Franco American

Top Chef - Season 6, Episode 4

Previously on Top Chef: AMERRRRRRRRRRRRRRICA! The chefs had to work with limited ingredients and equipment. Mike tossed a salad he didn't even care about. Ew, not like that, perv. Michael won the challenge, Mike got pissed that the food he makes actually gets judged, and Preeti got eliminated for her insistence on being a perfectly nice, normal person. Fourteen chefs remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

Opening credits. No viewing party this week, so it was just LabRat and I. That did free me up to make something that doesn't have to travel well, so we had some veggies, rice, and a terrific honey-mustard salmon that is deceptively simple.

Monday Morning Quarterback session. Mike doesn't think he should have been on the bottom in the last challenge, because he's been on the top of every other challenge but one. Erm, no. Leaving aside the easily-destroyed argument that once someone is considered for a win, they must never qualify for Losers' Table, he's still wrong. He was in the top group for the first Elimination Challenge, but hasn't been there since. He rode the other men's coattails to his "win" in the bachelor/bachelorette challenge (in which the judges hated his food), and rode Michael's coattails to his "win" in the Air Force challenge (in which the judges hated his food). Nice try, though. Meanwhile, Robin frets because the first three eliminated contestants were all female, and worries that the boys are going to get swelled heads.

Quickfire Challenge. The chefs go to Daniel Boulud's restaurant, where they are met by Ptom and Daniel Boulud himself, sitting in as guest judge this week. Ptom begins an introduction to French food, and how it's always been popular in the United States. Mattin is already grinning, sure he's got any French food challenge in the bag. The one French ingredient that has yet to really catch on here in the States is escargot. Jenc agrees that snail is difficult to cook well, and whoever first looked at one and thought "Yum!" must have been really fucking hungry. And how. Same goes for lobster and sea urchin. Today, the chefs' challenge is to make a dish using snail as the main protein. Daniel cautions that it must also be a new twist on escargot, so whatever is considered a "normal" snail dish is out the window. This is one of those high-stakes Quickfires, which means big news for both the winner and the loser. The winner gets immunity and another advantage that we'll get to later. The loser gets eliminated on the spot. A whole new layer of anxiety settles over the chefs. Ptom starts the forty-five minute countdown, and they all scatter.

Snail murder ensues. Mike is going for a Greek feel to his dish, because snail is a delicacy in Crete. I'm certainly not surprised that he wants to emulate a Cretan. Ba-zing! Kevin explains to us that snail doesn't taste like much of anything, so the background flavors must be boosted by other ingredients. Hector wants to marry escargot with Carribean flavors. Robin accidentally steals Ron's ingredients. She's anxious, having never worked with snail before, and fearing elimination. Over at the other end of the anxiety spectrum, Mattin doesn't have a care in the world. Jesse attempts to escape her sinkhole of despair. People plate up, and time runs out.

The chefs come out in small groups to present their dishes to Ptom and Daniel. Ron has made a French-style snail with caramelized shallots, alcohol, veggies, and some herbs. Jenc has grilled ramps, brussels sprouts, mushrooms, and yuzu with sauteed snail. Jesse has done a play on BLT called an "ELT", consisting of escargot and mache, with fried tomato as the "bread". If nothing else, it's very clever. Laurine has made lemon risotto with sauteed escargot, spinach, a parsley pesto, and some garlic butter. I have to say, I don't know how any of this tastes, but I have yet to see a dish of Laurine's that didn't at least sound really good. She and I are in sync, food-wise. Hector has paired Carribean escargot with pickled mushrooms. He and I are not in sync, food-wise. Robin has done a play off of bagels, lox, and cream cheese. Preach it, sista! I'll see you at shul for High Holidays! You know, if either of us feels like going or is at least guilted into it by our parents. Her plate includes poached escargot with marmalade, gooseberries, and rye toast.

