For Those About to Walk, We Salute You

America's Next Top Model - Season 10, Episode 8

Previously on America's Next Top Model: The girls went to see. Whitney got hosed by people who aren't anxious to see a girl with an actual ass get modeling work, but I'm sure that nothing like that will happen tonight! Lauren's walk continued to suck. Claire's early promise flamed out, sending her home to a baby who will no doubt be thrilled to have an actual breast to latch onto. Seven girls remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

For those about to be confused by an episode title that makes no sense, we agree with you. The girls are all shocked that Claire got eliminated, but must sense that they just managed to lose some major competition. Everyone's really got their eyes on the prize, now. The girls also know that we're about to the point that they'll be sent abroad, so Fatima suddenly remembers that whoops...she doesn't have a passport or visa. She freaks out, because if she can't go abroad, she may be eliminated by default. No wonder she's surprised. It's not like the girls are sent abroad every single season. Oh, wait. They are.

Paulina drops by to give the girls some advice on conducting an interview, from both sides of the mic. As with all interview segments, it's really boring. Whitney decides to make some latkes, and Lauren joins her. As Lauren slices an onion, she clips the end of her fingernail off, probably taking some skin with it. Ouch! She's hurried off to the hospital, and in a strange confluence of events, Fatima is sympathetic, while Whitney's like "learn to cut an onion, freak".

Later, the girls are invited to a party thrown by 7-Up, complete with fake paparazzi outside who pretend that people are starving for pictures of reality show wannabes and the Jays. An equally contrived interviewer asks the girls a couple of questions. Dominique flubs the name of the designer who provided the dress, while Stacy-Ann and Whitney are taken to task for appearing phony. Stacy-Ann, I'll buy. But Whitney was perfectly natural and at ease. Lauren works her thumb bandage, but the interviewer tells her to watch her "potty mouth". You know what I hate more than inappropriate cursing? Adults who use the word "potty" in a sentence that's not "We're going to try and start potty training our son this weekend." Just so you know how much of a set-up this challenge is, Marble-mouthed Anya wins. The interview challenge. No, really. Once again, she's photographed naked. Someone sure wants to see as much Anya tit as possible. At least she gets some corporate kickback this time, scoring a $10,000 check.

Fatima tells us about her lack of a passport about a kajillion times, and the producers set up an interview for her to get a new one. The girls are told to pack their bags, and they all squeal with excitement, assuming that this is the call to go abroad. But they're foiled by a photo shoot at the airport, where they're all styled in very Cate Archer-esque travel outfits. It's pretty. Fatima has to leave to go to her appointment, and misses the shoot entirely. Once the girls are dismissed, they find themselves faced with the judging panel right there at the airport. Fatima makes it back in time for this (convenient!), and she's told they'll just have to judge her entire body of work. Anya continues to be oddly drooled-over, while Whitney continues to be oddly criticized for seeming fake. The bottom two shake out to be Fatima and Stacy-Ann, and though Fatima is roundly chastised for not thinking of her missing passport before now, she's got more bitch potential than Stacy-Ann, so she's safe. Stacy-Ann is barely out of frame before the other girls have forgotten her, thrilled over the news that now, it's time to go abroad. It's off to Rome!

Next week on America's Next Top Model: Rome. Dominique struggles with phonetic Italian. Shocking.

Overall Grade: B