Unhappy Customers

Top Chef - Season 2, Episode 10

Previously on Top Chef: Everything in the world, including the bubonic plague, was Marcel's fault. Michael snuck in and won his first challenge. Then his second. Betty's string of crappy food and crappier behavior finally came to an end. Six muffin-manglers remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Cellblock. Elia always seems to find it strange that the eliminated contestant isn't there the next day. I wonder if she's fully grasped the concept of elimination. She's the sole woman left, and really wants to make it to the finale. I want it too, Elia. Hang in there. She strolls over to the men's room, and everyone discusses how Michael has made Top Chef history by winning a Quickfire and an Elimination Challenge in the same episode. The fact that Michael, who's been semi-incompetent in about 80% of the challenges, is the one to set this record says a lot about this season, doesn't it? Elia asks where Marcel is, and gets dismissive answers about how he's off crying or contemplating suicide, because he's so unpopular. So I guess the bullying is still going strong. Funny thing is, Marcel certainly yells and screams as much as his tormentors do, but he's never sniveled or cried or been all "whyyyyyyy don't you guys liiiiiike me?" about it. And you know it's killing them. Marcel is up on the roof, saying he doesn't particularly feel like hanging out with the other chefs. I can't imagine why not. He's written a little something expressing his feelings, and he'd like to share it with us. Oh, good. Open up to us, Marcel.

These People -- by Marcel Vigneron
As soon as I came to this spot...
You started trying to make me out to be something I'm not.
It's taken every ounce that I've got...
Not to pop you in the face.
And you have no grounds to base your accusations off of...
Cause your building's built on quicksand.
You say my food lacks fundamentals like salt and pepa...
And I'm like 'Yo, man! Whatever!'
I don't even get stressed.
Because I know at the end of the day...
My food is fuckin' soignee!

Mind you, this is not a poem. This is performed as a full-on rap. I'm in physical pain. I had this grand idea to annotate that performance and dissect just how awful in every respect it is, from the meter to the patchy rhyme scheme, but every time I tried, my fingers would curl into fists from sheer embarrassment on his behalf. You see why I don't watch American Idol? So, let's all take a few minutes to hunt down an ipecac, and I'll meet you back here for the...

Quickfire Challenge. Padma meets the remaining chefs in the Kitchen, and introduces this round's guest judge, Mike Yakura. You may remember Mike for his impressive stream of profanity when he was a guest judge last season, but it looks like he's not counting on that to make an impression. No, now he's joined the uncountable ranks of people with Haircuts That Make A Statement, and his statement is this: "Look at my hair!". Let's give him what he wants. He's shaven all but a strip in the middle, but instead of sticking it up like a mohawk, there are large, separated strands of greased-back hair. It's fairly nasty. It's like a backwards combover. Padma tells the chefs that this round's challenges are about vision and execution, saying that original ideas are very important. That statement will be unintentionally hilarious in about ten minutes. The Quickfire today is to create an original snack, using any of the many provided ingredients on a large table. The snack must also incorporate at least one of three lovingly product-placed condiments: mayonnaise, Italian dressing, and barbecue sauce. Cliff interviews that mayonnaise is all well and good, but it's not really something you use when it comes to gourmet cooking. Mike tells the chefs that he'll be looking at how the snack is constructed (if it's physically easy to eat and such) in addition to flavor. Padma gives them the standard thirty minutes.

They're off! Sam is unabashedly looking forward to using the mayonnaise. Heh. Marcel grabs some lamb and begins making a curried mayonnaise. He plans to serve it as a kebab, saying that everyone loves meat on a stick. I know I do! And not just in the dirty sense! Michael hopes to continue winning challenges as he starts on a crab and Brie quesadilla. OK, I love crab, and I love cheese, in pretty much all its forms. But cheese ON crabmeat? Bleeeeeeeuuurg. Marcel calls out a nine-minute warning. Ilan is making little Napoleons, and interviews that he tried to foam the Italian dressing in an "homage" to Marcel. So now Ilan is beyond trashing Marcel, and beyond attempting to sabotage Marcel. He's now actively screwing up his own food, simply to try and get Marcel's goat. That settles it. Some of the other chefs may be jerks, but Ilan has taken all leave of his senses, and is into full-on, Single White Female-Hand That Rocks the Cradle-Fatal Attraction OBSESSION with Marcel. Also, note that Ilan says that he "tried" to make a foam. For all of his snottiness about Marcel's lack of cooking talent, he can't even make fun of Marcel properly, because get this, his foam doesn't work. Hahahahahahaha! People plate their food, and time runs out.

