Sunny Delights

Top Chef - Season 3, Episode 2

Previously on Top Chef: Fifteen chefs came to Miami with a dream, a set of knifes, and a fake nut. Or maybe that's just CJ. The amuse-bouche Quickfire caught the chefs by surprise, but Micah rose to the occasion. The odd proteins of the Elimination challenge threw everyone for a loop. Tre emerged victorious, while Brian and Howie had issues with the time limit. Clay's lack of cooking sophistication was his downfall, and he became the first chef chopped. Fourteen sauce-wranglers remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Opening credits (AKA: menu of the viewing party). The blueberry muffin recipe I got in high school Food and Nutrition, and has been taking over the world ever since. Oh, and booze.

A bright, sunny morning comes to Miami. I wonder if they'll ever deign to show a rainstorm. Over at Chef's Manor, people begin crawling out of bed. There's the traditional interview (from Brian this time around) about how it's starting to sink in that people actually get eliminated, and this won't just be a filmed vacation of fifteen friends hanging out for three months. He adds that after his poor performance in the Elimination Challenge, he's got to "step it up". Tally mark! As Sandee works on her mohawk, she interviews that she's fairly new to the world of chefery. I'm aware that's not a real word, but it's fun to say. Anyhow, she went from line cook to chef in two months. I can't tell if that's really impressive, or just that the restaurant she works in has some questionable standards. She's refreshingly candid about her reasons for taking part in this competition, saying that she's using it as a learning experience, and that she's taken in more in two nights than she learned in a year at home. Micah has problems getting out of bed. When she finally gets up, she grouses about having thirteen roommates, then warns the others that she's not a morning person as she flicks them off. Sweet. No wonder I felt an affinity for her right off the bat. Boo to mornings! Howie vows to bounce back from his low placement last week. Everyone wanders out.

Quickfire Challenge. After a bunch of product placement shots, the chefs come into the Kitchen, where the counters are stacked high with all types of citrus fruits. It looks incredibly pretty. Padma introduces the guest judge for the round, Norman Van Aken, who looks like he'd make a pretty good Mr. Roper. Norman is apparently a big wheel in Florida dining. I'll take their word for it. Padma tells them that the challenges this week revolve around Florida, and its sunshine. For the Quickfire Challenge, the chefs will have half an hour to prepare a dish that incorporates citrus fruit. No gimmicks! No forced teams! Just "take this type of ingredient and make something good". Hooray! The chefs will have access to anything in the pantry. Ready? Go!

Kitchen chaos. Hung almost trips over his own feet as he races for the citrus. People set up their knives and grab fruit. Saran interviews that she'll do fine as long as she keeps it simple, and should be able to make top of the pack on this challenge. A vulture bursts into the Kitchen and starts circling Saran's head. OK, not really, but it may as well have. Someone squirts something purple into a pan. Micah tells herself that working with citrus ought to be easy, but says that she had more ideas from looking at "freaking geoduck and monkfish liver" than "freaking lemon and lime". Hehehe. Hung continues racing around like he's getting a transplant organ to the hospital. Joey wrenches the cork out of something with his mouth, then tosses some fruit into the blender. He interviews that he excels at using blood oranges and key lime wedges. Glad to hear it. Tre makes me cringe as he slices some tangelos, because he's coming awfully close to slicing open his palm. He reiterates his opinion from last week, that Hung is his only real competition. Hung agrees, calling himself and Tre the two "favorites" so far. I'm not sure there can be a "favorite" after one Elimination Challenge, but who am I to burst his bubble? He actually pulls a pan of Tre's off the heat when he thinks it's done. Interesting.

More chaos. Chefs run around and collide. Tre explains that it's the first time everyone has all cooked at the same time, so it's crowded in there. A gas stove burner refuses to light. Sandee has trouble getting her torch started. Jeez, GE appliances must be as shitty as Kenmore's were. Anyone make kitchen equipment that works these days? Hung says that the one working stove flame is his. Casey looks for ginger. Dale hunts for the pepper mill that is shown on the floor, with its contents spilled like it's a murder victim. With five minutes left, Saran opens the shrimp she's planning to cook. They still have their shells on them, and aren't deveined. One wonders why she waited twenty-five minutes to even look at one of her key ingredients, but whatever. She's not happy. Time winds down, and everyone goes into hyperdrive to get things plated. Time runs out.

