Sunday, November 26, 2006

Lookin' Like a Blue-Haired Lady on a Sunday Drive

The Amazing Race - Season 10, Episode 10

Previously on The Amazing Race: Five teams left Madagascar for Helsinki, Finland. RoKi narrowly missed a train, which has not stopped haunting them since. They joined the Underdogs in running around madly, while James and Tyler were first to the clue that gave them the bad news that this is one of those boring double-legs. Five teams still remain. Someone had better be eliminated next.

Opening credits. Aw, poor Erwin has noticeably more trouble lifting the weight than Godwin. This is why it's helpful for siblings to cultivate separate interests.

Helsinki, Finland. We revisit a bit of the previous leg as James finishes his rappel. He and Tyler are not pleased that they have to keep on racing. The clue is another actual clue. Yay! It tells them to fly to the capital city of the country where the Chernobyl nuclear disaster occurred. Phil lets us in on the fact that this means that the teams need to head for Kiev, in the Ukraine. Once teams get there, the next clue will be in a marked car in the airport parking lot. James and Tyler kid about getting a third eye from hanging out in a nuclear zone. Hey, that can only help your depth perception. The remaining teams still have to do the rappel. KanDustin is already at the top of the tower, and there are two other rappel lines which are first come, first served. Kandice makes her way down. She stumbles, and falls sideways onto her ass on the building. She does not scream or cry or freak out or whine or yell at Dustin or curse the heavens, but keeps on going. This is why, despite KanDustin's unfortunate tendency to be a bit...tin-eared and smug, I'm totally rooting for them to win this race. James and Tyler head for the airport.

The Underdogs and RoKi stream into the tower and get their rappel clue. Kandice finishes, and Dustin gets started, despite being terrified. The lagging teams have somehow interpreted "go to the top of the tower" to mean "run out into the stadium". Lyn and Karlyn abandon the others and go look elsewhere, so they're the first to find the elevator. Dustin makes progress. RoKi and Erwin/Godwin find the elevator, but it's so small that there's only room for one team in there. RoKi gets to it first. Dustin finishes the rappel, and they get their clue. They seem perfectly cheerful and content to keep on racing. They discuss Chernobyl, and one of them says that she knows it's where the atomic bomb went off. This gets a Gong Noise of Idiocy. I mean, yeah, that's not what happened at all, but it's not that far off, especially when she's in hysterical race mode. Dustin interviews that they have a love/hate thing going with James and Tyler, but can't afford to just hang out with them; they need to concentrate on getting ahead.

Karlyn starts the rappel. Kimberly starts as Karlyn is about halfway down. Assume that everyone is scared to death during this task. Erwin and Godwin can't even get started yet. Karlyn finishes. Godwin implores Erwin to go first. Kimberly makes progress as Rob yells unhelpful encouragement down. Well, maybe it's helpful to her, but someone yelling at me (even encouragingly) while I'm trying to carefully do something I'm really scared of would drive me bonkers. Lyn frets about getting started. Erwin makes a couple of false starts, but has trouble forcing himself off the edge. The lead teams make it to the airport. Erwin finally gets going, but Lyn hasn't worked up the courage yet. Erwin's feet come off the wall, his body spins around, and his helmet crashes into the wall. He actually slides down a few feet like this, his helmet making a horrible scraping noise. Yikes. Kimberly makes it down. Erwin makes it down. Lyn finally gets started. Rob gets started. He's the only one who doesn't appear a bit fazed by the rappel. Lyn makes it down, so she and Karlyn get their clue. Lyn mentions Erwin and Godwin, but Karlyn's not worried about them, and they take off. Underdogs' Law. Karlyn says that they'll share information, but not stand around waiting for each other. Rob finishes just as Godwin gets started. RoKi gets the clue and bolts, hoping that all the teams will be tied at the airport. Rob is pretty convinced Chernobyl happened in Russia, which was my initial reaction, too. But the USSR has been very busy falling apart since Chernobyl. Nothing against Rob jumping to that conclusion, of course, but it would still be pretty funny to see RoKi wind up in Moscow. Godwin freaks a bit as he nears the ground, but he eventually makes it. His voice shakes as he reads the clue, and also tells us that teams are getting $65 for the leg. They realize Lyn and Karlyn have left them, and head for the airport.

