Black and White

Project Runway - Season 3, Episode 10

Previously on Project Runway: Vincent got eliminated. True, there were a lot of other things to fill the hour, but we don't have to care about those. Vincent got eliminated! Vincent! Woooooo! Five designers remain. Who will be out tonight?

Opening credits. Laura was faaaaaaabulously glamorous. Until, of course, pregnancy intervened.

Atlas. The guys are happy that they're in the final five. Kayne interviews that all of them deserve to be in the top five. Laura and Uli talk about the former's near elimination last week. She's shaken up by it, but wants to focus and get to the final three. Everyone wanders off to the runway. Heidi comes out and asks if they're ready for their next challenge. Everyone's always, like, "Bring it on!". I wish one of these times, someone would say "Actually, no. Can you give us a day or two to catch up on sleep?". Heidi tells them they won't get their challenge on the runway, but at a party later, at which there will be some special guests that will be an important part of the challenge. The designers are well-seasoned in the traps that Heidi springs on them by now, so there's no more of this "Oooh...a party!" attitude going around. They know they're in for a mindfuck. Especially since I notice that nobody chose models. They're just disappearing left and right!

Evening. The designers walk into a club and pop some champagne for a toast, which I swear they do about every thirteen minutes this season. Everyone clinks glasses. I hope that's cider in your glass, preggo! The designers discuss who they think the special guests are going to be, which you'd think they'd have done before the party. Heh, I'll bet they came here straight from the runway, despite the passage-of-time shots. Kayne thinks it's going to be Destiny's Child, which is at least a step up from when he thought the glamorous jetsetter they'd be designing for was going to be Tara freaking Reid. Heidi comes in and tells everyone that she'll be introducing the two special guests, and then the challenge. Enter Special Guest #1 -- Vincent. Jeez, he's like a rash you can't get rid of. He trips all over himself walking over to Heidi. Uli says "Aw, a real person!" which is so adorable. Neither the designers nor he know what's going on. But before we can get to that, please welcome Special Guest #2 -- Angela. Hahahaha! The look on Jeffrey's face will keep me happy and warm for a long time. Angela looks even more bewildered than she did when she was a contestant, and is, of course, wearing another fucking hideous bubble skirt.

Heidi finally lets us in on the advantages to winning earlier challenges (which both Vincent and Angela did). Turns out they get a second chance in the competition. Wow. They're back in. All of the other designers would have been given the same second chance, had they been eliminated. Except for Laura, who has inexplicably never won one yet. Everyone's shocked, including Vincent and Angela. Kayne downs his champagne in one gulp, which was a little too showy to be funny. Since I can't just say "the designers think", since they've now been split into two camps, I'm calling Vincent and Angela the Ghost Designers. Kayne refers to them as cockroaches. Uli says that the party was officially over once they found out the Ghost Designers were coming back. Heidi tells the Ghost Designers that they have to win this upcoming challenge in order to remain in the competition. If they do not win, they're automatically ejected again. At this point, I settle down a little bit, secure in the knowledge that there isn't a snowball's chance in hell either one of them can pull this off, unless the challenge is "Throw together the tackiest outfit you can imagine." So there will be a total of three eliminations tonight. The Ghost Designers are thrilled. They join the others to hear about the next challenge.

The challenge will be to design a cocktail party outfit, using only black and white fabric. Shot of Uli. Hehehe. The strange disappearance of the models is finally explained, as Heidi tells everyone they will use the models they had in the last challenge, so Cassandra and Jia are coming back. Heidi leaves, and the models come in. They mingle. Michael becomes the first of the many designers this hour to overreact to the three-elimination announcement, so we'll talk about it here. Even if they seriously consider Angela or Vincent a threat to win the challenge, they've got a free boot. One of the Ghost Designers is automatically going to be out, so it's not a triple elimination. At worst, it'll be a double elimination, and again, that's only if Basket Hat or Bubble Skirt wins. So yeah, I get why they're nervous about the whole thing, but there's no need to freak out to this extent. Uli tells Lindsay that it'll be really embarrassing if she goes out before Angela. Hahahaha! Bitchy Uli is funny. In an interview, Jeffrey basically shrugs the Ghost Designers off, saying that he doesn't have to like that they're back, but "the good news is..." He trails off and stares into space. Mark your calendars. Jeffrey just cracked me up. Cassandra and Angela clink glasses. Don't get your hopes up, Cassandra.

