Thanksgiving

Top Chef - Season 2, Episode 6

Previously on Top Chef: Marcel was an ass to Betty. Gee, that's not from last week. I wonder if Marcel grating on the other chefs' nerves could possibly be a theme tonight. Nah, probably just my imagination. Back up to speed, the chefs paired off to prepare lunch for Jennifer Coolidge and company. Marcel wasn't wild about working with Frank. Nope, Marcel's personality definitely won't come into play tonight. Marisa and Josie cooked together, defended their poor course together, and got eliminated together. Ten turkey-stuffers remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Cellblock. Betty notes how quiet the room is without Josie and Marisa. "Especially Josie," Elia says. Hahahaha! Mia was shocked to see someone with Josie's talent sent home. Please, I had plenty of the "Josie's talent" lecture last week. Meanwhile, in the men's room, Ilan is showing Michael a business card of Marcel's that he has come upon. On the back is written "Marcel Vigneron -- The Next Top Chef". Hehe. They both cackle over it, along with a nearby Cliff. Elia interviews that people may not like Marcel, but she doesn't have a problem with him (remember that they used to work together). Marcel interviews that it seems like the other chefs gathered around a dartboard and hit upon him as the random person that they'd hate. Marcel, come on. I'll agree that the chefs seem awfully quick to jump down his throat. But nobody who insufferably introduces themselves with their link to "avant-garde molecular gastronomy", then goes on to gloat over someone's griddle problems and smarmily rejoice when his sauce is chosen as superior gets to act like a wounded puppy when nobody wants to invite him to their birthday party. He says he doesn't really care if the other chefs like him.

Quickfire Challenge. The chefs are met in the Kitchen by Ptom and Padma. Mia notes the stack of canned goods on a nearby counter. Carlos is surprised to see Ptom judge a Quickfire, saying that he's been having a better track record with guest judges than with Ptom. That's probably because guests judges actually judge on the food, whereas Ptom likes to judge on passion and credentials. Carlos is self-taught, so Ptom has already decided him unworthy. Just my extremely biased guess. Ptom talks about his part in distributing canned goods to the needy, and tells the chefs that the Quickfire this week will be to make a dish incorporating at least three canned goods. The time limit is only fifteen minutes this time around. Sounds tough. Marcel agrees with me, while Mia says that she's not afraid, because she used to be homeless. Wuzzuh? That came out of nowhere, and was immediately dropped. Odd. Naturally, the winner of the Quickfire will have immunity. Ready? Go!

Everyone attacks the cans. Poor, tiny Betty gets there last and has to poke herself through the wall of humanity to get ingredients. Heh. Michael interviews that there's almost no time to decide what to make. Mad scrambling and can opening is all over the place. Eek, be careful. I'm thinking back to the times I've sliced my hand open on can lids, and they weren't fun. Mia interviews that she was surprised to see people attempting to cook hot food with such a strict limit. Mia herself has gone a safer route by preparing salad. Hysterical chopping. Betty is spazzing all over the place. Mia seems happier and more into this challenge than any before. She bounces up and down excitedly. People add their final garnishes. Time runs out. People put their hands in the air, and Mia jumps up and down. Man, she's in a good mood. It's infectious.

Ptom goes down the line. Cliff has made a tiny little potato salad out of new potatoes, and topped it with grilled anchovies and mandarin oranges. Meh. Betty has made lemon hummus with beets, artichokes, green apples, and topped it with a sage vinaigrette. Sounds pretty good. Ptom raises his eyebrows as he chews, but I can't tell if that's a "Wow, that's good" face or a "Wow, that sucks" face. Sam has also cooked up some anchovies, and made a chickpea/beet salad with a lemon Dijon vinaigrette. Marcel has gone the minimalist route by stuffing some hearts of palm with clams, putting them on a puddle of coconut milk, and setting a few mandarin oranges off to the side. Not impressive. Ptom asks him something about his motives for using coconut, but my eye is caught by someone offscreen throwing something to Frank, who's in the background. Marcel says something about the coconut flavor, and Ptom snidely smacks him down. Mia has made a very pretty salad from garbanzo beans, green beans, artichoke hearts, and has topped it with a little mint. Padma and Ptom approve of the mint use, saying it makes it real difference. Ilan has prepared spinach and cannellini bean salad, roasted potatoes, and Vienna sausages. That's quite a lot. Ilan's totally going to be in the finals. Elia explains that she doesn't have Thanksgiving in Mexico, so she did something more traditional to Christmas. She's made a fruit salad that is topped with some sort of cream sauce that makes it look nasty. Also, there's a beef hash with celery, red pepper, and kidney beans. That looks much better. Carlos has made pasta puttanesca with capers, peas, and deviled ham. An interesting combination. Frank is the only one to have made dessert. He's made a fruit and coconut salad and topped it with a blueberry yogurt cream. Michael has made wrapped baby corn in bacon, and used that, some chili, and chives, and topped mashed potatoes with it. Yet another entry completely devoid of imagination, although I will say that mashed potatoes in fifteen minutes is really impressive.

