. Brian mentions how the team was originally going to work with scallops, but that they jumped to shrimp. All three of the team members are given glowing reviews. Barton gets to announce the individual winner, which is Lia. She grins. As a prize, she gets to go work at a charity event.

Tim: "Next week, the winner gets to come over and mow our lawn."

Lia is very pleased with her win, but isn't allowed to savor it much, as Padma sends Team Shrimpsalot back to the Kitchen to call the loser teams to the table. Unsurprisingly, it's Team Tunaville and Team Sweet-Tooth. There's no odd Asian music to herald their arrival this week, but I'm happy that the traditional gong is still present. The judges start with Team Sweet-Tooth. Ptom says that all three desserts were pretty bad. Padma asks if the chefs collectively felt that there should be a dessert course. I can't tell if she means collectively among these three people or collectively among the entire group of chefs. Dale answers that you can't have a tasting menu without dessert, and cops to the initial idea of using pineapple. Ted tells him that they jumped on a really big sword, and Dale replies that if they had shown that they were more versatile chefs by making pastry, they'd have a leg up on the competition. "Very big if," Ptom sniffs. Ass. Barton tells them the flavors and textures were off. See, if they had just stuck to saying things like that, I'd be perfectly happy. Saram talks about her issues with the powdered gelatin. Insert seemingly endless loop about "taking chances" and all the same blather we've already endured about the chefs' lack of experience with dessert. Camille is asked about her cake, which the judges thought was rubbery. Ew, really? Camille semi-disagrees, saying that she thought her cake was fine, as it came out with a consistency similar to that of a muffin. Ptom jumps in with even more "Why did you do something that you're not that familiar with?", and OH MY GOD, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

LabRat: "Camille is a three-legged zebra in a room full of lions."

Thankfully, we can move on to Team Tunaville. Ptom asks about the lack of cohesion in the team. Howie says that they had to change their main item, because duck was too heavy for a four-course meal. What the hell does that have to do with cohesion as a team? Both he and Seattle Joey think they did fairly well, if not great. Ptom "cuts to the chase", and tells them that they're there because Casey's dish was so weak. How fortuitous that the chef with immunity is responsible for dragging her team to the losers' table! That doesn't sound contrived at all! She's asked if she put forth her best effort, and says she did. She does admit that when she ran out of soy, she completely forgot to add regular salt, and thus underseasoned the tuna. Ted also tells her there were some consistency issues.

Neither of the other two tasted Casey's dish until after it had been served, and Padma snipes that they should have, since she had immunity. So she thinks someone should have been making sure Casey wasn't being lazy or intentionally making something crappy, I guess. Howie says that he took a "leap of faith" in that he assumed his teammates could handle their own dishes. Casey's eyes are already brimming with tears. Ptom twists the knife a little, telling the guys on Team Tunaville that he doesn't know why they're not tasting each other's food, as there's a "50/50 chance" that one of them is going home. Except that there are 5 people up for elimination, so really they each have a 20% chance of getting cut. Maybe you should nail down that basic math before smarming off, Ptom. Heh, you can always tell when I'm pissed off at him; I get really pedantic about minutiae. Casey pipes up about the "guilt blanket" the judges have laid on her. Hah! Nice! She says that she really likes the others, and that immunity really isn't worth it if someone gets eliminated due to her dish's failing. Not that she does anything so stupid as to give it up. Well played, Casey. The chefs are dismissed.

Back in the Kitchen, she tells the others that she'd be eliminated if she were eligible, and she starts to cry again as she heartily apologizes to Howie and Jackson Joey for putting them in this position. Aw. I hope they feel bad about all that talk earlier about how Casey didn't care how the team did, due to her precious immunity. Deliberations. It's a rehash of all the criticisms we've heard already. The judges reach a decision.

Commercials. I'm all for new technology, but I'm not sure it's a good idea to own a phone on which historical figures can reach you from beyond the grave.

Elimination. That's quite some skirt Saram's working under her apron. This seems to be becoming the point in the show that Ptom tries out a crappy Pun of the Week that my dad would dismiss as too corny. This week, it's about how the challenge was to "create harmonies", but that the chefs were "playing the wrong instruments". Wow, good one. Blah blah people should have tasted each other's tuna. Yikes, I swear I didn't mean that as dirty as it sounded. Blah blah inexperience with dessert. He points out to Dale that he convinced others to go along with the dessert idea, so he's the "bandleader". Um, you mean ringleader? Unless you're still trying to ride that "harmony" pun. In which case...stop. Dale looks like he's about to cry. Ptom throws it over to Padma for the chopping. Camille. Please pack your knives and go. Huh. That's interesting, because with all the bullshit the judges have been indulging in tonight, this is probably the correct choice. They seemed to genuinely hate the taste of Camille's cake, and lackluster food should be pretty much the sole reason (short of being completely incapable of interaction with other humans) to get eliminated on this show.

Camille isn't very affected by her elimination. She says she's sad (though she doesn't appear to be) about getting cut, but is excited (though she doesn't appear to be) about getting back to work at home. Maybe that's why she never got any screentime; she's so normal and mild. She warmly bids the rest of the chefs good-bye. Saram is openly weeping, Casey is horror-struck, Dale is guilt-ridden, and I think I even see a tear in Frankfort Joey's eye. Aw, that's sweet. She closes by talking about how much she's learned and how much fun she had. Camille wasn't very compelling television. That probably means she's a completely awesome person in real life. I wish her the best.

Overall Grade: C+