Night falls. Morning dawns at the Atlas. Kayne insincerely welcomes Vincent back. Vincent says he's excited to make the cocktail dress in the most unemotional, deadpan voice I've ever heard out of him. Angela tells Laura that she didn't care so much when she was eliminated, but now she's charged. She wants to make final three. Laura tells her that Angela's win was a team win, so it doesn't seem quite so fair that Angela gets to come back. Ouch! I mean, it's true, but that's one of those things one saves for the interviews, Laura. Angela takes it better than I would, simply saying that she disagrees. Laura persists that Angela didn't win the challenge on her own, and Angela says that design is what matters in the fashion world, not construction. There's a shot of Laura looking unconvinced, and there are flashback scenes to Michael and Laura coming up with ideas that Angela rode to victory. It snaps back to Laura still looking thoughtful. Heh, they should have just gone whole-hog and done the wavy line flashback dissolve, like in Scooby Doo. She interviews that Angela's team members carried a whole lot more weight than Angela thinks. Angela says that everyone else is going to be thinking the same thing, and Laura pulls no punches as she agrees. Man. I can understand Laura not being wild about having to compete against people she thought she had already beaten, but if she feels so strongly that Angela is a talentless hack, why get so worked up about her return? If she sucks, she won't win. If she doesn't win, she's out. I'm not saying she should stop interviewing bitchy things about other designers, because that's awesome. I'm just not thrilled to see yet another round of Let's Shred Angela To Her Face.

Workroom. Tim gathers the designers. He tells them that since everyone's using the same color palette, everything will be resting on the design and silhouette of the outfit. Makeup and styling of the model will also be very important. Fifteen minutes to sketch, one day to complete the outfit, and $100 budget. Angela asks if they have to use both black and white, or if they can choose one or the other. Tim responds that they have to use both colors. Everyone wanders off to sketch. Kayne and Laura are going to try and address judges' previous critiques. Kayne interviews that he's going to do a very "edited" cocktail dress, while Laura is going to do a "youthful silhouette". She says that she's beginning to doubt herself more and more. Tim comes into to get everyone for fabric shopping, and drops yet another bomb on them. The designers must work every bit of fabric that they purchase into the outfit. They can't have any leftover scraps. Jaws drop. Laura interviews that it will be crucial to not buy even an extra inch of fabric. Jeffrey opts for a more succinct "What the fuck?".

Commercials. Sean Penn yells a lot in his new movie. I know, I'm shocked too.

Mood. Kayne recaps the challenge. Except he says that the designers have to use black or white fabric. Time to fire up the Schoolhouse Rock DVD and force Kayne to enjoy a little "Conjunction Junction". Jeffrey interviews that everyone has to be smart about fabric purchase, because while they don't want extra, they also don't want to run out. Is Jeffrey feeling OK? He's been completely rational and tolerable so far tonight. Vincent runs around wildly. Laura measures fabric. Angela switches out one shade of white for another. Uli picks up yet another wacky print. Back at the workroom, there are 11 hours until the deadline. Kayne refers to the Ghost Designers by interviewing that Heidi has allowed two "heifers" to come back. Yeowch. I can't wait until the reunion show. Michael's working on a fairly simple asymmetrical white dress, and says he'll make a cummerbund for it. Angela says she's making a leather shrug with an Eduardian collar. No, really. Jeffrey says something about a minidress. He pins his name on last week's winning outfit. He wants to win a third challenge, not least of which because his win last week "pissed everybody off". Um, no it didn't. The other designers actually didn't seem to care that much, but I guess that won't fly in a universe where everything revolves around Jeffrey. I had to open my fat mouth about how non-annoying he was being. Way to go, me. Vincent says that the people at the fabric store gave him an extra half-yard of one of his fabrics. It's pretty telling that right off the bat, I'm suspicious that the fabric store people messed up, rather than Vincent. They just randomly tossed in an extra half-yard? Doubtful. He's upset.