Ptom says that he feels the judges really embraced the challenge, which is nice. Cliff's food was clean and fresh. Sam's fried anchovies were good. Marcel is told that when you use clams with coconut milk, it has to be ice cold, or it won't taste right. Marcel is perturbed. Elia's two dishes were good, but didn't belong together. Ptom asks Ilan to come stand by him. Mia, Sam, and Cliff are also shifted. Padma asks Ptom who he's selected as the winner. He says that it's Sam. Mia is disappointed. But wait! Mia has also won. She jumps up and down again, and whoops it up. Hehe. Cliff has also won! Elia interviews that she was in shock at that one, saying that she tasted Cliff's dish, and had to spit it out. Ilan has also won! Over in the second group, Betty has a look of pure disgust on her face. Frank has also won! So that means half the chefs are immune from elimination this week. Not only that, but they don't even have to participate in the Elimination Challenge. Only Michael, Marcel, Betty, Elia, and Carlos will be cooking, and one of them will be going home. Sucks to be them. Marcel interviews that he's disappointed, especially since his chance of losing has now doubled.

Elimination Challenge. Padma tells them that the challenge will be to create a Thanksgiving dinner, but give it a cutting-edge twist. Carlos astutely interviews that "cutting-edge Thanksgiving dinner" is oxymoronic, because those two things are pretty much diametrically opposed. I agree. This is going to be a tough one. The dinner will be served to the judges and the immune chefs, which Betty's not thrilled with. The chefs can decide what to make and how to present it, and they'll have to work out for themselves who makes what. Padma stresses that they'll be judged on their individual contribution to the meal. They'll be given one hour to start preparing food in the Cellblock kitchens tonight, then four hours tomorrow to finish up. The immune chefs get to take it easy and deliver the rest of the canned goods and some other food to a local shelter. Sam feels bad for the loser chefs. The immune chefs are dismissed.

The remaining five gather to plan the menu. Everyone starts brainstorming. Betty immediately leaps into obnoxious den mother mode. Michael says that he tried to get some ideas in, but was overshadowed by the egos on the team. I have no trouble believing that. He brings up an idea to serve family style, which Marcel disdains as not being cutting-edge in the least. Yeah, I can see where he'd think that, although I'm not sure that the way food is conveyed to the plate and then to the table is really going to make a difference in this particular judging. Michael accepts this, and tries another idea: turducken. Sounds like a good idea to me, except the part where he suggests using it in a lasagna. Betty smacks that idea down, and everyone begins talking at once. Carlos whomps a pepper mill down on the table and suggests making the rule that the one with the mill should be the only one to talk. Don't these people take high school English? Soon Betty will be putting war paint on and bashing Marcel's brain out with a rock.

Speaking of Betty, the pepper mill has scarcely hit the table before she snatches it up. And believe me, "snatch" is the right word. She says they should do a plated soup, plated salad, plated dessert, and the rest family style. Sounds boring. Plus, salad? I realize every family has their own customs, but who needs salad with Thanksgiving, cutting-edge or not? The green beans cover that area. Michael tries to respond to this, and Queen of the Pepper Mill reaches out and covers his mouth with her hand. Never thought I'd see the day when I'd root for Michael to shove his foot up someone's ass, yet here we are. He interviews that she didn't want to hear any criticism or discussion, and that the chefs refuse to give his ideas a chance. And I completely agree with him. Now, Padma specifically said that these people will be judged on their individual contributions. They're not being judged on dinner as a whole. They're not being judged on their teamwork. At this point, if I'm Michael, I'd abandon ship and tell the others that they're welcome to make whatever they like, but here's what I'm doing. Feel free to work around it or not.