Padma and Norman go down the line. CJ has made pan-seared perch, and put it onto a bed of carrots, radicchio, oranges, and hazelnuts. Norman notices that there are orange seeds in the dish, and asks CJ if that was intentional. CJ is honest, and tells him that those slipped by. Heh, it would have been funny if he tried to pass that off as part of his dish. CJ calls himself a jackass in an interview. I'm liking me some CJ these days. Casey has done a new spin on a s'more (just like she did a "new spin" on chicken-fried steak last week - enough with the new spins). She's incorporated vanilla/tequila cream, and some blood orange and key lime. Norman says that it's good, but doesn't have enough focus on the citrus elements. Sandee has made a citrus trio: key lime mojito, a grapefruit brulee with shrimp, and orange-encrusted sea bass. The drink looks kind of nasty. There's a ton of stuff floating in it. Aside from that, everything looks fine.

Micah has made a spicy avocado citrus soup with caramelized red grapefruit. The consistency is very thick, and Norman rather pissily asks if it's really a soup. Micah interviews that she was going for soup, but it wound up more like pudding. Ew. Lia has made crab salad with sourdough croutons and a grapefruit vinaigrette. Mmm. I wish I found Lia more interesting, because everything she's made so far has sounded really good. Padma bites down on something that isn't a crouton, but probably a bit of crab shell. Whoops! Lia's embarrassed. Dale has made a citrus salad incorporating watercress, endives, shaved fennel, goat cheese, and lemon poppyseed (I guess as the dressing?). The plate looks kind of messy and unappetizing to me, and Norman thinks it could have used some olive oil. Saran interviews that she wasn't expecting Norman to be so critical in his...critiques. We all look at each other to make sure we heard that correctly. Saran may be a few swings short of a playground. She's nervous about how her dish will be received. She doesn't explain it well to the judges, but she's made a blood orange and tangelo citrus salad with shrimp, and a honey tangerine vinaigrette. Hmm. Maybe her presentation is off, but that sounds pretty good to me. Norman takes a bite, and doesn't even say anything about the food. He just tells her she needs to be clearer in her explanations.

Quick interview from Hung about how he's definitely going to win this, because a bunch of the other dishes are "slummy". He's made slow-roasted sea bass, a watercress and radish salad, and a "citrus crumble", which is composed of blood orange, tangerine, and oranges. Norman likes it. Tre has made hot and cold salmon. One is raw king salmon with a macadamia nut pesto. The other is coriander-seared salmon with fuji apple salad. Norman calls them "very clean; very nice". At no point is any citrus fruit mentioned. Howie has made vanilla-butter poached lobster tail with a citrus salad. I hate to agree with Hung, but he's right. A lot of these dishes are awfully "slummy". Norman likes the lobster's texture. Brian has made Alaskan halibut with blood orange and pomegranate molasses. It looks beautiful and sounds extremely good. Norman says it has "very good flavors". Joey has made a fennel salad with blood oranges, and a watermelon drink with Grand Marnier and coriander oil. That's all the entries we see, so poor Camille is ignored again. Are we sure she's even on this show?

Padma asks Norman for his bottom three first. Saran's dish had no focus. Sandee's mojito flower garnish was obtrusive. Norman doesn't want to pull aside something that's just there for looks. Really? That's the entire reason she's in the bottom three? Whatever. She makes a funny "Aw....crap!" face. Micah is also in the bottom three, for preparing an "unremarkable bit of food". She interviews about the "complete roller-coaster" of winning the first Quickfire, then falling to the bottom in the second. Now, to the top three. CJ's dish was "complex, but coordinated". Hung and Tre continue their winning streak by also being in the top three, Hung for his flavors, and Tre for his smart thinking. So, Sandee's flower is enough to put her in the bottom three, but CJ leaves seeds strewn throughout his food, and he's in the top. Casey gets taken to task for not enough focus on the citrus, yet we never even heard a single citrus ingredient that went into Tre's, and he's in the top. I sense my respect for Norman's opinion ebbing. Ultimately, Hung's prophecy comes true, and he wins the Quickfire and immunity. The other chefs applaud. Tre looks peeved. Joey thinks he did a tremendous job on his dish, and he's pissed he's not in the top three. Joey pissed off? I'm shocked. Also, I'll remind you that aside from the shot, he made...a salad. Just like Lia. And Dale. And Saran. And Howie. Not exactly head above the crowd, there, Joe.