Eight and a half hours left. Work montage. While Angela's off in the sewing room, Jeffrey tells the other designers that he never wanted to see her again, then laughs as if that's totally hilarious. Dude, nobody cares. They didn't take your side when you were an ass to her mom, they didn't take your side when you openly insulted her for no apparent reason, and they're not taking your side now. Uli tries to head off another stupid tantrum by kidding that Jeffrey and Uli herself will be the eliminated designers this week. Vincent passive-aggressively says that people's true natures are becoming apparent. Laura has no patience for that shit, and asks him point-blank if he feels that people are treating him poorly now that he's been eliminated and has come back. He refuses to give a straight answer, because he's a pussy. Not a pussy is Michael, who is trying to gently talk Kayne down from what he feels is a bad outfit. The entire thing is black, and it's a mini, so Michael thinks it's looking a little hookerish. He tries to tell Kayne all of this without hurting his feelings, which is nice. Kayne asks for an honest opinion of a belt, and Michael says "It cheapens your dress." Michael is awesome. Kayne is worried. A bit later, Tim comes in to tell everyone that they'll have half an hour right now to do some preliminary fitting with the models. Camilla and Laura discuss how to make her dress look youthful. Laura says that both of them were shocked at last week's judging, and doesn't seem put off by Camilla's suggestions. Imagine how Jeffrey would react if Marilinda were like, "How can we improve on this?". Laura's confidence is still very shaken.

Commercials. Zach Braff is full of self-doubt about his place in the world in his new movie. I know, I'm shocked too.

Tim gathers the designers and models, and... Ugh. It's Collier Strong again. Listen, I have no doubt he's a very talented makeup artist. He's probably also a really nice guy. But every time he shows up, it's just a signal that we're in for an abominably boring, product placement filler segment used only to shill cosmetics. And hey! It's an abominably boring, product placement filler segment used only to shill cosmetics! I'm not bothering to go over his conversations with the designers.

Three hours left. Tim makes the rounds. He likes Uli's dress, but notes she has a lot of extra fabric. She says that she'll ball it up and use it to make a necklace. Clever. Tim warns her not to make a necklace that will distract from the rest of the dress. Vincent is wishy-washy about creating a shawl to use up his extra fabric. Jeffrey tells Tim he's making tights out of some shiny black fabric that sort of looks like leather. Tim asks if the tights will dress down the rest of the outfit (presumably because women don't go to cocktail parties in fucking tights). Jeffrey considers this. Tim asks Kayne where his white fabric is, because there isn't any. Kayne holds up a white belt and asks if it counts as a fabric. I'm pretty sure Tim's "Oh, Jesus" is all the response we'll ever need. He's also not wild about Michael's cummerbund or the fact that his dress is semi-translucent. Angela talks about ruching the sides of her dress with elastic. Tim tells her she's being awfully ambitious, and that for now, she should focus just on what she has to do. And now, Laura. Hoo boy. She just tells Tim straight out that she doesn't know if the judges will like it, and that she can't exhaust herself "designing for the Olsen twins". Heh. Even when she's upset, she's wonderfully matter-of-fact. She begins to break down as she says that she was so sure she had done a good job in the last challenge, and that she was just blindsided by being in the bottom two. She goes on to say that she wanted to make a big career change in her life, but that it's becoming too exhausting. She likes the dress she's made, but is just trying to focus on this one challenge right now. Tim assures her that she'll work it out.

Two hours. Vincent interviews that he had no choice but to make a scarf to use up the extra fabric. After a quick work montage, time runs out. Night! Morning! Laura feels a little better after getting a video message from her husband and the kids. She continues to concentrate on getting through this single challenge. Uli thinks this will be the most exciting elimination to date. Kayne admits to "dropping the ball" on this challenge, but as usual, he still loves his dress. At the workroom, Tim tells everyone they'll have two hours to finish up and get the models ready. Michael is wearing a red paisley blazer that only he can bring off. Tim reminds the designers that any scrap of fabric bigger than a postcard must be used. There is some surprising news as Tim tells Vincent that Jia has had an accident. To his credit, Vincent's initial reaction is to be worried about her instead of what this means for his outfit. Tim tells him that they've brought in Javi, one of the eliminated models. Vincent doesn't remember her at all. He's worried that there's no seam allowance in his outfit.

