Just a temporary post to wrap up business on Season 6 of Top Chef. Like many people, the viewing party missed the reunion show, because it was run an hour earlier than the main episodes. Bravo was probably hoping they could trap people into watching their second crap attempt to recapture Project Runway, but we had zero interest in that (plus I heard they didn't even reveal the fan favorite -- as if anyone but Kevin was going to win). So, no reunion recap. I'm not usually a big fan of them, anyway.
However, if I have time over the next few weeks, and the episodes remain online and free, I'll go back and recap the episodes I had to skip due to travel or moving. I know it seems kind of pointless, since we already know who got eliminated, and who's going to win the season, but incomplete series tend to bug me. Other than that, I'll see you next season!
UPDATE: Both recaps are done. Full season coverage! I won't be recapping the upcoming season of Top Chef Masters (though we'll be watching), so be sure to come back when Top Chef or its dessert spinoff premieres.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The Last Supper
Top Chef - Season 6, Episode 14
Previously on Top Chef: Perhaps the most talented cast ever, barring a few without the necessary level of talent (Eve), drive (Ash), or ability to stir up watercooler buzz (Laurine). Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. There. You think I've said it enough times to prevent the editors from cramming it down our throats tonight? Michael, Bryan, Kevin, and Jenc were ordained as the Golden Children, and won every single Elimination Challenge. That's not an exaggeration. Nobody outside of these four won an Elimination Challenge. Seriously! Once the rest of the chefs were cut loose, one of the Golden Children had to take the fall, and Jenc's slightly unfocused approach finally did her in. Three chefs remain. Who will be Top Chef?
Opening credits. A wine called "Marilyn Merlot". Heh. Also, fondue up the wazoo! Our viewing party had both cheese and chocolate fondue, and I contributed the dippers, from apples to bread to veggies to marshmallows to pound cake to berries. It may have been delicious, but my stomach was not happy with me the next day.
Monday Morning Quarterback session. The final three analyze their chances. Kevin's got the best record going into the finals, but isn't about to rest on his laurels. Michael notes that Bryan has racked up a bunch of challenge wins, but could never manage to figure out those Quickfires. The chefs head out for the day, and Bravo pastes up a logo (practically in the center of the screen) for that dreadful attempt to recapture Project Runway. I'll make it simple for you, Bravo: No. If it makes you feel any better, Project Runway isn't good anymore. Anyway, back to this show.
The chefs meet Ptom and Padma in the midst of a winery, where they explain the upcoming SuperChallenge. Each chef will cook a three-course meal, but naturally, there will be certain parameters. The first course will be a rip-off of Chopped, in which chefs are given identical boxes of mystery ingredients, all of which must be incorporated into the dish. It's sad to see Top Chef have to stoop to stealing material from a show that owes its entire existence to this one. Thankfully, for all the carping I've done about the judging on this show, I doubt it would be possible to reach the level of sheer assitude the losers who call themselves experts spew on Chopped. Geez, what's with these digressions about shows that aren't good anymore? Forgive me, I'll try to focus. The second course is entirely up to the chef. The third course must be dessert. This news causes a couple of brows to furrow.
Obviously, the diners will be a collection of Names. Just as obviously, the chefs will have some help in their preparations. Who could it possibly be? Eliminated contestants? No way! How'd they think that one up? In a nice change of pace, all of the eliminated chefs are prospective sous chefs, and not just the people eliminated in the last few weeks. Each of the finalists will draw two knives to determine their helpers; one of the sous chefs will help today, and one tomorrow. My heart goes giddy, flush with the possibility that Michael may have to rely on Robin, or that anyone could draw Jenz and have to figure out her name, let alone her cooking style. Unfortunately, Fate isn't feeling particularly dramatic this evening. Kevin draws Preeti. Bryan draws Jenc. Michael draws Jesse. Kevin draws Ash. Bryan draws Ashley. Michael draws Eli. Interesting. I'd say Michael's picks don't really affect him one way or the other, but Bryan is sure set up nicely. Kevin, not so much.
That night, the chefs dig into their mystery boxes to figure out the first course. It contains Pacific rockfish, Dungeness crab, squash, lemon, Matsutake mushrooms, and anise hyssop. After some frenzied planning, everyone gets started. Preeti, Jesse, and Ashley are on the field as sous chefs. Ashley and Jesse are doing fine, but Preeti is cutting vegetables at a glacial pace. Kevin is getting peeved, as well he might. I'm pretty sure I could knock out that task faster. Kevin complains in interview that of the twenty items on his prep list, he can only assign two to Preeti. Ouch. As time winds down, Michael and Bryan spar via interview about whether Bryan's more conservative cooking style is "safe" or "smart". Kevin worries that his sous chefs will be about as much help as Sarah Palin in securing a win.
The next day, Kevin awakens in a foul mood. He lost time on Preeti, and lost even more time wandering around in a funk about Preeti. It's taken to the last episode to see that Bryan does indeed have a tattoo, just like most of his other brethren here in the most inked season ever. And just like them, it's not particularly becoming. A knock at the door sends all of the chefs' brains into a whirl. It's got to be a twist! What's going to be the twist? Will they be able to overcome the twist? It'd have been funny if it had just been a maid, all "I was just dropping by to see if you needed more towels." It turns out to be the chefs' mothers, which Bryan calls "surreal". DRINK! Michael and Bryan's mother interviews that she's rooting for both of them, but that ultimately, there will be one winner.
LabRat (as Voltaggimom): "You were always my favorite, Bryan."
There's a telling bit in which Voltaggimom helps button her sons' chef coats (probably at the producers' urging -- what self-sufficient adult needs help fastening a front-buttoned garment?) Bryan plays along nicely. Michael lectures his mother on the finer points of sleeve-rolling. Bryan kiddingly-but-not-really chides Michael for ragging on her. Kevin's mom pledges her full support and interviews that there's no reason he can't win. Kevin's mood is markedly improved by the visit, and the chefs head out for the day. They're met at the restaurant by Ptom, who nails them with the real twist. There is to be a fourth course. It will slide in as the first course, and shift all the other ones back. This new course will be "inspired" by the chefs' mothers, and should be a callback to a favorite childhood dish. The chefs have three hours before the first plate hits the table.
Ready? Go! The sous chefs enter, and everyone gets cookin'. Bryan's childhood course will be a play on tuna noodle casserole, which will include sardines, German potato, panko, and fennel cucumber linguine. Sounds good. Michael hated broccoli as a child, and will be playing around with that concept by "reinventing" it. He's making a cream of dehydrated broccoli soup, with spot prawn and fried broccoli. Kevin talks about his upbringing, and how he abandoned the idea of college to become a chef. His childhood course will be "chicken and fixings", which includes fried chicken skin, tomatoes, and a liquid squash casserole. As an aside, I know that everyone has their own personal list of words they despise, and "fixings" (not to mention its toothless cousin, "fixins'") is firmly ensconced in my top ten. Bleh.
For the mystery box course, Bryan is preparing sous vide rockfish with diced mushroom and a lemon jam. Michael is poaching the rockfish in butter, and serving it with tomato-kombu sauce, and a sweet and sour salad. Kevin is cooking his rockfish in duck fat, and serving it with mushrooms and crab broth, both of which will be roasted. Kevin doesn't like the texture of the Matsutake mushrooms, and doesn't quite know what to do with them. He's a lot happier with Ash than he was with Preeti, though.