Mattin has made fava bean toast with sauteed escargot, a regional pepper, and anise. Ew. Anise taints everything, but mix it with a pepper, and I'll bet it's even worse. Ashley has made soup and salad, and seems to have just plopped the snail into it. Kevin wanted to do a snail fricassee, and has paired it with mushrooms, brussels sprouts, and for something a little more interesting, a candied bacon jam. Intriguing. Bryan has a fermented garlic, butter-poached escargot with red wine risotto, a spinach emulsion, and some almond froth. Bryan seems like a nice guy and a competent chef, but his food sure leans towards the frou-frou. Michael has braised his snail in veal jus, and serves it with mushrooms and lasagna noodles. Mike has sauteed snail over potato garlic puree, some broth made with ouzo, and a little spring onion, lemon, and olive oil. Sounds good. That's all the dishes we see, and the chefs shuffle out nervously to hear the results.

For obvious reasons, we start with the favorites this time, instead of the bottom-dwellers. Mike's Greek preparation, Kevin's bacon jam, and Jenc's yuzu have elevated them to the top. Jeez, I have nothing against Mike being in the top for this one (his food really did look good), but if anyone gets to brag about ruling challenges, he should look over at the other two. The ultimate winner turns out to be... Kevin. He's happy with the win, and the validation it gives his down-home-flavor techniques. Now, to the bottom three. Jesse is required by law to be in the bottom group, and she's joined by Ashley and Robin. So, woman, woman, and woman. Looks like Robin's fears were well-founded. Rather than just cutting someone right away, Ptom sends the three of them back to the kitchen, giving them twenty minutes to whip together an amuse bouche to save themselves.

They cook. Time runs out. Oddly, all of them have made three plates for two judges. Who's getting that third one? Robin has made a mini avocado soup with yuzu, green apple, mustard relish, and crab. Jesse has a tuna tartare with sorrel, gooseberries, fried bread, and a fried quail egg on top. Ashley has thrown together some foie gras with pineapple, tarragon, and ramps. Foie gras with pineapple? Your ideas interest me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter. Robin's soup was good, but could have used more crab. Jesse's tartare could have used some spice. Ashley's foie gras needed to be cut a little thicker. Fairly minor criticisms, all.

Commercials. Go on the web to learn the winning Quickfire dish. Good idea. Let me pull out my escargot. I just need to move my liquid nitrogen tank out of the way first.

It's time for someone to go home, and to nobody's surprise, it's Jesse. It's almost the merciful thing to do at this point. She's upset and embarrassed to have been on the bottom of the heap yet again, and wants us all to know that she doesn't suck this bad when she's at home. I have no trouble believing it. Cooking skill doesn't equate to skill in marathon speed challenges with weird parameters. Ashley is relieved that she wasn't the one to go, but is using this experience to build her reputation, and being in the bottom sure doesn't help that. Jenc says that with four women in a row being eliminated, the rest of them have to step it up.

Elimination Challenge. Everyone but Kevin will draw a knife from the knife block. Six of them draw classic French sauces, and six of them draw classic French proteins. Mike is stressed, because he has no experience in French cooking. His worry is understandable, but I wish he wouldn't waggle his tongue around like that. It's fairly nasty. Ptom tells the sauce chefs and the protein chefs to pair up to create a six-course meal. Mattin is happy, because this challenge is almost tailor-made to his skills. Of course, so was the escargot challenge, and I don't remember hearing his name up in the winners' circle. I'm sure I must have just been distracted.

The chefs will be cooking for some of the biggest names in French cuisine, none of whom I've ever heard of (except for Hubert Keller, and that's because of this show). That's not a knock against them or their reputations; I'm just interested in a wide range of food styles, and tend not to concentrate on the Names within that style. I get that Americans view classic French techniques as the Holy Grail of the culinary world, but frankly, I feel Asian, Mediterranean, Latin, etc. can be just as valid and sophisticated. The contestants don't feel the same way. They're blown away by the Names they'll be serving. Michael says this may be the most important plate of food he's ever cooked. The chefs will have two hours to cook in the Kitchen, and an additional one hour of prep time on-site. As the winner of the Quickfire, Kevin is not only excused from cooking, but gets to eat with the rest of the diners. It sounds wonderful, though LabRat points out that if the ultimate goal of these chefs is to get important industry people to eat their food, Kevin's missing out on a potentially big opportunity. Oh, well. Who am I to intrude on his happiness?

