Food for the People

Top Chef - Season 2, Episode 3

Previously on Top Chef: Once again, the Quickfire Challenge never existed. The chefs split into two teams to serve Asian food to a large crowd. At first, it seemed like Team Vietnam was going to blow Team Korea out of the water, simply because they were better organized, smarter, and more cohesive. But in a shocking twist, that's exactly what happened. Otto was the first to point out that Team Korea didn't pay for their lychees, so it became his fault from then on out. Marisa's bitch flag flew proud, but the stigma of the lychees was too intense, and Otto bowed out of the competition. Thirteen cakesniffers remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Los Angeles. Aaaah! The first shot is a closeup of a bee! Get that thing away from me! Dogs frolic in the streets. Over at the Cellblock, Frank is snoring loudly, despite a nose strip. Really loudly. Bringing those earplugs was a good idea. Sam looks like he wants to shoot somebody, but then, he always looks like that. Marcel takes out his earplugs and tosses them at Frank, trying to wake him up. How on Earth does Marcel's hair keep its shape overnight? Never mind, I don't think I want to know. He brags about his superior knowledge in "avant-garde molecular gastronomy". Ever watch those ITT Technical Institute commercials? Ever notice that the longer the job title someone gives themselves, the less impressive the actual job is? Yeah, me too. Betty interviews that each of the chefs has strengths and weaknesses in different areas. She says that she, Mia, and Michael are good at comfort food, while Cliff, Sam, Ilan, and Emily (though her name is awkwardly edited in -- nice attempt at foreshadowing, show) excel at "fine dining". Michael interviews that he's not trying too hard at the challenges, hoping to be in the middle of the group, so that other people don't think he's a threat. Which would be a great plan, except that he's probably about as threatening as a Tinkerbell sticker on his best day.

Quickfire Challenge. The chefs stream into the Kitchen, where they're met by Padma, who's wearing...hotpants? Whatever. Padma tells the chefs that although they may be used to working in fine dining restaurants, only 38% of Americans eat in fine dining restaurants. I'd be curious to know what defines a restaurant as a "fine dining" establishment. Can any bistro that jacks up the price of their oyster sandwich qualify? Does it have to get a certain number of four-star reviews? Does a place make the switch from a regular restaurant to "fine dining" if they call their shrimp "prawn"? Padma tells the chefs that their challenges this week will be about cooking for the man-on-the-street. Significant shots of Sam, Ilan, and Emily. The Quickfire Challenge this week will be to create an original ice cream flavor. Marisa's excited, because she excels when it comes to desserts. Panna whatta? The chefs are given access to a wide array of fruits and sweets, as well as an ice cream maker. So no struggling along like poor Harold. Heh. The chefs have two hours and forty-five minutes to make three quarts of ice cream. Cliff is nervous, having never made ice cream before. Nothing to it, Cliff. If my ninth grade science class can make it, so can you. Although I hope yours turns out less mushy. When the ice cream is finished, the chefs will serve it to people on the beach. Ready? Go!

Betty recaps the challenge we just heard about four seconds ago. Are they going to do that every week? It's really irritating. Like Cliff, Betty has never made ice cream before. She's basically flying blind. Carlos, worried about the time limit, goes for the avocados, saying that they give the consistency of eggs without the worry of having to heat, then cool them. Interesting. I love learning nifty little facts about food like that. Emily has been hearing good things about the combination of chocolate and lavender lately, so that's what she's doing. Sounds good. Sam doesn't even eat sweets (since he's diabetic), let alone make them. Cliff's just throwing together stuff that sounds good, like cookies and marshmallows and such. Ilan wants to do something different, by combining waffles and bacon. I love bacon to an insane degree, but in ice cream? I don't know. Marcel says he's working on creating new "flavor profiles". Twenty seconds in, and he's already forgotten who his customers are going to be. He's using bacon and avocados. Ilan is a bit put off to see that someone else is using bacon, but stops worrying when he tastes Marcel's stuff and finds it disgusting. His face actually crinkles in revulsion as he walks away. Marcel asks how it was, and Ilan's like "It's nice!". Hehehe. Work montage. Time winds down. Marcel is happy that his ice cream has the right consistency, because a lot of other people's are still liquid. Nobody else seems too worried that his "flavor profile" is going to blow them out of the water. The chefs pick up their ice cream and file out.