For the third course, Michael, who loves his gimmicks, will be making fake mushrooms out of mushroom goo. He's also working with fennel, squab, and a pistachio cassoulet. Kevin, who loves his pork, will be slow roasting some pork belly, and serving it with roasted broccoli and Brussels sprouts. A caramelized ham jus will serve as the sauce. Bryan, who loves... Well, anyway. He'll be making venison saddle with Brussels sprouts, sunchokes, and maple-glazed carrots. The venison sounds good, but the vegetables are unimpressive.
For dessert, Michael works on a chocolate caramel cake with a butternut squash brulee and butternut ice cream. Kevin is throwing bacon into a roasted banana chocolate mousse. He's serving it with peanut bacon brittle. Hmm. You won't find a more ardent supporter of bacon than I, but it doesn't go well with everything. Bryan is making a white chocolate dulce de leche cheesecake with sheep's milk. There will also be a fig sorbet and poached pear. Time winds down.
Out in the dining room, the judges, Names, and moms await the first course. Padma apologizes in advance for the critical things that must be said about the food. Voltaggimom lives in Vegas, and threatens to track Ptom down if need be. Awesome. The chefs emerge to the surprise of being judged by their mothers. What, like we all don't live in fear of that? Bryan rethinks the wisdom of using sardine, which he's sure his mother has never gone near. Ptom introduces the diners, noting that the moms will only be around for the first course. The chefs explain their childhood memory courses, and recede. Kevin's squash casserole goes over very well. Bryan's sardine isn't as seasoned as much as it could be, which is a common theme with Bryan. His mother sticks up for him, of course, saying that she was concerned that the sardine would taste overly fishy, but it didn't. Michael's prawn is too undercooked for the Names, but he sold the shit out of his story of overcoming his dislike for broccoli. Wonderful, judges. I can't wait to head to the nearest restaurant and order crappy food that reminds the chef of his Nana. Padma tries to get Voltaggimom to decide which of her sons' dishes she liked better, but she wisely pleads the Fifth. Padma thanks the moms and sends them back to say good-bye. Michael immediately pumps Voltaggimom for information about the judges' opinions, but if he got any, we never hear it.
The chefs bring out their mystery box courses. Kevin's broth goes over very well, but his mushrooms were too tough. His fish wasn't bad, but it doesn't wow anyone, either. Bryan's fish is -- surprise! -- underseasoned. Again, the overall plate is good, but not great. Michael's is a lot more successful, as he struck a perfect balance of sweet and sour. Everyone likes it, but I'm surprised at how subdued all of the judges' reactions have been so far.
Third course. Bryan finally knocks one out of the park. The judges all love his venison. Michael's squab was excellent, but his mushrooms didn't have a lot of flavor, and were a bit silly in execution. Kevin, who's been excelling at meat dishes all season long, falls down a bit on his pork belly. It seems that cracks are finally starting to show in his veneer, but man, what a terrible day for that to be happening. The pork belly wasn't cooked long enough, and came out tough. The sauce was good, though.
Fourth course. Back in the kitchen, Michael realizes that Eli overfilled the cakes, and that Michael himself cooked them too long. They're way overdone. The chefs bring out their plates. Kevin's dessert gets poor to mixed reviews. Gail likes the bacon crumblies, but one of the Names is tired of chefs throwing bacon into desserts. Ptom thinks Kevin didn't do enough with the banana. Michael has made candied pumpkin seeds, which were good, but his cakes were dry. Bryan's cheesecake was "nice". Geez. If you just heard the deliberations, you'd never know this was the most successful final three ever. Based on the judges' conversation, it frankly sounds like a disappointing meal. Strange. The chefs come out for cursory applause, and so that Padma can tell them she'll see them later at Judges' Table. All three of the chefs think they have a good shot at the title, but Michael is nervous about his lackluster dessert.
Fret 'n sweat. Michael has both of those things covered. Judges' Table. Odd Asian Music and Gong breeze in so they can get through their work and go on vacation for a while. The chefs enter, and Padma thanks them for the meal, which was "an amazing end to an amazing season". I'm just not buying it. Nobody had that moment. You know, the one where you take a bite of truly extraordinary food and just lose yourself in it. I don't think I saw an expression much higher than "Meh" at that table. As to the dishes, Bryan's mystery box course was well-cooked, but it didn't have a lot of contrast, imagination, or seasoning. His venison was great. Kevin's childhood memory course was flavorful and complex. His pork belly needed more time, and the judges are surprised that he didn't deliver on his speciality. Michael's mystery box course was excellent. He's a creative cook, and takes risks, which judges always love. Michael's dessert was disappointing, which he admits. For some reason, the judges bend over backwards to excuse him for it. I don't know if they already had their minds made up or what, but they just shrugged off the detriments of a dessert they would have blasted any of the eliminated chefs for.
Padma asks the pageant question of why each chef "deserves" to be Top Chef. Bryan says that he expressed himself through his cuisine. Michael jokes that he just doesn't want Bryan to win. When everyone's done giggling, Michael really sells himself again, saying that cooking is what he is, and that he's never collected a paycheck for doing anything else, nor will he ever. He lives and breathes food. The judges wet their pants, because this neat package of American Dream is exactly what they're looking for. Ironically, a heartfelt speech on this show about how much food means to you is as important -- if not more -- than the actual food. A point to Michael for playing the production like a fiddle here. Kevin says he cooks soulful food that speaks to the person that he is. The judges are still swooning over Michael, and hardly pay attention. The chefs are dismissed.
Deliberations. Kevin had the most interesting, flavorful first course. Ptom found Bryan's bland, but Toby liked it, saying he didn't mind at all that it was underseasoned.
Limecrete: "Wow, the British judge likes bland food? Shut the fuck up."
Michael's fried broccoli completely overwhelmed the prawn. On the second course, Michael was king. He was smart and creative with the mystery box ingredients. Gail didn't care for Michael's tomato, but hated Kevin's mushroom more. Bryan's was safe and boring. Gail can't find a flaw in Bryan's third course. Toby admits that it was good, but says that it wasn't as memorable as Michael's squab. Gail lobs back that although the squab was good, two other components (the mushroom and the pistachio cassoulet) weren't up to par. Kevin is not even in the running on this course, as his pork belly was tough and unsophisticated. Michael's dessert execution was off, but his bold flavors made sense, whatever that means. I'm sorry, but "I know what you were going for," is an acceptable reason to keep someone around in Episode 1 or 2. Not the finale. Kevin's dessert was disappointing. He's clearly bound for culinary greatness, but he had a bad night. Bryan's dessert was restrained and sophisticated. Had Michael put out the dessert he intended, it may have been better than Bryan's, but it wasn't. The judges reach a decision.
Final decision. Ptom congratulates all three chefs. Padma starts with some bad news, and dismisses Kevin right away. It's amazing how many seasons this happens in. A favorite strides into the finals, then immediately shoots him or herself in the foot. Casey committed game suicide in Season Three. Richard flailed at the last minute in Season Four. Carla fell apart in Season Five. And here is Kevin, who unquestionably ruled this entire season. He dominated challenge after challenge, came to the finals, and promptly lost his head. It's a shame, because while I can support his elimination under the rules of the game, he's probably the most talented competitor this show has ever seen. The producers are giddy that Kevin lost his groove, though, because it sets up a magnificently television-friendly Battle of the Brothers for the final two. Kevin walks back to the fret 'n sweat room, where his mom is waiting to give him a conciliatory hug. He's disappointed, but proud of what he's accomplished, saying that he was the underdog from the very beginning. Kevin, you know I love you, but you do not get to win every goddamn challenge under the sun, then call yourself an underdog. Sorry, buddy.