Padma and Mike go down the line, starting with Marcel. He's made a simple lamb kebab (which also has endives and tomato on it) with curried mayonnaise. There's also a touch of honey, we're told. Huh. I wonder if that'd be any good. Mike tells him it's fantastic. Marcel thanks him. Cliff has made a steak tartare with the mayonnaise, cornichons (read: cucumber), and plums. Mike tells him it's very good. Sam's up next with a sandwich that encompasses tempura shrimp, pickled peaches marinated in the Italian dressing, and a barbecue sauce aioli. That sounds really good. Mike declares it "interesting", which could go either way. Michael has made Brie and crab quesadillas with a chipotle and mayonnaise salad. I freely admit I may be missing something important, but I just don't see how that would taste good at all. He pronounces chipotle as chi-POHL-tay. Padma gently corrects him, and he mispronounces it again. She corrects him again, now fairly amused at his ignorance. As are we all. Mike asks him about mixing seafood and cheese (thank you!), but Michael just says that he likes it. Mike's all "OK, weirdo." Elia is told her plate looks lovely, which it does, though not very easy to handle. She's made a fig raisin toast with yogurt, honey, almonds, grapes, and barbecue sauce. Hmm. Mike likes the pairing of the smoky sauce with the toasted almonds and the sweet accent of the honey. Ilan has made smoked salmon Napoleons, and proudly shows off his shitty foam. Padma laughs, because poking fun at Marcel's penchant for foam is a good tease. Or would have been, had the foam not sucked, which Marcel happily points out in an interview.

The chefs gather for the decision. Bad news first. Michael's dish was "heavy-handed" and "frenetic". Also, he just glopped mayonnaise on as a condiment, instead of actually using it in the dish. Yeah, that was kind of the point to the entire challenge, Michael. That's like when Brian used the octopus challenge to...plop some octopus down on his stew. Ilan's snack was too dry. Nice job shooting yourself in the foot, there, Tex. Now, the good news. Sam's sandwich was great, and incorporated all of the three highlighted condiments. Elia's dish was fantastically clean. Marcel's kebab was great, and was heightened by the curried mayonnaise. Cliff's tartare was fantastic. Padma voices over that this Quickfire challenge will have two winners, each of whom will get a "special prize". Mike gets to choose the winners, and he selects Sam and Marcel. Sam is a good sport and shakes Marcel's hand. Padma congratulates the two of them, and takes us straight into the...

Elimination Challenge. Padma reminds the chefs that this round is about executing their vision in the real world. The six chefs will divide into two teams (of course -- haven't we been over this?). Each team will take over half of an empty restaurant space, and get it up and running in order to serve up to 24 people. I see. So, in an episode in which Padma tells everyone how important it is to have original ideas, we not only get a guest judge from the first season, but a challenge also lifted almost entirely from the first season. Boring. Say what you will about Tyra (and people say plenty), but at least she and her team have been able to come up with original photo shoot ideas for seven seasons. This is just plain lazy. As "reward" for winning the Quickfire, Marcel and Sam get to choose teams. Because the burden of responsibility for chefs who are your direct competition and getting automatic blame when things go awry are such nifty prizes. Marcel gets to choose first, and he picks Elia, of course. Sam takes Ilan. Marcel apologizes to Michael, but chooses Cliff. Cliff interviews that he's wanted to hit Marcel multiple times during the competition, but will tolerate him, because he wants to win. Wait, what? Did someone just express his dislike for Marcel in a non-idiotic way? Stop the presses!

Padma takes entirely too long to explain to the chefs that their restaurant space is just a big, empty room right now. Yep, we've got it, thanks. The teams can discuss ideas on the way to the space, will have half an hour to look around, then another half an hour to outline ideas for their "design team". Tomorrow, everyone will shop for supplies and get the space ready for customers. Both teams will be given a server to help out. Ilan interviews (in one of the many ones we've seen with his mint green bandana covered by a hood - bleh) that the challenge of preparing a restaurant in twenty-four hours is very difficult. I'll bet. The chefs head out.

