Project Runway - Season 5, Episode 7
I love my Saturn, but I wasn't excited to see yet another extended product placement challenge. In tonight's episode, the designers are tasked with making a garment out of car parts. Though they briefly flirt with carburetor bras and such, most of them eventually settle on more workable materials like seatbelts and floormats. Keith spends the entire episode whining that the judges had the gall to criticize his crappy dress last week, and struggles to tone down his messy -- dare I say, Jeffreyesque -- aesthetic to impress them.
A lot of the designers rise to the innovation needed for this challenge a lot better than they did in the supermarket one. Korto makes a beautiful weaving pattern. Jerell's looks futuristic and stylish. Leanne makes a mini-dress from seat covers and a faux feathered neckline. Very cool. Blayne works on a dress made almost entirely out of seatbelts, which has a lot of potential. Especially for him.
Panny: "It's Saturn-licious!"
On the runway, Jerell, Terri, and Korto are the biggest hits with the viewing party, and indeed, Jerell and Korto join Leanne in the top three. Leanne scores her first win, which makes Korto look just as sour as she did when she took second-place last week. On the flip side, Blayne keeps up his track record by taking his good idea and ruining it with poor fit and odd proportions. He winds up in the bottom three with Keith, whose "cleaner" aesthetic is aimless and boring, and Stella, whose top doesn't match the skirt. Stella's really kind of grown on me, and while it would be delightful to punt Blayne and his bad tan and worse taste back home, I'm fine with the actual elimination. Keith shoots himself in the foot by telling the judges that they're asses for giving his garments such harsh criticism. Has he ever seen an episode of this show before? The judges flick him home like a ball of lint, so maybe we're finally free of nasty fringe for the rest of the season.
Overall Grade: B
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Amazing Race 13 - Meet the Teams
Previously on The Amazing Race: A run of crappy seasons threatened to kill my loyalty towards my favorite reality show (I can actually admit I watch this, while the admission that I watch America's Next Top Model must be made sotto voce and with shifty eyes). A sudden upswing in the fantastic twelfth season renewed my faith, but also set me up for inevitable disappointment in the teams cast for the upcoming thirteenth season (premieres Sunday, September 28, 7PM Central). I love to pre-judge, even though I always wind up being wrong in regards to about half of the teams. Let's really hope I am in this case, because after watching the intro video, one thing leaps out. We've got the potential to have a big pile of douchebags on our hands. Time to ferret out the wastes of perfectly good oxygen! Join me, won't you?
Terence and Sarah: She's cute as a button, but his faux-hawk is ill-advised. I know I've whined about faux-hawks before, but the thing is, Richard and Jennifer were both able to pull theirs off pretty well. Terence's just makes him look dippy. Their web bio doesn't make them look too bad, even if it relies heavily on TAR cliches like "prove to themselves whether they belong together". The tease about "dietary restrictions" is intriguing, too. That said, the intro video does not flatter them. New York is a wonderful place, no doubt, but few things irritate me more than New York Snobbery. The biggest symptom of this obnoxious malady is the assumption that commonplace feelings and events only take place in the Big Apple. Sarah says that being from New York is a "strategic advantage", because they're used to having to live their lives on the run. Oh, they've got busy lives and need to be places on time? Only in New York! See what I mean with that?
Douchebag Alert Level: Moderate
Marisa and Brooke: "What would The Amazing Race be without a team of blonds?" the announcer asks with amused wonder. Rhetorical as the question is, I have several answers: Interesting. Competitive. Smarter. Better. I don't understand this show's fascination with the Dumb, Cannon-Fodder Blond Woman archetype. KanDustin was a remarkable exception that proves the rule: The Amazing Race blond teams, despite their traditional protestations that they're more than plasticized faces with an affinity for pink, are bad racers with inflated senses of self-worth. That may have been a fun dynamic to watch once or twice, but not in every freaking season. These two certainly aren't angling to shed that image. Right there in the web bio is the idiotic assertion that always appears with these teams: "And if they have to do a little flirting along the way, they're not opposed to that, either". Right, because the flirting strategy worked out so well for Heather and Eve. And Megan and Heidi. And Danielle and Dani. And the IBs.
Douchebag Alert Level: Moderate to Extreme
Andrew and Dan: Frat brothers. They seem to be less toolish than your typical TV frat guys, so they've got that going for them. Aside from clearly being too invested in Judd Apatow movies and having goofy majors like "Tourism Management", there's not really much to say about them. This will have to be a wait-and-see team.