Back at Judges' Table, Ptom obligingly plays up the EMOTION of a SIBLING RIVALRY final two, where two such professional chefs must STRUGGLE with their FEELINGS. Blah, blah, blah. Let's just get to the winner, which is... Michael. Even though he's spent the entire season talking himself up, he looks genuinely shocked. I'm sure he was thinking that the dessert course had torpedoed his chances. Bryan congratulates him, and pulls him in for a hug. Michael interviews that he's happier about having Bryan in the finals with him than about winning. He wishes both of them could have won. Uh huh. Also, he's got a pet unicorn, and Nigerian princes are waiting to wire you two million dollars. Voltaggimom comes out to hug them both. Michael leaks a few tears, and tells Padma she's finally getting the emotion she wanted. Heh. Bryan is disappointed, but displays his trademark stoicism. Hugs and handshakes are exchanged, and the season comes to a close with Michael saying that he's learned about himself as a person and as a cook.
That's an interesting distinction, actually. As I said in the short version, if the competition were judged solely on food, I wouldn't have a problem with any of these three chefs winning. I haven't tasted their cooking, of course, but we can figure out a lot based on judging and diners' reactions. If they say that Michael had the best food of the night and/or is the most talented chef overall, I have no reason to disbelieve that. But as I also said in the short version, it's also nice when the winner has an enjoyable personality on top of being meritorious. I can respect someone who does good work, but I have greater respect for someone who does good work without having to resort to being an ass to get it done. Given that this is a television show well before it is a cooking competition, how much should personality weigh into the decision? Is the positive force of Michael's talent so great that it's better than Bryan's talent + Bryan's personality? Is Michael so much better than Kevin that you'd prefer to work with him yelling "Relax! Relax! Relax! Relax! RE-LAX!" in your face every night?
These sound like rhetorical questions, but they're not. If this were a genuine cooking competition, or you were eating in a restaurant at which you'd never even come into contact with the chef, it wouldn't matter. You'd want the person with the best food. But when you watch a television show, you not only want the winner to deserve the achievement, you want to like them. You want to root for them, and it's difficult to resolve the situation when you don't. Looking back at Top Chef's history, we see that they do not have a great track record in this regard. Ilan was a scum-sucking douchebag. Hung was arrogant and condescending. Hosea was nice enough, but about as interesting as toast. And here we have Michael, the cold, snide victor, who swayed the judges with romantic talk of his Life's Work while serving dry cake and undercooked prawn. I don't know. I don't begrudge Michael the win for a moment, but at the same time, I have to admit to some disappointment. I like that Top Chef hands out the award to people who they believe can cook great food. I don't like that Top Chef hands out the award to people who kind of suck as people. Make of that what you will.
As to the season postmortem, I have very few complaints. They did a great job this time around. They seemed to focus on finding talented competitors, rather than people who would act up for attention. Mike was the exception to that, of course, but there's always got to be at least one, right? I didn't enjoy the Mean Girl mentality of ganging up on Robin, but it never got out of hand. Except for pointing out the obvious fact that Toby is woefully unqualified and works way too hard to be acerbic and witty (and fails every time), the judging was mostly sound and reasonable. I don't think Ptom really annoyed me once, which is a new milestone. If I had to pick the worst episode, I'd pick the Air Force challenge without hesitation. As I said then, I'm all for patriotism, but I felt like I was being bludgeoned to death by a bald eagle with an American flag in one talon and Mom's apple pie in the other. Not only that, but the judging was clearly steered towards getting rid of someone boring, rather than someone bad. Other than that, it was an interesting, well-crafted season, and I look forward to the next one.
Overall Grade: B-
Overall Season Grade: A-
Previously on Top Chef: Perhaps the most talented cast ever, barring a few without the necessary level of talent (Eve), drive (Ash), or ability to stir up watercooler buzz (Laurine). Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. There. You think I've said it enough times to prevent the editors from cramming it down our throats tonight? Michael, Bryan, Kevin, and Jenc were ordained as the Golden Children, and won every single Elimination Challenge. That's not an exaggeration. Nobody outside of these four won an Elimination Challenge. Seriously! Once the rest of the chefs were cut loose, one of the Golden Children had to take the fall, and Jenc's slightly unfocused approach finally did her in. Three chefs remain. Who will be Top Chef?
Opening credits. A wine called "Marilyn Merlot". Heh. Also, fondue up the wazoo! Our viewing party had both cheese and chocolate fondue, and I contributed the dippers, from apples to bread to veggies to marshmallows to pound cake to berries. It may have been delicious, but my stomach was not happy with me the next day.
Monday Morning Quarterback session. The final three analyze their chances. Kevin's got the best record going into the finals, but isn't about to rest on his laurels. Michael notes that Bryan has racked up a bunch of challenge wins, but could never manage to figure out those Quickfires. The chefs head out for the day, and Bravo pastes up a logo (practically in the center of the screen) for that dreadful attempt to recapture Project Runway. I'll make it simple for you, Bravo: No. If it makes you feel any better, Project Runway isn't good anymore. Anyway, back to this show.
The chefs meet Ptom and Padma in the midst of a winery, where they explain the upcoming SuperChallenge. Each chef will cook a three-course meal, but naturally, there will be certain parameters. The first course will be a rip-off of Chopped, in which chefs are given identical boxes of mystery ingredients, all of which must be incorporated into the dish. It's sad to see Top Chef have to stoop to stealing material from a show that owes its entire existence to this one. Thankfully, for all the carping I've done about the judging on this show, I doubt it would be possible to reach the level of sheer assitude the losers who call themselves experts spew on Chopped. Geez, what's with these digressions about shows that aren't good anymore? Forgive me, I'll try to focus. The second course is entirely up to the chef. The third course must be dessert. This news causes a couple of brows to furrow.
Obviously, the diners will be a collection of Names. Just as obviously, the chefs will have some help in their preparations. Who could it possibly be? Eliminated contestants? No way! How'd they think that one up? In a nice change of pace, all of the eliminated chefs are prospective sous chefs, and not just the people eliminated in the last few weeks. Each of the finalists will draw two knives to determine their helpers; one of the sous chefs will help today, and one tomorrow. My heart goes giddy, flush with the possibility that Michael may have to rely on Robin, or that anyone could draw Jenz and have to figure out her name, let alone her cooking style. Unfortunately, Fate isn't feeling particularly dramatic this evening. Kevin draws Preeti. Bryan draws Jenc. Michael draws Jesse. Kevin draws Ash. Bryan draws Ashley. Michael draws Eli. Interesting. I'd say Michael's picks don't really affect him one way or the other, but Bryan is sure set up nicely. Kevin, not so much.
That night, the chefs dig into their mystery boxes to figure out the first course. It contains Pacific rockfish, Dungeness crab, squash, lemon, Matsutake mushrooms, and anise hyssop. After some frenzied planning, everyone gets started. Preeti, Jesse, and Ashley are on the field as sous chefs. Ashley and Jesse are doing fine, but Preeti is cutting vegetables at a glacial pace. Kevin is getting peeved, as well he might. I'm pretty sure I could knock out that task faster. Kevin complains in interview that of the twenty items on his prep list, he can only assign two to Preeti. Ouch. As time winds down, Michael and Bryan spar via interview about whether Bryan's more conservative cooking style is "safe" or "smart". Kevin worries that his sous chefs will be about as much help as Sarah Palin in securing a win.
