Let's Name Our Chicken Phil

The Amazing Race - Season 12, Episode 4

Previously on The Amazing Race: Ronald got a hernia, which is bad news for his comfort and racing ability, but good news in that he became less likely to rail at his daughter. The teams traveled to Burkina Faso, where they were schooled by camels before being schooled in an actual school. Azaria and Hendekea approached each task calmly and thoughtfully, and surged into the lead. Funny how that works. Lorena and Jason (Lorena, anyway) approached each task loudly and hysterically, and sank to last place. Funny how that works. Julia very helpfully gave Lorena the advice she needed to pass the sisters, leading to their sad, but very deserved elimination. Eight teams remain. Who will be eliminated next?

Opening credits. Jason and Lorena skip happily through the forest. The scene where she encounters a ladybug and breaks down into wrenching sobs must have been edited out.

There was a town in Burkina Faso, and Bingo was its name-o. The local kids play and dance, as Phil explains that Burkina Faso is coming into its own, as far as hosting international festivals of art, music, and filmmaking. Wow, really? That's pretty cool. I accidentally listen to Phil's Opening Blather, which is just as suspense-killing as I remember. Crud. Azaria and Hendekea's arrival time isn't mentioned, so this may be one of those weird pitstops that's not twelve hours long. In any event, they get their first clue at 7:58 AM. Rrrrrrrip! It tells them to follow a marked path to another small village, where they will need to find the tribal chief. He has a difficult name they don't bother to subtitle, so Tribal Chief it is. Phil explains to us that the chief will hand over the next clue, along with a "customary gift of generosity". That's meant to be very mysterious, and perhaps would have been, if they hadn't inserted a crowing rooster sound. Really, show. Suspense. It's a good thing.

Teams aren't getting any money for this leg of the race. Whee! Azaria says that Hendekea has physical limitations. "Physical limitations, like I'm a [blurred word]," she replies. Ooh, I wonder what went there. Something that relates to "a gimp leg". My guess? Retard. They easily find Tribal Chief, and he directs them to select a nearby chicken and stuff it into a mesh bag. Hendekea picks a docile one, and it goes into the bag with no trouble. Tribal Chief hands over the next clue. Rrrrrrrip! Teams must now travel a hundred miles by taxi to the town of Bouda Pelegtanga, where the next clue awaits. Also, teams must keep their chicken with them at all times to successfully complete the leg. Oh, it's like that school project where they make you babysit a sack of flour for a week. Only this bag of flour is a lot more noisy, and prone to pooping. Unless there's a thriving industry in transporting people three hundred feet across Bingo that I don't know about, it looks like taxis have been provided. Azaria and Henkedea hop into one, and Azaria asks Hendekea what he can do to make her move faster. She snaps that she's going as fast as she can. Yeah, it's not like she's slacking. You'd think an engineer would know something about why the taller teammate moves faster.

TK and Rachel leave the mat at 8:12 AM. TK says that if they put too much pressure on themselves, they'll start screwing up, so they're going to keep on being as calm as possible. Nathan and Jennifer leave the mat at 8:13 AM. Jennifer notes that since they've placed in the top three in the past couple of legs, getting first place is not beyond their reach. Certainly not if other teams politely step aside and give Queen Jennifer her due. Uh, spoiler. In other distressing news, Nathan is wearing black socks with shorts. Kynt and Vyxsin leave the mat at 8:14 AM. Kynt says that they're both very sincere, genuine people, despite what you might think when faced with their Goth exterior. Given that they act about as Gothic as a Girl Scout bake sale, I think the denizens of the world can manage. Ronald and Christina are off at 8:15 AM. They're happy with the way both their relationship and their race placement are improving. Nicolas and Donald leave at 8:16 AM. Nicolas says that Donald's life experience is a "great pool to draw from". Unfortunately, that pool has one of those "NO RUNNING" signs spray-painted on the edge, and Donald can't keep up with the jogging pace that Nicolas has set.

