Come Hell or High Water

Harper's Island - Season 1, Episode 11

Previously on Harper's Island: DEATH!

We pick up right where we left off. Abby and Wakefield don't have two minutes to exchange words, because Henry and Danny blunder in, frightening Wakefield off. Abby wants to go after him, but Henry won't let her. He's acting awfully suspicious these days. Of course, there are only a handful of people left to suspect.

MEANWHILE, back at the bar, Nikki tends to Jimmy, who's still unconscious. Of course, her "tending" consists of blotting him with a damp rag, but I guess she has to keep busy. Unfortunately, the spate of deaths that have happened since Madison's return still haven't convinced anyone but Shane that they shouldn't go on treating her wike a widdle pwincess. Chloe worries about Blond Tool and Cal. Well, one more than the other. Speaking of them, Blond Tool and Cal leave the clinic. Blond Tool has done a patchy job of fixing Cal up after his bullet wound, but seems to have covered the basics. The two of them head for the sailboat.

MEANWHILE, Henry and Danny have had time to cut the sheriff down, bag him up, and stow him in the back of his wagon. I suppose I should be grateful even a passing mention is made of how silly this is when they know for a fact Wakefield is strolling around. Back at the bar, Madison is telling Shea that she's known Wakefield from day one of the trip. He was the "new friend" who helped her pick flowers for her flower girl basket. Wait, does that mean he's the one who smashed the tea set, too? That seems awfully petty. Madison asks if Richard is dead, and after some hesitation, Shea admits it. Madison also asks if Abby is going to die because of the lie she was told to tell, and that one, Shea's not going to cop to. She and Trish swear that Abby, Henry, and Danny will all be just fine. Abby's not too worried about her own death at the moment; she's too busy swearing vengeance on Wakefield.

As they walk back to the bar, Henry asks Abby why the sheriff was so intent on peddling the story that Wakefield has been dead all these years. "He thought he was doing the right thing," Abby weakly retorts. Henry points out that it didn't do many favors for the stacks of people now moldering all over the island. Danny wonders if Wakefield is done killing, now that the sheriff is gone. That'd make the last few episodes pretty boring, so I doubt it, Danny.

MEANWHILE, back at the bar, Madison has her face pressed up against the window. Shea strokes her hair, because while she's willing to yell at her fellow captives for not treating Madison like delicate porcelain, having her daughter's head displayed like a giant bull's-eye for anyone outside is apparently no problem. Nikki is delivering the bad news that with all the communication lines cut, nobody from the mainland is going to know there's a problem. What about the radio in the cops' plane? Even if the explosion took it out, I have to think that the two cops not reporting back to headquarters would raise a few red flags. The very second I think that, Chloe makes the same point. Thank you, Chloe! You sure have come a long way since that annoying skinny dip. She then loses some of those points I just gave her by haranguing Trish about getting married on this island. I'm pretty sure "Neverending String of Murders" wasn't listed on the Candlewick's amenities list, Chloe.

Shea struts up, seemingly ready to defend Trish, and ignoring Madison's sudden alarm at something outside. It'd be nice if Shea could ever arrange her priorities into a list with a modicum of sense. Madison squeals that Wakefield has arrived, and indeed, he kicks the door down with no problems whatsoever. Guess this wasn't the place to hole up. Nikki tries to shoot him with her shotgun, but he grabs it and aims it at the ceiling. One round goes off before Wakefield stabs Nikki in the gut. The other characters take this as a sign that they should maybe... You know... DO SOMETHING. They all run out the back door, Trish grabbing a gun on the way. Does she shoot him? Nah, she just keeps on running.

Shane stays behind to brandish a tiny knife at Wakefield, who's holding a giant sword. Oh, Shane. Why were you smartest when you were assiest? They fight for a bit before Wakefield naturally slices him to ribbons, then stabs him. Trish stays in the back room with her shotgun as the others slither out of the window. I'm not sure why they can't open the door from the inside. Wakefield does a piss poor job of cleaning Nikki and Shane's blood off the sword before approaching the door to the back room. I guess he's got more important things on his mind. Trish fires two rounds through the door before running out of ammo. It doesn't do her much good, and Wakefield busts through the door. Just as it looks like he's going to get her, Shane reappears, bloody but mobile. Wakefield goes to finish him off, and Trish makes her escape.