Tyler and James wander the airport, looking for an open counter. They find a travel agency, and tell the agent they need to fly to Chernobyl, which would be like telling a travel agent that you need to fly to Big Ben. The agent's like "Huh?", but soon realizes what Tyler and James want, telling them they need to go to Kiev. There are no more flights today (it's almost 9:30 PM during this scene), but she can get them on the first available flight in the morning at 8:25. Tyler and James are mad that their lead is evaporating. KanDustin arrives, and gets the same information, also learning that the flight connects through Vienna. Both teams book tickets. Tyler/James and KanDustin have lately been thrown together a lot, and have formed a sort of pseudo-alliance, so to save time, the four of them together will be called the Prom Court. Lyn and Karlyn have stopped for directions, so RoKi is next to the airport. The agencies are closing, but they beg the same agent that helped James and Tyler to help them. They work out that they're going to Kiev, but the 8:25 flight is sold out, so they need tickets on a 9:25 AM flight connecting through Warsaw. You'd think if the agent would hang around and look up flight info for RoKi, she'd just go ahead and also book tickets for them, but no. She tells them to come back at 6:00 AM. The Underdogs catch up and get the same news.

Morning. RoKi and the Underdogs (which would be a pretty good name for a band) get their tickets, which will put them into Kiev at 1:35 PM. RoKi meets up with James and Tyler and finds out that the two flights are scheduled to get into Kiev at the exact same time. KanDustin and the Chos (nah, not as good of a band name) discover the same thing. KanDustin mentions that flights can get delayed. The Prom Court boards their plane to Vienna, and an hour later, the rest of the teams take off for Warsaw. And lo and behold, their flight from Warsaw to Kiev is delayed by a half hour. Ouch.

Kiev, Ukraine. The flight from Vienna lands on time. KanDustin heads for a marked car that reminds Dustin of her first car. Tyler and James wonder where the other teams are. They rip the clue, which tells them to drive to the Oster Tank School, giving a specific address. Except that the address is in the Cyrillic alphabet. Sweet! My two semesters of Russian will be so helpful in this episode, except not at all. The Prom Court goes to get their clue translated. KanDustin hires a taxi driver to lead them to the tank school. Tyler and James ask if they can follow, saying they'll split the cab fare with KanDustin. Sounds fair to everyone involved, and they're off. Tyler and James hope for a first place finish, while KanDustin is busy singing the Ukrainian Bell Carol in their car. The second flight lands. RoKi makes it out of the airport first, and also hires a cab to lead them to the tank school. The Underdogs see them leave as they emerge, but Erwin gets directions from a nearby cop, figuring that they can navigate their own way there. They agree to let Lyn and Karlyn follow them. In the least surprising development ever, the Underdogs are soon lost. They pull over to try and find someone to lead them to the tank school, which they should have done to begin with. Karlyn is angry, of course. Lady, either find your own way there or accept the consequences of following someone who may not know where they're going. Erwin and Godwin can't find anyone to help. Lyn and Karlyn sit in their cab carping about how frustrating the situation is. Note that they're not getting out to assist or ask anyone themselves, because that would involve doing their own work. Can't have that!

Commercials. Have an electronic pen do all your math homework for you. That'll totally help you pass the test when forced to use, you know, your brain.

Having wasted a bunch of time, the Underdogs finally find a cab driver to lead them to the tank school. The Prom Court reaches the school, and rips the clue. Roadblock! "Who's ready to take command?" Phil explains that in this Roadblock, the chosen team member must drive a Soviet tank through a 1.2 mile obstacle course used in simulated battle. Oof, I'd be terrible at this. Dustin and James take it on. They hop into the tiny little driver's seat, and get instructions on how to drive. Meanwhile, Rob loses control of his car for about one and a half seconds. Kimberly tells him he'll get the hang of it. He begins to get spazzy. She calms him down. That was the entire scene. Dustin and James get started, and have tons of fun tearing up the road in their tanks. Simulated bullets and explosions are going off all around them. James gets stuck on a hill, and Dustin passes him, actually cutting him off (although probably by accident -- it's not like tanks are the most maneuverable vehicles out there). RoKi bickers some more. James can't control the brake on his tank, and he crashes into Dustin. She doesn't even notice. Heh. There's a small dip into a mud puddle, and she takes it slowly. James plows right in, with the result that the muddy water flies up and soaks him. Dustin finishes first, and isn't even dirty. Hehehe. The Prom Court rips the clue at the same time. It tells them to drive back to Kiev, and find a specific apartment in a specific apartment building.

