The Amazing Race - Season 10, Episode 11
Previously on The Amazing Race: The back half of a double leg. The teams went to Kiev, where the Prom Court led the pack for the entire episode. After some uneventful tank-driving, teams raced off to the funniest Detour ever. Lyn and Karlyn leaped off of the sinking Underdog ship just in time, but there were no more lifeboats for Erwin and Godwin. Four teams remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Opening credits. Sarah, the way to escape him is to pedal in the other direction.
Kiev, Ukraine. Phil gives us his opening blather in front of a statue that appears to be telling us that the field goal is good. Tyler and James are off the mat first at 7:33 AM. Their clue tells them to head for Ouarzazate, Morocco. Ouarzazate would be a good name for a cat. Sorry, I'm on a sugar high from polishing off the last of my Girl Scout cookies, so I'm a bit loopy right now. Whee! Once in Morocco, teams will drive themselves about four miles and find a specific antique shop. There are four good luck charms there, and each team will pick one up, because one of them will lead to a super-special prize at the pitstop. Tyler and James hope to knock KanDustin out of the race, because they're such fierce competitors. Wait, not because they don't "deserve" to be there or because they're such horrible bitches? You actually want them gone for the right reasons? That's so refreshing! Speaking of KanDustin, they leave the mat at 7:41 AM. Dustin tells Kandice that she wrote a paper in college about Morocco. That'll come in handy! Snerk. I'm not trying to belittle her; I still whine about the time my chemistry class had to pick elements out of a jar to write a long paper about, and Lady Fortune saw fit to make me draw tin. Not that that's the most boring element ever. Aaaaaaanyway, KanDustin would really like to win.
Tyler and James pull over and ask a cab to lead them to the airport. RoKi leaves the mat at 8:19 AM. Rob says that the race is helping him "grow", and that he sometimes needs to breathe and calm down. Kimberly agrees, saying he needs to know that he can't control everything. I don't quite understand the Reformation of Rob arc here, because she can get just as hysterical as he does. Sometimes even more so. Whatever. KanDustin gets to the airport, and finds a flight that connects through Milan, and gets into Casablanca at 3:00 PM. The layover is practically nil, so it'll be tough to catch that second plane. They decide to risk it. Tyler and James arrive, and are confounded by the fact that KanDustin beat them there. They ask about flights, and are told that KanDustin's is full. They wander off to find another flight, and KanDustin asks the agent about getting to Ouarzazate. Turns out there's only one flight there, at 10:55 PM. So, wait. If there's only one flight out of Casablanca, KanDustin could go get different tickets, right? Ones that aren't such a high risk of missing the connecting flight? They know they'll have no time advantage over other teams anyway, and yet they never try to find a safer way there. Odd.
Lyn and Karlyn leave the mat at 9:08 AM. The teams don't get any money for this leg. Eat it, suckas! Lyn and Karlyn joke about what language Moroccans speak, and find it strange that they're the last surviving members of the Underdogs. Man, no kidding. I fully expected Lyn and Karlyn to be eliminated within the first three episodes. Though they (meaning Karlyn) can be thoroughly annoying people, I really should give them props for that. Lyn says that they're fully ready to compete as an individual team, rather than as part of an alliance. RoKi arrives at the airport. They meet up with Tyler and James, and find out about a flight connecting through Paris that gets into Casablanca at 4:35 PM. KanDustin approaches, and asks what tickets the Plastics got. Rob, looking to cause a little mischief, tells them they're getting into Casablanca at 1:00 PM. He interviews that KanDustin races with a "certain amount of arrogance", so he presumably wants to knock them down a peg. And what, you ask, is Kandice's "arrogant" reaction upon learning that they might not have a lead anymore? "We should get on that flight, D. We thought we were doing so good." OH MY GOD, WHAT BITCHES! The nerve of them to try and step up their game! Rob lets them in on the fact that they've been hoodwinked, and they laugh it off.