Elimination Challenge. Padma explains that they'll be celebrating sunshine in another way. The chefs will be cooking at a glamorous champagne barbecue, thrown by another guy in the Miami Food Pantheon named Lee Somethingorother. Hung recognizes the name. The specific challenge is to come up with an upscale barbecue entree that will be served to the "sexy and sophisticated" crowd at the party. The chefs will have $200 to shop, two hours to prep tonight, and two hours to cook at the party itself. LabRat: "You can't make good barbecue in two hours." Tre is from Texas, and says that gourmet barbecue is right up his alley. Howie says he's got to claw his way back to the top by impressing Miami socialites. I enjoy how utterly unimpressed he sounds about the party, while still recognizing that he's got to kiss a little ass.

Commercials. "There She Goes" is officially overplayed as background music. Plus, I heard it's about heroin addiction, so stop using it as some hippy-dippy ode to womanhood.

When we return, it's time to go shopping at "Fresh Market". Not shown? "Rotten Market" next door. I guess they wouldn't pony up the cash for product placement. Saran recaps the challenge. The fact that she's being given so much screentime this episode does not give me great confidence in her continued participation on this show. Chefs stampede to the meat counter. Sandee asks for lobster tail. Saram opts for Italian sausage. Casey explains to us that everyone went to the meat counter first because the entire dish is likely to be centered around whatever protein is bought. Makes sense, although wouldn't the chefs have some idea of what they were going to buy before they got to the store? I guess they didn't want to risk putting off going to the meat counter, then finding out the other chefs have snagged all the pork chops or whatever. Casey asks CJ's opinion about how many slices of meat can come off one piece. He's buying the same meat, and tells Casey he's not helping her out on this one. Casey takes it gracefully, tossing a little ghetto-speak in for good measure. Hung buys flank steak. Brian sees the other chefs buying red meat, and chooses to buy seafood instead. "Go big or go home," he says. Tally mark!

Micah is wandering around kind of aimlessly. Instead of buying meat, she's picking through the produce. She says she feels like dog shit, and is in a foul mood in general because she misses her daughter. As far as meat goes, she just buys the first one she comes across, which happens to be lamb. Saran buys rib-eye, saying she's going to do a Vietnamese barbecue dish, which will be great if it works out. She asks for twenty pounds of meat, and Hung reminds her that 20 times 10 is 200. I guess that means the rib-eye is $10 a pound, and if she gets that much, she won't be able to buy anything else. She swears, and cancels half the order. Yeah, Saran is having some issues this week. Shopping montage. Hung dashes around. CJ can't find his shopping cart. Everyone checks out.

Back at the Kitchen, the chefs start their two hours of prep time. People spring into their slicing and chopping as fast as they can. Hung runs around some more. Someone cut down on his intake of Pixy Stix. He gives the required interview about how immunity doesn't mean anything, and he's still going to blow everyone away. Just once, I'd love to see a chef say "I have immunity, so I'm not going to bust my hump here." Hung opens a refrigerator, and a dish falls out and crashes on the ground. "I didn't do it!" he Family Circuses. Lia describes Hung's sprints around the Kitchen as dangerous. Probably, but I'll bet it'll lead to some entertaining collisions. Hung wipes up the mess, then goes back to his food. Brian throws his seafood into the blender to start making sausage out of it. He seems fairly confident that it'll work out all right. Tre is working on another salmon dish. This one is glazed with peaches.

Limecrete: "That looks good."
Tiffany: "Oh, you like anything with salmon. He could put crap on top and you'd like it."