On the way to the space, Elia says that she's a fast cooker, but could also be adept at handling the front of the house. Cliff interviews that working on teams has not been his strong suit (boy, I'll say), but is hoping for the best while expecting the worst. In the car, Cliff volunteers to handle front of the house. Elia softly tells the car window that she wanted to do it. She interviews that she'd be very comfortable in that role, and asks Cliff why he wants to handle it. He says that it's what he'd do in his own restaurant. Elia interviews that she's not going to pick a fight over this, and tells the team that it's fine, she'll just cook. This is where we need Deborah Tannen to come in and explain that whole disparity in man/woman working relation speech pattern thing to Elia. If she had just said "Listen, I feel really comfortable in handling the front of the house, so that's what I'd like to do," Cliff and Marcel probably wouldn't have had any problem with it. Instead, she says she can do whatever, and when Cliff takes her at her word and chooses front of the house duties, she feels like she's been snaked, which she hasn't. She was very passive about the whole thing, expressing her preference only in hints that the guys didn't pick up on. Assert yourself, Elia!

Sam interviews that he's confident with his team. He calls Ilan a "great cook" immediately following up by calling Michael a "good guy". Hehehehe. Nice backhanded compliment. They talk about what to name their restaurant, and come up with the idea of combining the names of their girlfriends/wives. Michael's wife is Lacey, Sam's girlfriend is Lauren, and Ilan's girlfriend is Carolina, so they settle on Lalalina. Dear Carolina, I know I know literally nothing about you but your name, but you can do better. Love, Limecrete. Team Lalalina hopes to win, and agrees that Marcel's got to be the one eliminated. Well, maybe that goal would be more easily accomplished if 2/3 of you didn't screw up the Quickfire. The teams arrive at the space, and as promised, it is big and empty. Various chefs tell us this as if we can't see it for ourselves or haven't been told about it multiple times by Padma. WE GET IT. Empty space. Consider it understood. The chefs discover that they'll be sharing a kitchen. Marcel interviews that they've got their work cut out for them, and really drives home the point by making Dave Coulier-ish hand symbols at us. Marcel gets lamer with every interview.

Commercials. Are that lady's babies OK? They're very bald. Chemo bald.

Elia recaps the challenge for us. Lalalina's "design team" comes in. It's one lady who will purchase paint and decorations and such, and help put the room together. Fancy! Her name is Marla, and they settle in to discuss ideas. They'd like to put together an Italian theme. Sam tells Marla to picture an eighty-year-old grandmother in the kitchen. Nicely evocative. Christine is the other side's "design team". They tell her they're going for a Mediterranean theme (and decide to call the restaurant Medi), but note that the tables provided kind of bring to mind a '50s diner. Armed with overall ideas but precious few details, Marla and Christine head out to shop. I don't envy them their task. On the way back to the Cellblock, Elia jokes that they should have just gone with a diner theme, and that she can whip up a really good burger. That joke plants the seed of a genuine idea, and after tossing it back and forth a bit, the team decides to completely rework their idea and go with the diner theme (although Cliff is never shown agreeing or disagreeing). By the time they get back to the Cellblock, the entire concept has been thrown together, and they decide to call their restaurant M.E.C. (presumably their initials -- one would hope they could have been a bit more imaginative, but whatever). It falls to Cliff to call Christine and tell her to forget everything they told her before. Surprisingly, Christine doesn't seem to mind at all. I guess she hasn't bought anything yet. Lalalina sits at a table and ponders their menu. They make up a shopping list.

Morning. Ilan's Festival of Obsession - Part 2. He and Elia are lounging around, and he tells her that both of them need to make it to the finals. He says that he doesn't want to be mean, but he hopes M.E.C. loses, and that Marcel goes home. He never suggests to Elia that she intentionally try and throw the challenge, but I suppose we're meant to think that, because Elia interviews that she's never had any trouble with Marcel, and that they're working together on the same team. What Ilan does do is ask her to blame absolutely everything on Marcel, should M.E.C. lose. Elia nicely plays this off by saying she just doesn't want to wind up at the losers' table, instead of telling him to cram it sideways, which is what she's probably thinking.

Time to shop. Cliff and Michael head to the restaurant supply store, whose employees are no doubt cursing the day they ever agreed to partner up with this show. They have an hour and $500 for supplies. The other chefs go to the grocery store, and have the same time and budget constraints. Sam tells us about the Lalalina menu. First, there will be a fried meatball, followed up with spaghetti topped with parsley-walnut pesto. The main course will be roasted pork loin with sofrito sauce, and for dessert, watermelon "gnocchi". If I knew more about food, I'd know why that's in quotes (or maybe not, since this show is horrible about punctuation), but I have no idea. Sam and Ilan call Michael to discuss something or other, but the entire purpose of the scene is to show off the product-placed picture phone. Too bad it shows the picture Michael sends taking a hideously long time to upload. Marcel and Cliff are also on the phone, talking about which drinks to purchase. They settle on beer and root beer. The M.E.C. menu will be a barbecue-coffee chicken wing (odd), tempura vegetables, "The Best Burger Ever", and Oreo lemon pie for dessert. Ilan (or Sam) tells Michael on the phone that they didn't have enough money to buy wine, so Michael puts back the wineglasses he was going to purchase. As a result of this, he's left with $100 or so unspent. Meanwhile, Sam is fretting over not buying wine for an Italian dinner, as well he should. He doesn't fret for long, and eventually just decides that everything's going to be OK. Hmm.

