Where's the Beef?

America's Next Top Model - Season 10, Episode 4

No, it's not Top Chef just yet! Although speaking of that show, it's going to be taking the lion's share of my time now, so ANTM will have to be busted down to blurbs. Suck it, Tyra!

After a brief foray into Dominique's delusion that being in the bottom two last week was a good thing, we rejoin the girls getting on each other's nerves at the pad. I'd probably be cranky if I were forced to live with Fatima and Amis, too. The girls head off to a firehouse, where they must do a quick change, then a runway walk in front of some bored firemen. Lauren is growing on me, but her walk still sucks rocks. Fatima clomps like a horse, Amis skips like a fool, and Dominique tries to be sexy and lands closer to "drunk aunt at a wedding reception". On the other end, Claire still dominates, and Whitney does a good job as well.

Back at the pad, Aimee's discomfort with being nude in front of the other girls somehow leads to a fight between Whitney and Fatima/Dominique/Marvita. I admire Whitney for sticking up for her friend, but seriously? What a dumbass fight. Later, everyone takes part in a quick-change fashion show for Jaslene and yet another big-nosed editor at Seventeen. Man, they've got more turnover at that magazine than a pancake factory. On the runway, Lauren's walk has not magically improved, and she does a horrendous job. Fatima has misbuttoned her shirt, and manages to mangle the pronunciation of "button" (as BUH-en) about four thousand times. Oh, and Whitney's boob falls out.

As Jaslene critiques the girls, LabRat comes in, and says "What happened to her voice?" Oh, my God. Someone has Henry Higginsed her! No more cha-cha diva; she's all proper now. Katarzyna wins the challenge, and picks Marvita and Amis to share in her prize, an ad shot that readers will look at for four-tenths of a second before flipping forward to an article about how to exfoliate your skin with sheep intestines or whatever. At the photo shoot, OJ wears an even uglier coat in his escalating series of fug-wear. The girls are dressed up with meat bikinis, and pose in front of hanging racks of dead animals.

At panel, Anya is again inexplicably given lavish praise. She must have an elaborate voodoo kit set up back at the pad. Lauren redeems herself with a great shot, and the judges enjoy Whitney's photo as well. On the flip side, everyone finally realizes that Aimee is boring and Amis is not pretty in the least. In fact, I realized tonight that Amis is like an uglier version of my cousin. Aimee is saved by Fatima's poor shot and runway performance, and the latter winds up in the bottom two with Amis. It's far too early to eliminate the Bitch, so Amis takes a very welcome walk home. Phew. I couldn't take much more of her. Every time she came on screen, all my clocks stopped working.

Overall Grade: C+