Tre interviews that he's not arrogant or pompous, but that he's a serious competitor, and doesn't lose. Um, that sounds pretty arrogant and pompous to me. Being a serious competitor means giving your all whether you win or not. He tells Micah the folks back in Texas will be none too pleased if he doesn't excel at a barbecue challenge. Chopping montage. Sandee eschews regular barbecued chicken, and is trying for a more upscale route by preparing lobster pancetta with vanilla bean bacon butter sauce. My arteries just seized in terror. Micah is still not in the best mood. She shrugs that if she gets eliminated, at least she can go home and see her daughter. Yes, we must all once again decry that practice of men driving around in white vans, kidnapping people and forcing them to be on reality shows at gunpoint. Casey interviews that she wasn't sure if Micah's just upset about missing her daughter, or is still unhappy about screwing up the Quickfire Challenge. Casey is fast becoming the Greek chorus of this season. As she works, Micah tears up a bit. Hung disdains her crying, saying that she shouldn't use her daughter as an excuse.

Limecrete: "I hate to say it, but I'm with him on this one."
LabRat: "He's still an ass."

Ten minutes left. Howie is preparing Jamaican jerked pork. He's worried that it may not be elegant enough for the challenge, but it's too late to turn back now. He talks about being a perfectionist, and not stopping until everything's right. Saran slices Scotch Bonnet peppers, not knowing that they're one of the hottest peppers in the world. She soon finds out, as even allowing them to touch her skin sends her running for the cold water. Time runs short. Hey, who's that lady wandering around the Kitchen? They really shouldn't let just anyone off the street get in the way of... Oh, that's Camille, who has yet to utter a single word this week. Chefs start packing up their food. Time runs out. Saran wanted to pickle some cucumbers overnight, but knows that the Scotch bonnets that are mingling in there will make them inedible. At this point, I'm totally convinced Saran's getting eliminated tonight. Well, at least she realizes she shouldn't serve the peppers, and isn't all "Oh, who cares? I'll just let the guests set their tongues on fire."

Commercials. No, Jerry doesn't need Quiznos. What Jerry needs is some reconstructive surgery to get rid of the most disturbing pair of lips I've ever seen on a human being.

The next morning, Tre does pushups. Hung does pushups. Because they're competitive with each other, but so far above everyone else! Get it? You guys, if Hung and Tre turn out to be the final two, I'm gonna be kinda pissed. Please don't telegraph the winners from the first freaking episode. Joey and Sandee chat about being able to serve all sixty guests. Sandee doesn't think it'll be a problem. Joey goes back in, and Sandee does a bit of kickboxing, as she voices-over about wanting to come back from her low Quickfire placement to win. I wish she'd started that kickboxing while Joey was still standing in front of her. Brian and Hung decide to dress up a bit, given the "upscale" challenge they're participating in. Everyone else seems rather tickled by that. No wonder. Dale looks like he's about to dance in the "Physical" video. Saran is stressed out. She doesn't want to embarrass herself or damage her reputation. Yeah, let's ask Betty how business has been since she showed the world how unprofessional she is. The chefs head out.

Bikini-clad babes stroll up and down the beach. All the men are in those long-ass board shorts, of course. Sigh. The chefs haul their coolers of food into the party site. It's got a pool on one side and the shore on the other. There's a grill set up for each of the contestants, along with bag upon bag of lovingly product-placed charcoal. Everyone stakes out a grill. The two hours of cooking time begins. Being out by the water has calmed Micah down, and she starts to feel better. Saran and Micah have issues getting their charcoal lit. I admit I prefer to let others get the flame going myself, but isn't it just stacking the charcoal in a pyramid, dousing it with lighter fluid, and setting it ablaze? Saram attempts to overcome the child safety button on her lighter. Hehe. CJ hunches over his food, telling Lia that no offense, but this is about the only time he wishes he were 5'3". Yeah, I often wish I were taller, but there are some advantages to being short. Let's see you try and stretch out in an airplane seat, CJ! Someone closes the lid on some mighty tasty-looking sausages.