The next day, Kevin awakens in a foul mood. He lost time on Preeti, and lost even more time wandering around in a funk about Preeti. It's taken to the last episode to see that Bryan does indeed have a tattoo, just like most of his other brethren here in the most inked season ever. And just like them, it's not particularly becoming. A knock at the door sends all of the chefs' brains into a whirl. It's got to be a twist! What's going to be the twist? Will they be able to overcome the twist? It'd have been funny if it had just been a maid, all "I was just dropping by to see if you needed more towels." It turns out to be the chefs' mothers, which Bryan calls "surreal". DRINK! Michael and Bryan's mother interviews that she's rooting for both of them, but that ultimately, there will be one winner.
LabRat (as Voltaggimom): "You were always my favorite, Bryan."
There's a telling bit in which Voltaggimom helps button her sons' chef coats (probably at the producers' urging -- what self-sufficient adult needs help fastening a front-buttoned garment?) Bryan plays along nicely. Michael lectures his mother on the finer points of sleeve-rolling. Bryan kiddingly-but-not-really chides Michael for ragging on her. Kevin's mom pledges her full support and interviews that there's no reason he can't win. Kevin's mood is markedly improved by the visit, and the chefs head out for the day. They're met at the restaurant by Ptom, who nails them with the real twist. There is to be a fourth course. It will slide in as the first course, and shift all the other ones back. This new course will be "inspired" by the chefs' mothers, and should be a callback to a favorite childhood dish. The chefs have three hours before the first plate hits the table.
Ready? Go! The sous chefs enter, and everyone gets cookin'. Bryan's childhood course will be a play on tuna noodle casserole, which will include sardines, German potato, panko, and fennel cucumber linguine. Sounds good. Michael hated broccoli as a child, and will be playing around with that concept by "reinventing" it. He's making a cream of dehydrated broccoli soup, with spot prawn and fried broccoli. Kevin talks about his upbringing, and how he abandoned the idea of college to become a chef. His childhood course will be "chicken and fixings", which includes fried chicken skin, tomatoes, and a liquid squash casserole. As an aside, I know that everyone has their own personal list of words they despise, and "fixings" (not to mention its toothless cousin, "fixins'") is firmly ensconced in my top ten. Bleh.
For the mystery box course, Bryan is preparing sous vide rockfish with diced mushroom and a lemon jam. Michael is poaching the rockfish in butter, and serving it with tomato-kombu sauce, and a sweet and sour salad. Kevin is cooking his rockfish in duck fat, and serving it with mushrooms and crab broth, both of which will be roasted. Kevin doesn't like the texture of the Matsutake mushrooms, and doesn't quite know what to do with them. He's a lot happier with Ash than he was with Preeti, though.
For the third course, Michael, who loves his gimmicks, will be making fake mushrooms out of mushroom goo. He's also working with fennel, squab, and a pistachio cassoulet. Kevin, who loves his pork, will be slow roasting some pork belly, and serving it with roasted broccoli and Brussels sprouts. A caramelized ham jus will serve as the sauce. Bryan, who loves... Well, anyway. He'll be making venison saddle with Brussels sprouts, sunchokes, and maple-glazed carrots. The venison sounds good, but the vegetables are unimpressive.
For dessert, Michael works on a chocolate caramel cake with a butternut squash brulee and butternut ice cream. Kevin is throwing bacon into a roasted banana chocolate mousse. He's serving it with peanut bacon brittle. Hmm. You won't find a more ardent supporter of bacon than I, but it doesn't go well with everything. Bryan is making a white chocolate dulce de leche cheesecake with sheep's milk. There will also be a fig sorbet and poached pear. Time winds down.
Out in the dining room, the judges, Names, and moms await the first course. Padma apologizes in advance for the critical things that must be said about the food. Voltaggimom lives in Vegas, and threatens to track Ptom down if need be. Awesome. The chefs emerge to the surprise of being judged by their mothers. What, like we all don't live in fear of that? Bryan rethinks the wisdom of using sardine, which he's sure his mother has never gone near. Ptom introduces the diners, noting that the moms will only be around for the first course. The chefs explain their childhood memory courses, and recede. Kevin's squash casserole goes over very well. Bryan's sardine isn't as seasoned as much as it could be, which is a common theme with Bryan. His mother sticks up for him, of course, saying that she was concerned that the sardine would taste overly fishy, but it didn't. Michael's prawn is too undercooked for the Names, but he sold the shit out of his story of overcoming his dislike for broccoli. Wonderful, judges. I can't wait to head to the nearest restaurant and order crappy food that reminds the chef of his Nana. Padma tries to get Voltaggimom to decide which of her sons' dishes she liked better, but she wisely pleads the Fifth. Padma thanks the moms and sends them back to say good-bye. Michael immediately pumps Voltaggimom for information about the judges' opinions, but if he got any, we never hear it.
The chefs bring out their mystery box courses. Kevin's broth goes over very well, but his mushrooms were too tough. His fish wasn't bad, but it doesn't wow anyone, either. Bryan's fish is -- surprise! -- underseasoned. Again, the overall plate is good, but not great. Michael's is a lot more successful, as he struck a perfect balance of sweet and sour. Everyone likes it, but I'm surprised at how subdued all of the judges' reactions have been so far.
Third course. Bryan finally knocks one out of the park. The judges all love his venison. Michael's squab was excellent, but his mushrooms didn't have a lot of flavor, and were a bit silly in execution. Kevin, who's been excelling at meat dishes all season long, falls down a bit on his pork belly. It seems that cracks are finally starting to show in his veneer, but man, what a terrible day for that to be happening. The pork belly wasn't cooked long enough, and came out tough. The sauce was good, though.
Fourth course. Back in the kitchen, Michael realizes that Eli overfilled the cakes, and that Michael himself cooked them too long. They're way overdone. The chefs bring out their plates. Kevin's dessert gets poor to mixed reviews. Gail likes the bacon crumblies, but one of the Names is tired of chefs throwing bacon into desserts. Ptom thinks Kevin didn't do enough with the banana. Michael has made candied pumpkin seeds, which were good, but his cakes were dry. Bryan's cheesecake was "nice". Geez. If you just heard the deliberations, you'd never know this was the most successful final three ever. Based on the judges' conversation, it frankly sounds like a disappointing meal. Strange. The chefs come out for cursory applause, and so that Padma can tell them she'll see them later at Judges' Table. All three of the chefs think they have a good shot at the title, but Michael is nervous about his lackluster dessert.
Fret 'n sweat. Michael has both of those things covered. Judges' Table. Odd Asian Music and Gong breeze in so they can get through their work and go on vacation for a while. The chefs enter, and Padma thanks them for the meal, which was "an amazing end to an amazing season". I'm just not buying it. Nobody had that moment. You know, the one where you take a bite of truly extraordinary food and just lose yourself in it. I don't think I saw an expression much higher than "Meh" at that table. As to the dishes, Bryan's mystery box course was well-cooked, but it didn't have a lot of contrast, imagination, or seasoning. His venison was great. Kevin's childhood memory course was flavorful and complex. His pork belly needed more time, and the judges are surprised that he didn't deliver on his speciality. Michael's mystery box course was excellent. He's a creative cook, and takes risks, which judges always love. Michael's dessert was disappointing, which he admits. For some reason, the judges bend over backwards to excuse him for it. I don't know if they already had their minds made up or what, but they just shrugged off the detriments of a dessert they would have blasted any of the eliminated chefs for.