Redondo Beach. People frolic in the water. The chefs line up, and Frank notes that there are children packed in "three hundred" deep. Heh. They're actually cordoned off with one of those vinyl straps you see in banks. Emily says that she was "hoping the demographic was not going to be a bunch of snotty little kids. It was a bunch of snotty little kids. I hate kids." Officially, I should be up in arms about what sort of demographic was she expecting, and how dare she make such a blanket statement, and blah blah blah. Unofficially? That was hilarious. Padma explains that the crowd is going to vote for their favorite flavor. Get to serving!

People start eating off those little plastic tasting spoons. Betty works the crowd. We see a bunch of the flavors we didn't see before. Marisa has made vanilla peanut and swirls. Swirls of what? Help me out, subtitles. Marisa finds the challenge a lot more chaotic than she thought it was going to be. I'm not sure how this challenge could get any more man-on-the-street, so I don't understand her confusion. The kids dig Cliff's marshmallows. That's not a euphemism. Michael has combined peanut butter, jelly, and bananas. Intriguing. Betty has made berry ice cream, and is topping it with chocolate sauce. Ilan admits that people either loved or hated his bacon and waffle ice cream, but that he himself is very pleased with it. If only you could judge yourself every week, Ilan. I want to like Ilan, but he's kind of prissy. Carlos has combined avocado, vanilla, and marshmallow. He interviews that he played up the vanilla and marshmallow when talking to kids, and the avocado when talking to adults. Smart.

Sam has made a ginger snap and citrus crumble, which sounds awesome. He interviews that he was voted one of New York's ten sexiest chefs, which makes him flirt better. I'm not going to pretend he's ugly, because he's so not. But shut up, Sam. David is ten times cuter than you. Emily says Sam is going to win, because the preteen girls think he looks like Ashton Kutcher. Hahaha. And there's someone else who's inexplicably considered hot. Marcel tries to peddle his avocado and bacon, and some people don't even want to try it. He interviews that when he saw his clientele, he was worried, because what he made probably doesn't appeal to the general public. Gee, if only Padma had explicitly told them that the general public would be the ones sampling the ice cream. Curse her for telling everyone that it would be sampled by nineteenth century London bootblacks! A woman tries it and wrinkles her face in disgust. Mia gleefully interviews that she saw kids spitting it out and wiping their tongues with their napkins. Daaaamn. That's how you know how nasty this shit was. Nobody likes to do that. Josie has made a peach cobbler ice cream. Sounds good. She worries that the vote's going to be a popularity contest. Emily has made "calming" chocolate with lavender. I'm not sure what makes the chocolate calming. Did she toss some Valium in there? She interviews that one lady told her there wasn't enough sugar in it, and says that the "last thing you need with your four teeth and your huge ass...is SUGAR." Again, just envision me giving a stern lecture about kindness here so you don't notice me cracking up. The ice cream runs out, and Padma sends the chefs back to the Kitchen.

Kitchen. Padma's in jeans now, so who knows when this was filmed? Half an hour later? The next day? The chefs file in. Padma delivers the bad news first. The first person in the bottom three is Marisa, who has yet to make an edible dessert, despite it being her LIFE'S WORK. Good thing she has that "sexuality" to fall back on, eh? Also in the bottom three is Emily, so the fat-assed public has gotten their revenge. And last place obviously goes to Marcel, who'd probably have been better off combining battery acid and fingernail clippings. Now, the good news. Carlos and Sam tied for runner-up. They bump fists. And the winner of the Quickfire challenge and immunity for the week is... Cliff, for the second week in a row. See, cookies will never steer you wrong. He's pleased. Marisa sour grapes that she's less confident, due to Cliff's win, which she didn't think had anything to do with the quality of his ice cream. Now I really want to know why she thinks he won, but we never find out. Damn. It'd be nice to know just how deluded she is.