Wacky music plays as this knot of teams goes to grab their chickens. TK and Rachel have no problem, but Nathan and Jennifer's flaps its way out of the bag. A nearby little boy giggles in delight. Hehe. They work it out, and both teams grab taxis. TK encourages Rachel to give his chicken a smooch. No, not like that, perv. Azaria and Hendekea are still enjoying the beauty of Africa. They've traveled to Ethiopia before, and Hendekea says the people in Africa are "always so happy and friendly and warm". Let's not go nuts. It's insulting to act all "Ewww! Poor people!" like the IBs last week, but I'm not sure it's much less insulting to treat the entire continent like the It's A Small World ride. Vyxsin, Ronald, and Donald grab chickens, then cabs. Ronald lets his "good chicken" partway out of the bag, and it rewards him by pecking him in the hand. Meanwhile, the IBs are leaving the mat at 8:38 AM. IB#1 says that they're equal partners in the team, and that they'll both speak their minds. As will the chicken they try to stuff into the bag. He makes a narrow escape, but they manage to trap another one. In the cab, IB#1 gives us the titular quote, as their rooster's comb is very reminiscent of Phil's spiky, wet hair last week. There's a hilarious flashback for the forgetful.

Azaria and Hendekea pull up at Bouda Pelegtanga, and Hendekea darts off to take a quick pee break. This somehow pisses Azaria off (so to speak), because I guess Hendekea should have trained herself not to expel any liquid before coming on the race. Damn her and her functioning kidneys! Since she's off squeezing the Charmin, Nathan/Jennifer and TK/Rachel get to the cluebox first. Rrrrrrrip! Detour! Shake Your Pan or Shake Your Booty. In Shake Your Pan, teams head over to a gold mining pit and use "local methods" to pan for a minimum of one ounce of gold. I'm glad we're traveling to exotic locations and such, but their "local method" is exactly the same as ours. Is there more than one way to pan for gold? It'd be like using the "local method" to tie your shoe. Once the team has enough gold, they can turn it in for the next clue. Phil says that although the task is physically demanding, the outcome is measured objectively. An ounce is an ounce.

In Shake Your Booty, teams "learn" a traditional local dance, then perform it for a panel of "local celebrities" and a large crowd of onlookers. Why, yes. This is a shameless ploy to remind people of American Idol. Nice catch. The dance must also incorporate some creative dance moves, so basically, the team can just get out there and do whatever they want. If the judges are impressed, the team gets a clue. If they're not, the team has to sit and wait for ten minutes before getting a clue. The people demonstrating the dance are dressed up in body-encompassing costumes, and it's a shame they don't force the contestants to wear them. Phil warns that the outcome of this task is subjective. Eh, this is kind of weak. Panning for gold will take a while no matter what, and there's nothing stopping a team from simply choosing Shake Your Booty, intentionally sucking, and taking a ten-minute breather. They may not even lose any time on the other teams, and have accomplished nothing in the meantime. Bleh.

Anyhow, Nathan and Jennifer know a lot about making themselves look foolish in front of a large audience, so they pick Shake Your Booty, as do TK and Rachel. Azaria and Hendekea get the Detour clue and choose the same thing. Remember Lorena and Jason? They're just now leaving the mat at 10:07 AM. Lorena says that yesterday was tough, but she's hoping to keep her cool and work her way back up to the front of the pack. Hope springs eternal. THEY PLEDGE NOT TO GIVE UP. Sorry, I don't mean to yell at you, but they will repeat this sentiment approximately four hundred trillion times over the next forty minutes, so we must be sure you understand that THEY WON'T GIVE UP. Nicolas and Donald's taxi passes Kynt and Vyxsin, who Nicolas refers to as "The Pinkies". Heh. That's way more apt than "The Goths". Jason snags a chicken. He and Lorena hop in their taxi, and now there's nothing to do but hope a team ahead of them screws up, somehow. It's certainly been known to happen. Ronald and Christina pass the Pinkies. The curse of the slow cab driver! You never know when it will strike.

