Finale - Part 1

Top Chef - Season 3, Episode 14

Previously on Top Chef: Cooking. Teamwork. Acrimony. Good challenges. A bullshit challenge. Mohawks. Incompetent judging. Flop sweat. Cuteness. Tears. Egotism. A refreshing lack of backstabbing, whiny, passive-aggressive assholes. Odd Asian music. Gongs. Sexism. Enough liquor to stock an infinite number of frat parties. Four chefs remain. Who will survive to duke it out in the real finale?

Opening menu. For the first time this season, schedules refused to mesh, and I was on my own, so the gourmet menu for tonight was a bag of microwave popcorn with some garlic salt sprinkled on it. Fancy!

Aspen, Colorado. Everything is ridiculously pretty. Dale, Casey, and Brian meet at the airport. Dale looks a little naked without his beard. Casey has had some very ill-advised highlights put into her hair. We jump right into reality show patter, as Dale talks about the high stakes in Aspen. Brian mentions getting some awards in the month since the New York challenges. Hung shows up, and interviews that his skills and techniques are more advanced than his competitors'. Looks like not much has changed.

The chefs are driven through a beautiful mountainous region as Brian interviews that he grew up in an area very much like this, and that he's brought along his cowboy hat, just in case. He flashes the camera a dazzling smile. In the car, Brian gasps and clutches at Hung, who jumps about a mile. Hahaha! Brian has spotted a hot air balloon being filled, and which has the Top Chef logo on the side. Three of the chefs are thrilled. Casey, who's not the biggest fan of heights, doesn't want to go. Through the magic of television, we skip the off-camera time spent convincing her, slipping her a Valium, or pointing out the fine print in her Bravo contract that states she is now their slave, and everyone is soon soaring through the air. Mimosas are passed around. The chefs toast each other, and Brian says that he loves them all. Aw. Take a moment to consider this top four, then consider last season's top four. Yeah, it makes me happy, too.

Dale interviews about the rough year he had before the competition, which involved having "chef's block", losing his job, and getting dumped. The competition has re-energized him, which is nice to hear. Hung is competing for his family, and gives us more of the heartwarming story of immigrant success that we started to hear about last week. Hope you like it, because you're going to hear a lot about it tonight. I'm jaded enough to think that this is part of a redemption arc so that people won't be upset when Hung wins the entire contest. I've already reached that point. I'm still rooting for Casey, but I'd actually be all right with any of the four winning. It's a nice, calming feeling not to have to spend two weeks terrified that we're about to suffer another Jeffrey or Ilan. Anyhow, the balloon lands in a field near a picturesque river. Brian thinks that the balloon ride is "the quiet before the storm." He's right.

Quickfire Challenge. The always-intense music is somewhat at odds with the serene shots of a fisherman and a trout cutting its way through the water. The chefs walk up to the river, where they're met by Padma and Eric Ripert, who will serve as guest judge for this round of the finale. The chefs pay appropriate lip service to how famous and accomplished Ripert is, although I think it's a bit odd that a New York seafood chef was picked to judge a round of challenges that will have nothing to do with his area of expertise. It'd be like having Missy Elliott judge an opera contest. Padma describes the challenge. The chefs will have twenty minutes, and will be working with fresh trout. Like, died-five-minutes-ago fresh. They'll also get a frying pan, a dinky camping stove, and access to a basic selection of pantry ingredients. Dale is petrified, saying that he's a horrible seafood chef. Well, no worries, because as we're about to learn, accomplished seafood chefs aren't that skilled at working with good ol' American freshwater creatures, either. Naturally, there's no immunity, but the winner will get a useful advantage in the upcoming Elimination Challenge.

