Oh, Wow! It's Like One of Those Things You See on TV!

The Amazing Race - Season 10, Episode 3

Previously on The Amazing Race: Ten teams left China for the expanse of Mongolia. Kimberly and Kandice learned that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't stop him from kicking your ass all over the place. Peter and Sarah couldn't "control their beast" (ew), but managed to surge into first place. Mary twisted her ankle, and some losers proved how loserly they are by losing. Nine teams remain. Who will be eliminated next?

Opening credits. Rob and Kimberly run along the beach. Not shown? The fact that they're each probably looking for a good place to dig a shallow grave for the other.

Mongolia. Phil, perhaps telepathically picking up my wishes, skips all his usual opening blather, and cuts right to Peter and Sarah, leaving the mat at 6:54 AM. Their clue tells them to get their asses to Hanoi, Vietnam, where they will make their way to a prison "infamously" known as the Hanoi Hilton. From what I've heard about the downslide of actual Hiltons, they're not much better than prisons by this point, anyway. It's probably Paris' fault. Sarah also reads that teams are getting no money for this leg of the race. No, really! In three legs of this race, the teams have only gotten $105 total. And that has to cover all cabs, goods, food (not eaten at pitstops), etc. In other words, lack of money actually has to figure into the teams' planning in a way that it didn't in previous seasons. It's yet another improvement in a long list that is really making this season quite a joy so far. Anyway, all the teams have to buy their airline tickets at a specific travel agency in a specific hotel. Peter and Sarah hop into their Russian jeep and go. Sarah interviews for what seems like the millionth time that her hydraulic knee is leaking fluid, so it's difficult for her to run. I'm sympathetic, but we get it now. Seriously.

Tyler and James leave the mat at 7:07 AM. Tyler says (and really, he always appears to be the one that interviews -- have we heard more than a few sentences out of James yet?) that the two of them have bickered a little bit, but haven't really fought, so they're able to concentrate on the race. Duke and Lauren leave at 7:45 AM. Lauren reads the clue, and you can already hear the "oh shit" in her voice when she gets to the part about no money being given. In their car, Duke jovially says "A lot of these girls on the street walk arm in arm! Think they're just friends, or what?". It's hard to describe what a Dad statement that is. He means well, but it's so obvious and embarrassing that you just want the Earth to open and swallow you. Can you tell I spent this past weekend with the family? Duke interviews that the only thing that can change in his relationship with Lauren is his acceptance of her sexuality. Again, I would have preferred (as would Lauren, no doubt) that his acceptance would have been a non-issue from the beginning, but he's clearly trying his best, and that's sweet. He says that his draft number didn't come up for the Vietnam War, so he didn't fight. Several of his friends did, though, and never returned. I can't even imagine that. Good thing all that's behind us, and we don't get into senseless wars anymore! *crickets*

Tom and Terry leave the mat at 7:52 AM. Tom says that they're both very independent people, and they've only been together for two years, so trying to make decisions together is stressful. Even more so when you're in a race, I'd say. LabRat and I couldn't even decide which movie to watch first the other night. In Peter and Sarah's car, she's reading off more of the clue. Not only do they have no money for this leg, but they're not allowed to beg from anyone nor sell anything. Yay! Sarah thinks they're in fairly good shape with forty dollars. Duke and Lauren? Eleven dollars. Eek. Peter and Sarah find the hotel with the travel agency, but it's not open until 9:00 AM. Tyler and James catch up to them. Dustin and Kandice leave the mat at 8:11 AM. Rob and Kimberly are off at 8:13 AM. Dustin and Kandice talk about how they're becoming more confident with directions, which leads to some weird non-sequitur interview in which they talk about overcoming beauty queen stereotypes. Kimberly has a similarly odd interview in which she says that the team's going to have a problem if Rob "chooses to say hurtful things" to her. Except the interview appears to be part of the same one she gave last week after one of their fights. And the fact that they're not fighting right now. And the fact that she yells just as much as he does. But besides that, it makes total sense!