Nathan and Jennifer learn their dance moves. It's a lot of stomping and thrusting poles into the ground. Jennifer's danced for the LA Clippers, and she tries to coach Nathan along. They walk out into the Circle of Judgement. They stomp. They thrust their poles. The music would have us know that a nearby costumed dancer is unimpressed. More stomping. A local laughs heartily at how dumb they look. Azaria and Hendekea practice on the sidelines. Nathan and Jennifer finish their dance, and just in case you thought they didn't do too badly, the editors help you out by inserting cricket noises. One of the judges tells them they had no creativity, which is true. They sure stomped a lot, but I didn't see them add anything extra. Jennifer is disappointed, because a ten-minute penalty could "cost [them] first place". Let's stick a little bookmark in this moment. Nicolas and Donald reach the Detour, and choose Shake Your Pan. After the sweet dance moves Donald broke out last week? Christina tells us that Ronald is a really wild dancer, so they head for Shake Your Booty. On the walk over, Christina advises him to smile the whole time. Rub some Vaseline on your teeth! Make a rambling speech about U.S. Americans!

After ten seconds of instruction, TK and Rachel have decided the dance is too difficult, and they ditch to go mine for gold. Ooh, big mistake. Performance tasks on this show rarely have to be any good. They just would have had to go out there, be enthusiastic, and throw in a couple of original moves. They'd have been passed in a heartbeat. TK and Rachel wander off in no particular direction, as is their wont. Nicolas and Donald reach the mining pits. Azaria and Hendekea dance, and although it doesn't look appreciably different from Nathan and Jennifer's, they're passed. They thank the judges and get their clue, and Jennifer's perma-bitchface deepens. Nathan complains that they're not in first place anymore. You mean the first place you were in for five minutes because Hendekea had to pee? Yeah, I wouldn't be too proud of that.

Azaria and Hendekea open their clue. Rrrrrrrip! They must now make their way on foot to the Pelegtanga Market to find the next cluebox. Oh, and "Caution: U-Turn ahead". Oh, a new race twist? What will it be? Something cool, like the Intersection, or something irritating, like the Yield? Let's find out! Phil explains that there are only two U-Turns on the race, and a team may only use it once. A U-Turn forces a team behind you to go back and complete the Detour option that they haven't already done. Ooh, twisted! I'm not a huge fan of race aspects that allow someone to screw over another team (I'm a reward merit and punish incompetence kind of guy -- If you're fast and smart, you're first. If you're slow and/or dumb, you come in last and are eliminated). Still, I much prefer this kind of interference to the Yield, because the U-Turned team will only be limited by how well they complete the other task, and aren't just waiting out the clock.

Azaria and Hendekea grab their chicken and take off. The Pinkies reach the Detour and choose Shake Your Booty. Nathan and Jennifer's penalty time runs out, and they get the clue that sends them to Pelegtanga Market. Azaria and Hendekea choose to pass the U-Turn without using it, and the market's cluebox is nearby. Rrrrrrrip! Teams must now take a taxi to another market: Tampouy Goat Market, on the outskirts of Ouagadougou. Their taxi driver seems to know exactly where it is. TK and Rachel are still wandering around, looking for the gold mining pits. They could have danced three times by now. Nicolas and Donald make good progress on the gold. Ronald and Christina dance, and interpret the "shake your booty" Detour title very literally. The locals laugh at them. Nicolas and Donald think they have enough gold. Ronald and Christina are told their "free creativity" was not very good, and they step to the side to wait out their ten-minute penalty. Nicolas and Donald's gold is approved, so they tore through that Detour pretty damn quick. They pick up their chicken and leave, meeting TK and Rachel on their way out, and telling them that it's no sweat.