Elimination Challenge. Padma brings in the guest judge of the week, Stephen Bulgarelli, who is a senior director of TGI Friday's (aka Sure I'll Eat There, If It's The Closest Restaurant To The Movie Theater Where We're Meeting). The challenge will be to create a dish that will appeal to a TGI Friday's guest, so Marcel's probably already brainstorming about Peking duck. Marisa's worried, because she's used to making "high-end" food. And she's clearly been so great at that. Stephen expands on the challenge by saying he's looking for an entree that encompasses a childhood favorite, but with an adult appeal. The winning entree will be featured on the menus of TGI Friday's nationwide. Everyone's excited, especially Betty. Padma gives them the afternoon to shop, and two hours to prepare the food. Then they'll finish up the preparation at a local firehouse, where their dishes will be served. Josie says that she has several firemen friends, and that they're "unsung heroes". Not to take anything away from firemen, whom I deeply admire and often lust after. But they're about the most sung heroes of American society. There's just one more piece of business. Padma makes the disclaimer that Michael used to work for TGI Friday's. Shocking. He interviews that he's pretty confident in this challenge, and why not? Create chain restaurant food? This challenge may as well be called Knock Me Out of the Park, Michael. Padma says that his previous employment will not be to his benefit or detriment in the challenge, and turns the chefs loose.

Grocery store. The chefs have half an hour to shop, and $100 budget. Marcel worries, because he's not into comfort food. Well, sure he's not. He's not interested in anything two syllables or fewer. Michael interviews that he's going to make a steak sandwich, saying that firemen want a bunch of meat and potatoes. Chefs check out. This looks like a pretty high-end store, so I wonder why they're bagging their own food. Emily does her version of the "poor me, I make high quality food" aria, which I'm pretty much over by now. I don't see how chefs could learn to make specialized food without learning the basics first. How could someone know how to make rack of lamb, but not a hamburger? How could you excel at Eggs Benedict, but falter on a cheese omelet? It makes no sense to me. In any event, Emily says she's going to try and do a surf and turf. Michael stocks his cart with beer for himself. It actually puts him over-budget, and he considers sacrificing some of the cheese for his dish so he can afford his stupid booze. My eyes roll so hard, I affect the tides in Australia. Sam suggests that he actually, you know, BUY THE INGREDIENTS FOR THE CHALLENGE, but we never see if Michael relents. Sam interviews that Michael is out of his mind. Looks like his plan to not be taken as a threat is going swimmingly.

Commercials. TGI Friday's. Hey, do they sponsor this show? Uncanny!

Kitchen. Everyone gets going right away. Cliff says he's doing a twist on macaroni and cheese with fishsticks. He says he has yet to meet someone who doesn't like mac and cheese. This is where I'd insert the name of the person I know who hates it, if such a person existed. Which they don't. Because mac and cheese is terrific. Josie chops stuff as a "zen-like way" of taking out her frustrations. I opt for the video games myself. You'd be surprised how calming it is to take out a legion of zombies. Ptom comes in for this week's Ptimewasting. Feh. Betty asks if it's against the rules for him to taste her soup. He says it's not against the rules to taste it; he just can't comment on it. She says she's going to read the signals in his eyes, which he cleverly foils by closing them. They both giggle. I feel like Betty is playing Ptom like a violin, which pleases me no end. Frank tells Ptom he's making "Alice in Wonderland's Mushroom Fantasy". Hopefully, his dish won't make you shrink away or sprout into a giant. Actually, I take that back. That would be sweet. Ptom asks if his childhood memory is a drug trip. Hey, Ptom made me laugh! Surely, Hell has a new icicle. Frank explains that it's one of his daughter's favorite movies. Yeah, I haven't seen it in a while, but I remember loving it.