KanDustin's flight takes off. Lyn and Karlyn arrive at the airport. They also find the tickets through Paris, but won't get into Casablanca until 10:00 PM. Eh, doesn't matter. They'll still be able to catch the 10:55 to Ouarzazate. The second flight takes off. At 11:45 AM, KanDustin's flight lands in Milan. Dustin tells the camera that technically, the cutoff for checking into their connecting flight was five minutes ago. Indeed, the agent tells them that they won't be allowed to board. They try to beg their way on, but the agent shortly tells them that the flight is closed. KanDustin stomps off, talking about how bitchy the agent was. Which, yeah she was, but it isn't her fault they didn't get there in time. Graciously accept the consequences of your (pointless) risk, KanDustin. The other teams land in Paris at 1:20 PM. The Plastics hop onto their connecting flight. As Lyn and Karlyn wait out their layover, they pore over a very detailed map, working out their route for once they get to Morocco. Smart thinking, ladies. And wow, that map is huge. The Plastics land in Casablanca and pick up their final set of tickets on the 10:55 PM flight to Ouarzazate. They have no idea where KanDustin is. Lyn and Karlyn are next to arrive in Casablanca at 10:00 PM. Finally, KanDustin arrives. What time is it? I don't know. How did they finally get out of Milan, and what time was it then? Your guess is as good as mine. Everyone is shocked that KanDustin is on the plane, for some unfathomable reason. Rob says that he was "literally crushed". Arrrgh! He was hoping KanDustin's stupid risk would bite them in the ass.
Ouarzazate, Morocco. KanDustin comes out of the airport and pays a cab driver to lead them to the antique shop. The Plastics jump in their cars and decide to follow KanDustin, while Lyn and Karlyn stick to their map. In the RoKi car, Rob decides, even as he's following KanDustin, that he's "over" them. Yeah, those people you're hoping do your work for you want to be, like, in first place and stuff. OH MY GOD, WHAT BITCHES! Rob, once you're done learning how to "breathe" and "calm down", can gaining a nugget of self-awareness be next on the list? The cab driver everyone's following pulls over on the side of a street, and the driver gets out. Looks like he doesn't know the way to the shop. KanDustin hops out of the car to ask for directions. Meanwhile, Lyn and Karlyn pull right up to the shop. OK, that was awesome. They snag one of the good luck charms, and the man behind the counter hands over the next clue. It tells them to drive six miles to Atlas Studios, which was used as the background in Cleopatra and Gladiator. Oh, and "Caution: Yield Ahead". Phil explains the Yield's rules, which haven't changed, and which I still detest.
Lyn and Karlyn hurriedly drive away from the shop, and Karlyn's excited about using the Yield. Not using it at all isn't an option, apparently. They really want to stick it to someone. I can't imagine who they'd like to Yield. They certainly don't dislike any of these other teams, especially one that rhymes with DanKustin. Speaking of whom, they're still working on getting directions, as the Plastics laughingly agree to just let them do all the work, then follow them. Well, of course. No wonder Rob disapproves of KanDustin's racing style, since his is so noble. Lyn and Karlyn pass the other teams, and Tyler laughs that they have no idea what they're doing. Burn! They pull over and find a local to help them find Atlas Studios. Dramatic music kicks in as more and more guys approach the teams waiting for directions. KanDustin gets nervous and gets back into their car, and the Plastics take off. They're playing it up like KanDustin's about to get gang raped, which is a little unfair. They eventually figure out that the guys are pretty harmless, and get a local to join them and show them where the shop is.
Elsewhere, RoKi is doing the same thing. The Plastics make it to the shop first, and when they see that one of the good luck charms is gone, they automatically assume that KanDustin was the team to take it. Hehehehe. They get their charms and clues, and head for the studio. Karlyn has decided that KanDustin is definitely the team she wants to Yield. I'm shocked! KanDustin has run into some bad luck. The local they've got with them hasn't led them to the shop, and they're a bit lost. Rut roh! James hopes he and Tyler aren't Yielded. KanDustin finds the shop in last place, and are surprised that "the Sistas" found it. Seriously, KanDustin? Stop it. Now. Oof, it's like a knife in my ear every time I hear it. So of course Dustin says it again. Arrrgh! Lyn and Karlyn cackle over being able to Yield KanDustin, saying "what goes around, comes around". There's that curious morality again! But I'm sure this is the last time that Lyn and Karlyn will vilify someone else for behavior that they consider perfectly acceptable in themselves. And even if it's not, I'm certain that such blatant hypocrisy won't occur in the next ten minutes.
Commercials. I'm all for women having whatever birth control they want, but perhaps this lady should hold off bitching about the daily pill. Have you been keeping up with this administration, lady? You should be glad it's even legal.