Nathan and Jennifer choose not to U-Turn anybody, get their clue, and head for the goat market. The IBs reach the Detour, and naturally choose Shake Your Booty. Jason and Lorena's cab is still way behind, and they pass the time by bonding with their chicken. TK and Rachel aren't finding any gold, because they refuse to actually get down into the pit, and are just sort of swiping at the surface of the muck. They're also trying to sift through the rubble with their hands instead of rinsing it off so they can see the gold. Sigh. The Pinkies dance. Kynt improvises some impressive rod-twirling moves that are very ninja-esque. Vyxsin stomps in the background, and the two of them end their dance with very dramatic poses. The crowd applauds, and they easily pass the Circle of Judgement. Nicolas and Donald have gone in the wrong direction. They're lucky TK and Rachel are around, or it'd be their trademark. "We're clueless!" Nicolas exclaims, as he clutches...the clue. The Pinkies choose not to U-Turn anybody. In the taxi, Kynt says that the African people they've met have been very warm and welcoming. Vyxsin cradles the chicken like a baby. Hehe. Ronald and Christina's penalty time runs out, and they manage to reach the U-Turn just ahead of Nicolas and Donald. Neither team uses it, and they grab taxis to the goat market.

TK is finally dredging up some gold. The IBs are "dancing". That is to say, they're crawling on the ground so that IB#2 can show plenty of boob. They also do some sort of snake-charmer-waist-wiggle. They finish, and await the judges' decision. TK and Rachel turn in their gold, and get their clue. The IBs miraculously pass the Circle of Judgement.

LabRat: "Well, at least nobody can say Azaria and Hendekea got through on the race card, because these two sucked."

The IBs get their clue, and spot the Pelegtanga Market. TK and Rachel also see it, but won't be able to catch up in time. IB#1 prepares to use the U-Turn, although IB#2 doesn't want to. "It's a game. They understand it, and they would absolutely do it to us." Thank you. Like I said, I generally don't enjoy teams throwing a wrench into each others' works, but if the U-Turn or the Yield is part of the game, it's not rude or unfair to use it, and it's very unwise to ignore it. TK prays the IBs don't U-Turn them. The IBs prepare to do the deed.

Commercials. I have to say, I really enjoy this "Things You Can Do With One Finger" ad, even if I'll never be wealthy enough to worry about private brokers.

The IBs don't realize TK and Rachel have slipped so far, and think Jason and Lorena are the team behind them. So they U-Turn Jason and Lorena. IB#2 is crabbing that it's "wrong", but IB#1 makes the same point I just did. The U-Turn is part of the game. If a game allows you to send someone back three spaces, or make them fork over a lot of pink rent money, or declare that they're not allowed to talk until someone says their full name, then you're not being mean, because you both knew this was a possible outcome when you agreed to abide by the game's rules. And if we set aside morality for a moment, this was the wisest thing the IBs could have done at this point. They know Jason and Lorena are trailing. They know Jason and Lorena have come in first in a previous leg. The more you can make a struggling team bleed time, the better the chances are that they'll be eliminated, and improve your chances in the competition. In fact, anyone who used the U-Turn at this point would have done well to pick Jason and Lorena. If you U-Turn someone right behind you, you may knock them down a place or two, but they'll still be in the race, and out for revenge. Knocking out the last-place team is the best move, especially for the IBs, who are in sixth place, and may very well need this U-Turn to survive.