Padma asks the pageant question of why each chef "deserves" to be Top Chef. Bryan says that he expressed himself through his cuisine. Michael jokes that he just doesn't want Bryan to win. When everyone's done giggling, Michael really sells himself again, saying that cooking is what he is, and that he's never collected a paycheck for doing anything else, nor will he ever. He lives and breathes food. The judges wet their pants, because this neat package of American Dream is exactly what they're looking for. Ironically, a heartfelt speech on this show about how much food means to you is as important -- if not more -- than the actual food. A point to Michael for playing the production like a fiddle here. Kevin says he cooks soulful food that speaks to the person that he is. The judges are still swooning over Michael, and hardly pay attention. The chefs are dismissed.
Deliberations. Kevin had the most interesting, flavorful first course. Ptom found Bryan's bland, but Toby liked it, saying he didn't mind at all that it was underseasoned.
Limecrete: "Wow, the British judge likes bland food? Shut the fuck up."
Michael's fried broccoli completely overwhelmed the prawn. On the second course, Michael was king. He was smart and creative with the mystery box ingredients. Gail didn't care for Michael's tomato, but hated Kevin's mushroom more. Bryan's was safe and boring. Gail can't find a flaw in Bryan's third course. Toby admits that it was good, but says that it wasn't as memorable as Michael's squab. Gail lobs back that although the squab was good, two other components (the mushroom and the pistachio cassoulet) weren't up to par. Kevin is not even in the running on this course, as his pork belly was tough and unsophisticated. Michael's dessert execution was off, but his bold flavors made sense, whatever that means. I'm sorry, but "I know what you were going for," is an acceptable reason to keep someone around in Episode 1 or 2. Not the finale. Kevin's dessert was disappointing. He's clearly bound for culinary greatness, but he had a bad night. Bryan's dessert was restrained and sophisticated. Had Michael put out the dessert he intended, it may have been better than Bryan's, but it wasn't. The judges reach a decision.
Final decision. Ptom congratulates all three chefs. Padma starts with some bad news, and dismisses Kevin right away. It's amazing how many seasons this happens in. A favorite strides into the finals, then immediately shoots him or herself in the foot. Casey committed game suicide in Season Three. Richard flailed at the last minute in Season Four. Carla fell apart in Season Five. And here is Kevin, who unquestionably ruled this entire season. He dominated challenge after challenge, came to the finals, and promptly lost his head. It's a shame, because while I can support his elimination under the rules of the game, he's probably the most talented competitor this show has ever seen. The producers are giddy that Kevin lost his groove, though, because it sets up a magnificently television-friendly Battle of the Brothers for the final two. Kevin walks back to the fret 'n sweat room, where his mom is waiting to give him a conciliatory hug. He's disappointed, but proud of what he's accomplished, saying that he was the underdog from the very beginning. Kevin, you know I love you, but you do not get to win every goddamn challenge under the sun, then call yourself an underdog. Sorry, buddy.
Back at Judges' Table, Ptom obligingly plays up the EMOTION of a SIBLING RIVALRY final two, where two such professional chefs must STRUGGLE with their FEELINGS. Blah, blah, blah. Let's just get to the winner, which is... Michael. Even though he's spent the entire season talking himself up, he looks genuinely shocked. I'm sure he was thinking that the dessert course had torpedoed his chances. Bryan congratulates him, and pulls him in for a hug. Michael interviews that he's happier about having Bryan in the finals with him than about winning. He wishes both of them could have won. Uh huh. Also, he's got a pet unicorn, and Nigerian princes are waiting to wire you two million dollars. Voltaggimom comes out to hug them both. Michael leaks a few tears, and tells Padma she's finally getting the emotion she wanted. Heh. Bryan is disappointed, but displays his trademark stoicism. Hugs and handshakes are exchanged, and the season comes to a close with Michael saying that he's learned about himself as a person and as a cook.
That's an interesting distinction, actually. As I said in the short version, if the competition were judged solely on food, I wouldn't have a problem with any of these three chefs winning. I haven't tasted their cooking, of course, but we can figure out a lot based on judging and diners' reactions. If they say that Michael had the best food of the night and/or is the most talented chef overall, I have no reason to disbelieve that. But as I also said in the short version, it's also nice when the winner has an enjoyable personality on top of being meritorious. I can respect someone who does good work, but I have greater respect for someone who does good work without having to resort to being an ass to get it done. Given that this is a television show well before it is a cooking competition, how much should personality weigh into the decision? Is the positive force of Michael's talent so great that it's better than Bryan's talent + Bryan's personality? Is Michael so much better than Kevin that you'd prefer to work with him yelling "Relax! Relax! Relax! Relax! RE-LAX!" in your face every night?
These sound like rhetorical questions, but they're not. If this were a genuine cooking competition, or you were eating in a restaurant at which you'd never even come into contact with the chef, it wouldn't matter. You'd want the person with the best food. But when you watch a television show, you not only want the winner to deserve the achievement, you want to like them. You want to root for them, and it's difficult to resolve the situation when you don't. Looking back at Top Chef's history, we see that they do not have a great track record in this regard. Ilan was a scum-sucking douchebag. Hung was arrogant and condescending. Hosea was nice enough, but about as interesting as toast. And here we have Michael, the cold, snide victor, who swayed the judges with romantic talk of his Life's Work while serving dry cake and undercooked prawn. I don't know. I don't begrudge Michael the win for a moment, but at the same time, I have to admit to some disappointment. I like that Top Chef hands out the award to people who they believe can cook great food. I don't like that Top Chef hands out the award to people who kind of suck as people. Make of that what you will.
As to the season postmortem, I have very few complaints. They did a great job this time around. They seemed to focus on finding talented competitors, rather than people who would act up for attention. Mike was the exception to that, of course, but there's always got to be at least one, right? I didn't enjoy the Mean Girl mentality of ganging up on Robin, but it never got out of hand. Except for pointing out the obvious fact that Toby is woefully unqualified and works way too hard to be acerbic and witty (and fails every time), the judging was mostly sound and reasonable. I don't think Ptom really annoyed me once, which is a new milestone. If I had to pick the worst episode, I'd pick the Air Force challenge without hesitation. As I said then, I'm all for patriotism, but I felt like I was being bludgeoned to death by a bald eagle with an American flag in one talon and Mom's apple pie in the other. Not only that, but the judging was clearly steered towards getting rid of someone boring, rather than someone bad. Other than that, it was an interesting, well-crafted season, and I look forward to the next one.
Overall Grade: B-
Overall Season Grade: A-
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Crushed Dreams
Top Chef - Season 6, Episode 13
Previously on Top Chef: Kevin won another Elimination Challenge. The chefs went through a fake Bocuse d'Or that had real consequences for Eli. Now, four chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Opening credits. With the season coming to a close, the viewing party goes snack crazy. For the first half of the finale, we had turkey tetrazzini, cheese fondue, olive salsa, sausage dip, Fruity Pebble treats, and a multitude of wines. Perhaps not the most well-balanced meal, but a very enjoyable one.
