Proposition Ate

Top Chef - Season 6, Episode 2

Previously on Top Chef: The cast of Miami Ink showed up to compete in a reality cooking show. Padma told the seventeen new competitors that Lady Luck would be keeping a close eye on this season, so if ever there's a time not to tempt Fate, it's now. Jenc established herself as a force to be reckoned with in the Quickfire, while her namesake Jenz threw some chile relleno grenades into the group of judges. Kevin scored the first Elimination Challenge win, while Jenz' grenades blew up in her face, sending her back home. Sixteen chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Opening credits. I like to cook something for the Top Chef viewing party, if I have time. Last week, I made candied pecans from a recipe that LabRat's mother gave me. This week, I brought dried blueberries to snack on. Let me tell you, it's tough to make those. First, I had to leave them out in the sun, and... OK, fine. I bought them at Trader Joe's. Then Tim had to go and show up my meager store-bought contribution with piping hot spinach artichoke dip. Bastard.

Monday Morning Quarterback session. Everyone fusses with their hair. Jesse was happy to be in the top of the Quickfire standings last week, but wants to correct the mistakes that sunk her to the bottom of the Elimination Challenge. Eve wonders whether to cook for the judges or to just cook her own style of food. I don't think any of the previous winners ever abandoned their own styles; they just found a way to marry that style with the week's particular challenges. Oh, and they didn't suck. Michael and Bryan are still blown away that they're both there, competing against each other. Consider the theme understood, show. Brothers. Competitors. We've got it.

Quickfire Challenge. The chefs stream into the Kitchen, where they're met by Padma, Todd English (who will be this week's guest judge), and a craps table. Jenc gets all moist at the sight of Todd, both for physical and professional reasons. Padma explains that in this Quickfire, the chefs will roll a pair of oversized dice down the craps table. Whatever number they roll will be the number of ingredients they'll be allowed to work with. That makes it sound like they can use fewer than their rolled number if they'd like, but that won't turn out to be the case. Work on your speeches, Padma. It's not like you have much else to do. Salt, pepper, and oil are freebies, but every other ingredient must be counted. Fair enough. As with last week, the challenge's winner will get a $15,000 cash prize. Let's get to it!

Kevin doesn't like to work with tons of flavors. Lady Luck bites her thumb at him, and he rolls a ten. Mattin rolls a four. Michael rolls an eight. Hector is happy with his five. Ron pulls an eight. Jesse gets nine. Eve gets eight. Bryan is up there with Kevin with a ten. Jenc gets a nine. Laurine tosses the lowest roll, with a three. That's all the rolls we see. Isn't it odd that seven -- the most statistically likely number -- didn't get thrown once? Too bad they're not really playing craps right now; they'd be making out like bandits.

The thirty-minute countdown begins. Chefs scatter to their stations. Eve wants to make a salad that includes grilled asparagus and blue cheese. A salad is a smart idea if you want to get eight ingredients on the plate. Michael pours about a gallon of oil into a blender. He's working on gazpacho with a twist, using the liquid nitrogen to rapidly chill it. Bryan wants to hold to a more classic style, which he tells us in a deadpan voice he will not be deviating from. I have to say, Bryan is unquestionably the most attractive chef in contention this year (to me, anyway), but that robotic voice can be a tad off-putting. He works on preparing sous-vide cod. In order to keep things simple, Kevin wants to make as few components as possible with his ten ingredients. Smart idea. I like the way he thinks. Jenc is making smoked salmon with a mild jalapeno emulsion. She also uses about a gallon of oil. Jesse tells us in hindsight that she should have used a stainless steel pan to sear her scallops. She didn't, though, so they're colorless and dull. She thinks about using butter to brown them up, but that would put her over the ingredient limit. Too bad she's not competing in Season 4 - Challenge Parameters Are Beneath Us! Time winds down, and everyone plates their food.

Padma and Todd start their way down the line. With her scant ingredients, Laurine has made an asparagus and leek soup with lemon. Jenc presents her smoked salmon and jalapeno emulsion. It's also got lemon, garlic, shallot, and parsley thrown in. I'm not really enjoying the combination of smoked salmon and jalapeno in my mind, but would have to give it a try before passing any judgement. Mattin has made a carrot soup with ginger, and has cleverly made a little "4" out of carrots to rest on top. Eve's grilled asparagus salad includes raisins, pine nuts, and blue cheese. Michael's nitrogen gazpacho also has compressed cucumbers (whatever that means) and some toast. Kevin has prepared asparagus and celery salad with fennel cream and a boiled egg. Isn't it weird how multiple chefs always seem to work with the same ingredient, seemingly by accident? Last week, it was halibut. Tonight, it's asparagus. Ashley has made grilled lamb with apricot mostarda. The lamb is rare to the point of being almost raw. Bryan has poached black cod, and serves it with carrot, ginger puree, and some daikon radish sprout. Jesse's colorless scallops are served with chimichurri and toasted garlic. There are also some smashed garbanzo beans, which are nice, but seem unnecessary. Maybe she could have replaced them with the much-needed butter.