They paste up the pictures of themselves and of Jason and Lorena, complimenting their own picture as they run for the clue. TK and Rachel reach the U-Turn, and are relieved to see what's happened. TK interviews that the IBs made a bad strategic move, because it'll put "a target on their back". BZZZT! Stop making me take IB#1's side so much! They did what they thought they had to do to stay in the race. It was not only a reasonable choice, it was the smart one, and the only way it'd put a target on their backs is if Jason and Lorena can make up three tasks' worth of time on everyone. It's not impossible, but it sure is unlikely. The IBs bicker about the U-Turn choice as they run for the taxi. IB#1 says she doesn't want to be out of the game so that they could act nice towards a competitor. Seriously, IB#2. Why don't you ask Julia how that worked out for her? The IBs and TK/Rachel get into their taxis. IB#1 tells the camera that she knows Jason and Lorena will hate them, but they had no choice. She says she loves Jason and Lorena, but U-Turning them was the smartest thing to do. No argument here. IB#2 brings up bad karma, and IB#1 makes another good point (stop it!) by saying that there is no bad karma in a game. As long as you're following the rules, you're not being evil.

Jason and Lorena reach the Detour, and choose Shake Your Booty. Azaria and Hendekea see three or four goats crammed into a small basket on the back of a motorcycle. Eesh. Those poor things. Nathan and Jennifer see a similar motorcycle basket crammed with chickens. Azaria and Hendekea reach the market, jump out of the taxi, and grab the clue. Rrrrrrrip! Roadblock! "Who's ready for a juggling act?" Phil explains that in this Roadblock, the chosen team member has to load up a bicycle with an unwieldy amount of supplies, including a live goat. Then they have to ride the bike to deliver the goods to a vendor, who will hand over the next clue. Azaria takes it on. Nathan and Jennifer aren't far behind, and Jennifer takes the Roadblock. Azaria reads off the list of supplies: three African print blankets, a free-standing plant, two big, yellow jugs, a bundle of sticks, two tea kettles, two rings of twine, and the aforementioned goat in a laundry basket. The Roadblockers get started by picking out goats. Azaria forces the twine rings over his own head. Jennifer kindly apologizes to her goat as she straps him down. "Is this too tight?" she asks. "BAAAAAAAAA!" the goat bleats unhappily. Aw.

Jason and Lorena do a dance that includes a lot of squatting. Lorena says she's always loved dancing, and Jason adds that the dance floor is where he first fell in love with her. That's sweet. Lorena grins. She's spent so much time howling that I don't think I've had time to say how pretty she is, but when she's not a hopeless emotional wreck, she's really attractive. They finish, and the judges tell them their dance was very good. Off they go! TK and Rachel's taxi passes the IBs'. The IBs stress about doing well at the Roadblock. Speaking of which, Azaria and Jennifer finish loading their supplies, and begin asking around for directions to the correct vendor. As Jennifer and an onlooker consult her clue, her goat raises his head and tries to take a corner of it off. Hahaha! Both of the Roadblockers get guides, and I guess they don't really have to ride the bikes to get credit for the task, because they're just walking them.

The next group of teams arrives at the Roadblock. Vyxsin takes it on, as do Christina and Nicolas. They make their way over to the pile of supplies. Jason and Lorena are discovering that they've been U-Turned, and are understandably not thrilled with the situation. They head back to pan for gold, and are still hoping to catch up. I'm all for powering through a tough task no matter how grim the outlook seems. Jennifer is rudely snapping "faster!" at the locals. She's having trouble finding the vendor, because she doesn't speak "a lick of French". Azaria does speak a little, so he manages to track the vendor down. As he drops off his supplies, Jennifer finds her vendor. Azaria gets his clue. Rrrrrrrip! Teams must now take a taxi to the pitstop, the Hotel de Ville in Ouagadougou. I suppose the teams will be going someplace new next week, and I'm going to miss hearing the word "Ouagadougou" so much. Phil reminds us that teams must check in with "chicken in hand". Hehe. And no matter how healthy a team's chicken is, last one to the mat is a rotten egg.