Monday Morning Quarterback session. We get a brief look back at the final four throughout the season, and a few of their opinions on each other. Kevin is complimentary. Jenc is flustered. Michael is snotty. Bryan is. The finalists roll into a Napa Valley train station under a picturesque rainbow. They chat to each other about what they've been up to since they've finally gotten some time off from each other, and they chat to us about how they're totally going to win. A train pulls up to the station, and a very pregnant Padma steps out, along with this week's guest judge, Michael Chiarello. Michael (the contestant) admires him, ostensibly because he's such an awesome chef, but probably more because he saw the episode where Chiarello got into a snit with Douchebag Dale. Michael loves snits.
Quickfire Challenge. The chefs will be cooking with and featuring the most natural ingredient you can find in these parts: Grapes! The chefs will have half an hour to get their food ready, and they will then serve to Padma and Chiarello on the train. Oh, and by the way... They'll be cooking in the cramped train kitchen. This is a high-stakes Quickfire, so the winner will get a nice little prize in their Christmas stocking. It turns out to be a Prius. Nice! The chefs are all jazzed. Padma starts the clock, and the chefs hustle onto the train and stock up on ingredients, including several varieties of grape. Everyone gets cooking, and bumps up against each other in the narrow kitchen space. A hideous Frankenbyte makes Bryan sound angry about Michael beating him to the small prep space, but it's so obviously cobbled together from different quotes, Bryan may as well have been talking about standing in line at the DMV. Kevin works on dessert, and questions his choice of grape. Jenc is pleased with hers. Michael wants to use as many parts of the grape as he can. Bryan muses over the fact that he's never won a Quickfire. Hey, Stephanie was terrible at Quickfires, and she did all right for herself. Time runs out, and the chefs present their dishes.
Kevin has made honey and cheese mousse with glazed grapes, sea salt, and thyme. It's very pretty. Michael has stuffed a grape leaf with couscous filling, and serves it with a spice blend, vinegar reduction, and a kebab of grapes and scallops. Bryan has roasted hen with Brussels sprouts and bacon. The grapes have been reduced into a sauce and the grape flesh was added back in at the end. Jenc has made chicken liver with steamed clams, and serves it with a sauce of grapes, grape tendrils, and wild mushrooms. Results. Kevin's was tasty, but light on grape. Michael, on the other hand, used his grapes very wisely. Bryan's smoky bacon matched the grape well. Jenc's was impressive enough to steal for Chiarello's own restaurant. The winner of the challenge and the snazzy ride is... Michael. He's pleased, but still focused on the challenge ahead.
Elimination Challenge. The chefs approach a winery, where they're told there is going to be a Crush party celebrating the grape harvest's end, which is capped with grape stomping. Sounds like a fun party activity. I'd love to jump up and down on some grapes. The party will have 150 guests, and the chefs will be responsible for making two dishes. The focus will be on local ingredients, so the chefs won't have access to ingredients that aren't raised or grown nearby. One of the dishes has to be vegetarian, and one has to feature a local protein. They'll shop at a Farmer's Market, and will have five hours to cook and prep.
Shopping. The chefs get forty-five minutes and $600. The market looks great, and reminds me that I really have to get down to Soulard before it gets intolerably cold. Jenc, knowing full well that she tends to fall apart when she's unfocused and has got too many ideas flying around her head, has too many ideas flying around her head. She finally settles on duck for her protein. Michael wants to feature the freshness of local eggs. Kevin knows Michael disdains his simple style, but has no plans to complicate his dishes, believing that he can beat Michael with that simplicity.
Cooking montage. Michael has an intensely long prep list, and jumps into a whirlpool of activity from the first moment. Jenc describes the environment as competitive, but not meanly so. I wish she'd go around to every reality show and explain the difference between "I hope I beat you, but good luck," and "I'm an unrepentant dickweed, which I will attempt to pawn off on a 'competitive' nature". Bryan debones short ribs to make for a faster braise. Michael tells us that there's definitely a sibling rivalry going on between him and Bryan. Whoa! No way! I never picked up on that in the nineteen-thousand other interviews about sibling rivalry sprinkled generously across the season! Ptom stops by to talk with everyone. They describe what they'll be preparing, which we'll hear about later anyway, so is this a complete waste of time? It is! Jenc discovers that the coals in the stove aren't hot enough to cook her duck, so she's switching to confit in duck fat. Kevin worries about the tenderness of his brisket. Michael frets over his eggs. "It's either going to be OK, or it's not," he says. Oh, good. I was hoping I could pile more evidence in the "Top Chef 6 - DUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!" file before the end of the season. Time winds down.
After the commercials, the chefs are setting up their stations at the Crush party. Before they know it, the scene is flooded with guests. The judges stride in soon after. Holy hell, what crime against fashion is Padma perpetrating this time? She's got on a black, knee-length dress, high red boots, and what looks like a black shrug, suggesting a cape billowing out the back.
Panny: "Who the hell is dressing her?"
Limecrete: "Carmen Sandiego, apparently."
Michael cajoles some guests into helping him set out bowls so he can work on serving the food. Kevin describes his protein to some interested people. The judges approach Bryan's station, and happily, Gail is available this week, so we don't have to put up with Toby. Bryan's vegetarian dish is goat cheese ravioli over a squash puree with mushrooms and fennel. His protein is fig-glazed short rib with celeriac puree, wax beans, and arugula. The judges all love the ravioli, but feel the sauce beneath it needs seasoning. The short rib is also slightly underseasoned. Michael is still trying to garner help from the party guests. His vegetarian dish is a vegetable pistou with heirloom tomato coulis, a poached egg, squash flowers, and fennel. His protein dish is a turnip soup with foie gras terrine, a poached pear, and glazed turnip. The judges like the egg, but find that it overpowers the vegetables. Padma's egg is underdone. Judging from that expanding uterus, I'd say the egg is plenty done. Ba-zing! Everyone likes the foie gras, but finds it a bit over-sauced.
Kevin's vegetarian dish is roasted beets and carrots in a honey vinaigrette, resting on a carrot top puree, and topped with local cheese. His meat dish is braised brisket with pumpkin polenta, and marinated root vegetables. He gives props to the locals who dedicate their lives to making wine, and compliments those who master this craft, only "craft" kind of sounds like "crap", which makes this speech a hell of a lot funnier. The judges are over the moon for Kevin's veggie dish, but the brisket is stringy and tough. The polenta underneath it is good, though. Odd for the barbecue king of Atlanta to wow with plants and fall down on the beef. Jenc's vegetarian option is chevre mousse with honey mushrooms, braised radishes, and basil. Granted, I'm not a fan of mushrooms, so I may not get a vote here, but honey AND mushrooms? Ew. Her meat plate is braised duck legs and duck breast confit, with squash puree and a foie gras vinaigrette. She's even come up with a couple of wine pairings for her food, which was smart. The judges find the veggie dish salty, but with impressive undertones. The duck is hearty and flavorful. Various guests talk about how much they enjoyed the dishes.
Michael sings his favorite tune about how happy he is with his food, and that other people -- nod, nod, Kevin -- are playing things too safe. I guess the lesson didn't sink in after all. Kevin points out that all of the final four have had major success over the course of the season, not just a challenge here and there. Someone talented is heading home.
Interstitial. The chefs drink. The viewing party drinks.