The models come in. Kayne has added a single white ribbon to the back of his dress. I'm thinking that's not going to fly. Jeffrey tempts Fate by telling Marilinda that his outfit's going to win again. Well, of course. Because as always, everyone else's sucks. Kayne interviews that Jeffrey's outfit was costumey and cheap-looking. Kayne. Interviewed that someone else's outfit was costumey and cheap-looking. And he's right. Ask the question "Would this outfit look better with leggings?" a hundred times, and 99 of those times, the correct answer is "No." This ain't the exception. Laura went a different direction with her silhouette, but has no idea how it will be received by the judges. Javi is a little meatier than Jia, so she's having trouble fitting into Vincent's outfit. The models go into makeup. Laura tells the makeup artist that she wants Camilla to look young, then rolls her eyes, because she knows how silly it is that she has to obsess about this crap. Heh. As Javi gets made up, Vincent starts to sew her into the dress. Yeek. With five minutes left, Tim comes in to check and make sure people don't have fabric left over. Most people just shoved them in purses, which is such a cop-out. Everyone heads to the runway.

Commercials. Jessica Simpson is a well-meaning, yet somewhat doofy girl in her new movie. I know, I'm shocked too.

Runway. Heidi comes out in a fairly ugly outfit and recaps the challenge, talking about how people get "second chances" in the world of fashion. Michael Kors and Nina are on hand to judge, and our guest judge this week is designer Zac Posen, who looks about twenty-two years old. If there's ever a movie about Zac Posen, it'll be a crime if he's not played by Ben Savage, and that's all I'll say about that. Let's hit it!

First up is Clarissa, in Angela's dress. It's tacky. The dress is black and backless, and has a lot of those frills along the edge. The black leather shrug is accented by a foofy white collar, and guess what's on the bustline. A granny circle? Ding ding ding! Next is Amanda, in Kayne's dress. The front is just this mass of black fabric. I mean, I know he was accused of throwing everything but the kitchen sink into his outfits, but I don't think the answer to that is something that looks like a solid black x-ray smock. There is some action in the back. The dress is backless, and there is a ring of white ribbon that pulls the black components of the outfit together. I don't know that I like it, but it is interesting.

Next is Camilla, in Laura's dress. It's beautiful. I think the original fabric is white, but Laura has crafted extremely intricate black detail as the overlay. The bustline and cuffs have scalloped rings which are a little iffy, but there's a little frill of black at the bottom that is super cute. Next is Nazri, in Michael's dress. It's well-crafted, but boring. It's an asymmetrical, off-the-shoulder white dress, with a shiny black cummerbund that has some sort of unidentifiable black detail on it. I think it may be flower shapes. The cummerbund is too wide for my tastes, and it just looks to me like he didn't put much imagination into this. Next is Marilinda, in Jeffrey's dress. I do like the fabric choice. The top has polka dots in ascending sizes and the bottom is a checkerboard pattern. The top has a lacy frill that would look better without the shoulder straps, and the miniskirt is cute, but not at all appropriate for a cocktail party. There's no need to even go into the faux-leather leggings, which look ridiculous. Next is Lindsay, in Uli's outfit. It's adorable, but I can see where the judges think Uli is one-note. The wacky black and white print has been made into a short, but flowing hippie dress with wide-cuffed sleeves. The extra fabric has been fashioned into a ball necklace, which I feel Uli deserves about a hundred bonus points for, seeing how easy it would have been to shove her extra fabric in a purse and call it a day. Finally, we have Javi, in Vincent's dress. Fitting issues aside, this isn't attractive. It's a plain white top and a plain black bottom. In fact, Vincent's lucky he had to make a scarf to accentuate the outfit, because it would be the most boring thing on the planet otherwise.