Marcel gets the pepper mill and talks about various types of soups with custard at the bottom. Ew. Betty tries to interrupt, and Marcel takes great pleasure in displaying the mill to shut her up. Ha! Man, these people are obnoxious. Elia volunteers to make soup. She interviews that she was completely demotivated after the Quickfire, and can't bring herself to care about the Elimination Challenge. She kids-but-not-really that she's just going to serve a shot of vinegar as the soup. Marcel is concerned that she's going to go kamikaze, and intentionally take herself out of the competition. Can't have that happen to the one person who doesn't see him as a giant douchebag. Betty says she'll handle salad and dessert. Elia thinks she won't be able to handle both, so Betty asks Carlos if he wants to do the salad. His revolted, crinkled face is answer enough, but he agrees. He interviews that keeping his head down in the pack is his strategy for now. Two massive mistakes on Carlos' part. He already knows that Ptom is hunting down those who aren't actively trying to win. Ptom said as much at last week's Judges' Table. And I must again point out that Carlos isn't going to sail by on being Betty's little helper in this challenge, because everyone's being judged individually. All he's going to do is a salad he didn't want to make to begin with? That's just looking for trouble. The chefs start pulling food and dishes to take back to the Cellblock. Elia tells Betty that she can do a mushroom soup, but truly doesn't care about the challenge at this point. Betty doesn't care about Elia's not caring.

Commercials. Any woman who refers to herself in the third person as "Mommy" when her kids aren't around needs to be smacked in the face.

Betty, Carlos, Michael, and Marcel are off to Wild Oats to do some additional food shopping. They have one hour and $400. Elia goes to a fixture shop to buy things like gravy boats. Marcel interviews about the difficulty of putting a cutting-edge twist on the most traditional American holiday. Carlos wanders around for his ingredients. He wants harvest sorts of food like pumpkin seeds and butternut squash. His salad will be the first course. Michael is just throwing a glut of dishes at dinner and hoping something sticks. He'll be preparing turkey and egg canapes, twice-baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, corn with Parmesan cheese, and a cheese platter. I can't see a single cutting-edge thing about any of those dishes. Betty gently bickers with Carlos and Marcel over putting a pumpkin on the table as a centerpiece. Marcel is the only person to truly embrace the challenge so far. He'll be making cranberry gelee with cranberry foam, and a turkey roulade with stuffing. It sounds fairly gross, but at least he's thinking. Betty shops for dessert. She'll be making chai pumpkin creme brulee and chocolate hazelnut creme brulee, which sounds very good, but not very creative. Elia is shopping for plates. She's still stinging over the Quickfire decision, saying that she knows what good and bad food tastes like, so she doesn't even really see the point of cooking for these judges. That sounds snotty, but I get what she's saying. She and the judges have wildly different tastes, so it'll be difficult if not impossible to please them. Filled with obvious ennui, she buys her plates and wanders out.

Meanwhile, the immune chefs are dropping off food at the shelter. Looks like it's not just the canned goods, but some turkeys as well. Good. We hear a little bit more of Mia's story. When she was thirteen, her family had some money problems, and she and her mother wound up homeless for a while. Frank talks about how important it is for the restaurant industry to help the needy, given the opportunity. Especially an opportunity in which the money for the food isn't coming out of your pocket, eh, Frank? I'm kidding, and I don't know what these people do in their spare time as far as giving to charity, but the show is playing them up as magnanimous do-gooders, when they're simply taking food that someone else purchased to a shelter at someone else's direction. They're probably lovely, giving people in their private time, but this was a lazy attempt at making them appear benevolent.