Ptom moves on to Emily, catching her just as she's about to take a huge bite of her food. He commends her on tasting her product before serving it. Loud sirens start going off all over the place. Not really, but they may as well have. Sam is chopping up peppers, watermelon, and pineapple. I like all those things, though I'm not sure how I'd feel about the mix. Michael tells Ptom that he not only used to work for TGI Friday's, but that his brother is a fireman. Ptom tells him he's got too many "inside tracks". He's ostensibly kidding around, but you know Ptom likes nothing better than knocking people on their supposed expertise. Marisa is making a fruit crisp. How that qualifies as an "entree" is beyond me. Seriously, do these people ever listen to the challenge? Marcel is working with pork chops, mashed potatoes, and onion rings. Sounds good. And hard to ruin. He soaks the onion rings in buttermilk, and interviews that if he were eliminated on a casual dining challenge, it would be a huge blow. If Marcel were eliminated tonight, I'd want to do some huge blow. He's working next to Betty, and lectures that the key to good breading is to keep one hand dry at all times. His voice has a kidding, almost fake "aren't I a genius" tone to it, but Betty seems to take it at face value, interviewing that Marcel's pontificating is getting on her last nerve. She disdains his lack of knowledge in the field of comfort food, saying that what truly sets a chef apart is versatility. Work montage. Time runs out. Cliff throws his hands in the air, like, "I'm not working anymore! No cheating here!" Heh.

The chefs are driven to a South Pasadena fire station. It'd be funny if the fireman were called out on an emergency during the meal, but I'm afraid that's not going to happen. The chefs stream in to meet the judges, and AAAAAHHH! What the fuck is Ptom wearing? Is that an...open leopard print shirt? Ew. Nice threads, Leisure Suit Larry. Padma tells the chefs that they'll have fifteen minutes to finish their food, and will then serve it individually. The chefs wander up to the kitchen. Firemen come in and seat themselves at tables with TGI Friday's stripes on them, like, we know who's sponsoring the show, already. Each of the judges sits with a table of firemen. Gail gets the cutest ones. Not that I can really focus on anything but that AWFUL, AWFUL shirt Ptom's wearing. A fireman says that they like meat, of course, but try to keep a balanced diet, overall.

Up in the kitchen, Michael finishes battering his onion rings, and drops them into a deep fryer. He interviews that there's no reason to get all flustered. Well, sure. Why not buy beer with your food budget? Why try to do anything creative with the challenges? This is, after all, Mediocre Chef. He puts his steak sandwiches together, and interviews that he thinks he's going to win. He heads downstairs and serves everyone, not knowing he's being greeted with the Music of Doom. He explains that there are three cuts of steak in the sandwiches, along with two kinds of cheese (ah, I guess he ditched the beer after all) and onion rings on the side. There's also some kind of dip. Au jus, maybe? Gail finds the sandwich really messy, and Stephen thinks it's overcooked. Ptom calls it greasy, chewy, and flavorless. One of the firemen thinks it's just sloppy, from presentation to taste. So Michael has pretty much blown the one challenge he should have dominated. Loser.

Marcel, you'll remember, also has onion rings, and is getting ready to put them in the deep fryer. He finds that the temperature has been turned down, and starts to complain to the other chefs that it's not hot enough. But it wasn't hot enough when Michael started either, was it? Betty interviews that instead of doing anything to fix the problem, Marcel started to "piss and moan". Elia comes back to try and help him salvage the rings, which he seems strangely ungrateful for. I guess he's happiest when he's got something to complain about. He winds up deciding that he can't serve the rings, and tosses them. This is all Michael's fault, of course. I can see not being happy when a chef turns down the temperature of a fryer or oven when they know you have to use it, but again, it's not like it was pre-warmed for Michael, who had the same amount of prep time. I don't completely understand the situation here, so I'm hesitant to be all "That Marcel is such an ASS!" Still? It kind of seems like he's being an ass. He takes down the pork chops and mashed potatoes. He says he made a mushroom sauce and some cabbage with bacon, as well. Sounds good. As long as the potatoes don't have lumps. Everyone seems to like it. Marcel comes back up and passive-aggressives some more about the deep fryer. Betty has lost all patience with him. Marcel asks if it's fair that he doesn't get to use a deep fryer, while other people get to use two. I'm so confused. What "people"? Wasn't Michael the only one in front of him? Also, two deep fryers? Where was the other one? Betty snaps that anything the chefs can do to fuck Marcel up is fair, and while I certainly have no love for smarmy Marcel and his "molecular gastronomy" and duck-ass hair, what the fuck?