David and Mary leave at 8:16 AM. In a scene symbolic of why I simultaneously like and dislike them, David talks about his father's experiences in Vietnam as he drives. He's conflicted about going there, and as he tries to relate his thoughts, a couple of cars pass them. Mary interrupts him to tell him to hurry up. He's going the fastest the car can go (or the fastest that teams are allowed to go) and tells her so. She snaps that she's not going to lose the race because blah blah blah. He snaps that she can take a look at his speedometer (or as he says it, SPEE-dah-meh-tur). She backs off. I understand that they have a relationship that I can't possibly begin to fully appreciate, but in terms of the show, it always seems like she's pleasant and polite to everyone in the world except the man she's supposed to love more than anyone else in the world. That's not heartening. But it's a minor quibble, and I do like these guys in general. Duke and Lauren arrive at the hotel, with Tom/Terry and Kandice/Dustin right behind them. I didn't realize what a gem of a nickname I stumbled upon when Kandice got dragged by the horse last week, but KanDustin suits them fine, apart from sounding like a small Florida town where they sell beets. Everyone forms a line to get into the travel agency in the order they arrived. David and Mary pull up to the hotel. Erwin and Godwin leave the mat at 8:18 AM. Godwin doesn't even care that much about the competition; he just loves the experience of the race, not to mention racing with his brother. Aw. Rob and Kimberly have to stop for directions.

And now...drama! Well, minor drama. The travel agency opens. Wait, is it 9:00 AM? How could it be? KanDustin left the mat five minutes before Erwin and Godwin, and are already in line. It only appears to be a 10-15 drive from the mat to the hotel, so what have Erwin and Godwin been doing for forty minutes? Weird editing. Anyway, the agency opens, and there are four ticket agents. Naturally, Peter and Sarah grab the first one, Tyler/James the second, and Duke/Lauren the third. Instead of going up to the fourth agent, Tom and Terry wander right past her and stand behind Peter and Sarah. After a beat, KanDustin's like, "Whatever", and walks up to the fourth agent to do business with her. When Tom and Terry realize what's going on, they conclude that KanDustin has "cut the line". Um, nice try. The line was to get into the travel agency. Once you're inside, the line has accomplished its purpose and is disbanded. Tom and Terry are just embarrassed to admit they made a mistake, and are trying to play it off by acting as if KanDustin has just played dirty, which they totally haven't. Terry advises Tom to let it go, but Tom can't help being a whiny queen, and well...whines that he thought he could "trust" KanDustin, and snots to Terry that they won't "win a beauty pageant of kindness". Er... Good one? And remember when Tom brought out that tiresome old chestnut of not wanting to be friends with other teams? Reap what you sow, twit. It's official. I hate Tom and Terry. You know what, scratch that. I just hate Tom. Terry seems relatively inoffensive. What is up with assholes named Tom on TV recently? I feel sorry for my good friend Tom, who manages to carry the name without being a douchebag. Way to be a role model! Anyway, I've really had it up to the eyeballs with the unlikable, whiny, dramatic, prissy, asshole gay guys this show casts. Come on, producers! There are a ton of nice gay men out there! I know a lot of them!

Lyn and Karlyn leave the mat at 9:02 AM. Lyn interviews that they'd love a million dollars, but that the race is very stressful and painful, much like childbirth. Let's hope that's not one of the tasks. Back at the travel agency, everyone works on getting tickets. Rob and Kimberly arrive, followed by Erwin/Godwin and Lyn/Karlyn. All of the teams get the exact same tickets, so that whole line dustup was completely pointless. At the airport, David tends to Mary's ailing ankle. They hope they'll be able to still manage the tasks. The plane takes off.

Hanoi. As with most of the places we see on this show, it's beautiful. I haven't traveled in a while, and I can feel the old wanderlust kicking in. The plane lands at 10:58 PM. Everyone rushes out of the airport to look for a taxi. KanDustin gets a good jump. They figure they'll have to pay the driver at least ten dollars, and they have twenty-four. Uh oh, Duke and Lauren. Rob/Kimberly, Tyler/James, and Peter/Sarah grab taxis. Duke and Lauren hail a cab, having found themselves a helper on the plane. She lives in Hanoi, and is going to ride with them and help communicate where the taxi driver needs to go. There's a problem, though, because she has to go back into the airport to get her bag, leaving Duke and Lauren to wait. This is where if I were in their position, I'd ditch her. I'd feel guilty about it, but there's no time for that. Lauren wants to do just that, but Duke feels her language skills will help them out. Erwin and Godwin grab a cab. Lauren stresses some more. Lyn/Karlyn and David/Mary have the smart idea to save some money by sharing a cab, but there's just not enough room to accommodate them all, so they wind up getting separate taxis. Lyn interviews that they love David and Mary, because they're such good people, and because Southern folks stick together. Heh. Tom and Terry get a cab. Duke and Lauren's (un)helper finally comes back, and they get going.