Cellblock. The non-immune chefs bring their supplies in. Betty is glad that the women's kitchen was cleaned recently. She suggests that Marcel and Michael work in the men's kitchen, and they're only too glad to get away from her. The men's room looks like... Well, a men's room. There's dirty clothing lying all over the place. The kitchen is cluttered with people's toiletries. Eeeeew. This doesn't look the least bit sanitary. Marcel interviews that he had to burn through 15 minutes of the prep time (which, if he's not exaggerating, is a sizable chunk) just getting the kitchen useable. He puts the toiletries in the corner, and there's a shot of someone's Dopp kit on the floor with a toothbrush sticking out of it (bristles up). He and Michael finally get to work. In the other kitchen, Betty, Elia, and Carlos are rehashing the Quickfire, saying that they've been in pissy moods since then. Elia, in particular, is still upset. She starts to get slap-happy. She's beating some melted chocolate with a wire whisk, and after saying she's been told never to lick said whisk, does just that with an enormous tongue flourish. Heh. She's not done. She wraps her hair up in a towel and gives herself a chocolate moustache. Carlos and Betty crack up as Elia completely loses it, smearing chocolate all over the front of her chef's coat and on her face. Betty approaches, and gets chocolate smeared all over her face, too. Then they both attack Carlos until he has a chocolate face, too. Hehe. That lightened the mood, not to mention making them look like some awful ripoff of the Supremes. In the men's loft, there's much more serious cooking going on. Marcel works on his cranberry gelee. He pours some liquid into a muffin tin, and is surprised that the full cranberries already in there start to float. A tip for someone who prides himself on "molecular gastronomy". Learn the basic laws of physics. Time runs out.

Communal loft. I guess that's some sort of middle living room/dining room between the kitchen/bedrooms. Man, these apartments are ugly and poorly-planned. God only knows where the bathrooms are. Cliff and Ilan snooze. Mia and Sam talk. Frank interviews that he thinks the non-immune chefs will have some animosity towards the immune ones. Well, I certainly wouldn't want the chefs to be all immature about it. Frank himself would certainly never resort to something that makes him sound like a fifth-grade bully. Marcel comes in and tells the group (Frank, do me a favor and button your shirt) that he moved the toiletries in the men's loft out of the way so he could, you know, COOK. Well, he actually says that he "threw it on the floor", which was unwise. Sam interviews that Marcel is hard to work with and considers himself a cut above everyone else. I'd be inclined to agree, but that really has nothing to do with him moving people's deodorant. Sam gleefully starts shit up by telling Frank that if Marcel threw his things on the floor... He doesn't even finish, but shakes his head ominously. Gee, Sam is really good at engineering trouble, yet acting as if all the petty drama is beneath him. Asshole. Now whipped up in righteous anger, Frank walks down the hall to the men's loft. He interviews that yes, his toothbrush was indeed on the floor. Apparently, they're hoping that the entire viewing audience has been struck blind, because they show a shot of it, and it's not. It's in a bag, head up, which is no more or less sanitary than sitting out on a counter somewhere. Frank comes back to the communal loft, gets up in Marcel's face, and says, verbatim: "If you ever touch anything personal of mine, I will beat you so bad, that your mother will not recognize you. That wasn't cool." Marcel's eyes widen, and he looks over at Michael, like, "Huh? What the fuck?". He says he thought he put Frank's toothbrush in the toiletry bag, which he did.

Gah! Where is this vitriol coming from? OK, I'll grant that Marcel can be a smug, annoying, condescending, pretentious twit. But this attack on him is completely unwarranted. First of all, and I feel silly for having to point this out three times, but since Frank and the Bravo producers seem to have missed it: THE TOOTHBRUSH WAS NOT ON THE FLOOR. Not. On the floor. Here is the floor. Here is the toothbrush. They are not in contact. Maybe someone could argue that this is an edited show, so Marcel may have tossed it on the floor, and it only made it back to the Dopp kit later, but the cameras would have caught that, and the producers would have liked nothing more than to show it. Secondly, "not cool", Frank? Here's what's not cool. Leaving your bathroom shit sitting around in the kitchen. What was Marcel supposed to do? Cook around it? Walk someone else's brush to the bathroom, when even the owner can't be bothered? As I said here (and check out Frank's lame pseudo-apology, in which he refers to himself in the third person as "The Bull" -- snerk), even if Marcel took the toothbrush, threw it down, and did a Mexican hat dance on it, Frank has no right to take the moral high ground here. And finally, even if Marcel is completely in the wrong, and Frank completely in the right about the toothbrush, his empty threats are just pathetic. Pathetic and laughable. "You messed with my toothbrush, so I'm gonna pound you" is something you'd say in junior high. And even then, you'd be a tool for saying so. In summary, shut the fuck up, Frank.

Commercials. Is Kristen Davis just going to play "the normal wife" roles from now on? Because I like her and wish she'd do something more interesting.