Douchebag Alert Level: Mild
Aja and Ty: As mentioned with Terence and Sarah, Amazing Race bios are nothing if not consistent in their use of cliche. We've covered the "use the race to test our relationship" and "flirting with strangers will somehow allow me to scale an ice wall" ones, and now we come to "I'm competitive, which is code for 'I throw an infantile hissyfit the moment things don't go my way'". Of course, Aja and Ty are the only black team in an embarrassingly white-bread season, they seem to mistake "competitive" for "win everything", and they appear at the outset to have nothing in common except for exercise. Sound familiar? I expressed similar disgust with Ray and Yolanda, who turned out to be lovely people and damn fine racers. Let's hope these two will also break free of their unflattering bio.
Douchebag Alert Level: Mild to Moderate
Mark and Bill: Geeks are king right now, and The Amazing Race knows when to jump on a good bandwagon. These two are friends who are into science-fiction and gaming, so you know one of them's got to be a Level 70 Druid based in Darnassus. Uh... I mean... I don't know anything about gaming! That stuff's for dorks! OK, fine. I'll admit I have a slight bias towards these two, as they seem perfectly nice, and I also have a pinch of geek in my patchwork personality. It'll be interesting to see how people with such cerebral interests will fare in such a physical contest.
Douchebag Alert Level: Non-Existent
Toni and Dallas: One of the things that made Season 12 so compelling was the number of family teams, which I generally find a lot more interesting than the endless parade of dysfunctional couples. Unfortunately, there are only two family teams this time, and only one of them appears to want to run a race, rather than to get their mugs on television. And here they are! What's funny about these two is that I know a single mom named Toni and I know a tall, wry guy named Dallas. They've never crossed paths, but it's fun to think about them in the same room. Anyhoo, this Toni and this Dallas appear to have a functional family relationship, which is nice to see, as parent/child teams are often fraught with so much psychological baggage, there's no room for the literal baggage. She says she'll fight the natural tendency to boss her kid around, and he's worried she'll embarrass him on multiple continents. Sounds logical.
Douchebag Alert Level: Non-Existent
Nick and Starr: Here's the other family team, and these siblings are thrilled to be on television. Yay! Millions of people will see their photogenic, smiling faces! Oh, and apparently, they'll be running the race as well. Who could have ever imagined that someone named Starr Spangler would like attention? All of this is pure speculation on my part, of course, and they could turn out to be skillful, intelligent racers. They just have that look of being more interested in the camera than the experience. One part of their bio that really chaps my hide isn't their fault. "Nick performs on the New York stage in an Off-Broadway musical called The Fantasticks, while Starr was a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys for the past three seasons." So, a record-holding show that has run for 48 years needs the qualifier "an Off-Broadway musical called...", but the phrase "a football team called..." is nowhere in sight, for obvious reasons. Damn breeders.
Douchebag Alert Level: Mild
Anita and Arthur: Wowsers. There's not much to say about these two that looking at their photo wouldn't explain. What can I add? Frankly, they look like they'd be a blast to hang out with. Older teams don't have the greatest track record, so I suppose we'll just have to enjoy them while they last.
Douchebag Alert Level: Non-Existent
Kelly and Christy: I would love to see an all-female team win the race. I really would. And I believe that the producers would like to see it as well. Why, then, are teams of such obvious ineptitude constantly foisted upon us? It can't be that difficult to find a smart, able all-female team. Cut it out with the cheerleader/pharmaceutical reps already. In their intro video, all they can find to talk about is their makeup. Literally. Not a word is spoken that is unrelated to cosmetics. These two are practically clones of Kellie and Jamie. Remember them? Me neither.
Douchebag Alert Level: Extreme
Ken and Tina: It's hard to pick the most annoying thing about these asses. The Bickering Couple archetype is never fun, and these two have all the classic signs. They're married but separated, just as many people on this show with severe personality flaws have been. He's cheated on her, but they have no trouble identifying themselves as strong Christians (and ten will get you twenty that they're the Weaver kind of Christian -- not the Golden Rule kind). So she's a nagging shrew and he's an aggressive tool. Let's hope they can work their marriage out. We don't need people like this in the dating pool. Oh, and if Tina's quote that they'll be "touching lives" across the world doesn't make you giggle nastily, you're a better person than I.