On their way out, they pass RoKi, and Tyler and James point the way to go. KanDustin wonders why they'd bother doing that. Kimberly's glad that they're caught up to the lead teams. I wouldn't really call being a full task behind "caught up", but whatever makes her happy, I guess. Tyler and James gloat over the Underdogs being behind, Tyler saying that Erwin and Godwin, who are supposedly so smart, haven't made it out, and that "book smarts doesn't get you where you think it will" in this race. That gloat would have been more powerful if the subject and verb agreed, but maybe he's just trying to prove his point. The Underdogs are stopping for more directions. I thought they had a cab to lead them? Karlyn says that the Chos tend to be indecisive, stopping every five minutes to make sure they're going the right way. Now, as I've said before, Lyn and Karlyn don't really get to make another team do all the work, then complain about the quality of the help. That said, being in their position, of following someone who can't just GO ALREADY, would drive me batshit, too.

RoKi gets the Roadblock clue. Kimberly takes it, and Rob asks the taxi driver to hang out for a little while. Rob wishes he could take the Roadblock, but says they have to be smart about how to divide up the tasks. Plus, driving a tank could help Kimberly work out some aggression. Wise move. Lyn and Karlyn spot marked arrows, so they lead Erwin and Godwin towards the tank school. Rob pines for the fun that Kimberly must be having. He interviews (during which she's sitting beside him) that she's become a superhuman creature from outer space, which makes her crack up. Aw, I like when they get along. She finishes bone dry, without a speck of dirt on her. RoKi runs back to the car, and arranges to follow the taxi driver back to Kiev. The Underdogs reach the cluebox. Lyn and Godwin take the Roadblock. They get started. The Prom Court finds someone willing to lead them to the apartment building. Godwin gets soaked. Lyn becomes stymied. Godwin finishes first, and they stay to wait for Lyn and Karlyn. Duuuuuuumb. Erwin tells the camera that maybe by sticking together, they'll get to the route marker more quickly. Yeah, because sticking together helped so much on the way here! Lyn finishes. Karlyn wonders why the Chos waited, saying she wouldn't expect them to. In the car, Karlyn asks why Lyn didn't get wet, and Lyn responds that she was scooted up really far, giving us the titular quote.

The Prom Court's guide goes through a light that turns red. KanDustin runs the light, hoping to leave James and Tyler behind. No such luck, as James and Tyler run the light right along with them. RoKi's car begins to smoke. Uh, oh. What is it with them and cars? They pull over and Rob and the cab driver take a look at the smoking engine. Not a good sign. The Underdogs begin to catch up. Rob sings a chorus of Poor Us, We're Out of It, which he pretty much does every single week now. Shut up, Rob.

Commercials. Can ghosts really get the flu?

The Underdogs drive. Lyn and Karlyn carp about Godwin driving slowly, and again, do your own work, and again, I sort of feel them on it. They pull over to get directions. Lyn and Karlyn fume some more. This will occur about sixty kabillion times. RoKi gets a replacement car, and we hear about the no-time-credit rule again. They get going. They're lucky the cab driver stuck with them through all of that. The Underdogs get going again. Rob immediately has trouble with his clutch, so maybe it's not that cars have it in for RoKi; he just sucks at stick shift. The Prom Court arrives at the apartment building. They thank the guide and run in. Both teams get the clue at about the same time. Detour! Make the Music or Find the Music. In Make the Music, teams have to travel three miles to a hip hop club. Once there, they have to write a rap song that incorporates the names of all of the countries they've visited. After performing it for a crowd, the top rap artist of Kiev (hehe) will give them their next clue. In Find the Music, teams go 2.5 miles to the National Music Academy. Once there, they have to search through several stacks of sheet music to find the piano part to Tchaikovsky's Concert Fantasy. Then they must search the conservatory for one of the pianists awaiting music. Once the musician plays the music, they'll hand over the next clue.

Good Detour! The Prom Court finally splits apart, as KanDustin heads for Make the Music, and Tyler and James head for Find the Music. Underdogs. Stop. Directions. Fuming. KanDustin looks for someone young and hip to ask for directions to the hip hop club. The lady they approach knows exactly where it is. The Prom Court arrives at their Detour destinations at about the same time. KanDustin is pointed towards a pile of clothing, and there's an honest-to-God dollar sign bling necklace on the pile. Hehehe. Tyler and James have costumes of their own, as they are told to get dressed in tuxedos. KanDustin settles down with their Fresh Prince of Bel Air clothing and begins to write their rap. Tyler and James begin to look through the sheet music (after telling each other how sexy they look, of course). RoKi finds the apartment. I guess their car breakdown didn't take too long. They head for Make the Music. What's funny is that as they leave, Kimberly says, with dead seriousness, "Babe, I wanna go ask these people, cause they look hip." Hah! Indeed, it is a very happening couple. Underdogs. Stop. Directions. Fuming. Lyn and Karlyn have had enough. They break off, and head out on their own. And with that, the Underdog Alliance is officially dead.