Back at the restaurant, the chefs have four hours of prep time. Marcel enjoys working the line in the kitchen. Glad to hear it. With three hours left, Christine is hard at work out in the front, getting the dining space ready. Cliff interviews that he had to do a lot of running around, between helping prep things in the kitchen, and making sure Christine isn't "hanging herself". Over on Lalalina, Michael interviews that they're working together as a team, rather than having a leader. Marla is nowhere to be seen. Sam is nervous that a space named after their girlfriends is going to wind up looking like crap. Hehehe. I like this low-key Sam much better than the Sam in, well, pretty much every other episode. On M.E.C., Elia interviews that she was disturbed that Cliff raised his voice to her while getting things ready. I steel myself for yet another so-and-so hates so-and-so episode, but I can tell you now that this tension pretty much never amounts to anything, so let's not waste any more time on it. Marla finally shows up with two hours to go. She needs one of the guys to help her, so Michael starts trying to get the room decorated. It's not going well. M.E.C. is behind as well. Christine has left to get some carpet, and not much is getting done in her absence.

In the kitchen, Sam suggests that Ilan pull his bacon off of the stove. Ilan tells him that it's almost done. Ptom stops by to check in. He and Marla kid about how Michael isn't doing any work. Sam has no time for this, and asks to use Michael in the kitchen for a while. And lo and behold, Ilan's bacon is totally burnt and ruined. Mmm, that schadenfreude is delicious. Sam curtly tells him to throw the bacon away. Ilan interviews that he was doing three things at once, and that Sam was mad at him for screwing up. Yep. Sam hurriedly slices some more bacon. Ilan apologizes.

Ptom comes back to the kitchen and also admonishes Ilan for screwing up. If I liked Ilan more, I'd point out that everyone makes mistakes, and at least he took responsibility for it, instead of snotting something about how he's too busy to make sure everything's going well. But since I loathe him, I'll just revel over this twit who spends 90% of his time crabbing about how much someone else sucks, while simultaneously messing up challenges left and right. Marcel and Ptom talk for a moment, and Marcel seems very confident in his team's success. Ten minutes left. The usual cooking chaos ensues. The finishing touches are put on the dining rooms, which still look pretty crappy. It's understandable, but let's not pretend they accomplished anything noteworthy with the decorating on either side. Various people that the show managed to snow into eating on-camera wait outside. Time runs out.

Commercials. Oof, don't tempt me with those pretty coffee tables. I desperately need a new one.

Marcel interviews that the dining room could still certainly use some work, but that all the food is ready. The diners start to come in, and are presented with both teams' menus. They get to choose which restaurant they'll eat in. Ilan has the grace to be worried about Lalalina's chances, because he ate one of Elia's burgers, which he found extremely delicious. Aw, that was nice of him. Do that 5,603,824 more times and I may start to think you're not a waste of perfectly good organs, Ilan. Look at me, getting all soft. Initially, Lalalina gets far more diners. As one guest puts it, "You can get a burger somewhere else." Cliff is worried about attracting diners to M.E.C. The poor M.E.C. server stands around looking ineffectual. In fact, some of the diners who go to M.E.C. only do so because Lalalina is full. Ouch. The M.E.C. server finally has something to do. He's really cute, by the way. He offers people their beer or root beer. A guest at Lalalina eats an olive from a dish of them set out on the table. His companion asks him what he's going to do with the pit, and having nowhere else to put it, it just goes on the table. So that was a relatively minor little scene. We don't know at this point that that olive pit will wind up being THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD.