Ready? Go! This isn't the best environment for showcasing one's skills at the best of times, and these guys have had a month off, so everyone is flailing wildly. Dale has trouble scaling the fish. Brian has forgotten how hard it is to battle the clock. Casey loses some fish in the grass. Dale's cooking station rests at a slant, so his pans slide around, and the heat is applied unevenly. The only one who's not worried is Hung, who is as self-possessed as always. Brian begins struggling more and more. He has no idea what he's making, and nothing is working out. Casey is surprised that Brian would have trouble with fish, of all ingredients. Hung finishes up with seven minutes to spare. He's extremely pleased with himself as he sets the plates down, although I'd think that the fish would go cold in that amount of time. Brian has now accepted that there's no way in hell he's going to win the challenge. Padma counts down the final seconds. The moment time runs out, Hung realizes that he meant to put lemon juice on his fish, which was a major component. I don't get the deal with squirting a bunch of lemon juice on fish. My mother likes to do that, but I think it obscures the fish's flavor. Anyhow, Hung realizes he's screwed himself over.

Padma and Eric start with Brian. He's cooked the trout in rendered bacon fat, and it's served with trout eggs, red pepper, and brown butter. There's a messy pile of greens as well. Eric wonders why Brian didn't use all the fish he's cut up, and Brian says that there wouldn't have been enough time to cook it all the way through. Hey, that didn't stop Saram. Casey has made trout filet with crisped skin (intriguing), and has served it with grapes and summer corn. Sounds good. Both Padma and Eric enjoy it. Hung has made a curried filet of trout with sauteed mushrooms. I don't like mushrooms on the best of days, but they sound extra disgusting on fish. Hung makes the mistake of presenting his dish as if it had the lemon juice in it, but then has to amend his statement to admit that he forgot to include it. Eek. It's never a good idea to specify an ingredient the judges now know to miss. Eric shoots Hung a dirty look. Dale has prepared filet of trout, which is dusted with cayenne pepper, and has bourbon, rendered bacon, and sauteed apple and fennel on top. Sounds tasty.

Results. Brian was Eric's least favorite. His salad was bland, and his trout was a miss as well. An interviewer must have asked Brian about his failure, given his speciality, and Brian's response is that seafood chefs don't even consider trout to be in their purview. Dale's food didn't impress Eric, either, because the cayenne was overpowering. That leaves Hung and Casey as the favorites. Hung's was very precise, but adding the lemon juice would have provided a nice contrast. Casey's fish was well-seasoned, and the corn and grapes went well with it. Also, her dish "had a soul", which is very important. Ouch, Hung! Casey is blown away by such high praise. Eric is asked to choose a winner, and he selects Casey. She's happy about the win, but even happier about getting such a nice comment from such a well-known chef. She almost starts crying. There's a quote from Hung about how he tasted Casey's dish, and that he thinks his was more refined. Honestly, that quote sounded patched together, so I'm not going to get into a rant about rampant senses of entitlement. Hung does seem to be obsessed with a food's refinement, though. Hopefully, this experience will teach him that there's a lot more to good food than precise technique and fast knives. The chefs are sent off to their hotel, where Dale blahs about pulling his shit together for the Elimination Challenge, and Hung blahs some more about the Great Melting Pot.

Commercials. I'd find the burgers at Red Robin a lot more compelling if there were a single one in the Metro area.

Like Dale, Brian's low Quickfire placement has snapped him back into competition mode. Dale explains that all of the chefs were given $200 to bring whatever additional ingredients they'd like to use in the finale. He has brought a lot of spices. Casey has brought Asian ingredients unlikely to be provided in Aspen. Hung has also brought Asian ingredients, saying that he's ready to cook his style of food. Not so fast, sucka! Here comes the Elimination Challenge. The chefs are driven to a ranch, where Padma does her best to look Western. She says that the ranch is hosting a get-together for a bunch of rodeo riders tonight, and that the chefs will be providing the food. They'll use the supplies already delivered to the ranch, and will need to make enough food for 45 people. Whew. On first viewing, I thought she said 4500 people, and my jaw hit the ground. Hung: "What the hell do cowboys and cowgirls eat? Baked beans and baked beans and baked beans?" Mark it. Hung has completely cracked me up for the first time. Dale is similarly inexperienced with cowboy cuisine, having only spent time with cowboys in the bedroom, not the kitchen. Brian grew up on a ranch, but is still wary of what the challenge entails.