KanDustin comes upon an accident, and it's a pretty severe one. A truck has overturned on the highway. Other vehicles are able to get around it, but KanDustin pulls over and jumps out. I'm not sure why. Did they think they'd be able to help or something? This allows Rob and Kimberly (who joke about running over KanDustin, like, GOOD ONE) and Tyler and James (who are similarly pleased to pass, but at least have the good taste to be anxious for the people in the accident) to blow by. The other teams get around the accident as well. David and Mary pass Lyn and Karlyn. Meanwhile, Duke and Lauren are receiving the unhappy news that their (un)helper has asked the cab driver to take her to her brother's place, and then is heading for the prison. She's just blissfully sharing a cab. No hurry! Duke tries to be hopeful, but Lauren has sunk into sarcastic despair by now, which is exactly how I'd be reacting.

Commercials. It is my fondest wish that once I buy a new car, a giant gorilla will attempt to eat me.

So not only are Duke and Lauren screwed by going out of their way to drop the (un)helper off, but you know what a longer cab ride means. A larger fare. Remember that eleven dollars? They finally drop their (un)helper off. Thanks for nothing, lady! Duke thinks they'll be fine. "Yeah, when we're arrested because we can't pay him," Lauren snaps. They're in a sucky position, and all because they were too polite to renege on their agreement to share the cab. Sad. At the prison, Rob/Kimberly and Tyler/James are arriving to find that it opens at 8:00 AM. All the other teams catch up to them there. KanDustin doesn't realize the place is closed and tries the door. "It's not open; just chill," either Tyler or James says. In answer to your question, yes, it sounded as condescending as it looks. Teams begin to set up sleeping bags and such. When Duke and Lauren arrive, Duke offers up his eleven dollars, and says that he has nothing more to his name. He asks the driver if that's OK, and the driver, nervous by the presence of the camera crew, I suspect, hesitantly nods. They shake hands. Whew, close call. Though I do feel bad for this guy who just got stiffed. Duke and Lauren know they completely lucked out on this one.

Morning. A man emerges from the prison, and hands each of the teams a scroll. It details the imprisonment of United States servicemen held within the prison's walls, including John McCain. Teams are now to search the prison for John McCain's flight suit. Once they find it, a nearby man will hand them their next clue. David is honored to be doing the task, in deference to his father. Aw. The doors open, and everyone streams in. They split up and look for the suit, stumbling across several cells with mannequins in shackles. First to find the suit are Tom and Terry, Tom repeating "John McCain's flight suit" over and over.

Gnat: "Is he autistic?"

The man standing nearby hands over the clue, and Terry tries to calm Tom down for a moment to take in the gravity of the place in which they're standing. Peter and Sarah are next to find the suit, but when Peter turns around to tell Tyler something, Kimberly grabs the outstretched clue the man is proffering. Peter actually snatches it out of her hands, as if the man isn't standing six inches away, ready to give them all one. Rob gives an indignant "Hey!" at this, with the unspoken "How'd you like to be beaten with your girlfriend's artificial leg?" hanging off the end. Peter gives the clue back to Kimberly. While he's distracted with this, James takes the next clue. Hahahaha! Peter throws up his hands in aggravation, and Sarah's like, "Jeez, I'll get one myself." All that takes place in the span of about fifteen seconds, and it was hilarious. Duke and Kandice also grab clues. When they leave, Godwin, Karlyn, and Mary take one. After everyone's cleared out, Erwin and Godwin go back in to observe a moment of silence. For a second I was thinking "Cripes, it's not like John McCain is dead", but they explain that their silence is in respect to servicemen all over the world, not only during the Vietnam War, but to this day. Way to make me feel like a total shitslice.