Commercials. Baseball is enjoyed all over the world. Soccer who?

Sam prepares his dish. Meanwhile, the Marcel/Betty fight rages in the living room area. Sam interviews that the fight was obtrusive. Yeah, I can imagine it's hard to work when people are sniping at each other five feet away. Marcel asks Betty what he ever did to her, and if she just doesn't like him. "You're a selfish, self-centered, egotistical bastard," Betty responds. Well, that pretty much sums it up. So I guess this fight has nothing to do with the deep fryer; Betty just hates Marcel. And he is rather hateable. I just don't know if I disagree that he got hosed on this challenge. Assholes may be assholes, but they still deserve to compete fairly. Marcel interviews that he is "appalled" that Betty called him on all of these issues. He begins to respond, but Betty shuts him down, saying that she'd be happy to keep on fighting with him as soon as Sam is done preparing his food. Sam appreciates that. He goes down to serve everyone, saying that he doesn't think anyone was "as innovative as myself". I! As innovative as I! Jesus Christ, with the "myself" shit lately. Sam presents his summer fruit salad, which looks really, really good. Everyone loves it. One of the firemen likes that it's something you wouldn't eat at home, taking the opportunity to bash Michael's steak sandwich again. Another fireman is sopping up as much of the vinaigrette as he can. One of his buddies tells him he can get a straw if he likes, and Padma cracks up. Hehe. I just love having a host with opinions and a personality. And a pulse.

Emily cooks. I just noticed that she doesn't have eyebrows. What's up with that? She reiterates her unfamiliarity with casual dining food. Yeah, we've got it now. She presents her "super slamming" surf and turf, and leaves. Everyone hates it. I wonder if she hopes the "super slamming" would get her through. The main criticism is that it's far too salty. Gail can barely get it down. Really? That salty? Upstairs, everyone watches with amusement as Frank puts together his little forest of mushrooms. Michael laughingly interviews that Frank was so proud of his dish, but it wound up being a trainwreck. I guess Michael is as good at self-awareness as he is at everything else. Frank presents his dish. Gail says she feels like she's in Smurfland. Hehe. I wish she had started singing the theme song. Which is now running through my head. Thanks for nothing, Gail. The judges and firemen don't really know what to make of it, calling it bizarre. Someone (Stephen maybe) says that it would be a difficult dish to pull off in a restaurant. Ilan presents his bacon-smoked roasted corn. I really want to know how to make that. It looks fantastic. Padma makes yummy noises.

Cliff presents his "grown up" mac and cheese, with fishsticks. He's glad to have immunity, but still hopes to win the challenge. I think the producers force everyone with immunity to say that at gunpoint. Gail thinks it's spicy, and I can't tell whether she thinks that's good or bad. One of the firemen can't get enough, forcing Padma to tell him not to "bogart the plate". Josie has made Miami-style BBQ steak skewers with fire-roasted salsa. Sounds good, and perfect for a chain restaurant. Elia has made shrimp and fish tacos, with guacamole and fried beans. Meh. Carlos has made chicken-fried shrimp with corn, red pepper, and lime salad. Man, that sounds tasty. I've already had dinner, and I'm getting hungry again. This damn show. Mia has made a meatloaf sandwich with fries and a spicy ketcharella. The internet, usually so willing to give me all the information I could ever want (and more) has come up empty on "ketcharella". Your guess is as good as mine. Everyone hates the fries. Marisa somehow knows the TGI Friday's dessert menu by heart, saying it lacks a fruit crisp like the one she's making. It's made of strawberries, and has a pecan-strudel top with orange caramel sauce. I'm not the biggest strudel fan, but it sounds good. The firemen enjoy it. One of them tells Stephen that he has got to put it on the menu. "Thank you!" Stephen says, as if he just whipped it up himself.