Padma tells the chefs that they'll have three hours to prep and cook their food before bringing it back to the ranch. As winner of the Quickfire, Casey is the only chef entitled to use the extra ingredients she has brought along. Dale bemoans the fact that he won't be able to use his arsenal of spices. Padma dismisses the chefs with a "see you back at the ranch", which Brian responds to with a flat "yee-haw". Hehe. The chefs head to a resort kitchen, where a staff member reveals the ingredient that they'll all be working with. Elk meat. You can imagine how that goes over with the King of Refined Cuisine. Yep, Hung is deeply unhappy at having to work with such a "heavy, boring" protein. Brian says that elk meat is gamey, and definitely not seafood. Thanks for the clarification. The chefs break, and spring into their three hours of prep. Dale interviews that there's a really specific way to cook elk, and since he knows its ins and outs, he feels like he's well-positioned for this challenge. Casey is similarly pleased, but reminds herself to decide on a method that will work within the time limit.

Brian begins working with the elk shank. He's going to prepare whiskey-braised elk shank, horseradish and sour cream potato puree, a pancetta corn asparagus relish (ick), and blackberry balsamic and sage brown butter. Dale interviews that elk meat should braise for about ten to twelve hours, so Brian's three-hour braise is going to be a tough sell. Hung works on seared elk loin, pommes boulangere, and a chocolate red wine sauce. This is the first challenge in which Hung sounds stressed and rushed. He interviews that he's not even going to attempt to cook to please the rodeo riders. He's going to cook to please the judges. I'd normally be displeased with someone willingly ignoring the audience they should be actively trying to woo, but given the way the judging has been conducted this season, I don't blame him a bit. Team Sweet-Tooth tried to please the audience by sticking to what would be served in a traditional tasting menu, and got spanked. Brian engineered a slew of appetizers on a shoestring budget to please party guests, and got spanked. At this point, I'm more than behind Hung for playing to his strengths.

Dale would like to make an onion and goat cheese tart, but the resort kitchen doesn't have cream cheese, which is an essential ingredient. He decides to give it a try, anyway. He, like Hung, will be preparing "seared elx loin", according to the titles. Just when I think the title department couldn't get worse, they sink to this. Soon, the menus will read "Dt9dnfdkgfjdkf&&dihfef 874kfjkst04g93 with sdk@@fus93r and cheese". Casey is making mushroom-crusted loin of "elx", a smoked tomato butter, some whipped and caramelized cauliflower, and poached pear. Ptom drops by to Ptimewaste, and the chefs pretend they're glad to see him. His tour through the kitchen is the usual mix of condescending looks and pointless questions. The only things of value that we learn are that Dale has gotten the best feedback over the season for his sauces, so he's spending as much time as possible on that, and that Casey won't be using any of the extra ingredients she's entitled to, because she brought those specifically for the actual finale. On his way out, Ptom tells the chefs that there will only be one contestant eliminated tonight, instead of the expected two. The chefs react with a mixture of relief and disappointment. There's less chance of being cut tonight, but more competition for the people that make it through.

Cooking montage. Dale suspects that his tart isn't going to turn out quite right, so he begins formulating a Plan B, which involves cooking potatoes and cauliflower in milk. Time begins to wind down. Hung finishes ahead of schedule again, but is a bit worried. He knows he didn't give this challenge his all, and frets that his apathy will shine through to the judges. Casey notes that Hung is done early again, and that Brian is still frantically working. Brian interviews that he wanted to do his mashed potatoes at the last minute, so that they would stay hot for transport. I gear up to whine about unrealistic expectations of Hung again, but he does the work for me. "This is a competition. If he was really in the shit -- I would help him in a real restaurant. I'm a team player. Here, you play for yourself." Exactly. Thank you. Brian finishes to applause at the almost literal last second.

Commercials. Queer Eye For the Straight Guy is ending soon. Huh, I thought it ended, like, two years ago.