Everyone opens the clue. It tells them to make their way a mile and half to the Old Quarter and find a marked flower shop, where the next clue awaits. Most people go for taxis, and are told it's only two dollars to get there. Still, that's two more dollars than Duke and Lauren have, so they get directions and set out walking. By the way, if this bit where people yell "two dollars!" over and over doesn't remind you of Better Off Dead, you're no son of mine. Teams in taxis are dropped off, and there is some initial confusion as to where the flower shop is. It makes sense, given that there are about a million people going in a million directions around it. Tom and Terry are first to the cluebox. Roadblock! Phil explains that in this Roadblock, the chosen team member has to get on a bicycle (and put on one of those conical hats) to sell flowers to people on the streets. They have to make 80,000 dong, which is roughly five dollars. Oh, and whatever money they make, they may keep, which is a neat little twist. A team may well be tempted to stick around longer than they should, just to make a few bucks. Tom takes the Roadblock. Mary tries to get directions to the flower shop by drawing a flower on her clue. Heh. Next to the cluebox is Erwin and Godwin. Erwin takes it. It seems his tires are flat, so he has trouble getting going. Peter takes the Roadblock. He immediately sells a bouquet, and the soundtrack has a little ch-chiiing!!! sound effect added in. Cheesy! Tom and Erwin are having more trouble. Erwin is on his knees, begging an older woman to buy some flowers. Peter's still raking it in. Tyler and James approach the cluebox, and see Tom lookin' all doofy in his hat. Tyler laughs his ass off. Tom whines "pleeeeeease" at someone, which is so effective in selling things, I find. Erwin crashes his bike and sends flowers skittering across the pavement. Godwin says he should have taken this task. Yep, looks like it. At least Godwin's displaying some bicep. Rob and James take the Roadblock. Rob doesn't even put his hat on. Boo! He drops some flowers off the bike without noticing. Kandice takes the Roadblock. Mary's ankle is still bothering her, so David takes it. Karlyn says it's her turn, but she doesn't look thrilled with the idea. Both she and David look lovably doofy in their hats. Duke and Lauren are still walking, Duke commenting on the hot weather. More selling back at the market. Sarah interviews that Peter was selling flowers left and right, surmising that people were entranced by his blond hair. She's probably right. Peter sits wordlessly off to the side during her interview.

Gnat: "He's barely said anything this episode."
Limecrete: "Hey, you're right. But you didn't see the last one. He was a total asshole. I'm sensing someone got a tongue-lashing at the pitstop."

They've made enough money, and get their next clue. It directs them to travel by public bus to the small village of Vac, thirty miles away. Once there, they will need to find a Buddhist temple, where their next clue awaits. They dash off. Peter says they need to be sure and get on the right bus. "Of course!" Sarah says. Cue wah-wah-waaaaaaah music. They didn't have any, but they should have. Back at the market, everyone is easily selling flowers right by the door. Erwin is wandering around helpless, and Godwin is yelling his name over and over. "Dammit, shut up," Erwin crabs to himself. Hehe. They laughingly interview that their aptitude in academics doesn't do them much good when they're trying to sell flowers at the same time as people like KanDustin. Behold, the power of boobies. Less successful is Tom, who is actually yelling rudely at the people trying to buy his flowers. Ass. Duke and Lauren finally arrive, and Duke takes the Roadblock. Rob and Kandice finish at about the same time. They run off to find the bus. James finishes.

Peter and Sarah are at the bus station, which is as noisy and crowded as the flower market was. They try and find the right bus mostly by yelling "Vac!?!" a lot. They think they find the correct one, and hop on. Erwin finishes the Roadblock, having slipped three places in the meantime. Tom finishes, having slipped five places. Teams being shuffled due to their aptitude at a task and not random luck! Whee! Peter and Sarah are talking to another one of the passengers, and figure out that they're on the wrong bus. They freak out. I have no idea how Erwin and Godwin passed all the people that left the Roadblock before them, but they're first on the correct bus to Vac. It leaves without any other teams catching up. The passenger on Sarah and Peter's bus tells them to look for bus #22. They thank him and get off. They head for a nearby bus stop and start scanning for the correct one.