Douchebag Alert Level: Extreme
Anthony and Stephanie: If one tiresome, fighting couple isn't enough, have another one! They broke up for a year, but if they make it through the race, Anthony says he'll propose to Stephanie. What a terrific relationship benchmark. In the intro video, they try to pawn off their fighting on their ethnicity, which I didn't accept from Sam, and I won't accept now. At least Ken and Tina are obnoxious and slightly interesting. These two are just plain obnoxious.
Douchebag Alert Level: Extreme
Terence and Sarah: She's cute as a button, but his faux-hawk is ill-advised. I know I've whined about faux-hawks before, but the thing is, Richard and Jennifer were both able to pull theirs off pretty well. Terence's just makes him look dippy. Their web bio doesn't make them look too bad, even if it relies heavily on TAR cliches like "prove to themselves whether they belong together". The tease about "dietary restrictions" is intriguing, too. That said, the intro video does not flatter them. New York is a wonderful place, no doubt, but few things irritate me more than New York Snobbery. The biggest symptom of this obnoxious malady is the assumption that commonplace feelings and events only take place in the Big Apple. Sarah says that being from New York is a "strategic advantage", because they're used to having to live their lives on the run. Oh, they've got busy lives and need to be places on time? Only in New York! See what I mean with that?
Douchebag Alert Level: Moderate
Marisa and Brooke: "What would The Amazing Race be without a team of blonds?" the announcer asks with amused wonder. Rhetorical as the question is, I have several answers: Interesting. Competitive. Smarter. Better. I don't understand this show's fascination with the Dumb, Cannon-Fodder Blond Woman archetype. KanDustin was a remarkable exception that proves the rule: The Amazing Race blond teams, despite their traditional protestations that they're more than plasticized faces with an affinity for pink, are bad racers with inflated senses of self-worth. That may have been a fun dynamic to watch once or twice, but not in every freaking season. These two certainly aren't angling to shed that image. Right there in the web bio is the idiotic assertion that always appears with these teams: "And if they have to do a little flirting along the way, they're not opposed to that, either". Right, because the flirting strategy worked out so well for Heather and Eve. And Megan and Heidi. And Danielle and Dani. And the IBs.
Douchebag Alert Level: Moderate to Extreme
Andrew and Dan: Frat brothers. They seem to be less toolish than your typical TV frat guys, so they've got that going for them. Aside from clearly being too invested in Judd Apatow movies and having goofy majors like "Tourism Management", there's not really much to say about them. This will have to be a wait-and-see team.
Douchebag Alert Level: Mild
Aja and Ty: As mentioned with Terence and Sarah, Amazing Race bios are nothing if not consistent in their use of cliche. We've covered the "use the race to test our relationship" and "flirting with strangers will somehow allow me to scale an ice wall" ones, and now we come to "I'm competitive, which is code for 'I throw an infantile hissyfit the moment things don't go my way'". Of course, Aja and Ty are the only black team in an embarrassingly white-bread season, they seem to mistake "competitive" for "win everything", and they appear at the outset to have nothing in common except for exercise. Sound familiar? I expressed similar disgust with Ray and Yolanda, who turned out to be lovely people and damn fine racers. Let's hope these two will also break free of their unflattering bio.
Douchebag Alert Level: Mild to Moderate
Mark and Bill: Geeks are king right now, and The Amazing Race knows when to jump on a good bandwagon. These two are friends who are into science-fiction and gaming, so you know one of them's got to be a Level 70 Druid based in Darnassus. Uh... I mean... I don't know anything about gaming! That stuff's for dorks! OK, fine. I'll admit I have a slight bias towards these two, as they seem perfectly nice, and I also have a pinch of geek in my patchwork personality. It'll be interesting to see how people with such cerebral interests will fare in such a physical contest.
Douchebag Alert Level: Non-Existent
Toni and Dallas: One of the things that made Season 12 so compelling was the number of family teams, which I generally find a lot more interesting than the endless parade of dysfunctional couples. Unfortunately, there are only two family teams this time, and only one of them appears to want to run a race, rather than to get their mugs on television. And here they are! What's funny about these two is that I know a single mom named Toni and I know a tall, wry guy named Dallas. They've never crossed paths, but it's fun to think about them in the same room. Anyhoo, this Toni and this Dallas appear to have a functional family relationship, which is nice to see, as parent/child teams are often fraught with so much psychological baggage, there's no room for the literal baggage. She says she'll fight the natural tendency to boss her kid around, and he's worried she'll embarrass him on multiple continents. Sounds logical.