Commercials. People go online to find videos that they're interested in. But they don't show anyone looking for the videos they really want to see. You know the ones I mean.

Erwin and Godwin decide to follow Lyn and Karlyn. I really have no idea why, because it's not like they have any different directions. James finds the sheet music, and they begin searching practice rooms. KanDustin finishes writing their rap. James and Tyler find one of the waiting pianists. KanDustin begins performing their rap, and this is funniest task I've ever seen on this show. The pianist plays. KanDustin raps. A sample lyric: "Kuwait. Heat. And we carried some bags. By the time it was over, we looked like hags." Hahahaha! More intercuts between them cutting loose at the club, and James and Tyler rocking out with their pianist. It appears that the Prom Court gets their clues at the same time. It directs them to the pitstop, the Great Patriotic War Museum, only a couple of miles away. It's a very cool-looking park, with several impressive statues celebrating victory in World War II. Both teams have to get changed before leaving, and we end the scene on a hilarious shot of a bouncer, apparently keeping the troublemakers out of a club preset with people in the middle of the day.

In the car on the way to the club, Kimberly works on the rap. She doesn't much care what it says as long as it rhymes. Erwin and Godwin stick behind Lyn and Karlyn, and Karlyn says something about how the Chos need to learn how to run their own race. That would be jaw-droppingly asinine if I thought she really said that here. But it sounded like that quote was imported from another interview, so I'm inclined to let it go. The Prom Court heads for the pitstop. The hip-happenin' couple leads RoKi to the club. Thanks, cute couple! The Underdogs pull up to the apartment building, and get the clue at the same time. They both want to do Make the Music. Speaking of which, RoKi is dressed up in their tragic hip hop clothing, busting their rap out. It's actually not bad. Lyn arranges to follow someone to the club. Erwin and Godwin, who have been standing around this whole time, refuse to follow them, saying they have "too much pride" to stoop to such a tactic. RoKi finishes, gets their clue, changes, and runs back out, where the cute couple is patiently waiting. They agree to ride with RoKi and show them the way.

The Prom Court approaches the pitstop. And coming into the mat first is... James and Tyler. Welcome, you are team number one. The greeter is awesome, by the way. They celebrate, and win a trip to Mexico. Karlyn finishes her rap in the car. She's quite pleased with it, only hoping that they don't come off looking like complete idiots. You'll never guess where Erwin and Godwin are. They're lost. Yep, I'm shocked too. KanDustin checks in as team number two. Phil reminds them that an all-female team has never won the race. Dustin says that nothing will stop them. Here's hoping. Erwin and Godwin give up on finding the club, and ask where the conservatory is. Lyn and Karlyn arrive at the club. RoKi checks in as team number three. They're relieved. Erwin and Godwin get dressed in their tuxedos. Lyn and Karlyn emerge in their hilarious rap clothes. Lyn even does the Too Cool For School head bobble. Awesome. They have a ball with their rap, and they're fun to watch when they're actually enjoying the race, rather than pissing and moaning about everything. Erwin and Godwin find sheet music. Lyn and Karlyn rap. Erwin and Godwin look for a pianist. Lyn and Karlyn rap. The crowd is eating it up. Erwin and Godwin find someone to play the piece. Lyn and Karlyn finish up and get their clue. It appears that the Underdogs get their clue at about the same time, but I think that's an editing trick.

Lyn and Karlyn find someone to lead them to the pitstop. Erwin and Godwin just take off driving, because that works so well for them. Karlyn says that she hates to say it, but hopes that Erwin and Godwin are lost. Well, they're worse than lost. They have driven onto a street that's closed off to traffic for pedestrians. That's not something any local law enforcement is going to take lightly, and the Kiev police are no exception. They get pulled over, and are asked to get out of the car. Lyn and Karlyn drive. Erwin and Godwin are asked to show their documents. Well, that's that, unless Lyn and Karlyn are hit by a meteor. They're not, and they check in as team number four. Erwin and Godwin are free to go. The sun sets. They arrive at the pitstop, step onto the mat, and are eliminated. In their final interview, they say they have no regrets with the way they ran the race. They know they probably made a lot of mistakes, but wanted to play in such a way that they could wake up the next morning and still feel good about themselves. That's very sweet. And I feel that they've accomplished that. I happen to think that they could have played a lot better, and still not have compromised their integrity, but they seem like good eggs.

Next week on The Amazing Race: James freaks out during a chaotic chariot ride. The hated Yield makes an appearance, and if Lyn and Karlyn are able to Yield KanDustin right out of the competition, I will be apoplectic.

Overall Grade: B+

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