That's all the dishes we see, and Padma asks Todd for the bad news first. Jesse's scallops needed a better sear, and the rest of her plate was all mushy textures. Eve's blue cheese was overpowering and her presentation sucked. Bryan's flavors were fairly good, but his yuzu was overpowering. He's welcome to bring his overpowering yuzu over here. Hotcha! Now, for the good news. Michael used a clever technique with the gazpacho. Jenc's flavors were bold, yet delicate. Kevin cooked the egg perfectly (I actually prefer a runnier yolk with boiled eggs, but I get what he was going for), and successfully married a lot of flavors. I know it's not really feasible to establish patterns by the second episode, but you'd be forgiven for looking at Kevin, Jenc, Eve, and Jesse with increased attention now. The winner of the Quickfire, the attendant immunity, and the tremendous cash prize is... Michael. Great. I so look forward to the thousand and one interviews about sibling rivalry this will spawn.

Commercials. Head online to learn how to make the winning Quickfire recipe. Sure, let me just pull out my tank of liquid nitrogen. I keep it in the cabinet next to the fridge.

Elimination Challenge. Padma tells the chefs that they'll be experiencing another Vegas tradition. Bloated entertainers past their heyday? Nope. It's the bachelor and bachelorette party. Kevin looks back fondly at his own debauched fiesta. Ashley is decidedly less thrilled about it. As a lesbian, she's not happy to be participating in an event that she's not able to enjoy herself. More on this later. Padma continues that the chefs will be split into two teams: Men versus women. The men will cater the bride's party, while the women will handle the groom. Or his food, anyway. Now it's Jenc's turn to be offended, because she doesn't believe men and women cook differently, so a "battle of the sexes" is ridiculous. It's a fair point, although nobody said that the challenge winner will lend any evidence to which sex cooks better. It's just a handy way to split the chefs into two teams. I don't disagree with Jenc, but it's a little premature to be pissed off about it.

The bride and groom enter. They pass around their three favorite shots, which they want all the food to be paired with. Lame. Padma gives the teams ten minutes to meet with their "clients" and plan the meal. Eli lets us in on another challenge parameter, which is that each shot must have at least two dishes associated with it. The bride outlines a couple of guests' dietary restrictions, and says she loves spicy food. The groom likes lean meats, shellfish, and has a big sweet tooth. Robin, unlike Jenc, is excited for an all-female team, and GIRL POWER, and blah blah blah. Shopping. The teams have half an hour and an $800 budget. The men pick out some flowers, and assign Ash to take care of them.

Ash: "It's true. Gay guys grow flowers better than straight guys."
LabRat: "No, gay guys DE-flower better than straight guys."

Back at the Kitchen, the chefs spring into their two hours of prep time. Jesse worries that if the women lose, she's the obvious choice to go home. Normally, I'd agree, but there is one person who's done worse. I'll give you a hint. She lived in the Garden of Eden, and also couldn't cook worth a damn. Tiresome sibling rivalry interview. Cooking montage. Jenc (I assume) lowers some octopus into a pan. Eve works on a shrimp ceviche. Ashley skins a watermelon to make a carpaccio. She thinks winning the challenge will give the women a much-needed confidence boost. It's the second episode. They couldn't possibly be that beaten down, could they? Oh, wait.

Hector works on a vegetarian dish. He's making tofu ceviche, which sounds a little strange and not very appetizing. Of course, that's what I first thought about the tofu with black bean sauce at Blue Koi in Kansas City, and now it's my second-favorite thing there. Tiresome sibling rivalry interview. Bryan is making a sweet-and-sour macaroon, which involves guacamole. I don't know whether to be intrigued or disgusted by that. A minor spat surfaces on the women's team. Ashley thinks they have time to make an additional dish, but Jenc would prefer keeping things simple and making sure they execute all of the existing dishes perfectly. Ashley remembers that the groom wanted something sweet, so she's going to forge ahead and make a bay leaf panna cotta, though she's emphatically "not a pastry chef". DRINK! Everyone packs up their food, and gets ready to go. The guys struggle to get done in time, but pull it together in the last few moments.