The designers step onto the runway. The models emerge. The judges start with Michael. They all love his outfit of course, because he's totally going to win the season, so even his less remarkable outfits are going to draw raves. Aha! I was right about the floral shapes on the cummerbund. One thing I do agree with is that Nina says Michael always thinks about the complete look, from hair and makeup to earrings and such. He does really know how to complement his garments well. He used the extra fabric to line his purse, which is better than just stowing it there, I guess. Vincent. Nina hates his outfit, and the judges all think it looks too short and cheap. They also hate the shawl, and when Vincent tries to defend it by saying that that's where the extra fabric had to go, Zac has him hold the shawl up to the bottom of the skirt. It makes it look like the skirt is longer, and thus, more elegant. Good one, Zac. Uli. The judges don't like the necklace, or the fact that the dress' sleeves are so long. Uli says she wanted the sleeves to be level with the bottom hem of the skirt, but it does look better when she pulls them up.

Angela explains her outfit. The judges feel it's costumey (if I had a nickel for every time that word was uttered on this show...), and that her tactic of stuffing the purse with fabric straps was unnecessary, given the stiffness of the purse itself. Jeffrey. Michael Kors thinks it looks cheap. Black leather leggings cheap? Get the hell out! Zac feels that it doesn't really work on either the chic, sophisticated level or on the rock and roll level. Nina finally nails him for being one-note, which he is. People never get tired of saying that about Laura or Uli, but this is the first time that someone's taken Jeffrey to task for his constant "deconstruction". Thank you, Nina. Laura. She used her extra fabric to make a matching purse. Cool! The judges love it, and say that the outfit is more youthful than ones Laura has done in the past. Kayne. He explains that he wanted to show an edited dress, but the judges still don't like it. Zac thinks the front is nice, but the back is poor. Nina doesn't like that he used minimal white. The designers are sent off.

Deliberations. Angela had a vampire ruffled shrug. Heh. Michael has flawless presentation. Vincent is wacky and had poor proportions. Jeffrey's was loud. Zac likes the ease of Uli's dress, but Nina says that they keep getting the same dress in different versions, which I can't really argue with. Kayne tried to adapt, but failed at it. Laura maintained her own point of view, but grew as a designer. A decision is made. The designers are brought back out.

This week's nice thing about someone I don't like: All of the people I couldn't stand in high school had the good grace to not come to the ten-year reunion. Whew. That evening was far less awkward than it could have been.

Elimination. We start with this week's winner. Congratulations... Laura. Yay! Michael offers additional congratulations as she leaves the runway. Since we're coming down to the end, she doesn't get immunity, a nifty prize, or any second chances. The only thing she accomplished by winning was the welcome double-booting we're about to witness. Thanks, Laura! Angela...you're out! Vincent...you're out! Whee! Michael is in. Uli is in. That leaves Kayne and Jeffrey. Kayne didn't use the colors he was supposed to, and his taste level still isn't up to par. Jeffrey's outfit looked cheap and he's all edge, with no elegance. Kayne. Is. Out. Jeffrey leaves the runway, and Uli hugs him backstage. Ew, Uli. Don't do that. Heidi gives Kayne the double kiss. He thanks her for the opportunity. In his final interview, he says that he doesn't want to be a seamstress all his life. Uli calls him "our sunshine". He's proud of what he can do and what he's shown, "dirty laundry" and all. He tells us he's not really a bitch, he just plays one on TV. Never too early to start looking good to potential employers. He leaves a good-bye note that's longer than the Dead Sea scrolls pinned to his dress in the workroom. Aw, he was fun. But he's definitely leaving at the right time.

We get a short postscript about Jia, who was injured in a bicycle accident, but is all better and back to modeling now. Yay! And she never has to model another Vincent creation again. Double yay! Next week on Project Runway: The next challenge determines the final three. Michael is stuck on something. Uli is predictable. Laura is told not to bore Nina. Tim makes an announcement that makes Jeffrey happy, so whatever it is? I hate it already.

Overall Grade: A-