Judges' Table. Padma summons everyone to the dining room. Odd Asian Music and Gong make their brief appearance, then head off to get drunk somewhere. The judges open by heartily congratulating all four chefs on the talent and professionalism they've displayed this season. I actually believe them. I know that every season of every show is supposed to be the MOST! TALENTED! CAST! EVER! but that rarely turns out to be the case. In this instance, though, it really seems like the level of talent this year has been superb, and I have no problem believing all four of these people consistently cook amazing food. Now, to the technicalities. Kevin's vegetarian dish was stellar. Ptom says that despite its simplicity, the restraint Kevin showed goes a long way. Michael sucks a lemon. Kevin is slightly taken to task for his tough brisket, but not very much. Bryan's ravioli was perfect, but the sauce needed seasoning, as did his meat dish. Also, the figs didn't shine through as much as they could have. Michael loses some points for the cut of his vegetables, as well as the underdone egg that Padma got. The meat dish was tasty. Chiarello says he was surprised at how the elements came together in his mouth.
Viewing party: "That's what she said."
Gail found the soup a bit bitter, which was fine as long as it had the meat and pear to counteract it. The problem was that there was far more soup than the other components. Jenc's goat cheese dish was "interesting". The basil was nice, but the rest was salty. Ptom points out that during his Ptimewaste, she said she was going to grill it, and wonders why that didn't happen. Jenc describes how the coals got too cold, and when asked if she would have preferred to grill it if she could have, she assents. That makes her look bad (essentially conveying "I wish I could have done a completely different preparation,") but it's a little unfair, because of course she would prefer to stick to her original plan, as would everyone. The chefs are dismissed.
Deliberations. Chiarello points out that nobody's food was bad, so they have to delve into the nuances of who made the biggest mistake. Jenc's goat cheese was good, but had too much salt. The best part of her duck dish was the foie gras vinaigrette, and there wasn't much of it. Michael took big risks, and it mostly paid off. The egg was too sloppy, though. Bryan's ravioli was fantastic, but he had seasoning problems across the board. Kevin knows how to turn two ingredients into a full, satisfying dish. His brisket had texture issues, and despite his sneaky use of the word "toothsome" to admit it was tough without out-and-out calling it so, the judges weren't impressed. The chefs think the judges have a tough choice, because unlike previous episodes (and seasons), there isn't an obvious pile of shite on the table to eliminate. Strange that you can't say "shit" on TV, but "shite" (and "merde") are just peachy. I'm going to start cursing in foreign languages all the time, you matherchoth. The judges make a decision.
Elimination. First, the winner. It's someone who made the most of the Farmer's Market, and was the closest to perfect. It's Bryan. He interviews that he's very excited, and laughs that goofy, endearing laugh of his. He's dismissed. Of the remaining three, all were missing something. Kevin's beef dish was stringy. Michael's egg was disappointing. Jenc was a little scattered and unfocused. AGAIN. Ptom reiterates what a tough decision it was, but they did make one. Jenc. Please pack your knives and go. Padma's eyes shift off camera for a moment as she says it, though I don't know if it's because she's a bit upset to deliver this news, or if something's distracting her. I figured Jenc would be the one cut, if only because of the concentration issues she's had in a few episodes. Jenc is happy for the experience, saying that it's pushed her to become a better chef, and to expand her creativity. She hugs the guys good-bye, and says that it's tough to know that you can do better than what you put out, but just not have the time to do it. Yeah, that must suck. As I said in the short version, Jenc may be leaving in fourth place in this season, but if you could transplant her to the other ones (such as Hosea's or Ilan's), she'd almost undoubtedly win. I'm not worried about her; her future looks pretty damn secure.
Next week on Top Chef: A winner! More fondue and booze for me!
Overall Grade: B+
Previously on Top Chef: Kevin won another Elimination Challenge. The chefs went through a fake Bocuse d'Or that had real consequences for Eli. Now, four chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Opening credits. With the season coming to a close, the viewing party goes snack crazy. For the first half of the finale, we had turkey tetrazzini, cheese fondue, olive salsa, sausage dip, Fruity Pebble treats, and a multitude of wines. Perhaps not the most well-balanced meal, but a very enjoyable one.
Monday Morning Quarterback session. We get a brief look back at the final four throughout the season, and a few of their opinions on each other. Kevin is complimentary. Jenc is flustered. Michael is snotty. Bryan is. The finalists roll into a Napa Valley train station under a picturesque rainbow. They chat to each other about what they've been up to since they've finally gotten some time off from each other, and they chat to us about how they're totally going to win. A train pulls up to the station, and a very pregnant Padma steps out, along with this week's guest judge, Michael Chiarello. Michael (the contestant) admires him, ostensibly because he's such an awesome chef, but probably more because he saw the episode where Chiarello got into a snit with Douchebag Dale. Michael loves snits.
Quickfire Challenge. The chefs will be cooking with and featuring the most natural ingredient you can find in these parts: Grapes! The chefs will have half an hour to get their food ready, and they will then serve to Padma and Chiarello on the train. Oh, and by the way... They'll be cooking in the cramped train kitchen. This is a high-stakes Quickfire, so the winner will get a nice little prize in their Christmas stocking. It turns out to be a Prius. Nice! The chefs are all jazzed. Padma starts the clock, and the chefs hustle onto the train and stock up on ingredients, including several varieties of grape. Everyone gets cooking, and bumps up against each other in the narrow kitchen space. A hideous Frankenbyte makes Bryan sound angry about Michael beating him to the small prep space, but it's so obviously cobbled together from different quotes, Bryan may as well have been talking about standing in line at the DMV. Kevin works on dessert, and questions his choice of grape. Jenc is pleased with hers. Michael wants to use as many parts of the grape as he can. Bryan muses over the fact that he's never won a Quickfire. Hey, Stephanie was terrible at Quickfires, and she did all right for herself. Time runs out, and the chefs present their dishes.
Kevin has made honey and cheese mousse with glazed grapes, sea salt, and thyme. It's very pretty. Michael has stuffed a grape leaf with couscous filling, and serves it with a spice blend, vinegar reduction, and a kebab of grapes and scallops. Bryan has roasted hen with Brussels sprouts and bacon. The grapes have been reduced into a sauce and the grape flesh was added back in at the end. Jenc has made chicken liver with steamed clams, and serves it with a sauce of grapes, grape tendrils, and wild mushrooms. Results. Kevin's was tasty, but light on grape. Michael, on the other hand, used his grapes very wisely. Bryan's smoky bacon matched the grape well. Jenc's was impressive enough to steal for Chiarello's own restaurant. The winner of the challenge and the snazzy ride is... Michael. He's pleased, but still focused on the challenge ahead.
Elimination Challenge. The chefs approach a winery, where they're told there is going to be a Crush party celebrating the grape harvest's end, which is capped with grape stomping. Sounds like a fun party activity. I'd love to jump up and down on some grapes. The party will have 150 guests, and the chefs will be responsible for making two dishes. The focus will be on local ingredients, so the chefs won't have access to ingredients that aren't raised or grown nearby. One of the dishes has to be vegetarian, and one has to feature a local protein. They'll shop at a Farmer's Market, and will have five hours to cook and prep.
Shopping. The chefs get forty-five minutes and $600. The market looks great, and reminds me that I really have to get down to Soulard before it gets intolerably cold. Jenc, knowing full well that she tends to fall apart when she's unfocused and has got too many ideas flying around her head, has too many ideas flying around her head. She finally settles on duck for her protein. Michael wants to feature the freshness of local eggs. Kevin knows Michael disdains his simple style, but has no plans to complicate his dishes, believing that he can beat Michael with that simplicity.