Jennifer gets her clue. Azaria and Hendekea haul ass to their taxi. Jennifer is tired from the task, so she and Nathan are walking. They're still hot on Azaria and Hendekea's trail, though, and Azaria tries to impart to their driver that he doesn't want to get passed. Nathan tries to hug and congratulate Jennifer on a job well done, but she feels sweaty and gross, and shrugs him off. Lorena and Jason tear through Shake Your Pan. Why couldn't they have been this nice and functional in the other legs? Ronald begins lecturing Christina again (in Chinese, no less) about how to load the bike, but when she asks him to back off, he does. Progress! Vyxsin has problems keeping her bike righted, which is pretty integral to the whole load-things-onto-it process. Nicolas is able to ride his loaded bicycle. Impressive. Christina walks with hers. Jason and Lorena find wads of gold. TK/Rachel and the IBs reach the Roadblock, and Rachel and IB#1 take it on. They get started, and TK guilts IB#2 about using the U-Turn. She actually buys into the idea that it was a strategic mistake. Oh, for crying out loud. This is what Galileo must have felt like as he tried to explain the whole heliocentrism thing. Jason and Lorena are done with the gold. THEY'RE NOT GIVING UP.

Commercials. Sorry those slutty twins didn't deliver your pizza, kid. Maybe next time.

Nicolas and Christina look for their vendors. Vyxsin continues to wrestle with her bike. Rachel and IB#1 have issues tying the jugs onto the back of theirs. Jason and Lorena are now free to head for the Roadblock. THEY'RE NOT GIVING UP. Vyxsin's finally done loading, and rides off to look for her vendor. She's struck by the conditions surrounding her, particularly the piles of garbage on the side of the road. A pack of kids willingly leads her towards the vendors. It's very heartwarming. No, really. Rachel has to fix one of her knots. IB#1 apologizes to her unhappy goat, wary of getting bitten. Azaria leans out of the window of his taxi to wave at Nathan and Jennifer, which is such blatant Fate-tempting, I'm surprised they didn't blow a tire on the spot. Azaria tells Hendekea to focus her mind. She's like "Yeah. Run for the mat. Consider it understood." Both teams approach the Hotel de Ville. It's a sprint to the mat! Azaria and Hendekea are in the lead. Azaria drops something, which Nathan gleefully yells out. Azaria somehow fails to care, and keeps running.

And then, oh how I wish I were making this up, Jennifer screams out "Come ON, you guys! You've got first three times! [which, no they haven't]". It's like I've fallen through the looking glass. What the holy fuck is up with these people and their twisted senses of morality? This is The Amazing Race, not The Amazing Share. In this alternate universe, when you play a game, you play to lose. You should willingly help opposing teams through tough tasks, never use game-allowed penalties on someone else, and graciously allow others to pass you, as long as they ask. See, this is what happens when you start giving ribbons to every kid that enters the science fair. Thankfully, Azaria and Hendekea realize that this isn't kindergarten, and beat Nathan and Jennifer to the mat by about a second. The greeter welcomes everyone, and Phil ascertains that both teams have their chickens. They do, so Phil announces that Azaria and Hendekea are team number one, and have won motor scooters. Nathan and Jennifer are team two. Jennifer is frustrated because "everyone should have their time" to come in first, and Azaria and Hendekea have "already had their time". I highlight the word competition in the nearest dictionary and chuck it at Jennifer's head. Hendekea somehow finds a polite way to say "Um, blow it out your ass, princess".

IB#1 and Rachel are still madly loading down their bikes. Nicolas finds his vendor, gets the clue, and pats Christina's head on his way back. Heh. Christina soon finds her vendor as well. Vyxsin rides by a pile of fish with flies swarming all over it. She finds her vendor. Jason and Lorena AREN'T GIVING UP. Rachel finishes loading, and stuffs the clue in her bra. Ha! It's the little things that make this show great. She rides off. Nicolas, Christina, and Vyxsin return to get their taxis, and the IBs worry that things aren't looking good for them. I guess we're not supposed to notice that things would be looking even worse if they hadn't U-Turned Jason and Lorena. Now that Vyxsin has time to think, the weight of the poor conditions that the people around her must live in closes in on her, and she begins to cry. You can tell that Kynt has absolutely no idea how to handle this, but he comforts her as best he can. Rachel looks for her vendor, as does IB#1, who must have finished loading at some point. Jason and Lorena AREN'T GIVING UP. IB#2 frets that they're going to catch up. IB#1 and Rachel flail. Jason and Lorena stay firm in their resolve to NEVER GIVE UP.