Douchebag Alert Level: Non-Existent
Nick and Starr: Here's the other family team, and these siblings are thrilled to be on television. Yay! Millions of people will see their photogenic, smiling faces! Oh, and apparently, they'll be running the race as well. Who could have ever imagined that someone named Starr Spangler would like attention? All of this is pure speculation on my part, of course, and they could turn out to be skillful, intelligent racers. They just have that look of being more interested in the camera than the experience. One part of their bio that really chaps my hide isn't their fault. "Nick performs on the New York stage in an Off-Broadway musical called The Fantasticks, while Starr was a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys for the past three seasons." So, a record-holding show that has run for 48 years needs the qualifier "an Off-Broadway musical called...", but the phrase "a football team called..." is nowhere in sight, for obvious reasons. Damn breeders.
Douchebag Alert Level: Mild
Anita and Arthur: Wowsers. There's not much to say about these two that looking at their photo wouldn't explain. What can I add? Frankly, they look like they'd be a blast to hang out with. Older teams don't have the greatest track record, so I suppose we'll just have to enjoy them while they last.
Douchebag Alert Level: Non-Existent
Kelly and Christy: I would love to see an all-female team win the race. I really would. And I believe that the producers would like to see it as well. Why, then, are teams of such obvious ineptitude constantly foisted upon us? It can't be that difficult to find a smart, able all-female team. Cut it out with the cheerleader/pharmaceutical reps already. In their intro video, all they can find to talk about is their makeup. Literally. Not a word is spoken that is unrelated to cosmetics. These two are practically clones of Kellie and Jamie. Remember them? Me neither.
Douchebag Alert Level: Extreme
Ken and Tina: It's hard to pick the most annoying thing about these asses. The Bickering Couple archetype is never fun, and these two have all the classic signs. They're married but separated, just as many people on this show with severe personality flaws have been. He's cheated on her, but they have no trouble identifying themselves as strong Christians (and ten will get you twenty that they're the Weaver kind of Christian -- not the Golden Rule kind). So she's a nagging shrew and he's an aggressive tool. Let's hope they can work their marriage out. We don't need people like this in the dating pool. Oh, and if Tina's quote that they'll be "touching lives" across the world doesn't make you giggle nastily, you're a better person than I.
Douchebag Alert Level: Extreme
Anthony and Stephanie: If one tiresome, fighting couple isn't enough, have another one! They broke up for a year, but if they make it through the race, Anthony says he'll propose to Stephanie. What a terrific relationship benchmark. In the intro video, they try to pawn off their fighting on their ethnicity, which I didn't accept from Sam, and I won't accept now. At least Ken and Tina are obnoxious and slightly interesting. These two are just plain obnoxious.
Douchebag Alert Level: Extreme
Saturday, August 23, 2008
What a Drag
Project Runway - Season 5, Episode 6
The Amazing Race has gone through a few lackluster seasons, and still managed to pull itself together. Thus, I'm not prepared to write Project Runway off, but DAMN. When was the last interesting episode? The one where Laura accused Jeffrey of cheating? It sure has been a while.
Even tonight, when the delightful challenge is to design a costumey, over-the-top outfit for a drag queen, this group of duds manages to make it dull. The one time the designers are given permission to go completely wild, and are guaranteed not to be told to tone it down, and 80% of them put me to sleep. Yawn. The designers are told to make a drag queen outfit that fits their particular queen's persona. Suede decides to do exactly the opposite. He asks his queen's opinion, then proceeds to not only ignore it, but to take active offense to it. Suede, honey... I've seen your queen decimate one of the most powerful men in gay porn on stage, then send him back to his seat like a puppy. She could take a third-person-spewing reality show wannabe in her sleep.
When they come out onto the runway, most of these dresses don't even rate a mention. I will say that Terri doesn't particularly deserve to be in the top three, which she is, and Jerell doesn't particularly deserve to be in the bottom three, which he is. Still, it turns out not to matter, as both the winner and loser are well-chosen. Joe... You know, the straight one? Yeah, apparently, he was the only guy to actually listen to that whole "make an outfit to fit your client's persona" direction, and creates a Barbie-pink sailor suit that his queen sells the shit out of on the runway. He takes the much-deserved win, along with immunity for next week. Meanwhile, Keith and Daniel join Jerell in the bottom three, and Daniel, who has been circling the drain since Day One, is finally cut loose for making yet another boring cocktail dress. It's about time. He's a "designer" in the way that someone who can only make scrambled eggs is a "chef".