Karlyn and David finish the Roadblock. Mary asks a nearby guy to lead them to the bus station. She's good at that. Other teams wander around looking for the bus station. Ah, so that's how Erwin and Godwin beat them. Duke sells flowers like the wind. If the wind were really good at selling flowers. They grab their clue and leave, this time with some money. [It is at this point that my tape cuts off, since my VCR was programmed to tape from 7-8 and football (and thus, 60 Minutes) ran long. If I hadn't happened to notice this scheduling change at my dad's house as we were leaving for synagogue, fly into a blind panic, and practically force him up the stairs at knifepoint to pop a fresh tape in his VCR, I'd have missed the rest. Bless you, Lady Luck. Who says good things can't happen on Yom Kippur?] Tom and Terry have found the bus station, and are all alone on the second bus to Vac. Peter and Sarah continue waiting. KanDustin finds a guy to lead them to the station, and Tyler/James follow them. And Rob/Kimberly follow them. And Lyn/Karlyn follow them. "We'll all follow each other to Hell, I guess," Karlyn says, and why that wasn't the episode title, I can't imagine.

Duke and Lauren spot the herd, so for the second time this leg, they've managed to catch up after lagging badly. Everyone has to get across a crowded street with rushing traffic to get to the bus station, which one of the guys awesomely (and entirely correctly) compares to Frogger. Kids of the '80s represent! Kimberly comes within about two inches of being splatted by a motorbike. Yikes! That's not an exaggeration. The bike stops in time, but literally swipes her leg. I'll bet that was terrifying. I don't like her, but I have no wish to see her intestines all over the road. After taking a moment to collect herself, they all (including David and Mary who have shown up at some point) hop on the third bus to Vac. A bunch of busses pass by Peter and Sarah, but none are the right one. "We're out of it," Sarah says, which is exactly what they said last week when they came in first, so SHUT UP.

Commercials. Speaking of shut up, Peyton Manning...

Peter and Sarah continue waiting, knowing they messed up. On the bus, David finds it strange to be in Vietnam, given what his father went through. Mary manages to let him get through this one without interrupting to snipe at him. Erwin and Godwin have reached Vac. They ask a man on a motorbike where the temple is, and he points them in the right direction and tells them it's about a kilometer. He offers to take them on the bike, which Erwin politely declines. Phil lets us in on the fact that for safety reasons, teams are forbidden from operating or riding on motorbikes while in Vietnam. I think that previous scene with Kimberly is all the reasoning we need. Of course, Phil telling us about this rule is equivalent to a gun shown in Act One of a play. Peter and Sarah's bus finally arrives, and they get on, correctly suspecting that they're in last place. As Erwin and Godwin approach the cluebox at the Buddhist temple, several people run through with those cloth or paper dragons you see at parades. It's quite cool. They take it in for a moment, then get their clue. Detour! Fuel or Fowl. In Fuel, teams walk to a courtyard, and use wet coal and a traditional press to make thirty coal bricks. When they finish, the coalmaker will give them their next clue. The Coalmaker would totally be my wrestling name. In Fowl, teams walk to a different courtyard to construct a birdcage, using traditional materials and methods. I'd be terrible at that.

Erwin and Godwin head for Fuel. They find someone to lead them there. Tom and Terry's bus arrives in Vac. They ask for directions much like Erwin and Godwin did, and as in that situation, a couple guys offer to take them to the Buddhist temple on their motorbikes. Tom and Terry accept. Yes, ACCEPT. And the gun goes off in Act Three. Erwin and Godwin arrive at Fuel. Basically, you toss wet, dirty sludge into a press (much like a Play-doh pumper), add some sand, press it, release it, and gently pull it out. It's a lot less sexual than it sounds. They get started, and the nearby crowd laughs at them, which never gets old in any country. Tom and Terry arrive at the temple. They get their clue and head for Fuel. Erwin and Godwin are done already. That was way too fast for a Detour. But wait! Their bricks aren't right. The coalmaker pulls over one of the example bricks on the ground, and it's about twice the height. All thirty of their bricks have to be redone. Ouch. The third bus (the one with the majority of teams) arrives in Vac. Everyone heads for the Buddhist temple, Mary talking about her sore ankle. [Quick aside to Anonymous in the comments: at no point do any of the other teams take a motorbike. You may be thinking of Rob on his bicycle selling flowers at the Roadblock. -- Limecrete] Tom and Terry arrive at Fuel. They have trouble figuring out what to do until the crowd mimes the actions for them. All of the arriving teams (Tyler/James, Rob/Kimberly, Lyn/Karlyn, David/Mary, Duke/Lauren, KanDustin) choose Fuel. Yeah, they didn't make Fowl sound enticing at all. Upon seeing the dragons, Mary yells the titular quote happily. David duhs in an interview that working with coal was an easy choice for them. And it's worth noting that while David and Mary are last to the cluebox, they're also the only team to ask someone to lead them to Fuel. Everyone else has rushed off in a frenzy.