Lyn is cautiously excited. KanDustin is nervous. Lyn and Karlyn arrive at the studios, and learn that it doesn't open until 8 AM. Whaaaaaa? OK, I'm all for equalizing points, be it due to flights or hours of operation. If people were just allowed to race and race and race, then someone would no doubt get way out in front, and the entire show would be boring. Also, Lyn and Karlyn are going to be on my shitlist very, very soon. That said? This is total bullshit. It is blatantly unfair to equalize everyone right before the Yield, because it renders all the advantages of racing well this leg pointless. Not only that, but it turns this entire Yield into a mini-footrace. Lyn and Karlyn raced their asses off to get here in first place, and it sucks that they now have to outrun young, athletic people (like that'll happen) to get anything out of it. Bleh. Very poor planning here. Lyn and Karlyn are justifiably pissed. The Plastics pull up, and are shocked to see that Lyn and Karlyn have beat them there. KanDustin arrives in last, and hopes that they'll be able to pull themselves together the next day. Sleepytime for all.
Morning. At 8:00, the gates open, and the teams all run in a straight shot to the Yield. Let's get this shit over with. Tyler and James get there first and don't use the Yield. RoKi doesn't use the Yield. KanDustin Yields Lyn and Karlyn. This is such crap. The overall situation is such crap, that is. Yielding Lyn and Karlyn is pretty much KanDustin's only chance to pick up some time right now, so they acted wisely, even though this should never have happened. Tyler and James reach the cluebox. Roadblock! The chosen team member will join a professional charioteer, and race around a dirt track. Each horse has a colored plume, and the Roadblocker will need to pull down two flags with the corresponding color on their way around. Once they've got the flags, they'll get the next clue. That's pretty neat. James takes the Roadblock, as does Rob. Good choice. He reminds us that Kimberly and horses don't exactly get along. There's a black and white flashback for the forgetful. Dustin takes the Roadblock. Lyn and Karlyn flip the Yield hourglass over. KanDustin thanks Tyler for not Yielding them. Hey, yeah! Why didn't they? Weird. Kandice reiterates to the camera that they had to Yield Lyn and Karlyn. I still agree. And how does Karlyn feel about being Yielded? "Well, you know I already hated them, so... I expected it, because it's typical of something they would do. They've shown no character at all in this game. That's on them to live with. They have to live with that. I can go home at night and go right to sleep." Yep, when Lyn and Karlyn were going to Yield KanDustin, it was perfectly fine. They even admitted that they were going to do so for personal reasons. However, when KanDustin Yields them? OH MY GOD, WHAT BITCHES! Shut the fuck up, Karlyn.
The Roadblockers get into what can only be called period garb for their task. Dustin hops on the horse with the purple plumes, James gets blue, and Rob gets red. The crowd the show asked to stand around and cheer does so with admirable zeal. James' horse takes off in the wrong direction, and he yells at it. Heh. I'm not sure a Moroccan horse is going to take guff from a guy who calls everyone "bro". Lyn and Karlyn watch. Karlyn hopes doing the task by herself will be easier than trying to do it with a bunch of other horses on the track. It's a distinct possibility. One of the chariots crashes spectacularly. The charioteers spill out, and a wheel goes spinning off by itself, which is, of course, the law of the universe. Kandice is worried about who was riding in it, but Tyler realizes that it was staged "movie stuff". Kimberly wonders what it'd be like (read: secretly wishes) if an actual racer fell like that. The carts round a curve to dramatic music. Dustin grabs her first flag. Rob snags one, too. James reaches out for his, but misses it by a country mile. Lyn and Karlyn watch sourly. The Roadblockers come around a bend. Dustin gets her second flag, as does Rob. James manages to pull his first. Rob and Dustin's chariots pull over. As KanDustin passes back by Lyn and Karlyn, Karlyn shoots them the middle finger. Classy. Lyn tells her not to do that; that it's ugly. Karlyn apologizes. To Lyn, that is. Dustin tells Kandice about the finger, taking yet another opportunity to call Lyn and Karlyn the Sistas. That alone warrants the finger.
RoKi rips the clue. It tells them to drive 22 miles to the town of Idelssan, and find the Cafe Pirgola, where the next cluebox will be waiting. ANOTHER "Sistas". Urrrgh! After reading their own clue, KanDustin asks RoKi if they want to work with them to find the cafe faster. They agree, and Rob interviews that he doesn't trust KanDustin, but it's handy to "use" them once in a while. James yanks his second flag. Just as he starts to pull over, the sand runs out on the Yield. Karlyn takes the Roadblock. Again, Rob insults KanDustin (calling their use of the Yield "crappy", which...NOT) even as he lets them do his work for him. I never thought I'd see the day that the requisite muscly, white, straight boys would be the most self-aware team left. Yet here we are. As Karlyn gets ready to do the Roadblock, Lyn tells the camera that it's "interesting that everybody finds us a threat." She continues by saying that it was "stupid on [KanDustin's] part", because KanDustin shouldn't want to race in the final three with teams that are as physically fit as they. Good thinking, Lyn! KanDustin should have totally Yielded that other team that was behind them! You know, the invisible one! Dumbass. Tyler and James rip their clue, and arrange for a taxi to lead them to the cafe.