Ptom gives the chefs ten minutes to pair up. I wonder why Padma's not covering this challenge. Did she have a shampoo or Hardee's commercial to film? Sorry, I'm still not over her snotty attitude from last week. I'll let it go now. Anyhow, the chefs pair up to be Michael/Jenc, Eli/Laurine, Ashley/Mattin, Hector/Ash, Mike/Bryan, and Ron/Robin. The individual proteins and sauces are all thrown at us in kind of a mouth-garbling mess, so we'll leave those alone for now. Everyone heads to the store for half an hour of shopping time with a $200 budget. Ashley suggests asparagus, which Mattin vetoes, saying it doesn't go with their sauce. He'd rather flavor the sauce with bacon. He is, after all, the French One, and must know best. Robin talks and talks and talks and talks, while Ron shops stoically. He tells us that she has a bunch of ideas that veer wildly away from classic French cooking, so he hopes his frog legs and her sauce are judged separately. Sibling rivalry interviews from Michael and Bryan. Zzzzz.

Back in the Kitchen, the chefs spring into their two hours of prep time. Lobster murder ensues. There's been more death in this episode of Top Chef than your average Dexter. Michael butchers rabbits. Ashley massages Mattin's ego about how awesome French food is. He's the French One, you know. Bryan explains his method for cooking trout to Mike. Mike doesn't seem to care that much, concentrating on his bearnaise sauce. He's never made it before, and works with Bryan's guidance to make a deconstructed sauce with all of the ingredients separated. Man, in six seasons, I don't think I've ever seen a contestant indulge in this much coattail-riding. Robin talks and talks and talks and talks. Ron's brain floats away to his Happy Place. As the time winds down, everyone packs up their food for transport.

Interstitial. Mattin drunkenly celebrates his birthday in a very Europy bathing suit.

The next morning, the chefs try to work the butterflies out of their stomachs, without much success. The Names are striking intense fear into their hearts. Ancient Greeks watching this show from Heaven are all like "Damn, we didn't quake this much when Zeus came down to kill or impregnate us." Everyone except Kevin heads to the MGM Grand where they'll be doing their final hour of prep and serving. Robin talks and talks and talks and talks. Ron escapes her and interviews that while he may be trained in French cuisine, French people and Haitian people don't have a great history of getting along. Mike works on his sauce, and begins to back out of the idea when it doesn't come together right away. Bryan tells him to just heat it more, and that they'll be fine.

Eli and Laurine are working with lobster and a sauce that Eli equates to lobster bisque. Yes, please! Laurine tells us that lobster is tough to cook well, as it's easy to overcook it into a rubbery mess. Mattin works on his veloute, hoping to stand out with his use of bacon. Ashley lets him take the lead on their overall plate, but she's extremely nervous about the whole thing. Jenc and Michael fly along on their rabbit with a chasseur. Hector is in charge of the chateaubriand, with Ash making an au poivre (peppercorn) sauce. Hector worries that the meat isn't cooking fast enough. Meanwhile, the judges, Names, an interpreter, and Kevin get seated in the dining room. Ron and Robin get their food plated. Eli makes fun of them in an interview.

Commercials. Yeesh. Top Chef may be the sole watchable show on Bravo this season.

Padma introduces everyone at the table to Ron and Robin, who are serving the first course. The Names seem genuinely pleased to be here. Let's get eating! Ron's frog legs are covered by Robin's meuniere sauce (brown butter, lemon, and parsley). They're served with a lemon confit, some mache, and an arugula salad with fried capers. The judges allow that frog legs are a difficult protein, but find them over-floured and overcooked. The Head Name (Joel Robuchon - who speaks in French throughout) finds the frog leg flavor masked by the sauce. Mike and Bryan are the second course, with warm cured trout and the deconstructed bearnaise sauce. The Names find everything to be simple, yet impressively sophisticated. I'm glad they don't take the time to air both the Head Name's original French critique and the interpreter's English translation of it, but the resulting French-with-subtitles makes it look like everyone at the table speaks fluent French, which is kind of hilarious.

Eli and Laurine go out with the third course, which is the lobster with the bisque-like "Americaine" sauce, a cauliflower puree, and a touch of raw cauliflower on top. In general, it goes over well, but loses some points on the details. The lobster is a bit tough and the sauce isn't as flavorful as it should be. Still, it's not bad for a couple of American rubes who don't know which end of the Eiffel Tower is up. Ashley and Mattin are the fourth course. They've made seared poussin (young chicken) with the veloute sauce, some ravioli, and green asparagus. Ashley's poussin is bland, while the bacon overpowered Mattin's sauce.