Morning. The non-immune chefs have four hours to get the food ready. Betty tells Carlos and Elia that she's trying to put the fact that this is an Elimination Challenge out of her mind. Carlos suggests going around the table and talking about what they're thankful for. Ugh, no thanks, Dad. Elia becomes my hero by just opening her mouth and showing off her partially-chewed food. She reiterates that she's not into this challenge, and yeah. We get it now, producers. She cracks that she's thankful that Ptom is her judge, and rolls her eyes. Awesome. In the men's loft, Marcel and Michael are very focused on their work. Marcel even has a to-do list taped up on the cabinet. In the women's loft, Carlos says he's dedicating his four hours to working on the salad. Is this a special salad in some way? Will it wash my car or balance my checkbook? I just cannot fathom how any salad could possibly take that long. Elia makes her soup. Betty has trouble getting her dessert to have the right consistency.

The immune chefs go out for breakfast and naturally talk about what they think is going on back at the Cellblock. Ilan wonders if they're working as a group, but Mia thinks Marcel separated himself and is just doing what he wants. Ilan thinks that working individually may work to Marcel's advantage, but Mia says that some level of camaraderie is necessary, or the whole meal will be a disaster. Back at the Cellblock, Ptom stops by to check on the chefs. Elia, still fixated on the Quickfire, asks him what he liked about Cliff's dish. He says that he liked it, but Elia and Carlos persist in asking what about it was good. Elia tells him that she didn't understand the decision, and was demotivated by it. Ptom gets a look like "And that's my problem...why?", but says that Cliff had a good flavor and used his ingredients well. Elia interviews that she realizes that Ptom is being straightforward with her, and it's just that she and he have completely different palates. This is what Elia needs to finally get over herself and concentrate on the challenge. Good for her, although it probably would have been more mature to threaten to pound Ptom's face until his mother couldn't recognize him. Fuck honest communication! Empty threats of physical violence is how you get stuff done!

Cooking montage. There's a shot of Carlos at the table, doing absolutely nothing. Marcel interviews that he's the only one who conceptually understood the challenge, and much as I hate a braggart, he's right. Carlos stands around poking food. He's pretty confident, though I can't imagine why. He says that it's not his best effort, but at least was better than Michael's side dishes, which do look a bit sad. Michael interviews that Carlos is setting himself up to go home by just doing a salad. Another shot of Carlos sitting around. Yeah, that salad was probably done three hours and forty minutes ago. Dinner approaches. Betty is wearing a tan hat and a spangly, gold tank top. Oof. Betty, no. Ptom brings in this week's guest judge, Anthony Bourdain, whom I've certainly heard of, but I've never read his stuff. The chefs are awed. Michael likes that Anthony straight-out tells people that their food sucks, only hoping that he himself isn't awarded that dubious honor. They begin to plate up as the judges and immune chefs get seated for dinner. The immune chefs are thrilled to see Anthony, especially since they don't have to cook for him. Heh, no kidding. Anthony says he's looking forward to smashing someone's dreams and ambitions.

Michael serves the amuse-bouche, the turkey and egg toast canapes, which look good. The diners seem to enjoy them. Carlos plates and serves his salad. It's got chipotle peppers, queso fresco, pumpkin seeds, and a butternut squash dressing. Frankly, it doesn't even look as good as the salad Mia whipped up in fifteen minutes. Frank finds the salad bland. Ptom thinks it's unimpressive, and says that the onions in it are burnt. He doesn't understand what went into this at all. Anthony finds it unattractive. Elia nervously gets her soup ready. It's a mushroom creme soup, with two kinds of mushrooms, garnished with walnuts. I don't like mushrooms or walnuts, so I'm probably not the best judge of how good it looks or would taste. Once she's gone, everyone compliments the flavor. Marcel presents his turkey roulade. The outer ring is breast meat, the middle layer is thigh meat, and the center is stuffing. He has also made that cranberry gelee with a cranberry foam on top. Since Marcel made it, you know it could taste like orgasms on toast, and none of the other chefs would admit it. Sam finds it dry. Ilan thinks there's too much cranberry in the gelee. Cliff says it was too hard. Frank yells (yes, yells) that it's a mirror image of everything else Marcel's done in the competition, and that he "can't stand the little punk". Dude, fucking chill out. At least the judges know that there's no way Frank can form a semblance of an objective opinion now. That's helpful. Indeed, the judges say the roulade may be dry, but meets the challenge's parameters of being cutting-edge. Frank looks pissed.