Back at Fuel, Erwin and Godwin are finishing up, their hands solid black with sludge. Tom and Terry are making progress, but have to redo a few of their bricks. Erwin and Godwin get the go-ahead, and take their next clue, which directs them to make their way on foot to the next pitstop: Canh Dong Dia, an expansive rice paddy. The ground is so wet that they've constructed a wooden platform for the mat to rest on. Heh. Erwin and Godwin ask the nearby crowd about it, and a boy volunteers to take them there. Peter and Sarah finally arrive in Vac. They get directions to the temple and set off walking. Peter tells Sarah she's moving kind of slow (not in a terribly nasty way or anything), and Sarah says that with her knee issue, she can't go much faster. Meanwhile, all the teams on the third bus save David and Mary are wandering around lost. Duke and Lauren stop to ask someone for directions and in doing so, lose the rest of the other teams. It looks like they actually find their way to the rice paddy. Peter and Sarah arrive at the temple and pull their Detour clue. They pick Fuel. It's unanimous. Their subtitle says "Currently in 1st Place". Wishful thinking, subtitle guy.

Tom and Terry work on their bricks. Tyler and James manage to find someone willing to lead them to Fuel without alerting the other teams nearby. Sneaky. Duke and Lauren are still lost. David and Mary show up at Fuel ahead of everyone else, thanks to their helper. They get started. Tyler and James show up next, also thanks to some help. Everyone is so helpful in Vietnam! Except, of course, that lady who screwed over Duke and Lauren. Tyler or James calls over to David that this task must be right up his alley. "This ain't real coal," David says. "Ours is hard. Theirs is mud." He punctuates this with a particularly hard splat! of sludge into the press. Erwin and Godwin have found the rice paddy, and make their way over to Phil. The greeter is an elderly Vietnamese woman, and just may be about the most adorable greeter ever seen on this show (well, maybe second in line behind the guy who brandished a whip and yelled "Wellllcome to Huuuuuuuunnnnnngary!" ka-whip!). Phil tells them they're team number one, and they scream in victory and hug. They win a state-of-the-art (or "aaat" as Phil calls it) entertainment system. Sweet.

Duke and Lauren stumble across Fowl entirely by accident. They decide to just stay and give it a try. Back at Fuel, the gaggle of wandering teams from before arrives. Tyler and James complain of dehydration (thanks, MONIQUE), while KanDustin gets a good, steady rhythm going. David spaces out a little bit, which he interviews is because of his whole Dad-in-Vietnam thing. I hate to sound like a jerk, but yeah. Your Dad was in Vietnam. WE GET IT NOW. Peter and Sarah arrive at Fuel just as Tom and Terry are finishing up. They find someone to lead them to the rice paddy. Duke and Lauren plug away on their birdcage. Tom and Terry spot Phil, drop their packs, and run over. "Tom and Terry, you're the second team to arrive." They celebrate, not picking up on the fact that it's not a good sign when Phil says "X team to arrive" rather than "team number X". He tells them they didn't follow their clue correctly, brings up the motorbike ride, and gives them a thirty minute penalty (the standard time, from what I can remember). Oof. There's no way they saved thirty minutes by taking that ride, so this was a major mistake. They walk off to the side, Terry saying "It's over." I'm not sure I can articulately express how sick I am of all these teams every season spouting their "It couldn't be more obvious that we're out of the race" claptrap. Suffice it to say that every time I hear it now, I have the urge to crawl through my TV and punch whoever says it in the gut.