Overall Grade: C+
The Amazing Race has gone through a few lackluster seasons, and still managed to pull itself together. Thus, I'm not prepared to write Project Runway off, but DAMN. When was the last interesting episode? The one where Laura accused Jeffrey of cheating? It sure has been a while.
Even tonight, when the delightful challenge is to design a costumey, over-the-top outfit for a drag queen, this group of duds manages to make it dull. The one time the designers are given permission to go completely wild, and are guaranteed not to be told to tone it down, and 80% of them put me to sleep. Yawn. The designers are told to make a drag queen outfit that fits their particular queen's persona. Suede decides to do exactly the opposite. He asks his queen's opinion, then proceeds to not only ignore it, but to take active offense to it. Suede, honey... I've seen your queen decimate one of the most powerful men in gay porn on stage, then send him back to his seat like a puppy. She could take a third-person-spewing reality show wannabe in her sleep.
When they come out onto the runway, most of these dresses don't even rate a mention. I will say that Terri doesn't particularly deserve to be in the top three, which she is, and Jerell doesn't particularly deserve to be in the bottom three, which he is. Still, it turns out not to matter, as both the winner and loser are well-chosen. Joe... You know, the straight one? Yeah, apparently, he was the only guy to actually listen to that whole "make an outfit to fit your client's persona" direction, and creates a Barbie-pink sailor suit that his queen sells the shit out of on the runway. He takes the much-deserved win, along with immunity for next week. Meanwhile, Keith and Daniel join Jerell in the bottom three, and Daniel, who has been circling the drain since Day One, is finally cut loose for making yet another boring cocktail dress. It's about time. He's a "designer" in the way that someone who can only make scrambled eggs is a "chef".
Overall Grade: C+
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Ew Lagoon
Project Runway - Season 5, Episode 5
This week, the designers are tasked with making a garment for a high-powered, chic woman, whom we already know is Brooke Shields from last week's preview. What we didn't know is that this outfit should be a day-to-evening look for her character on that show that nobody I know watches, and was inexplicably picked up for a second season. The winning designer won't get immunity, but Brooke will wear the outfit on the air, thereby ensuring that the designer's work will be seen by at least thirteen people. As an added "twist", the designers work in teams of two. They all pitch their ideas to Brooke, who then selects six of them to be team leaders.
Blayne is chosen (probably because Brooke is afraid he'll eat her liver if he weren't), and picks Leanne as his teammate. Keith dazzles Brooke with talk of ruffles, and selects Kenley. Terri wows Brooke with pants, and selects Suede. Brooke enjoys Korto's color palette, and Korto picks Joe. Kelli promises a sophisticated top, and picks Daniel. That leaves Jerell with Stella.
As with most team challenges, the kids can't play nice together, though Jerell and Stella are a surprising exception. Korto accuses Joe of backstabbing her to Tim (though they talk it out afterwards). Kelli won't accept Daniel's lopsided mess of a skirt. Terri becomes four kinds of awesome when she questions Suede's genitals and swears that she won't allow him to suckle at her teat. Kenley and her buttoned-down aesthetic try to reign in Keith's preoccupation with flutter. Leanne keeps her mouth shut and allows Blayne to misjudge the entire challenge, as he's done pretty much every week. Something good does come of the conflict, as Joe's concerns convince Korto to pull in a jacket that was looking very Golden Girls - Season 2, and Terri/Suede make some improvements to a top that can only get incrementally better, thanks to some fugly fabric.
Limecrete: "I think it's impossible to make that fabric look good."
Ana Warpath: "Yeah, that's some serious Fashion Bug shit right there."