Michael and Jenc are the fifth course, with rabbit and the chasseur sauce. It's paired with a little mustard noodle and shiso leaf. The judges like it a lot, saying Michael and Jenc avoided the easy trap of tough meat, and that it's a very "mature" dish overall. Back in the kitchen, Hector does not have enough time to finish cooking the meat, let it rest, carve it, and get it on the plate. So the meat gets up to the proper temperature, but doesn't rest, is cut quickly and sloppily, and Ash doesn't get a lot of sauce on the plates before time runs out. Yipes. Their peppercorn steak is served with apple confit and spinach. As expected, the judges find their plates unrefined, messy, and light on sauce.

The Names enjoy the meal overall, and Gail posits that in no other season would they have had this good of a meal at this point in the competition. I just looked back at Episode Four in all of the previous seasons, and have to agree. Back at the main Kitchen, the chefs sit for their fret 'n sweat. Kevin enters to wait it out with them. They grill him about what the Names liked and disliked, but he's very non-committal. He's either being diplomatic, or more likely, is being forced by the producers to keep the judges' opinions secret.

Commercials. I covet the pared-down glasses these people drink from in the 64-calorie beer ads.

Judges' Table. Padma comes back to the Kitchen, and summons Michael/Jenc and Bryan/Mike to the table. What, no Mattin? But he's French! Padma informs the four chefs that they had the two best dishes of the night, and the four of them just stand there, presumably waiting for some other shoe to drop. Padma and Ptom have to remind them that this is a good thing. Bryan and Mike are roundly complimented on both the sauce and the fish. Michael and Jenc are too, but in this case, there's a healthy side helping of sexual tension.

LabRat: "As soon as the cameras are off, they are going to do it."

Daniel gets to announce the challenge's winner, and it's Bryan, for both his food and his advanced ideas about technique. His prize is to work at the Head Name's restaurant for a week. Awesome. Next time he wins, his prize can be to clean my bathroom. Padma asks the chefs to send the losers out. Mattin, Ashley, Hector, and Ash are the unlucky group. Ashley's poussin was dry and heavy. Mattin's sauce was more of a gravy than a veloute, and his use of bacon is questioned. He shrugs that he hasn't made a veloute in a long time. But the Frenchness! Ashley's asparagus didn't add much, and the judges suggest maybe having done an asparagus veloute, because they're psychic. They always say that they don't see any of the behind-the-scenes stuff, and only judge on the food that's presented to them. This is what's known as "bullshit". Ashley says the idea of an asparagus veloute did come up, and Ptom assumes that Mattin shot it down. He denies it, which may not be an outright lie, but is certainly closer to false than true. Nothing is ever made of this maneuver of his, which is weird. Hector and Ash's problems were apparent. Their time issue led to not enough sauce, not enough resting, and not enough care taken with the carving.

Deliberations. Padma says that a case could be made for someone from either team going home. Thank you for that invaluable contribution. Hector's poor timing cannot be overlooked, especially since he had the simplest protein to work with out of anybody. Ash's sauce was pretty much fine, if minimal. Ashley's ravioli was too thick, her meat was dry, and she refused to sell Mattin out. Ah, shades of last week. How unwelcome. Mattin had a chance to shine in his area of expertise, and just didn't make a proper sauce. Here is the point where I'd normally sneer at Ptom for dictating to a French person how to make a French sauce, but Mattin really did seem to skitter off the rails tonight. The judges make a decision.

Elimination. This one isn't very suspenseful, which is fine. It's not the show's fault that one person messed up so much worse than everyone else. If you can't cook a basic steak, you can't move on, and so it's Hector that will be taking the long walk tonight. He's disappointed that he won't be able to stick around to represent himself and his people. It's true that with him gone, Ron's the only one left keeping this from being the whitest season ever. Hector thinks he maybe shouldn't have changed his style to meet time restrictions or the judges' tastes. Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. Eve stayed true to her roots, and look what happened to her. Fortunately, Hector seems more on the ball, and his workaholic nature will serve both as a cushion for the disappointment and a focus for what to do next. Bon voyage!

Overall Grade: B+