Commercials. Now available on DVD -- X-Men: The Last Stand, or as I call it, Softcore Porn With Special Effects.

Tom and Terry wait. Five minutes have passed. Duke and Lauren build. Tyler and James finish their coal bricks and leave. KanDustin thinks they're finished, but they have to redo one of theirs. David and Mary finish. KanDustin finishes. Both teams haul ass, and the camera zooms in on the pack that David has left behind. Dun dun dun! Rob and Kimberly finish. They run, but Rob's energy is depleted from the Detour and they have to slow down a bit. Peter and Sarah finish, so either they were really good at this, or Lyn and Karlyn are really bad at it. David and Mary realize they're missing their pack. David runs back. Meanwhile, Tyler and James check in as team number two. About twelve minutes left on Tom and Terry's penalty. I'd take the time to wash some of the coal sludge off my hands, but maybe that's frowned upon in rice paddies. Duke and Lauren build. David snags his pack. Lyn and Karlyn finish their bricks. Teams run all over the place. Rob and Kimberly narrowly beat KanDustin to the mat, becoming teams three and four, respectively. Peter approaches the mat, cheerfully saying "Way to come from behind!", which would be more inspirational if Sarah weren't fifteen feet behind him, practically crawling because her leg can't take anymore. They're team number five, which is a much better placement than they were expecting. Phil tells Tom and Terry that "this has got to suck." Way to rub it in, Phil. Six minutes left on the penalty.

Duke and Lauren finish their cage, and run for the mat, currently in last place. I've got to say that this sucks for them, but I'd be way more proud of myself for successfully finishing the cage than successfully finishing the bricks. Terry's crying. Aw. Lyn and Karlyn manage to run past David and Mary, but feel a bit guilty for doing so. Mary stumbles a bit, and Lyn and Karlyn actually pause to make sure she's OK. David tells them to go on ahead. "Are you sure?" Lyn says. Double aw. And even more so, because these two teams have got to think they're competing over last place right now. Lyn and Karlyn are ecstatic to hear they're team number six. Mary stumbles some more. Yeah, a rice paddy is probably not the best terrain for a weak ankle. They check in as team number seven. David has coal smeared all over his face. Mary hugs Lyn warmly. Phil asks Lyn how tough the race is, and she talks about how frustrating it is and how angry with yourself you get, and how she felt bad for passing a team she considers friends. "You had to!" Mary says, letting her off the hook. Lyn says that she didn't want David and Mary to go home because they're such deserving people. Triple aw. Mary interviews that they've formed a close friendship with Lyn/Karlyn, Erwin/Godwin, and Tom/Terry (whom she goes over to hug as they wait out their penalty). As she walks off, Mary calls "Tom! Terry! Don't give up! I'm waitin' on you to walk me back, 'kay? Need somebody to lean on. Got a sprained foot." She says this lightly and with complete confidence, which was very cute. Quadruple aw.

Duke and Lauren run. Will they get there before the penalty runs out? Will they!?!?!? Well, unfortunately not. The penalty time runs out, and Tom and Terry check in as team number eight. Ouch. The Vietnamese woman just stands there fanning herself. Heh. Tom vows that they won't let this get them down. Whatever, dude. Just try to be less of a jackoff next week. Duke and Lauren approach. Phil tells them that they're last, and that they've been eliminated. Aw, damn. Lauren starts to cry, and she and Duke hug. Duke says that they've learned a lot from each other, and that whatever makes Lauren happy will make him happy. I swear I'm not tearing up. I just...have something in my eye. In the final interview, Duke says that he'd almost wish this experience on every parent (not to interrupt his emotional moment, but I don't think I'll be signing up to do this with either parent unless a full frontal lobotomy is involved), and gives Lauren a smooch on the cheek. She seems too stricken from being eliminated to add anything. I'm sorry to see them go.

Next week on The Amazing Race: Sarah gets through a difficult climb. Again. She's pissed when Peter wants to quit a task. Again. Rob and Kimberly fight. Again. Are we sure this is going to be a new episode?

Overall Grade: A