Back at the house, Ashley has time to fume some more about the challenge. Let's get her good point across first. There are at least three gay chefs participating, none of whom are legally allowed to marry their partners, and they're essentially being forced to celebrate that situation. I totally get that, and agree up to a point. I mean, hey... LabRat and I aren't allowed to walk down the aisle, either. Preeti speaks for me a bit when she says she gets where Ashley is coming from, but modern society hasn't kept her apart from her longtime partner, and this just happens to be the world we're living in right now. Exactly. By all means, let's work to effect some change, but in the meantime, you can't get righteously offended at every instance of participation in heterosexual marriage. That would just be downright exhausting. Besides, this is a televised bachelor/bachelorette party, and there isn't even going to be a stripper! It's almost as far from traditional marriage as a gay couple.

Commercials. I love Bradley Cooper, but that movie looks wretched.

The chefs arrive at a resort swimming pool, and each team sets up their food on one side. They have an hour to set everything up. The intense sun beats down on them, and more importantly, their food. Preeti rests her food on some shiso leaves for a bit of garnish. Eve shops her shrimp around, and the consensus is she needs more salt. She frets that her vinaigrette is "naaaaaaaaht" getting into the shrimp at all. Then she almost accidentally stabs Jenc in the face. Over on the men's side, Mike is typically overconfident (as much as anyone can be "typically" anything by the second episode). Laurine feels the men's food is too "contrived" and that the women will be serving heartier fare. Yeah, but she's serving a bunch of "Woo, bachelor party in VEGAS! WITH SHOTS!" dudes, who will no doubt enjoy a bunch of meaty appetizers. The ladies will probably enjoy the more frou-frou stuff the guys are putting together. Lucky me, I'd like both.

The guests arrive. Wow, nothing would be more fun at my bachelor party than being watched by my soon-to-be wife the whole time. The men and women split to their respective sides of the pool. Ashley has gotten some sleep, and has wisely decided to take a step back, and just do the best she can for the happy couple. If it makes her feel any better, I don't have much hope for a couple that bases their relationship on a mutual love of tequila. The guests begin eating, and the judges enter soon after. We begin going down the line of food, and I'm just going to ignore the pointless shot pairings.

Robin has made a duck mole with cocoa nibs and some apricot. It looks good, as does Laurine's Moroccan lamb chop with a pomegranate pine nut relish. Eve's shrimp and avocado ceviche is served with a smoky tomato and chili salsa and some popcorn. Speaking of ceviche (or as she's still calling it, se-VEECH), Jenc has made one of octopus in a light citrus vinaigrette with some herbs on top. I bet I'd like that. The judges eat through this first grouping. Eve's shrimp is described as "nasty". She didn't cook them properly, and the seasoning is all off, much like last week. Jenc's could use a bit more salt, but is good, overall. Robin's mole is very nice, while Laurine's lamb chop gets approving nods.

Next! Ashley has made watermelon carpaccio with some ricotta salata and aged balsamic. It looks very refreshing. She also presents her bay leaf and vanilla panna cotta with cranberry powder and some honey. Preeti lays out her coriander and sesame-crusted tuna with spicy eggplant, and a wonton crisp on top of the shiso leaf. That looks awesome. Jesse has made a lettuce cup with Thai chicken thigh, shiitake mushrooms, shiso, and ginger beer. The judges eat. Jesse's dish is too muddled with competing flavors, and her food doesn't match the shot at all. Preeti's looks wilted, and Todd finds it overcured. Ashley's watermelon was great, but her panna cotta sucked. DRINK!

Next! Michael has thrown together an apple sorbet with a goat cheese cookie. That's no small feat in and of itself with such hot weather. Kevin has made a chilled almond soup with king crab, cucumber, and white grape. Yum. The judges love his soup, though Ptom wishes it were a bit colder. Even as that gets high marks, Michael's goat cheese cookie gets even higher ones.

Next! Mike has served Arctic char with a smoky caper sauce, and some Cara Cara orange. Bryan's sweet-and-sour macaroon is filled with guacamole, corn nuts, and corn puree. I still don't know about that. Coconut is never mentioned, so is that in there, like a traditional macaroon? I pride myself on eating some strange things, but this one has me confused. Ron has made lobster cocktail with a habanero tomato sauce. Hector's tofu is in a lemon-lime, tequila ceviche, and is served alongside a guajillo-achiote tortilla. Look it up. The judges love what Hector did with the tofu, while Ron's lobster has no flavor. Mike's Arctic char is flabby, flat, and doesn't work with the shot. Bryan's guacamole mightily impresses everyone.