Ilan admits to having no serving experience. He and the server take out the fried meatball. A table of guests talk about whether they're going to have white or red wine. Rut roh. The judges come in and seat themselves at an M.E.C. table. Cliff interviews that he's embracing his first serving experience wholeheartedly. He does seem to be looking after the random guests, but makes a critical mistake in leaving the judges hanging for all of five minutes. Horrors! They're bitchy about it. Cliff admits that maybe he's taken on a little too much, what with this massive amount of front of the house duties. Each restaurant can seat up to twenty-four people, right? That's not many at all. Plus, they've got help! Are you telling me that Cliff and Ilan can't handle serving twelve people? Experience or not, that seems pretty easy to me, especially when the menus are pre-set. Marcel interviews that Cliff was not expediting the food well, and doesn't know why Cliff even volunteered to take on serving duty. The judges get their drinks brought to them after ten minutes. OK, I take back my sarcastic "Horrors!". That is too long.

Over at Lalalina, Ilan and the server take out linguini with pesto, which also has mushrooms in it. So, it's completely different from what the titles in the grocery store said they'd be serving. Is this season over yet? A couple of the guests find the mushrooms salty and overdone. Michael interviews that Sam's freaking out a little bit, which appears to be because Michael needs direction on every single thing. Sam interviews that he's been "helping Michael along the way", because he likes him, but he's tired of having to tell him how to do everything. After eighteen minutes of waiting, the judges finally get a lonely little chicken wing served to them. Yike. They're not happy with it. Gail finds the sauce sloppy, and most of them decide the wing is undercooked. The tempura vegetables are much more successful. Both the guests and the judges seem to enjoy them. Elia finds Cliff's service slow. I find the pacing in this episode slow. Marcel reiterates that service is not Cliff's forte. The burger is met with mixed reviews. Padma likes the chips that accompany it, and Mike likes the flavor, but Gail thinks hers is overdone. More pointless kitchen tension. Cliff serves the judges dessert. Mike isn't impressed by a simple crushed Oreo. Guests fill out their comment cards. The judges leave. Cliff is apprehensive.

The judges get seated at Lalalina. Ilan explains the inspiration for the name. Padma discovers THE TELLTALE OLIVE PIT on the table. If I ever write a play, it shall be called "The Telltale Olive Pit". I guess it'll have to be my second play, after that other one concludes its run. Ilan swipes it off the table. The server gives them glasses of water (with no ice in it, I notice), and also offers tangerine soda. Ptom's not happy that there's no booze, and it looks like the other Lalalani guests are similarly bummed. There is bread (and those bowls of olives set out), but there's nothing to put those things on, such as, I don't know... Plates. Gail notes that the Lalalina service is faster as Ilan brings out the meatball. The judges really like it, even saying that the meatball is better than Elia's burger. Sam is still running around after Michael in the kitchen, trying to fix his little mistakes. Ilan and the server bring out the mushroom pasta. The judges are unimpressed.

The pork is served. There's some polenta on the side. Mike asks why it's on the side, and before Ilan can concoct an answer, asks if it's because there's too much shit on the plate. So he just asked the question so he could score a point off of somebody. Shut up, ass. Yes, you're totally cool. We've seen the hair. Ilan interviews that Mike was a bit rude. And while I'd love to be all "And you'd know from rude, wouldn't you?!?!?!", he's right. The time for being rude to the chefs is Judges' Table, if even then. Not while they're actively trying to serve you. Anyway, a random guest finds the pork bland. More Michael-needs-help blah in the kitchen. The watermelon gnocchi is served. There's Gorgonzola cheese melted on top, along with some other ingredients not worth going into. Mike likes the salt on it, but that's about it. Sam spies on them, and notes their lack of enthusiasm. The guests fill out their comment cards. Some stoner writes that the chef must have been on crack, solely to be a dick. Both teams hem and haw about their chances.

Commercials. Hey, America! Vote for the fan favorite, who will receive $10,000. Let me save you some time. The majority of voters will be squeeing women who find Sam dreamy. He'll win. I'll vomit.

Judges' Table. Mike found more personality in the Quickfire dishes than the Elimination ones. Gail thinks the M.E.C. high-end diner concept fell flat. Ptom says that a lot of diners gravitated towards Lalalina, which should count in their favor. Padma mentions THE TELLTALE OLIVE PIT. You'd think the thing maliciously jumped in her throat and actively tried to choke her. Gail blames THE TELLTALE OLIVE PIT on the lack of dishes provided. Padma can't believe they tried to pull off an Italian restaurant with no wine. Neither Cliff nor Ilan did well with their serving duties. They pit the teams' courses against each other. The meatball easily wins out over the chicken wing. The tempura vegetables beat the mushroom pasta. Neither the pork nor the burger was anything to write home about. Lalalina's watermelon dessert made Gail nauseous, but the lemon Oreo pie was boring. Speaking of boring, since neither team really impressed the judges, they decide that there will be no winner tonight. Zzzzzzz. Padma comes back to the Kitchen and summons Lalalina to the table.