MEANWHILE, Blond Tool and Cal reach the dock, but the sailboat is nowhere in sight. They figure they're pretty much doomed. Cal says that he just wants to get Chloe off the island, and Blond Tool says that he just wanted to have sex with Chloe. I guess they're realizing that there's no point in being anything but honest from now on. They head back for the bar. Speaking of which... Abby, Henry, and Danny finally get back there. I guess their teleportation powers are on the fritz. They hear music blaring from inside. Barry Manilow. Wakefield must have wanted to torture Shane to death. The three of them bust in, and find Shane's body trussed up much like Valerie Harper was. No sign of Nikki. Perhaps she gets the comparative dignity of getting to be dead on the floor.

MEANWHILE, Shea, Trish, Chloe, and Madison have made it to the sheriff's attic. Trish hopes to be safe there, though the others aren't thrilled with the Wall of Crazy. Abby, Henry, and Danny cover Nikki and Shane's bodies with blankets that have appeared from nowhere, and discuss the situation. They can't glean much. Abby realizes that Wakefield's gone from killing from the shadows to doing so openly. Danny starts to crack. Back in the attic, Chloe is explaining to Madison that just because Wakefield was nice to her, doesn't mean he's a good man. Shea interrupts this, because as usual, she doesn't want Madison to hear anything useful or true. Trish discovers a map of the tunnel system, and everyone acts shocked that this is how the murderer was able to get around unnoticed. Um, haven't we covered this already?

The church bell starts ringing, startling everyone. Despite knowing that it may well be a trap, both the bar group and the attic group decide to head for it. Trish tells Shea and Madison to stay in the attic until they get back. She tells Shea she loves her before heading out. Aw. And funny, since she didn't say anything to Madison. The two groups find each other at the church. They exchange information, and we discover that Jimmy was not at the bar when the group there stumbled across Shane and Nikki's bodies. Huh. They also learn that none of them rang the bell, and head up there, guns drawn.

Once in the church, they dawdle. Danny lights candles, while Trish apologizes to Abby for suspecting her father. Guys? The bell? Chloe's scream alerts everybody to the other deputy's body, lying in a pew with his throat cut. That about wraps everyone up except the annoying coroner. Where's he? Headlights approach, illuminating Wakefield, who has just walked in. Nobody notices him; they just want to know who's in the car. It unsurprisingly turns out to be Blond Tool and Cal, who must have heard the bell. Cal asks where Chloe is. It seems she has disappeared in all the hubbub. Whoops!

Daylight breaks. Everyone has searched the church for Chloe, but can't find her. Trish surmises that Wakefield took her, using one of the island's handy tunnels. There's a banging at the door. Everyone raises their guns, but it turns out to be Jimmy that staggers in. His story is very odd. He says he woke up in the room with Shane and Nikki's bodies and walked to town. Those bodies weren't alone for very long, so that's some awesome timing on his part. He says that the town has been deserted, so he came to the church when he heard the bells. Yes, but everyone headed for the church when they heard the bells. How has it taken Jimmy so much longer to get there? I know he's limping, and may have been further away, but still. He wonders why Wakefield didn't kill him, and nobody has an answer except Grouchbutt, who's watching this and yelling "Because you're his accomplice!" at the screen.

Cal discovers the entrance to the tunnel. The group figures that if they block all the tunnel entrances, they can trap Wakefield. Trish and Jimmy go to block the storm grate. Danny and Blond Tool head for the entrance in the Candlewick's kitchen. Everyone else heads into the church tunnel to explore. MEANWHILE, Wakefield locks Chloe under the storm grate. She asks why he's doing this to all of them, as they never hurt Wakefield. He snaps that he almost died for a woman like Chloe. OK, but you didn't die and it wasn't Chloe. That's kind of a stretch, sir. Chloe tells him that her friends will kill him, and he menaces her with the (now spotless) sword.