The chefs are driven to the ranch. Dale points out that this challenge has the most pressure so far. Which is true, but which is also true every week. The chefs have an hour to get everything ready for service. Brian has brought along his cowboy hat. The contestants each get their own horse stall as a prep area, and their names have been spelled out on the front of the stalls in honest-to-goodness rope script. Hahaha! That is so smurfy! Casey looks forward to the challenge. Hung says that all four of them are good chefs, so he just hopes he does better. Wow, that's high praise coming from him. Not everything is sunny. Dale tastes his onion and goat cheese tart, and finds it nasty. He decides not to serve it, and tries to figure out what to do with his cauliflower and potatoes. Brian thinks his meat could have stood to braise longer, but is pleased with the way everything turned out. Dale incorporates cherries and pecans into his cauliflower/potato mixture.

Cowfolk and judges begin approaching the service area. Some guy spins a lasso around. People toss horseshoes. I'm surprised the producers didn't make them break into a number from Oklahoma! Padma tells the chefs they're looking forward to a great meal, then gleefully clangs a triangle to summon everyone to dinner. Friendly people approach and politely compliment the food. Casey presents her food to Ptom, and while I like meat on the rare side, her elk looks almost raw in the middle. Half of her cauliflower is prepared in olive oil. I'm not the hugest fan of cauliflower, but I'll have to try that some time. Two cowboys enjoy it. Eric points out how rare the meat is. Gail approaches Dale. The title department has finally figured out the intricacies of spelling a three-letter word correctly, as Dale presents his ELK loin, which is served in a huckleberry and blackberry sauce, and which has his cauliflower/potato concoction on the side. It looks really good. Dale is confident that his sauce will be well-received. Gail and Padma dig into it, and Gail mentions that Dale's food sure has a lot of different components (1).

Eric approaches Hung's table. Hung genuflects. I was going to say that Hung's meat looks as rare as Casey's, but I was mistaken. The darkness I saw wasn't raw meat, but the red wine/chocolate sauce that Hung has topped it with. Eric notes how tender the meat is, and also that Hung has made his own lemon confit to incorporate. He also approves of Hung's use of shiitake mushrooms. Hung interviews that no matter how great everything is, the judges are always going to find fault with something. Two cowfolk tell Padma that they enjoy it. Brian sells his food like a huckster, which has worked well for him before. His showmanship cracks Casey up. Padma comes to get his food, and the editors pull that trick where they dissolve from one explanation to the next to make it seem like Brian talks for an hour. His plate is very busy. Brian interviews that he did well in the challenge, and is looking forward to cooking what he wants in the final. The cowfolk love it, but Gail gripes that it took him forever to describe his meal, because there's so much going on with it (2). The meal concludes, and the cowfolk ride off into the sunset, because I'm sure none of them own cars. The chefs fret over their chances of being eliminated.

Commercials. After a doctor's makeover, she is "defining fashion" for her hospital. Well, good. I personally don't care how medically qualified my physician is. She'd just better be able to work a miniskirt.

Judges' Table. The colors are thankfully more muted than in the past couple of panels. The judges agree that everything was good, but they have to start nitpicking, so they can make an elimination. In the back, Brian and Dale agree that both of their plates were a "carnival" of ingredients (3). Casey doesn't understand how or why they incorporate so much, saying that it's not her style of cooking. Eric's favorite dish of the evening was Dale's. Gail was astounded by how many ingredients he used (4). Ptom thinks Hung's food had "seasonal disorder". It gets depressed in the winter? No, he thinks the elk was garnished with summery ingredients, but that the potatoes were more suited for autumn. As in challenges past, his food is considered technically proficient, but almost too controlled. Padma loved Brian's elk, but Eric's portion was dry. Ptom points out that Brian had a ton of ingredients on the plate (5). Casey's meat was too rare, and her cauliflower wasn't popular, either. Eric did love her tomato sauce.