On the runway, a lot of the looks come out better than expected. Korto and Joe have made their dress look less saggy and shapeless, except around the bustline, which is awful. Kelli and Daniel's is blah. Keith and Kenley's is okay, but I don't think the top and bottom match, color-wise. Terri and Suede's is as good as that nasty fabric can get. Blayne's design is the least tacky thing he's ever made, but it in no way adheres to the challenge. If this week were about beach-wear, he'd be in good shape, but businesswomen attend neither their jobs nor their evening parties in shorts. Jerell and Stella actually pull out a very cool garment, which blows me away, considering they're individually responsible for this:
And this:
In the end, Jerell/Stella and Keith/Kenley are the top two teams, with Keith getting an extremely undeserved win. Kelli and Daniel's outfit is declared a lot tackier than I think it is (though it certainly doesn't wow me), and they wind up in the bottom with Blayne and Leanne. Kelli does her best to get Daniel auf'd, saying that even if the design wasn't to the judges' tastes, she's got a hell of a lot more potential than Daniel (which, yeah). Daniel, sounding more and more like Kip with every passing week, snots that he has impeccable taste, which causes Kenley to crack up with contempt. Awesome. As usual, none of the construction was bad enough to lay the blame on the helpers, so Daniel and Leanne are declared safe. Leave it to Blayne to make his least horrible outfit this week, causing Kelli to be chopped. Boo! Blayne ruins everything.
Overall Grade: B+
This week, the designers are tasked with making a garment for a high-powered, chic woman, whom we already know is Brooke Shields from last week's preview. What we didn't know is that this outfit should be a day-to-evening look for her character on that show that nobody I know watches, and was inexplicably picked up for a second season. The winning designer won't get immunity, but Brooke will wear the outfit on the air, thereby ensuring that the designer's work will be seen by at least thirteen people. As an added "twist", the designers work in teams of two. They all pitch their ideas to Brooke, who then selects six of them to be team leaders.
Blayne is chosen (probably because Brooke is afraid he'll eat her liver if he weren't), and picks Leanne as his teammate. Keith dazzles Brooke with talk of ruffles, and selects Kenley. Terri wows Brooke with pants, and selects Suede. Brooke enjoys Korto's color palette, and Korto picks Joe. Kelli promises a sophisticated top, and picks Daniel. That leaves Jerell with Stella.
As with most team challenges, the kids can't play nice together, though Jerell and Stella are a surprising exception. Korto accuses Joe of backstabbing her to Tim (though they talk it out afterwards). Kelli won't accept Daniel's lopsided mess of a skirt. Terri becomes four kinds of awesome when she questions Suede's genitals and swears that she won't allow him to suckle at her teat. Kenley and her buttoned-down aesthetic try to reign in Keith's preoccupation with flutter. Leanne keeps her mouth shut and allows Blayne to misjudge the entire challenge, as he's done pretty much every week. Something good does come of the conflict, as Joe's concerns convince Korto to pull in a jacket that was looking very Golden Girls - Season 2, and Terri/Suede make some improvements to a top that can only get incrementally better, thanks to some fugly fabric.
Limecrete: "I think it's impossible to make that fabric look good."
Ana Warpath: "Yeah, that's some serious Fashion Bug shit right there."
On the runway, a lot of the looks come out better than expected. Korto and Joe have made their dress look less saggy and shapeless, except around the bustline, which is awful. Kelli and Daniel's is blah. Keith and Kenley's is okay, but I don't think the top and bottom match, color-wise. Terri and Suede's is as good as that nasty fabric can get. Blayne's design is the least tacky thing he's ever made, but it in no way adheres to the challenge. If this week were about beach-wear, he'd be in good shape, but businesswomen attend neither their jobs nor their evening parties in shorts. Jerell and Stella actually pull out a very cool garment, which blows me away, considering they're individually responsible for this:
And this:
In the end, Jerell/Stella and Keith/Kenley are the top two teams, with Keith getting an extremely undeserved win. Kelli and Daniel's outfit is declared a lot tackier than I think it is (though it certainly doesn't wow me), and they wind up in the bottom with Blayne and Leanne. Kelli does her best to get Daniel auf'd, saying that even if the design wasn't to the judges' tastes, she's got a hell of a lot more potential than Daniel (which, yeah). Daniel, sounding more and more like Kip with every passing week, snots that he has impeccable taste, which causes Kenley to crack up with contempt. Awesome. As usual, none of the construction was bad enough to lay the blame on the helpers, so Daniel and Leanne are declared safe. Leave it to Blayne to make his least horrible outfit this week, causing Kelli to be chopped. Boo! Blayne ruins everything.