Ptom stops by to do a little Ptimewasting. I'm not sure why Ptom has such an attachment to leaving an extra button open on his shirt all the time, but I wish he'd stop. I guess I should just count myself lucky he's not going for another animal print. He verifies that Hung isn't going to sit back and enjoy his immunity. Tre is throwing his salmon on the grill when Ptom stops by. He's not nervous in the least, saying he could do this in his sleep. Not that he's arrogant or pompous! Ptom asks Brian what he's up to. Brian's brain: "Like I'd tell you, so you can rake me over the coals (pun intended) later if I have to deviate a bit from the original plan." Brian's voice: "It's a surprise." Ptom's a bit put out. Joey is making grilled chicken drumsticks. No, really. The same chicken drumsticks you could buy in the dive bar down the street. The same chicken drumsticks you could make in your backyard in twenty minutes while getting plowed on hard cider. Ptom straight out asks him if he thinks it's gourmet enough for the challenge. Joey says it isn't, but that it's barbecue, so it's supposed to be fun. Uh, huh. Micah and the hat she stole from my grandfather tell Ptom that she hopes she'll be on her game for this one.

More beautiful shots of grilled meat that make me glad I just ate dinner. Ptom doesn't understand what Sandee's doing. Her lobster doesn't make use of the grill at all, which makes her food seem out of place, or as Ptom puts it, it's like "putting lipstick on a pig". I thought that expression meant unsuccessfully trying to make something beautiful out of something ugly, not that something's out of place. Never mind. In the time it took me to type that, I completely lost interest. Ptom believes Howie started cooking his pork too early, and that it may turn out dry. Bottom line -- whoever is the most organized will come out on top. Thanks for that fascinating insight. Cooking montage. The judges come in, followed closely by the party guests. Saran decides to relax and have fun. Slip them some of the hell peppers, Saran! No such luck. Guests approach the chefs to load up on food. Brian does a good job of serving and schmoozing at the same time. And then... Hey, Camille gets to talk! Wow! She says she had some problems cutting up her food to serve while keeping the grill going. She's made grilled swordfish with chorizo, and an artichoke potato salad. That sounds really good, though the shot they show of it isn't very appetizing.

Micah says it's more difficult serving sixty people than it would be to serve ten or fifteen. Another fascinating insight! The things I learn from this show. She's made lamb with grilled halloumi (Greek cheese), fire roasted tomato, and pomegranate sauce. The guests seem to love it. Lia has made a lettuce wrap with grilled shrimp and an Israeli couscous salad. Zzzzz. Casey has made strip steak with a smoked Cheddar polenta, some shrimp wrapped in bacon, and a tomato salad. I'd be curious to try that polenta. Ptom approves. CJ has made New York steak with salt-baked pineapple, a lentil puree, and dirty rice. Sounds great, though again, the shot of the steak they show us makes it look fatty and gross. Saran presents her Vietnamese barbecue, which is rib-eye with pine nuts on top of a radish/cucumber salad. It's very pretty. Padma loves it. Brian finally lets the judges in on his seafood sausage, which is made up of scallops, shrimp, and seabass. There's also a ginger/jicama slaw with a chili glaze. Padma tells Brian he has very nice sausage. And she likes the food, too! *rimshot*

Tre presents his peach-glazed salmon, which is on top of a crab and avocado salad. A guest takes a bite, curses, and hurriedly puts the plate down, telling Tre he needs some acid on the dish. Rude, much? It tickles me how much this show tries to pass off parties as upscale and classy, then fills them with guests who are crass, pretentious jerks. Sandee serves her poached lobster, which is wrapped in dates and served on a black truffle slaw. Aren't black truffles horrifically expensive? How did she get those? CJ interviews that setting lobster that's been braised the day before on a grill that's not being used isn't a barbecue dish. I have to agree. Gail stops by Howie's grill to try his Jamaican jerk pork tenderloin, which has mango slaw and a citrus vinaigrette on top. Howie realizes that his pork is, indeed, a bit dry. He knows he hasn't done the best on this challenge, but hopes it won't be a disaster, either. Joey interviews that he heard that Howie's meat tasted like sawdust, and if you try something like that in New York, you're going home. Oh, is Joey from New York? New York is where Joey hails from? The city in which Joey lives is called New York? But wait... What city does Joey consider home? Oh, well. I'm sure I'll figure it out one of these days.