Upstairs, Betty is having problems grilling her sandwiches. It seems the griddle isn't hot enough. Why, that's the very problem Marcel was having! And guess who's right there to rub Betty's nose in it? I'll say right now that the show never suggests that Marcel intentionally fiddled with the temperature to get back at Betty, and I've seen shockingly little conspiracy theory on this at the various sites I visit. Normally, people fall all over themselves to root out dirty dealings, but nobody seems to think this was fishy. Strange. Marcel just says that he was all up in her grill (pun intended) as an "intimidation factor". Too bad he's about as scary as a ladybug. She calls him annoying, and asks him to be quiet while she's cooking. He starts to say something else, and the rest of the chefs tell him to shut up. Cliff interviews that in Betty's position, he would have stopped cooking and punched Marcel in the head. And Cliff's one of the more laid back contestants! I'm sensing Marcel won't be taking home the Miss Congeniality crown this season. The chefs count down Betty's time and cheer when she finishes. Heh. A little lonely out there on that limb, Marcel? Betty goes downstairs to serve. While she's gone, Elia tells Marcel that every time someone says something bad about him, she always stands up for him. It turns out that they've worked together in the past. You'll note she never says that all of the things that people say about Marcel are incorrect, so I wonder what the point of her bringing it up to him was.

Marcel says that he knew he was going to be the "odd man out" in this competition. Aw, poor Marcel. It's not like he's actively trying to garner attention, say through a superior attitude or gravity-defying hair. Betty presents her dish, which she calls Bada Bing Betty. Uh, no. The dish itself is grilled cheese and a portabello mushroom soup with roasted red peppers and bacon. Everyone enjoys it. Betty comes back upstairs, saying that even if the judges don't love her food, she loves all the chefs. Marcel looks sour. Evening. All the chefs come downstairs. Padma thanks the firemen, and the chefs applaud. Padma tells them that there were some hits and misses, and that she'll see them at the judges' table.

Commercials. I'm actually going to have to stop writing this for a while so I can catch that Paula Poundstone comedy special. I love her.

Judges' Table. Ptom is still wearing that hideous shirt. Stephen recaps the challenge, and Gail asks him how he feels about the results. He says that he thought there would be a lot more "excitement and adventurism". I'm sorry, "adventurism"? Hearing that caused me physical pain. Stephen says that one dish had the innovation he was looking for, which was Sam's fruit salad. He calls it "craveable", an annoying corporate buzzword that Gail loves. Ew, don't do that, Gail. Soon you'll be "dialoguing" with the other judges, and "thinking outside of the box". Stephen also loved Betty's dish, which seems to surprise Ptom, for some reason. Gail enjoyed Ilan's corn. Stephen agrees that it tasted good, but points out that it didn't fulfill the "entree" requirement. Ptom points out that Cliff's dish got a lot of compliments, and that his fish didn't turn out greasy at all. The mac and cheese was also a huge hit.

Sam, Cliff, and Betty are called out. They stand in that order, and since Sam is so tall, and Betty is so short, they make quite the little staircase. They're told they are the top three, and only Betty shows the slightest emotion whatsoever. The judges tell Sam that they loved his fruit salad, and Gail explicitly thanks him for making a cool dish on a hot day. He just nods and looks pissed off, as he always does. Cliff is complimented as well. Stephen says his table "scowlfed" it down. I'm about ready to beat Stephen in the head with my copy of Garner's. The holidays are coming up. If any of you know Stephen personally, please stuff a copy in his stocking. Cliff looks as sour as Sam. Jeez, I never thought I'd welcome Betty's over-expressiveness. Yet here we are. She nods and smiles as they compliment her soup and sandwich. Padma asks Stephen to announce which of the dishes will be appearing on the TGI Friday's menu. Let's hope he can choke out the name without lapsing into tongues. He does. Betty. She screams so loud that Gail, Ptom, and Padma are practically blown backwards. Finally, Cliff and Sam are smiling (applauding for her, too -- aw). She warmly thanks the judges, and interviews that although she's happy she's won two challenges in a row, she's not going to let her guard down. Ah, there's another phrase the producers must demand at gunpoint. Padma brings the mood down by asking Betty to send in Emily, Michael, and Frank.