Blond Tool and Danny carefully make their way through the woods. They talk about Cal's fortitude and love for Chloe. Cal, Abby, and Henry make their way down yet another tunnel. They talk about Wakefield's possible motives, and don't come up with anything new. Danny and Blond Tool are boarding up the door in the kitchen, and Blond Tool is vowing to make some changes in his life if he makes it out alive. Well, it'd be nice to be able to refer to him by an actual name, which can only happen if he drops the toolishness. Suddenly, someone (Wakefield, presumably) beats on the other side of the door. Danny and Blond Tool fire through, and wonder if they hit him. Danny scores the win for the dumbest thing anyone on this island has done to date, and sticks his eye up to the bullet hole to peer through. This is where, if this were an actual horror movie, we'd be seeing something very, very gross right about now. Thankfully, it's network TV, and Danny withdraws before the sword thrusts through the hole. Not finding a body to stab, it pulls back, and Wakefield runs off. Danny and Blond Tool are both scared shitless, but accept that they must enter the tunnels and help their friends. They bust through the door.

MEANWHILE, Madison has discovered that the sheriff has a thick file on someone else the party knows. Shea looks at it, and is horrified. Cal, Abby, and Henry find the final tunnel, which leads them to a bit of forest by a wide, running stream. Cal screams for Chloe, and she hears him from her dungeon. She screams back, but the person who approaches isn't Cal, but Wakefield. He asks Chloe if Cal is willing to die for her. Eep! Cal yells for Chloe some more, then asks Abby and Henry if they heard anything. They didn't. All I'm picking up is the background music, which would make life very handy if it really existed. Cal thinks he hears Chloe and sprints off, with Henry and Abby in pursuit. The noise of her banging around soon gets louder, but just as they make some progress, Abby spots Wakefield. She shoots at him and misses, and he just walks off. Henry directs Cal to focus on Chloe, while he and Abby go after Wakefield. Abby wants Henry to promise to shoot Wakefield, even if she's in the way. He refuses, but she's not going to extend the same courtesy to him.

They discover a big stone statue, like they've wandered into a Mayan jungle or something. Where the stream becomes a river with a big canyon and a giant metal bridge (er...I thought this was supposed to be a tiny little island), Cal and Chloe hear each other's voices. He tracks her down, and shoots the lock off of her cage. After pulling her out, Cal asks the question she's been longing to hear, and proposes marriage. She tearfully accepts, but their happy reunion is cut short when they see Wakefield in the distance. Cal takes a shot, and misses. There are no more bullets left, so he and Chloe run for the bridge. Why they cornered themselves in there when they are surrounded on all other sides by vast forest is beyond me.

They reach a locked portion that Cal saw before, and he encourages her to climb over. She makes it about halfway before Wakefield catches up. Poor Cal tells Chloe he loves her, and tries to use his gun as a bludgeon, but is extremely outmatched. Wakefield drives the sword into his chest as Chloe watches and screams. Aw. In most mystery/horror situations, you don't really care about the victims, which makes their deaths less traumatic. Cal was a good egg, though, which makes this much sadder. The pensive music agrees with me as Wakefield throws Cal's body over the bridge down to the water below. Abby and Henry see Wakefield turning his attention to Chloe, but are too far away to do anything. Chloe looks up at Wakefield, and sadly says "You can't have me," before letting go of the bridge and allowing herself to fall. Wakefield looks up at Henry and Abby with a satisfied expression, then walks back towards the forest. Danny and Blond Tool emerge from the tunnel, but I can't tell if they spot Cal and Chloe's bodies or not.

MEANWHILE, Shea and Madison are still reading the file. A newspaper article screams worry that Wakefield wasn't working alone, which is right next to a mugshot of... Jimmy. Grouchbutt nods in triumph. Over at the storm grate, Trish is sleeping in the car, as Jimmy looks at her furtively. He moves to pull the shotgun out of her hands, and she wakes up. He tells her she shouldn't sleep with a loaded gun in her hands, and she settles down again. Jimmy looks extra suspicious. OK, so him as the second murderer makes some sense. I still like going for the longshot in case I'm right and can gloat about it later. So... Trish did it!

Next week on Harper's Island: DEATH!

Overall Grade: A-