Next! Eli has Thai tuna tartare, served with puffed wild rice, and ruined by the addition of coconut milk. Mattin has a bouillabaisse with an aioli crouton, and a Basque croquette that seems to just be a ball of fried cheese. Ash has made an Asian chicken wing with pickled pearl onions on top. The judges like the ginger in Eli's tuna. Mattin's croquette was good, but the rest of the dish is imbalanced. Ash's chicken makes Todd very happy.

After service, some of the guys rip their chef coats off and jump into the pool. Laurine cracks me up when she dryly wonders who people would rather see jump into a pool: Girls or fat boys. Ash does not participate, finding it juvenile. Juvenile, maybe. Unprofessional, certainly. Well, I don't see any guests in the shots of the pool-jumping. Maybe they've all left, in which case it's fine. The women toast each other. The men share a cheer.

Commercials. I don't think people with pinstriped Oxford shirts are rushing off to McDonald's for their lunch hour.

Interstitial. Mike outlines his nicknames for various other chefs. Preeti doesn't rate one, because she's not only one of those inferior women, but an inferior woman who will never sleep with him.

Judges' Table. Padma enters the Kitchen, and summons Bryan, Hector, Eli, and Michael to the dining room. This obviously means that the men's team has won, and that these four are the top of that group. Eli's tuna tartare excited Gail in a way that no other has in the past fifteen years. Wow. Michael's sorbet was a great concept and delicious to boot. Tofu is hard to work with, and Hector did an admirable job. Bryan's macaroon had terrific texture, and Todd found it whimsical and fun. "Thank you," Bryan says with zero emotion.

Tiffany (as Bryan): "I'm whimsical. Like Sylvia Plath."

Todd gets to announce the winner, and says that it was between the two brothers. Bryan scores the ultimate win, which he appears as jazzed up about as a semiannual dentist appointment. He does allow that it's nice to redeem himself after being in the bottom of the Quickfire. Ptom reiterates that all four of them did phenomenal work, but I'm afraid their only prize is Padma asking them to send out the losing women. I write down two of the names before the guys take a single step towards the Kitchen. Eve and Ashley are obviously going out there, and are joined by Preeti and Jesse. Hmm, I may have to rethink what I said before about the second episode being too early to find patterns. As the women enter the dining room, I note the absence of our old friends Gong and Odd Asian Music. Have they lost their jobs in this tough economy?

The judges start with Jesse. Her dish was watery and muddled. She begins leaking tears as Gail tries to soften the blow by saying each individual ingredient was fine, but that there wasn't a clean flavor in the mixture. Eve wanted to provide some spice for the groom. Gail says she couldn't taste anything but the salsa. Ptom asks her about her underseasoned shrimp, and Eve says that she tried to spice it up, but as with pasta, if you underseason it at the beginning, you can't do much about it. The look that Ptom gives in response is priceless. I'm not sure I can do it justice, but the closest translation I can give is: "Why did we let you on this show? You are utterly incompetent."

Preeti felt her dish was crowd-pleasing, but Ptom felt it was overcured. He also scolds her for not exchanging the old shiso leaf for a fresh one as the judges came over. Ah, but she did. The sun was so hot that they almost instantly wilted. I think Ptom hates Preeti. His disgust with Eve is understandable, but I'm not sure why he's felt the need to condescend to Preeti like a disappointed dad (in look if not in words) in both episodes. Gail suggests doing away with the shiso leaf altogether. Todd didn't like her eggplant. Ashley's watermelon was great, but that panna cotta sunk her. DRINK! The chefs are dismissed. They head back to the Kitchen, where Jesse immediately snags a gigantic bottle of wine. Heh.

Deliberations. I could repeat the same criticisms that the judges made a few moments ago, but only need to bring up one. That look of utter incomprehension Ptom gave to Eve. The second that crossed his face (and given the fact that she also screwed up shrimp last week), this episode was decided. Elimination. Why drag it out? Eve. Please pack your knives and go. In her final interview, she talks about remaining true to herself and that the judges just didn't get her unusual combinations of flavors. DRINK! I guess "unusual combinations" is code for "sucky". None of the other chefs seems too torn up or surprised about the elimination of a clearly inferior competitor, and LabRat happily celebrates not having to deal with a Michigander for the rest of the season.

Next week on Top Chef: Limecrete continues his tradition of not watching this show's previews, because they give away who winds up at Judges' Table.

Overall Grade: B-