The Girl Who Is A True Miss Diva

America's Next Top Model - Season 6, Episode 3

Wow, am I glad I didn't pick this season to talk up Top Model. On the other hand, I don't have to worry about spending a bunch of time each week recapping the episodes. Hey, I like to look on the bright side of things.

Tonight, as according to the tradition, is makeover episode. Some of the girls wind up looking way better (see: Furonda). Some of the girls wind up looking far worse (see: Jade). Some of the girls would be pretty no matter what you did to them (see: Nnenna), and some are going to be hopelessly fug no matter how hard you try to spruce them up (see: Brooke).

Jade spends the entire episode being a bitch, as expected, though she has every right to complain about her shitty makeover. As opposed to other reality show villains, where you hate them just like you're supposed to, Jade is so over-the-top-evil as to be completely laughable. How angry can you be at someone that pitiable? Also, Wendy is sad. Because she lost so much in Hurricane Katrina. Which makes her sad. Due to Hurricane Katrina. Hence the sadness. Have you not picked up on the fact that she's sad? Because I'd be happy to harp on it as many times as the show did: a.k.a. two million. But she didn't get in on a pity vote! Right, Tyra?

Aside from that, Furonda passes out a list of "house rules" that cause the other girls to justifiably laugh in her face. Naima shows up looking really, really rough to shill cosmetics. Nnenna continues to rock the house by winning another challenge, then picking Gina and Jade as her co-winners to hopefully promote friendship between them. Nnenna is my new best friend. An ice-themed photoshoot reduces the girls (who have -2% body fat) to shivering messes, which OJ just can't understand wrapped up in his ugly, furry parka, not to mention his warming aura of self-satisfaction. Troll.

At the end, Jade predictably pisses off the judges by blaming everything but the current moon phase for her excrable performance, but it's far too early to boot the villain, so big-nosed, fried-hair, sad-faced Wendy is given her walking papers. Whatever. She never should have been cast in the first place.

Overall Grade: C-