The top three come back into the Kitchen and announce Betty's win. Everyone claps and looks happy, while Marcel tries to sink into the floor. Betty sends the losers to the table. They walk out, and Padma informs them that they're the bottom three. She asks Frank why he thinks he's there. He answers that his dish was very conceptual, and probably needed a lot of tweaking. Good answer. He addressed the question, but didn't beat himself up about the food, which Ptom is ever-eager to pounce upon. The judges tell him that his dish is too complex in its execution to ever work in a restaurant. Frank placidly agrees. Stephen also found the flavors flat, which Frank doesn't respond to. Padma asks Emily if she tasted her food before serving it. She did, and says that she knows the meat was too salty. Ptom says the corn was salty, too. Gail tosses the shrimp on the "too salty" pile as well. That's...a lot of salt. I'm glad someone gets some use out of it. Emily tries to work the angle that things probably tasted OK individually, but Gail pronounces her dish almost inedible. Padma takes her to task for not using fresh corn. Stephen takes her to task for using a cut of steak that tends to get tough when overcooked. Emily's rendered speechless by this point.

Michael. He's already too unconcerned, daring the judges to "bring it on". Gail asks what he thinks went wrong. He can't come up with anything, although he does give us generous helpings of "like" and "ya know". I can't pretend not to use "like" all the time, but I try to restrict myself to one per sentence. He brings up his work at conceptual(?) restaurants like "Friday's, Chili's, Red Lobster, whatever." Stephen gets angry that Michael dared to mention Friday's competitors, as if there's any difference between Friday's and Chili's. They are the exact same restaurant. As is Applebee's, for that matter. You don't get to work for a chain restaurant and act insulted when people treat it...like a chain. To be fair, Stephen's main complaint is that Michael's dish wouldn't help Friday's stand out, which is true. Also true is the fact that "standing out" was never part of the challenge, so shut up, Stephen. Ptom tells Michael that his work was just sloppy, and that it seems like he doesn't care enough about being here. Michael disputes this, and he probably really does want to be in the competition. He's just really, really bad at it. The chefs are dismissed.

Deliberations. Frank had poor execution, but at least had an idea and went with it. Emily's overseasoning seems to really shock the judges. She must have put a ton of salt in that thing. They do say something annoying when they chide Emily, which is that if something is seasoned incorrectly, fix it or don't serve it. And what precisely was Emily supposed to do if/when she discovered that everything was too salty? Come out empty-handed and do a little tap dance? Emily cries in the Kitchen, not emotionally, but out of embarrassment and aggravation. The judges hate Michael's attitude, and can't figure out how he ruined a steak sandwich. Don't forget that this is the type of challenge at which he should excel. I'm with you, judges! Cut him! Cut him! Back in the Kitchen, Michael makes empty threats to beat up the judges. Every time he speaks, he just sinks to a lower and more stereotypical level of loserdom. I started out angry at him, but it's almost sad by this point. The judges make a decision. The bottom three are brought back out.

Commercials. I'm glad that lady was able to find her cows. But check out how much cheese she's chopping. Land sakes, woman, leave some dairy for the rest of us.

Elimination. Frank had a good thought, but wasn't refined enough. Emily's dish was inedible. Michael is a stupid douchebag. And the loser is... Emily. Please pack your knives and go. In other words... Sure, Michael has sucked in literally every single challenge, but hey, maybe he'll get drunk and do something ratings-worthy! She goes back to the Kitchen and tells the other chefs that it's "been real", before starting to cry again. Tally mark! The other chefs groan in sympathy. I wonder who they wish had gone. Emily gets a nice group hug. She interviews that she's met some fantastic professionals (and Michael!), and that saying good-bye is the hardest thing. She says that everyone there has such different backgrounds, and that bouncing ideas off of them has opened doors creatively for her. That's very astute. I'm bummed she's going.

Overall Grade: B+