Karlyn takes the green-plumed horses, and gets started. Lyn thinks Karlyn being pissed from the Yield will spur her on to do better. Hey, maybe that's why Lyn and Karlyn are in the final four. Karlyn's always pissed. She grabs her first flag. Lyn notes that they're really not that far behind. RoKi and KanDustin have stopped for directions, and Tyler and James pass them. They soon form a little convoy. Karlyn gets her second flag. Lyn thinks that Karlyn got her flags more quickly than the other teams did. They rip their clue, and hop into the car.
The cab driver that James and Tyler have hired doesn't want to go the whole way to Idelssan, so he points them in the right direction, then ditches. Weird-ass cabbie. It's only 22 miles. The bad car luck that seems to follow RoKi everywhere they go strikes again, and they get a flat tire. KanDustin notes it gleefully. Lyn and Karlyn pull over and talk someone into riding with them to Idelssan. Kimberly says that Lyn and Karlyn tend to be very good with directions, so it's crucial to not get lost on this drive. KanDustin passes RoKi, and calls out the window to them that they've got a flat. Rob pulls over. Kimberly, anticipating his hissyfit, tries to cut him off at the pass by telling him not to freak out. He starts to anyway. Lyn and Karlyn's passenger also doesn't want to go with them the whole way. Is Idelssan haunted or something? They drop him off, and he points the way.
A frustrated RoKi begins to change their tire. Karlyn says that while they've never come in first, they keep hanging in there, so there must be a higher power that wants them in the race. Yeah, God loves people who flick others off because they're beating them in a competition. Rob can't find a jack in their car. Weird. You'd think it'd have one. Lyn and Karlyn pass by, and say that they're not going to help RoKi out. Because they're in a race, and it's perfectly acceptable not to assist your direct competition? No, don't be silly. It's because RoKi didn't have the good sense to Yield KanDustin. You know, I've been watching my share of reality television this season, and I can pretty confidently say that Lyn and Karlyn will be taking home the coveted Most Undeservedly Self-Entitled crown. Rob has now discovered that the car does, indeed, have a jack, but he can't pull it out of its panel. Yeah, that's not bad luck. That's just ineptitude.
Commercials. Yes, when I think of spreading love and peace throughout the world, GAP certainly springs to mind.
RoKi manages to flag down a passing motorist, who agrees to pull over and let them use his jack. Meanwhile, the Prom Court finds the cafe and the cluebox. Two random guys are standing nearby, playing instruments. I assume they were there to provide some local color, but we barely see them, so they just wind up looking like, well, two random guys. Detour! Throw It or Grind It. In Throw It, teams have to drive four miles to another town, find a marked pottery shop, and throw two properly-made pots. Once an artisan approves the pots, they'll get the next clue. In Grind It, teams travel four miles back towards Ouarzazate, and find a horse ranch/olive farm. Once there, the team has to use an olive mill (a big grindstone worked by walking in a circle) to grind 77 pounds of olives. Once the olives are ground and put into pressing sleeves, they'll get the next clue. Both Detour options have three workstations available, so it's first-come, first-served.
Tyler and James dither a little bit, while KanDustin immediately chooses Grind It. As they leave, Tyler and James ask what they're doing. Dustin tells them they're going to Grind It. Tyler says he and James are going to Throw It. "Have fun," Dustin tosses out, and they're off. Once they're in the car, Tyler and James realize that "throwing" pots means to make them, not hurl them. Heh. Part of me wishes they'd arrived at the Detour before figuring that out. About a 99% part. Dustin says "Sistas" again. Gaaah! Speaking of whom, Lyn and Karlyn pull up to the cafe. Tyler and James are still there, trying to decide what to do. The pots sound too hard, so they change their minds and head for Grind It. Lyn and Karlyn get the clue. Karlyn used to be an art major, and says that throwing pots isn't easy. They go for Grind It. Pointless strategy blah from all the teams except RoKi, who's busy standing back, watching kind-hearted locals change the tire for them. KanDustin passes them on their way back, and guess what? They don't stop and outline for RoKi exactly where they need to go. OH MY GOD, WHAT BITCHES! How dare they not let everyone pass them in order to help the team who openly despises, yet "uses" them? Tyler and James do pause to give their fellow Plastics some general directions. Karlyn's pleased to be far ahead of RoKi.