Speaking of Spokane Joey, he serves up his grilled chicken drumsticks. His effort to make it upscale is calling it "Korean", though we never hear what makes it such. There's also a charred corn, tofu, and bean sprout salad. A random guest likes it. Hung serves Norman. First off is a drink which is made of champagne, watermelon, citrus, and berries. Then there is flank steak with grilled corn salad (that also incorporates heirloom tomatoes), and bagel chips. That all sounds good, but there's nothing very special about it. Anchorage Joey is pissed off, because Hung's made the "fucking exact same fucking thing" he made in the Quickfire. Except that Hung used champagne, not Grand Marnier. And there are berries in Hung's drink, and there weren't in Oakland Joey's. In fact, the only thing that's the same is the watermelon. No matter. Lansing Joey is convinced that Hung is a "kiss-ass" and moved to Vegas, because he can't "hang" in New York. New York! That's where Joey's from! Man, I wish he didn't keep it such a secret. He should tell us more often that he's from... Oh, darn. I've forgotten again. Hung interviews that there's always watermelon at a barbecue. Indeed, I went to one this past weekend, and made sure to take some watermelon along with me. But I guess once someone has used watermelon, anyone using it from then on is a giant copycat. And Phoenix Joey's got the trademark on Top Chef watermelon, right? Oh, wait. Knoxville Joey throws in some passive-aggressive barbs at Hung, who sniffs in an interview about how he didn't realize Salt Lake City Joey had a "patent" on it. That's three times this week I've found myself on Hung's side. That can't be good. Casey rolls her eyes and interviews that when it comes to Helena Joey, things going wrong are "always somebody else's fault". It does my heart good to see that the rest of the chefs hate him as much as I do. The guests leave, and Padma thanks the chefs, then nags them to clean up.

Commercials. No. "Greatest actresses of our time" and "Claire Danes" do not intersect at any point.

Judges' Table. The judges enjoyed the barbecue, and agree that tonight's decision is going to be tough, because nobody did an out-and-out bad job. Everyone's food was "of a certain standard". Gail thinks Hung's dish was probably the simplest. Tre, who's been a strong performer up to now, didn't do so well today. Padma found his fish salty, while the other chefs take the opposite tack, and found it bland. They all agree with Rude Woman that he needed some acid. Which is exactly what was wrong with his hamachi last week. Get hip to the acid, Tre! Sandee's dish wasn't barbecue. Padma loved Brian's seafood sausage, and Norman thinks it encompassed the "high-end" part of the challenge quite nicely. Gail enjoyed the flavor and utility of Saran's dish. Ptom liked it a lot as well. So, she's not getting eliminated? Wow, they pulled the wool over my eyes on that one. Micah's flavor combinations and presentation were good.

Padma comes back to the Kitchen and gravely summons Saran, Brian, and Micah to the table. They're nervous, although I don't believe they've ever brought out the bottom chefs first. They're pleased to hear they're the top three. Saran is looking awfully shiny this evening. She's very charming as she tells the judges how surprised and honored she is. She tells them she wanted to make something simple and elegant. Gail tells her how she appreciated how easy to eat it was. Brian's "eccentric" ideas may not have worked in last week's challenge, but turned out nicely this time around. Micah says that lamb is as important to a South African barbecue as hamburgers and hot dogs are to an American one. Gail tells her the pomegranate sauce added a brightness to the dish that "took it to the next level". Tally mark! Norman is gratified that Saran and Micah, who were in the bottom of the Quickfire Challenge, managed to spring back. Not gratified enough that either of them win, though. Brian takes the victory. Requisite interview about how it's great to win, but that there's no sitting back and relaxing in this competition.

Padma sends the top three back to the Kitchen. The chefs clap for Brian. Saran tells them that the judges would like to see Howie, Indianapolis Joey, Sandee, and Tre. They file into the judging room. Padma informs them that they're the bottom four. Tre is asked why he thinks he's there, and he correctly identifies the salt issue. Norman says that his expectations of Tre were high for this challenge, and that perhaps Tre phoned this in a bit. I think that's exactly what happened. Tre's been floating along on a cloud of his own awesomeness, and got cocky. I'm hoping this splash of reality will bring him down a peg or two, so that I can like him. Chicago Joey thinks that making chicken wasn't elegant enough. Gail clarifies that making chicken is fine; it's that he did nothing special with it that's the problem. Also, his food was extremely hot, and hard to pick up. He says he'll do better next time. Sandee is shocked she's in the bottom four. Ptom tells her it's because she really didn't prepare barbecue, and that he couldn't really taste her lobster. That sounded dirtier than I intended. Sandee nods. Norman says that the sweetness of the dates crushed the delicacy of the lobster. Gail agrees that all she could taste was the butter. Sandee apologizes for disappointing the judges. Howie guesses that his dish was too simple, and that his food may have been dry. Gail asks what he'll take from this if he doesn't get eliminated. He says that he hasn't cooked to his full potential yet.

