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Project Runway - Season 5, Episode 1

Welcome to the kickoff of the new Project Runway season, which for the most part gets started like...every other season of Project Runway. Timiffany's DVR actually cut off the first few minutes, but I assume that I didn't miss much. Let me guess. So-and-so has a "passion for fashion". Clothes are so-and-so's life. So-and-so gave up a lot to be here. Oh, and so-and-so? Not here to make friends:



When we join the program already in progress, the traditional toast on the roof is still going on, and we've missed several people's names. Eh, it's not that important yet. There's that one guy, and that nondescript girl, and that cute guy, and the quiet guy, and those guys who mistakenly think they're edgy, and a dude who needs to start over from gene #1, and a lady with really bad hair, and apparently, an extra from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

The first challenge, which is always about innovation, is lifted wholesale from the first challenge of the first season. I actually haven't seen the first season yet, so it's all good by me. Austin, who you'll remember won that challenge in the days of yore, is on-hand to guest judge the new designers, who have half an hour and $75 to shop for supplies in a grocery store. I guess the new crop of kids hasn't bothered to watch any of the previous seasons, because while it's totally obvious that creativity is the main focus of the challenge, many of them just pick up tablecloths and call it a day. During the construction phase, Tim Gunn blasts them all for being boring slackers, and it's a welcome return to form after episode upon episode of Tim muttering his catchphrases and leaving.

Stella has bought garbage bags to construct her dress, and is upset to discover that they're not as durable as she'd like. She falls apart during construction, having thoroughly convinced herself that she's painted herself into a corner. Terri does something very fetching with mop heads, which was an appropriate choice of material, given her hairstyle. Kelli makes a beautiful, creative dress out of paper, dye, and bleach, which Kender knew from the moment she started would turn out lovely. How does she do that? Korto is one of the chagrined tablecloth users, but she spruces up her bodice with kale and cherry tomatoes, turning out to be the sole designer to use produce. Daniel irons blue plastic cups to melt into a dress shape, which doesn't look promising at first, but really comes together. Blayne is the love child of Kato Kaelin and Gretchen Weiners. He never tires of patting himself on the back, even as he constructs a fugly mess that looks like the model just put on a jumbo Depends diaper. Jerry creates what he calls a "raincoat" over a "summer dress", but which Panny more accurately describes as "something you'd wear to clean up a crime scene". I'm not sure how he was able to pull off something boring and ugly simultaneously.

After the runway show, Kelli, Korto, and Daniel are declared the top three, while Stella, Jerry, and Blayne sink to the bottom. I find Kelli's coffee-filter-boob-explosion bodice a bit distracting, but fully support her win and attendant immunity, because the skirt part is so lovely. Stella thinks she's toast, but in a pleasant surprise, she's spared so that Jerry is booted for his raincoat monstrosity. Hey, I actually agree with both the winner and the loser! And the challenge was an actual challenge! This is a much more promising start than last season's snoozer.

Overall Grade: B+