Overall Grade: B+
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Passing the Torch
Project Runway - Season 5, Episode 4
The bad news is that Timiffany's DVR cut off the first fifteen minutes of this episode. The good news is that it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. The gist of this one is easily picked up. The designers are tasked with making an outfit suitable for United States athletes to wear at the Olympic opening ceremonies. Based on some of the garments we'll see later, some of the designers were apparently composing their grocery lists or thinking about how much they like pudding instead of listening.
Our viewing party joins the episode in the middle of a bunch of people whining about Kenley's annoying laugh. Normally, I'd be on her side on this one, but I've worked in offices with laughers; it really does get old quickly. Korto tells us about her background, and while her story of leaving Liberia with her family is touching, it's certainly no Laotian family prison. That dispensed with, Joe snipes at Daniel for threading one of the sewing machines with red thread. I've never understood why each designer doesn't just get their own machine that nobody else can use without permission, but then I guess we wouldn't get scintillating scenes like this one. So Joe yells at Daniel for not psychically divining which machine Joe uses. Daniel fails to fall over himself to apologize, so Joe goes into the workroom and gossips about how horrible Daniel is for this, having the temerity to give a world-weary sigh about all the drama the gay designers create. Um...Joe? The only fit-throwing priss I see right now is you.
Standouts on the runway include Korto, Keith, and Terri. We pause for a while on Terri's garment, as it looks like either her model's boobs have been shoved sideways, or her nipples have been digitally erased. A lot of designers, such as Kelli, make pretty clothing that is completely unsuitable for the challenge; I doubt our nation's athletes are going to stride into the opening ceremonies in cocktail dresses. Joe, unsurprisingly, takes the sports aspect more seriously, and winds up in the top three, along with Terri and Korto. Korto wins the challenge and immunity.
Daniel's dress isn't athletic in the least, and his saturated blue fabric comes off as purple on the runway. Jennifer makezzz..... Jerell's outfit is downright hideous. Yes, the one he's wearing, but especially the one he's made. It'd be like describing the Olympics to the Little House on the Prairie characters, and asking them to make a dress based on what they've just heard. Though I wouldn't be sad to see him go, Jennifer's reign of bland cannot be ignored any longer, and she gets the heave-ho. I've already forgotten her.
Overall Grade: B-
The bad news is that Timiffany's DVR cut off the first fifteen minutes of this episode. The good news is that it doesn't seem to make much of a difference. The gist of this one is easily picked up. The designers are tasked with making an outfit suitable for United States athletes to wear at the Olympic opening ceremonies. Based on some of the garments we'll see later, some of the designers were apparently composing their grocery lists or thinking about how much they like pudding instead of listening.
Our viewing party joins the episode in the middle of a bunch of people whining about Kenley's annoying laugh. Normally, I'd be on her side on this one, but I've worked in offices with laughers; it really does get old quickly. Korto tells us about her background, and while her story of leaving Liberia with her family is touching, it's certainly no Laotian family prison. That dispensed with, Joe snipes at Daniel for threading one of the sewing machines with red thread. I've never understood why each designer doesn't just get their own machine that nobody else can use without permission, but then I guess we wouldn't get scintillating scenes like this one. So Joe yells at Daniel for not psychically divining which machine Joe uses. Daniel fails to fall over himself to apologize, so Joe goes into the workroom and gossips about how horrible Daniel is for this, having the temerity to give a world-weary sigh about all the drama the gay designers create. Um...Joe? The only fit-throwing priss I see right now is you.
Standouts on the runway include Korto, Keith, and Terri. We pause for a while on Terri's garment, as it looks like either her model's boobs have been shoved sideways, or her nipples have been digitally erased. A lot of designers, such as Kelli, make pretty clothing that is completely unsuitable for the challenge; I doubt our nation's athletes are going to stride into the opening ceremonies in cocktail dresses. Joe, unsurprisingly, takes the sports aspect more seriously, and winds up in the top three, along with Terri and Korto. Korto wins the challenge and immunity.
Daniel's dress isn't athletic in the least, and his saturated blue fabric comes off as purple on the runway. Jennifer makezzz..... Jerell's outfit is downright hideous. Yes, the one he's wearing, but especially the one he's made. It'd be like describing the Olympics to the Little House on the Prairie characters, and asking them to make a dress based on what they've just heard. Though I wouldn't be sad to see him go, Jennifer's reign of bland cannot be ignored any longer, and she gets the heave-ho. I've already forgotten her.
Overall Grade: B-
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