Padma asks Dayton Joey if he tasted any of the other bottom-placed chefs' food. He tasted Tre's and Sandee's. So who should be sent home? Howie. Hahahahaha! With every word, he becomes a bigger moron. His reasoning is that this is the second time Howie's been in the bottom, and also that he heard that Howie's pork was dry. Padma reiterates that Lincoln Joey never tasted Howie's food. Nope, it's just word of mouth. Howie snaps that Des Moines Joey has done a lot of complaining in the last twenty-four hours, and that if Howie gets eliminated, Raleigh Joey will join him soon enough, because leadership isn't about "pointing fingers". OK, I agree he's an ass, but the judges did ask him who should go home. It's not like he just volunteered this opinion. Of course, Lee Anne was asked that question multiple times, and managed not to be a dick about it. Padma dismisses the chefs.

Back in the Kitchen, Boise Joey decides he's not going to take Howie's criticism lying down (because being in a competition "brings out the animal in him". Translation: "Trying to cover up the fact that I'm a dickwad would take too much time and energy"). He tells Howie to "be a man". I guess that means meekly accepting Joey's suggestion that Howie go home after admitting he didn't even try the food? Howie yells back that Pierre Joey should be the fucking man, because he's not going to get shredded with the judges, then come back to the Kitchen and shake your hand. I never saw any indication that Baltimore Joey wanted to be friendly once they came back to the Kitchen, but whatever. He goes for the ultimate reach when he says that Howie's lucky that both he and Norman are from Florida (unlike Joey, who's from somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, if I remember correctly). Yeah, that's totally what'll save him. Geographic similarity. I wasn't kidding when I said that Augusta Joey gets stupider with every word he utters. I'm kind of excited to see how far it'll go. They snipe a little more, and Howie completely shuts Reno Joey down. Awesome.

Deliberations. The challenge was upscale barbecue. Sandee's wasn't barbecue. Little Rock Joey's wasn't upscale. Tre's wasn't the best, but he at least worked within the challenge's parameters. Howie shot himself in the foot. Ptom seems like he wants to cut Howie loose. Norman thinks that the bar has been raised, and that even the winners won't be resting easy. Ptom wonders which is the greater sin: not being barbecue enough, or not being upscale enough.

Commercials. The results of the traditionally stupid phone-in poll are blank. Maybe people finally found the good taste not to waste their money on it.

Elimination. Padma says that the decision was a difficult one. Ptom says that none of the dishes were terrible, so they have to judge on the challenge criteria. Tre's was less than successful, but reasonable. Atlanta Joey's was lowbrow. Sandee didn't barbecue. Howie's wasn't upscale enough, and the flavors were lacking. Though the decision was tough, the judges did ultimately reach one. Sandee. Please pack your knives and go. Crap. She leads the loser chefs back into the Kitchen, where the other chefs cheer. Odd. I guess they're cheering because they think Sandee's safe, but that's kind of an assy thing to do. She immediately clears up the misconception by shaking her head sadly. The chefs are completely shocked. Hung, of all people, interviews that Sandee is a really cool girl, and everyone was sorry to see her go. She hugs everyone good-bye, and they applaud her as she goes, which may be the first time that's ever happened. In her final interview, she says that she knew she wouldn't be in the upper echelon of contestants, but that she has a lot of opportunities ahead of her. She says we may not see her on television, but we'll sure see her in the kitchen. She grins. Aw, she seems pretty awesome. I'm pleased that the elimination was once again based on challenge performance, and not some weird criterion the judges made up at the last minute, but it'd have been nice to keep her around for a while.

Overall Grade: B+