Michael serves his potatoes. There are twice-baked potatoes with shrimp and parsnip mashed potatoes with corn and Parmesan. Yawn. The diners are like "Um. Two potatoes. Great." Anthony is severely unimpressed. Mia says she likes the twice-baked potato better than the dry turkey roulade, because an opportunity to slam Marcel should never pass by. Betty is in the back getting her dessert ready to go. Marcel is done with his work, and asks if he can help her. She has him torch some of the brulee, but the crystallized ginger that Betty's put on top burns very rapidly. Keep in mind that this also happens on the ones that Betty torches herself. They scrape the ginger off. Betty serves dessert, which is her two kinds of creme brulee and a shot of coffee. She leaves. Mia doesn't enjoy it. Ptom says that custard with sugar on top is not creme brulee. Anthony calls the entire meal a "failure of the imagination", and doesn't see where the four hours were spent. Michael comes out with the cheese platter, which includes Applewood cheddar, Gouda, Port-Salut, Parmesan, and Brie. Now, I loves me some cheese, and that sounds very good. That said, dessert should be the last thing served, not this. And cutting hunks of cheese and tossing them onto plates can't really be classified as "cooking" or even "making" anything. Gail doesn't understand why they're getting this now. Anthony said that the challenge was to stretch boundaries and push the envelope, indicating that serving bits of cheese is pretty much the opposite of that. Agreed.

Commercials. Movie, schmovie. I'd certainly be willing to get behind shipping Cameron Diaz off to England and getting Kate Winslet in return.

Judges' Table. Anthony says that nobody took a chance and really stepped up, even though he said the exact opposite thing about Marcel during dinner. Ptom finds the chefs' response to the challenge disappointing, singling out Carlos' salad. It was lame and pedestrian. Elia's soup was delicious and well-textured. She may not have excelled at being cutting-edge, but at least made something tasty. The judges say that Marcel's roulade needs to be given some credit for being adventurous. It would have been perfect if he had basted it with some fat, and Gail enjoyed the cranberry gelee. Betty's dessert was a disaster. It was "pumpkin pie filling with burnt sugar on top". Michael's dishes were shockingly inappropriate, but at least the potatoes tasted good. Gail enjoyed the canape and the cheese was good, so he has a few things going for him. Anthony says he's like Betty Crocker and Charles Manson had a love child, which makes no sense, but it looks like Anthony's main concern is coming off as acidly witty, so I've sort of stopped listening to him. The chefs are called out to the table.

Gail asks if there was a leader. Michael says that he tried to contribute ideas, but they were shot down. Padma asks what those ideas were. He brings up the turducken lasagna. Ptom asks why he didn't do it, and Michael repeats that the idea was shot down by three people. Gail says that everyone liked the canape, and Padma says that he's redeemed himself from his disaster in the amuse-bouche challenge. He's then taken to task for ignoring the cutting-edge aspect of the challenge. He says that putting shrimp in the potato was his version of a twist, and Anthony says that it had "Flinstonian execution", but was the single most enjoyable bite of the meal. Carlos is asked why he chose to do salad. He says he didn't choose it, but everyone else was "straying from" it, so he stepped up. Why do a salad at all? Carlos agrees that he didn't have to do it, but was proud of what he did. He spins off into an annoying tangent about what we should all be thankful for. I think he smells what's coming. Ptom asks what he spent four hours on. There was one hour for roasting squash and then he chopped some stuff for Michael and Marcel. And? Ptom tries to rephrase the question, since it clearly wouldn't take that long to do what Carlos has outlined, and Carlos gets snippy, resenting that the judges would imply that he was sitting around on his butt. Ptom just says that he asked what Carlos had spent four hours on. For once, no accusations were leveled; he just didn't get a satisfactory response. Plus, Carlos? We saw the footage. You were sitting around on your butt.