RoKi (by which I mean everyone present except RoKi) finishes changing the tire, and they head for the cafe. They also initially choose Throw It, and quickly change their minds. Yeah, nobody wants to throw pots. It's too easy to screw that up. KanDustin hopes they're going the right way. Tyler thinks KanDustin's game has slipped a little this leg (which I'd agree with), but James warns against underestimating them. Lyn and Karlyn are pleased with how they're doing, Karlyn spouting the titular quote. She giggles. RoKi frets. James hopes that they can find the Detour, and that KanDustin will overshoot it. His prayers are answered. KanDustin overshoots it. They stop and figure out that they need to turn around, but Tyler and James have already found the Detour, with Lyn and Karlyn right behind them. Both teams get started. There's not much to say about the task itself. Team members walk in circles. Riveting! RoKi and KanDustin are nervous. Lyn/Karlyn/Tyler/James grind. Ew, not like that, perv. And next to find the Detour is...RoKi! Man, KanDustin must have really overshot. RoKi gets started on the olive-grinding, so when KanDustin finally arrives, there are no workstations. They're upset, and give us a rousing chorus of "Poor Us, We're Out of It".
Commercials. Wow, a movie centered around football, starring Matthew McBlahBlahBlah? Sign me up! To do anything but see this movie!
KanDustin knows they're in big trouble now. One of them says that she has no idea how this happened. Hmm, could it have been because you drove for a really long time in the wrong direction? Tyler and James fill some pressing sleeves, and get about three done before Lyn and Karlyn start filling theirs. Lyn and Karlyn are naturally pleased with being ahead of the girls who Yielded them, as anyone would be. Tyler and James finish filling their bags, and KanDustin springs into action. They start hauling the wheelbarrow of olives over to the empty mill. Tyler and James rip the clue that sends them to the pitstop, a nomadic Berber camp 25 miles away. It's off the main road, but the way is marked by a small rock with a red and yellow flag painted on it. Lyn and Karlyn finish up before Tyler and James are gone. Both teams head for the pitstop. Lyn and Karlyn are deservedly thrilled about overcoming the Yield. Of course, they have to ruin it by putting it down to bad karma biting KanDustin in the ass. If people build up bad karma by actually attempting to win the games they play, I should stop going to Chrisngnat's for Cheapass game night.
RoKi and KanDustin grind their olives. RoKi finishes first, of course. The lead teams drive. Karlyn bitches about KanDustin some more, like, can she find another topic for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES? RoKi wraps up their olives (literally! ba-dum-bump), and gets the pitstop clue. KanDustin keeps working. RoKi drives. KanDustin finishes. Tyler and James spot the roadside marker. They pull over and jog down the road in high spirits. They're almost to the mat when the editors insert an honest-to-goodness scratching record sound. James remembers he's left the good luck charm in the car, and they run back to get it. As they do so, Lyn and Karlyn arrive and head for the mat. Tyler and James are obviously faster, so Lyn and Karlyn are again hosed by a footrace. Tyler and James check in as team number one, plus their good luck charm matches the greeter's. For that, they win some phone/organizer/internet doohickey. Lyn and Karlyn check in as team number two. KanDustin correctly surmises that people are putting their placement down to bad karma. "There's no bad karma in a game!" Kandice says. "You do what you do to win." Amen, sister. RoKi gets a bit lost, as they do. Both teams drive intensely. The music throbs intensely. Who will make it to the pitstop next? Whooooo? Well, it's RoKi, unsurprisingly. They check in as team number three.
KanDustin clutches hands and profess their love for one another as they approach the mat. They check in, and are told that they're the last to arrive. But wait! This is the last non-elimination point in the race! KanDustin is still in it! As with David and Mary, if they don't come in first place next week, it's an automatic thirty-minute penalty. Phil tells them that they're a real threat to win the race, and all the other teams would love to see them gone. They smilingly agree. Dustin says that you can't make everyone happy in this type of situation, and they both love that the other teams will go crazy when they see that KanDustin hasn't been eliminated. No kidding. Man, I wish I could see that.
Next week on The Amazing Race: RoKi stresses out again. Karlyn runs out of other people to bitch at, and turns on Lyn. People throw tomatoes at RoKi. Heh, that's probably not even part of the race. Kimberly freaks out and possibly abandons a task.
Overall Grade: B-
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