Commercials. If I ever feel compelled to start keeping sorrowful diary entries about my joint pain, I will have officially become the most boring person on the planet.

Jason doesn't want to lose the race because of a "stupid U-Turn". Sorry, but that's not quite what has happened; it's pretty much the same situation as Double D. Yes, the U-Turn put you into a bad position, but you weren't exactly kicking ass when it came along. Rachel and IB#1 continue to hunt for their vendors. Meanwhile, it's another sprint to the mat! This time, it's between Ronald/Christina and Nicolas/Donald. Although Ronald's hernia is causing him significant pain, Nicolas and Donald manage to walk in the wrong direction again, giving Ronald and Christina the edge to check in (with their chicken, natch) as team three, their highest placement so far. Nicolas and Donald stroll to the mat and check in as team four (ditto). Nicolas gives Christina a low five and puts his arm on her shoulder. I guess he doesn't know that he's supposed to be whining about how she should have stood aside and let him and Donald check in first. Both teams are thrilled to be "climbing the ladder".

Rachel and IB#1 finally find their vendors. They get their clues, and head back. Well, IB#1 heads back. In the grand tradition of TK and Rachel not being particularly good at knowing where they're going, Rachel doesn't know where she's going. She walks in the wrong direction. IB#1 makes it back, and TK asks if she's seen Rachel. She has, but is pretty certain Rachel is heading in the wrong direction. Rachel has no clue where she is. Jason and Lorena AREN'T GIVING UP. The Pinkies and their chicken check in as team five. Phil asks them what the reaction to their makeup and outfits has been, and they praise how tolerant the locals are. The greeter smiles gently. Vyxsin calls it a "life-altering" experience, so perhaps she's rethinking how important that glitter eyeshadow is in the grand scheme of things. She has a very cool interview, in which she says that while she and Kynt are of course focused on doing well in the race, she's not blind, and it's heartbreaking to see such wonderful people have to make do with so little. There's the nice middle ground between "Everything in Africa is wonderful!" and "Ew, stinky Africans!" I was looking for.

Jason and Lorena AREN'T GIVING UP. They pledge to "screw over the blonds". Really? Because the IBs are currently getting screwed over by checking in as team six. Rachel has managed to make it back to her vendor, who points her in the right direction. She finally makes it back to TK, and they leave for the pitstop. If she hadn't gotten so lost, they may well have gotten ahead of the IBs, so tell me again what a huge strategic mistake IB#1 made. Yeah, that's what I thought. So everyone's gone by the time Jason and Lorena make it to the Roadblock. Jason takes it on. THEY AREN'T GIVING UP. We don't spend too much time watching him complete the task, because what's the point, really? He finishes up, and they leave for the pitstop.

TK and Rachel check in as team seven. Rachel seems really surprised, though I don't see why. Lorena cries softly in their taxi. Jason says it's OK, and that they'll make a million dollars another way. Camel farm? Nah, probably not. They smile at each other. They reach the mat with their chicken, and are eliminated. They tell each other they did really well. Phil asks about their future, and Lorena says they'll definitely be staying together. She interviews that the race has given her lots to appreciate, and she can pretty much put the whole marriage idea on hold for a while. They hug, which the chicken between them does not appreciate. Jason asserts that two people can have a "deeper love" when they're not bound by marriage. Not to mention the fact that she can't take half his money. Ah, romance.

Next week on The Amazing Race: Ronald hurts himself at the Detour, as part of his quest to fall apart piece by piece. The IBs bicker, and possibly get knocked into the Great Beyond by a speeding bus. Yikes!

Overall Grade: B