The chefs are summoned to the table. Odd Asian music. Gong. Padma tells them that overall, everything was excellent, but someone still has to go home. Dale explains that his game meals have always been well-received, and that he's proud of what he did tonight. He also details his issues with the goat cheese tart, and what he did to fix the situation. He's complimented on the sauce. Eric asks why he used so many components (6). Dale says that there was definitely a lot going on, but that it was a "controlled chaos". Casey describes her dish. Ptom tells her about his problems with putting chunks of cauliflower into a nice, smooth puree, and also points out how rare her meat was. She is also complimented on her sauce. Hung is asked how he felt about the challenge in general, and also how he got a feel for the people he was cooking for. How intuitive of the judges to work out that Hung didn't enjoy the challenge's parameters! That's not contrived at all! Hung admits to cooking for the judges first and the clientele second. The judges don't really respond to that, but Ptom tells him that although he's the most technically proficient chef, they don't really see a personality in his food. Hung promises to prove himself in the finals. Brian is asked what he didn't include on his plate (7). Brian laughs that off, but is clearly unamused. He says that what he did worked out "impressively nice", but agrees with the judges that a jazzy presentation is part of how he operates. Eric asks why there was a choice of cheeses, when it's really Brian's role to select an appropriate cheese for the diner. Brian doesn't have a good response to that.

Padma asks each of the chefs to outline the reasons they should make it to the finals. Dale details the harsh year leading up to the competition, and talks about how he's been "reborn" and how "he's a chef again". This is the sort of story that reality show producers eat with a spoon, so that was well-played on his part. I mean, I'm sure he was being genuine, but he really painted it in a clever way. Casey says that she's a hard worker, and that she never stops studying to make herself a better chef. Hung takes what I think is the wrong tack on his part, and talks about how he cooks with love and soul, thanks to his immigrant upbringing. He's aiming to be as heartwarming as Dale, but being warm and cuddly is not his forte, and both the judges and the audience know it. Brian says that he cooks for the multitudes, but that he hasn't had the opportunity to cook his way for the judges. He believes everyone would love to see what would result when he gets to be creative. Padma thanks the chefs, and dismisses them.

Deliberations. Gail thinks Dale's was the strongest, as do Ptom and Eric. Padma says that... Sing it if you know it, there was too much on the plate (8). I really wish they'd explain this. Nothing is ever said about Dale's flavors competing with each other, or being overwhelming, or anything. Nope, they just assume that something must be wrong with a dish if it's got a lot of ingredients incorporated. This is the one thing that bugged me in an otherwise excellent episode. Eight mentions of "too much", and no reason ever given of why that's a detriment. Hung's dish was precise, but didn't showcase the elk. Brian's should have been stronger than it was, and not choosing a cheese himself was a cop-out. Ptom disliked Casey's cauliflower, and the meat was way too rare, but her sauce was delightful. The chefs drown their anxiety in wine. The judges ponder.

Commercials. I'm surprised they even gave this new show a title other than Filler While You Wait For Project Runway.

Elimination. Well, first there must be a winner. Ptom says that all four of them have produced great dishes over the course of the season. Eric gets to announce the winner of this particular challenge, and it's Dale. Dale is pleased with his "first win". Well, it's his first if you don't count getting to skip an Elimination Challenge to play footsie with the guest judge. He's thrilled to get a win when it most counted, as this naturally means he will be cooking in the finals. He also gets to go do a culinary demonstration with Eric at an event in the Cayman Islands. Sweeeeeeet. Dale says that it is the biggest honor of his life. Ptom compliments Casey's flavors, Hung's skills, and Brian's spirit, but it's still time for one of them to go. Brian, please pack your knives and go. Casey and Hung almost pass out.

Brian goes to shake the judges' hands as he interviews how far he's come. He tells the other chefs not to worry about him, and gives them all hugs. He's enjoyed the experience and made some excellent friends. He tells the other chefs that there's no reason to shed tears for him. Dale interviews that seeing him go is really tough. Brian is happy with how he's performed, and is proud of the fact that he didn't play it safe, saying that if making risky dishes is what sent him home, then he's riding home on a "magical carpet". Heh. Our Ozzian final four has come to an end. Hung's got brains, Casey's got heart, Dale's got a homey soul, and Brian had the courage. That courage cost him the competition, but I have no doubt he'll do well for himself. Who of the illustrious final three will take home the ruby slippers? Someone deserving! Yay!

Overall Grade: A