Cooking montage. Michael has an intensely long prep list, and jumps into a whirlpool of activity from the first moment. Jenc describes the environment as competitive, but not meanly so. I wish she'd go around to every reality show and explain the difference between "I hope I beat you, but good luck," and "I'm an unrepentant dickweed, which I will attempt to pawn off on a 'competitive' nature". Bryan debones short ribs to make for a faster braise. Michael tells us that there's definitely a sibling rivalry going on between him and Bryan. Whoa! No way! I never picked up on that in the nineteen-thousand other interviews about sibling rivalry sprinkled generously across the season! Ptom stops by to talk with everyone. They describe what they'll be preparing, which we'll hear about later anyway, so is this a complete waste of time? It is! Jenc discovers that the coals in the stove aren't hot enough to cook her duck, so she's switching to confit in duck fat. Kevin worries about the tenderness of his brisket. Michael frets over his eggs. "It's either going to be OK, or it's not," he says. Oh, good. I was hoping I could pile more evidence in the "Top Chef 6 - DUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!" file before the end of the season. Time winds down.
After the commercials, the chefs are setting up their stations at the Crush party. Before they know it, the scene is flooded with guests. The judges stride in soon after. Holy hell, what crime against fashion is Padma perpetrating this time? She's got on a black, knee-length dress, high red boots, and what looks like a black shrug, suggesting a cape billowing out the back.
Panny: "Who the hell is dressing her?"
Limecrete: "Carmen Sandiego, apparently."
Michael cajoles some guests into helping him set out bowls so he can work on serving the food. Kevin describes his protein to some interested people. The judges approach Bryan's station, and happily, Gail is available this week, so we don't have to put up with Toby. Bryan's vegetarian dish is goat cheese ravioli over a squash puree with mushrooms and fennel. His protein is fig-glazed short rib with celeriac puree, wax beans, and arugula. The judges all love the ravioli, but feel the sauce beneath it needs seasoning. The short rib is also slightly underseasoned. Michael is still trying to garner help from the party guests. His vegetarian dish is a vegetable pistou with heirloom tomato coulis, a poached egg, squash flowers, and fennel. His protein dish is a turnip soup with foie gras terrine, a poached pear, and glazed turnip. The judges like the egg, but find that it overpowers the vegetables. Padma's egg is underdone. Judging from that expanding uterus, I'd say the egg is plenty done. Ba-zing! Everyone likes the foie gras, but finds it a bit over-sauced.
Kevin's vegetarian dish is roasted beets and carrots in a honey vinaigrette, resting on a carrot top puree, and topped with local cheese. His meat dish is braised brisket with pumpkin polenta, and marinated root vegetables. He gives props to the locals who dedicate their lives to making wine, and compliments those who master this craft, only "craft" kind of sounds like "crap", which makes this speech a hell of a lot funnier. The judges are over the moon for Kevin's veggie dish, but the brisket is stringy and tough. The polenta underneath it is good, though. Odd for the barbecue king of Atlanta to wow with plants and fall down on the beef. Jenc's vegetarian option is chevre mousse with honey mushrooms, braised radishes, and basil. Granted, I'm not a fan of mushrooms, so I may not get a vote here, but honey AND mushrooms? Ew. Her meat plate is braised duck legs and duck breast confit, with squash puree and a foie gras vinaigrette. She's even come up with a couple of wine pairings for her food, which was smart. The judges find the veggie dish salty, but with impressive undertones. The duck is hearty and flavorful. Various guests talk about how much they enjoyed the dishes.
Michael sings his favorite tune about how happy he is with his food, and that other people -- nod, nod, Kevin -- are playing things too safe. I guess the lesson didn't sink in after all. Kevin points out that all of the final four have had major success over the course of the season, not just a challenge here and there. Someone talented is heading home.
Interstitial. The chefs drink. The viewing party drinks.
Judges' Table. Padma summons everyone to the dining room. Odd Asian Music and Gong make their brief appearance, then head off to get drunk somewhere. The judges open by heartily congratulating all four chefs on the talent and professionalism they've displayed this season. I actually believe them. I know that every season of every show is supposed to be the MOST! TALENTED! CAST! EVER! but that rarely turns out to be the case. In this instance, though, it really seems like the level of talent this year has been superb, and I have no problem believing all four of these people consistently cook amazing food. Now, to the technicalities. Kevin's vegetarian dish was stellar. Ptom says that despite its simplicity, the restraint Kevin showed goes a long way. Michael sucks a lemon. Kevin is slightly taken to task for his tough brisket, but not very much. Bryan's ravioli was perfect, but the sauce needed seasoning, as did his meat dish. Also, the figs didn't shine through as much as they could have. Michael loses some points for the cut of his vegetables, as well as the underdone egg that Padma got. The meat dish was tasty. Chiarello says he was surprised at how the elements came together in his mouth.
Viewing party: "That's what she said."
Gail found the soup a bit bitter, which was fine as long as it had the meat and pear to counteract it. The problem was that there was far more soup than the other components. Jenc's goat cheese dish was "interesting". The basil was nice, but the rest was salty. Ptom points out that during his Ptimewaste, she said she was going to grill it, and wonders why that didn't happen. Jenc describes how the coals got too cold, and when asked if she would have preferred to grill it if she could have, she assents. That makes her look bad (essentially conveying "I wish I could have done a completely different preparation,") but it's a little unfair, because of course she would prefer to stick to her original plan, as would everyone. The chefs are dismissed.
Deliberations. Chiarello points out that nobody's food was bad, so they have to delve into the nuances of who made the biggest mistake. Jenc's goat cheese was good, but had too much salt. The best part of her duck dish was the foie gras vinaigrette, and there wasn't much of it. Michael took big risks, and it mostly paid off. The egg was too sloppy, though. Bryan's ravioli was fantastic, but he had seasoning problems across the board. Kevin knows how to turn two ingredients into a full, satisfying dish. His brisket had texture issues, and despite his sneaky use of the word "toothsome" to admit it was tough without out-and-out calling it so, the judges weren't impressed. The chefs think the judges have a tough choice, because unlike previous episodes (and seasons), there isn't an obvious pile of shite on the table to eliminate. Strange that you can't say "shit" on TV, but "shite" (and "merde") are just peachy. I'm going to start cursing in foreign languages all the time, you matherchoth. The judges make a decision.
Elimination. First, the winner. It's someone who made the most of the Farmer's Market, and was the closest to perfect. It's Bryan. He interviews that he's very excited, and laughs that goofy, endearing laugh of his. He's dismissed. Of the remaining three, all were missing something. Kevin's beef dish was stringy. Michael's egg was disappointing. Jenc was a little scattered and unfocused. AGAIN. Ptom reiterates what a tough decision it was, but they did make one. Jenc. Please pack your knives and go. Padma's eyes shift off camera for a moment as she says it, though I don't know if it's because she's a bit upset to deliver this news, or if something's distracting her. I figured Jenc would be the one cut, if only because of the concentration issues she's had in a few episodes. Jenc is happy for the experience, saying that it's pushed her to become a better chef, and to expand her creativity. She hugs the guys good-bye, and says that it's tough to know that you can do better than what you put out, but just not have the time to do it. Yeah, that must suck. As I said in the short version, Jenc may be leaving in fourth place in this season, but if you could transplant her to the other ones (such as Hosea's or Ilan's), she'd almost undoubtedly win. I'm not worried about her; her future looks pretty damn secure.
Next week on Top Chef: A winner! More fondue and booze for me!
Overall Grade: B+
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