Gong noise. Padma tells Lalalina that they are not the winning team. Ilan shakes his head in disbelief, because everything he makes is wonderful. Except that unimpressive plate of red food. And his soggy funnel cakes. And his dry Napoleons with non-foam. Gail reads off some of the comment cards. Complaints include the lack of wine and the aforementioned chef-on-crack barb. Gail says that the judges were thinking along the exact same lines as the diners, though I find it hard to believe they sat there and speculated about rampant drug use. THE TELLTALE OLIVE PIT is brought up. Since Michael was in charge of buying plates and had extra money left over, the fact that there was nothing to catch THE TELLTALE OLIVE PIT is considered his fault. Then the team is reamed for not serving wine. But... There wasn't money for both. Sure, yell at Michael for not using his extra money to get some much-needed plates. But he wouldn't have had that money if he had purchased wineglasses, so there's no way they could have fixed both problems. Gail reiterates what a huge freaking deal THE TELLTALE OLIVE PIT is. Ilan's meatball was good, but his service was lacking enthusiasm. Sam's dessert sucked.

Lalalina is dismissed, and Sam sends in M.E.C. Marcel asks how it went, and Sam gives an ambiguous answer, because he has no idea. Ilan fondles a meat cleaver like a psycho. M.E.C. comes out to the Judges' Table. Padma tells them that there is no winner tonight, and that a chef from either team could be eliminated. Elia takes credit for the diner idea. Marcel claims the chicken. Cliff shakes his head, which Ptom notes. Elia pipes up that the sauce on the chicken was Cliff's, and Cliff tells Marcel that it sounds an awful lot like he's trying to take full credit. Which it does. He wisely notes that taking credit for the chicken may not turn out to be to anyone's advantage. Marcel revises his statement by saying he was in charge of cooking the chicken. Ptom happily informs the team that the judges hated pretty much everything about it. The judges ask about the tempura vegetables, and Marcel again takes credit, though he's notably more anxious about doing so now. The judges compliment it. There are minor complaints about Elia's burger, with some diners writing that it tasted more like meatloaf than a burger. A meatloaf burger sounds great to me, but whatever. Cliff says he wanted the challenge of working in the front of the house, and chooses not to say if he thinks he did well or not. Heh. His service is criticized roundly. He's asked if he thinks he should go home, and he says no. Mike snappishly asks who should go, and Cliff snappishly tells him to "choose one of them" while nodding at his teammates. I don't know how I felt about that. One the one hand, off-handedly not caring which of his teammates is axed is kind of assy. On the other, he's just neatly avoided having to single someone out. M.E.C. is dismissed.

The chefs dither in the Kitchen. The judges dither over who sucked the most tonight. Cliff's service was rotten. Ilan may have done the bulk of the work. Sam's dessert was awful. Marcel's chicken fell short, but the tempura was good. Elia had a good idea, and while she didn't blow the judges away, she at least took it upon herself to make dessert. Michael apparently didn't do a damn thing but shop incompetently. Ptom brings up his omnipresent suspicion that the chefs aren't trying to win; just skate by. I don't know, I think he was right the last time he said that, but it looked like both teams were putting out plenty of effort tonight. They just didn't perform well. The judges make a decision.

Commercials. Dreamgirls. Rocked.

Elimination. All six chefs are brought out. Elia took a risk, and is told that she's safe. Ilan carried the weight of the team. He's safe. Marcel also did the bulk of the work, and his tempura redeemed his awful chicken. He's safe. That leaves Cliff and his service issues, Sam and his dessert issues, and Michael and his...everything issues. Ptom gets the sense that the team needed to carry Michael, and he's pretty much had it. Michael. Please pack your knives and go. He tells the judges that it's been fun. Padma tells him to take care. He comes back to the Kitchen to bid everyone good-bye. Marcel tells him that it's been a pleasure. Aw. He interviews that he doesn't have any regrets. He had some good times, some great experiences, and made some crazy dishes he'd never normally make. Heh. See, that's how to conduct yourself in a final interview, Betty. He calls himself humble, which everyone knows you're not allowed to do, but makes up for it by cutely comparing himself to Wilbur in Charlotte's Web. Not a bad allusion. The pig depends on someone else's intelligence to save him from oblivion. But I kid. Michael was certainly out of his league on this show, but I find myself watching him go with a certain amount of affection.

Overall Grade: C