Marcel thinks his dish was good conceptually, but fell short on execution. He says that given the chance, he'd do the roulade at a lower temperature, but couldn't cook it to perfection because he didn't have a... Hold on. A thermal emersion circulator. Oh, those! Yeah, no kitchen should be without one. See, this is why nobody likes Marcel. The other chefs roll their eyes. Ptom nails him for just making excuses, but agrees that his dish was further along conceptually than other people's. Elia likes mushroom soup, and was happy with the way it turned out. Betty admits that her brulee could have been a lot better. Gail asks why. Betty says that she elicited the help of others, and should have done everything herself. Wait, what? Is she implying her dessert sucked because Marcel ruined it? Because if all he did was torch a few of them, and encountered the same problem Betty herself did, then she's full of shit. Ptom calls her on making pie filling with sugar on top. Betty starts to lose her composure. Anthony asks her how her dessert was cutting-edge (man, am I sick of that phrase). She says that it's not her style; she tends to focus on comfort food. Ptom tells the chefs that the only dishes to really stand out were Elia's soup and Marcel's roulade. Anthony gets to pick the winner, and he selects Elia. Marcel took the challenge seriously, but Elia's was just plain better and more "sensible". How someone is awarded the win for being "sensible" in a cutting-edge challenge is beyond me, but I like Elia, so whatever.

Now, on to the losers. Ptom asks Betty who should be eliminated, if not her. She doesn't want to play that game, but Anthony tells her she has to make those kinds of decisions in any kind of leadership position. Michael takes the pressure off of her by volunteering to go first. He says he worked his ass off on his dishes, so Carlos should go for spending four hours on a salad. Carlos answers next, by saying that Betty's creme brulee was "a little bit lacking". Now, Betty can't wait to answer. She yells (yes, yells) "Carlos is out! Gone!" OK, settle down. Don't make us get the tranquilizer darts. She's asked why, and says that Carlos had the weakest dish, then spins off into saying that since she doesn't like Marcel's personality, he should be the one to go. If Carlos' dish wasn't so weak. But it was. So Carlos should go. Bitch crazy. The chefs are dismissed.

They go back to the Kitchen, and Betty says, with faux-cheerfullness "Carlos threw me under the bus again!". Tally mark! Again? When did he sell her out before? Also, "Betty's dish sucked donkey balls and even the merest taste of it made me want to projectile vomit until I passed out" is throwing her under the bus. "Betty's creme brulee was a little bit lacking" is not. Also, also, how can she complain about someone throwing her under the bus if she was going to turn around and do the same to him? It's not like she can play the martyr. Bitch crazy. They ask Betty what she said, and she says she chose Marcel, which she didn't, really. Bitch crazy. She says it's because she's still not a fan of his "tactics" and that he's selfish. Marcel is angry with the "selfish" charge, since he offered to help Betty with her cooking, and she's never offered to help him. They have a pointless mini-fight about when Betty has helped or not helped him in the past. He asks her if she offered to help him in this challenge, and she gears up for a long-winded answer. He points out that it's a yes-or-no question, and she screams at the top of her lungs "NO, IT'S NOT A YES-OR-NO QUESTION; IT'S AN EXPLANATION! SO SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND IF YOU'RE ASKING ME A QUESTION LET ME TELL YOU THE ANSWER!". All the other chefs are watching this with glee. Marcel reiterates that he helped her with her brulee, and she says she wishes he didn't, since they wound up sucking. Yeah, the fact that you don't know how to cook creme brulee is totally Marcel's fault. Bitch crazy. Marcel finally loses his facade of not caring, calls Betty a bitch, and hopes she gets punted.

Deliberations. Michael's food was inexplicable, but he seemed to believe in it. Carlos made no effort. Betty may believe that what she did was the best she could do. If that's the case, she may not belong here. You go, Gail. Ptom thinks "I do comfort food" is a poor excuse. The judges reach a decision.

Commercials. Two dumbasses take time away from a wedding to debate the merits of Animal House vs. Caddyshack. Hey, maybe this is the video from Michael's ceremony.

Elimination. The three bottom chefs come back to the table. None of them did anything cutting-edge, and their dishes weren't good. I thought they said Michael's food was good, just inappropriate? Stop waffling, judges. Michael ignored the challenge. Ptom tells Carlos that he gets the sense that Carlos isn't trying to win; just trying not to lose. Point to Ptom. Well spotted, sir. Betty needs to stretch her boundaries and not make excuses. And the loser is... Carlos, please pack your knives and go. And while he seems like an extremely likable person, I'm all for this. That salad was laughable. The chefs are dismissed. Anthony tells Michael to focus. Carlos says good-bye to the chefs, telling Cliff to "break an egg". Heh, I like that. In his final interview, Carlos says he's surprised he didn't get further, and that he had a few more tricks up his sleeve. He says he came for his Top Chef diploma, and didn't graduate, but got an education. Oof, more platitudes. My dad would love this guy.

Overall Grade: C+